A HUGE bear hug for all those that have reviewed, PM'd, and alerted this story already!! I am completely blown away by the love!! *dries eyes*
A/N: Just a reminder that this is a 'what if' story, therefore I reserve to 'what if' Sookie's ass into accepting the Supe world, being a little more critical of her 'kind', and of course, realizing that maybe Eric isn't such a bad guy after all.
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the rights to these characters, CH does. However, she does not own the rights to my twisted thoughts of one, Mr. Northman! :D
I have to give my love to Sunkisz who has been exceptionally supportive, and encouraging me with ideas and help when I feel like a complete fail!! *tackles and loves on her girl*
~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~
It was eerily quiet as I stood off to the side of the door, just inside the hallway, waiting for Barry to take that last step of courage to move away from the handrail. I could only imagine how white his knuckles were from gripping his safety line of a steel bar. He was visibly a nervous wreck, which I admit, was making me more nervous than I actually was.
While our escort tried to reassure Barry that no harm would come to him, I let my eyes adjust to the ambiance of the second floor of the Thorne building. A soft red shadow was cast upon the multi-colored carpet and beige walls of the office hallway. The 'Exit' sign was to be the main source of the lighting that would lead our way. The other came from that of small, plastic ropes lining the perimeter of the walls, crossing in front of the door frames. They held what looked like white Christmas lights inside. I wondered if they had raided the nearest movie theater for their emergency track lighting.
Mr. Cataliades had caught the solid wooden stairwell door just as Barry let go of it. "It's best to maintain as little noise as possible." He slightly narrowed his eyes, giving Barry what looked like a warning. When he caught my attention, I simply nodded in agreement. We might be on the floor that held the less volatile vampires, but they were still vampires, none-the-less. Vampires that had just survived a horrific ordeal.
Each of my sub-conscience footsteps were soft and slow. I felt like I was walking into a haunted house during Halloween. You know the feeling when you're waiting for someone to jump out from behind a corner or closed door, and there's only enough light to allow you to see the eyes of the predator just before it strikes? But, despite your bodies desire to flee, you keep moving forward anyway because in some deep recess of your psyche you want someone to scare the hell out of you? You seek out a resolution for the yearning to feel your heart press against its confined space at an alarming rate? Yeah. That's what it felt like as I passed each closed, locked door.
As twisted as it sounded, even to myself, I think I secretly wanted that. I wanted to feel the exhilaration and rush of my blood sending every biologic response within me to come alive. Unbeknownst to myself at the time, my body had naturally reacted with the fight response, rather than the flight, earlier today.
In hindsight, I knew exactly when the moment took place. It felt like days had passed since Barry alerted me to the bombs, but in reality, it had only been about nine hours. Nine hours of my body on alert, my brain being used harder than I had ever worked it before, and my blood coursing through my veins with a fierceness that only survival mode can evoke. Now that I was able to fall captive to my weariness and sorrow, my body was slowly letting go of the stressors; I felt like I was crashing.
Slowly and quietly, Mr. Cataliades lead us down the hall. Using his hand he pointed to each of the doors, letting us know the occupants of each. "On the left you have Alabama, Iowa, and Kentucky. At the head of the hallway is Louisiana, and on the right, Mississippi & Indiana, Tennessee, and Texas."
"Is there a reason they're in alphabetical order?" I didn't exactly think that it was chance that they lined the regents around the hallway by order of their state.
With a small leer stretching across his countenance, Mr Cataliades, answered the way I presumed he would. "It makes for delivery of meals much easier and efficient."
Outwardly I rolled my eyes, but inwardly I was feeling something that surprised me. Almost to the point I was taken-back by my immediate emotional response of thinking about watching Eric feed from someone. I couldn't possibly be jealous... could I? It wasn't that I thought negatively about a vampire feeding --although I didn't particularly like to watch feeding from the source. After all, I wasn't naive. If anything, I had learned a lot about the Supe world over the course of the year.
Granted, I still had plenty to learn. Most of what I knew came from my own experiences and hearing it from the thoughts of Fangbangers. Bill never wanted to share anything about his world with me. When I would ask him specific questions, his responses were always vague, and usually ended with some condemnation of his own kind.
I think one of the biggest reasons our relationship was always hindered from growing was because of his views. He would keep me at arms length from truly knowing everything about him -- including what his world entailed. I never knew if it was because he was embarrassed or disliked what he was, or if it was because he didn't trust me, or thought I would run if I truly knew the inner workings of vampires. I'm sure he probably never even realized that what he was doing was hurting me. He made me feel like I was unworthy of him and his world -- and that wound ran deep.
Just as we came to stand in front of a closed, wooden door at the furthermost part of the hallway, Mr. Cataliades pulled out his cell phone and began quickly pushing buttons. I thought it was slightly funny to watch a daemon lawyer standing outside an office door, texting a vampire for entry. Suddenly, I wanted to giggle. My amusement came to an abrupt stop; however, when the distinct sounds of two safety locks 'clicked' and the door swung open a crack, bringing a very red face, accented by blonde hair, into view.
My lungs sucked back air and my heart clenched. It was an involuntary response to the site of the fearless Eric standing there injured enough that he had not yet healed, even after hours of rest. He still had not taken in Barry nor I, when he slipped back into the shadows of the room, leaving the door ajar for us to enter.
"I'm just going to wait here," Barry told us quietly. He was looking down playing with one of the clips on the fireman jacket. I could tell by his thoughts that he felt really uncomfortable being in such close proximity of an injured vampire and he really wanted to get out of here.
"I understand." I grabbed his hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Thank you, Barry -- for everything. Please just be safe."
"I will. No more hero stuff for me for awhile," he stated with a hint of laughter in his voice.
"No. That probably wouldn't be a good idea right now." I laughed with him, as best as I could given the situation, before I leaned forward to give him a hug. I turned and left Barry leaning against the wall while I followed Mr. Cataliades into the office.
Just as I walked in, Mr. Cataliades reached back and grabbed my wrist, pulling me to stand on the far side of the room. "Just to be safe for the time being," he whispered to me. It wasn't until then, that I realized how careless I had been in my thinking. It also wasn't until this very moment that I realized just how much trust I instinctively put in to Eric. Here I was, a fresh meal walking into a dimly lit room, with an injured vampire. Maybe Barry was right. Maybe I was crazy. But, something deep down inside of me told me I was safe. I knew I was safe, and the warmth from that feeling washed over me.
If it wasn't for the two sources of light, I wouldn't be able to see anything. The light on in the present room, was a small lamp on top of a large desk in the back center of the office. The other soft light came from an ajar door of an additional room off to the side of me. The light created a wedge pattern on the floor, broken by a piece of furniture, before coming to a stop across the upper part of Eric's shirtless chest. He had moved to sit in the corner of a leather love seat against the wall. One arm was stretched across the back and the other bent against the arm to hold his head.
The crestfallen look on Eric's face when he finally looked into my eyes had me fighting back tears. I felt like I was staring back into the face of my Eric. The Eric that had found his way to my house, my bed and my heart, so many months ago. It startled me to the core. I never thought I would see that look again; and here it was, challenging me anew, to decide whether I would care for him -- both physically and emotionally.
The lawyer was the first to initiate the conversation, drawing Eric's attention away from me, which I was thankful for. Eric's gaze was always so intense, and under the emotional warring I was internally doing at seeing him injured, I needed a moment to center myself.
"If you think you will be able to handle it, I feel it is best to keep Ms. Stackhouse here with you, Mr. Northman. She has been seen using her talent today which has already drawn too much attention to her."
Eric nodded in agreement before looking to me again. "Is this acceptable with you, Sookie? You seem to always be trying to find a way around having to be in the same room as me." A small hint of a smile touched his lips before falling lax again.
Despite his attempt to be light hearted about the matter, my chest clenched at his remark. Did I really give him that impression? I never wanted him to think that I didn't want to be around him. I just didn't understand a lot of the things that were always happening to me. More recently, our blood exchange. Maybe I could finally get some answers if we had the opportunity to actually talk, without any interruptions, or coercions from other people.
"Yes, Eric, I'm fine with staying here. I think Mr. Cataliades is right. The fire chief seemed particularly interested in getting Barry's and my, names and addresses."
"Speaking of," the lawyer interjected, "I need to get Barry on his way home safely. Ms. Stackhouse, I will be back as soon as possible with clothing and food for you."
I nodded in understanding.
"Mr. Northman, is there anything else, that you require at the moment? Perhaps I should request a donor for you?"
As if it was a punctuation mark at the end of his question, my stomach clenched with hearing him ask Eric if he wanted some fangbanger to come in here and feed him -- and God knows what else. I knew that I could not stand to watch that. All I could see when I looked at Eric's tired and injured features, was my Eric. A sense of possession from deep within me, suddenly surfaced, causing my brain to think, "Nobody but me was going to take care of him."
Eric's eyes shifted slowly towards mine at that instance, almost like he could read my mind. I simply held his challenging gaze before whispering, "No." His eyes widened momentarily before returning to his expressionless disposition.
"Ms. Stackhouse?" Mr. Cataliades questioned.
I could have lied and said my outburst was because I was having a different silent conversation with myself, in which I responded out loud. Or I could have told them that my 'no' meant that I didn't want to be in the same room as Eric when he fed. I'm sure I could have quickly come up with something to cover my assertion. But, the bottom line was, I could not deny the feeling of jealousy I felt when I thought of my Eric with someone else.
"I said, No. A donor won't be necessary." My voice was quiet and I tried with all my might to keep the quivering down to a minimum. I wasn't as nervous about giving Eric blood as I was with him possibly rejecting me.
If I had a camera handy, I so would have taken a picture of Eric's sudden expression. It was clear that he was not expecting that from me. I also wanted to give myself a pat on the back for shocking the hell out of one, Mr. Northman. But, like every expression that Eric portrays, his look of shock was soon traded in for a sexy leer, that had me feeling things I definitely wasn't expecting.
I must of surprised the lawyer, as well, because he, too, hesitated before responding, "Very well, Ms. Stackhouse. On that note, I will take my leave. I will keep you posted with any further developments, Mr. Northman."
Mr. Cataliades had made it to the door and out before neither Eric, nor I, moved a muscle. Our eyes were so focused on one another it was as if we both were waiting for the other to make the first move. We were alone, yet neither of us spoke.
I contemplated whether or not I had made a mistake. Maybe my confidence in thinking that Eric would want me was exaggerated. Although, he could of spoke up if he didn't want what I was offering, I irritatedly thought. I decided to test the waters so-to-speak by slowly making my way to the couch, and taking my place at the opposite end.
When he didn't say anything, but stare at me for a couple of minutes, my confidence faltered and my eyes fell to the floor. Damn it! Why couldn't he just say something -- anything? Not only were my emotions wearing me out, but the longer that I sat on the plush, smooth leather couch, the heavier my eyes felt. My body was starting to succumb to my fatigue without my control over it.
I almost missed his low voice calling my name while I was losing myself to my weariness. "Sookie."
Slowly it registered that he was speaking to me. I forced myself to open my eyes, and looked at him. His head was still being held up and cradled by his bent arm. It finally dawned on me that he was waiting for me to make the first move. "I'm sorry, Eric. If you want me to call back Mr. Cataliades, I will. I just thought… I mean if you don't want me… Do you even have True Bl..."
"Sookie," he interrupted, "stop. I am not upset. Surprised, yes, but I assure you I am not upset." And with that, I finally got to see a small smile that helped to reestablish a hint of my confidence.
Embarrassingly, my body took that moment to yawn.
"You are tired," he stated.
"Yes. It's been a long day and I've pushed myself harder than I ever had."
He nodded his head. "There is much to be said, but I see that now is not the time. Will you allow me to spend some time with you tomorrow night?"
"Yes. I would like that," I replied, meaning it. I knew there where things to talk about. I had a lot of questions that needed to be answered, and I hoped he would be willing to oblige me.
A brief moment of silence passed, and a whole lot of staring at one another, before he firmly requested, "Come here, Sookie."
The slippery leather made it easy for my dress pants from last night to slide across the seat. I was now sitting close enough to take in some of the additional injuries that I could not see in the muted lighting of the room. Small blisters lined his hairline from is crown to his left ear, and dotted the perimeter of his mouth.
"Oh, Eric," I said, as I lifted my shaky fingers to trace his deep red lips. "I'm so sorry."
He just sat there quietly, letting me gently trace my fingers along his injuries. I knew that it was more for my own sake of comforting, than for him.
"Why do your hands tremble? Are you ill?" he asked, finally reaching up to take them in his hand. He brought both of my hands to his lap and rubbed the tops with his thumbs. It was such a compassionate gesture that evoked deep emotions from memories of the time he spent with me at my house. Maybe I didn't know Eric like I always thought I did.
"They've been doing that all day. Ever since...well, you know."
He just nodded while continuing to look at them.
"Mr. Cataliades even had to help me work the clasps on this jacket. I couldn't work them properly with my hands shaking so much."
Seconds of silence took place before he responded, "Here. Let me help you." Keeping his eyes fixed on mine, he grabbed a fist full of my hair that laid against the front of the jacket, and pushed it behind me. Slowly, he unclasped the top pewter latch, watching his own hands unwrap me from my canvas protection. By the time he had reached the third of the seven clasps, my breath was deep and uneven.
My brain and body were having a tennis match, fighting back and forth between the need for sleep and the need to feed my desires Eric was stroking. I never thought I would crave his touch like I was in this moment. Only part of me felt ashamed that I had literally just separated from Quinn. But in defense of myself, Quinn and I never did have a fulfilling relationship; we practically never saw one another. Why couldn't I, just for once, let myself embrace the feelings that Eric awoke in me?
The feeling of the jacket being pushed by Eric's guiding hands over my silk shirt, sent tingles straight to my arms and chest. I really hoped in that moment my bra was hiding my response to his touch.
"As much as I always appreciate your presence Sookie, you are looking, and smelling, quite dirty. Perhaps you would like to shower first?" he said with a slight smile.
I probably should have been irritated with him for his not-so-tactful way of putting it, but he was right; I was filthy. Instead, I gave him a skeptical look. I know damn well what happened between Eric and I every time the magic from tap water spilled out of a shower spout. Picking up on my suspicion, his smile grew, accompanied with a hmph sound. "I promise to let you shower on your own. I just want you to feel more… relaxed."
His offer of a shower was one too good to resist. He showed me the bathroom located in the additional room off of the main office. It was a complete, working bathroom embellished with gold and black fixtures. I took the time to brush my teeth with my finger and took an extra hot shower, desperate to wash away the soot and memories of this day. I usually was very reflective of my day, and things that effected me throughout it, when I was alone in the shower. Tonight, however, I willed myself to think about anything but today's events.
It wasn't until I wiped the steam from the mirror over the sink and took in my appearance, did my emotions finally get the best of me. I reached up, tracing my finger over a thin scratch that ran from my temple down to my jaw. I didn't even know how I got it, but there it was, reminding me that I couldn't hide from today's events. With that, horrid and frightening visions and sounds flooded my brain.
I gripped the side of the counter briefly before collapsing to the floor, sobbing. I didn't understand how people could intentionally set out to hurt others. How could people be so ignorant? Just because they didn't understand something different from themselves, they justified their cold wrath with occasional exaggerations and lies. Just when I thought I had heard the extent of ugliness, I was proven wrong. I drew my legs in up to my chest, pulling the large bath towel further down around me, and let myself cry earnestly for the first time today.
I barely noticed the feeling of the button down shirt that Eric had given me earlier, being draped over my shoulders, and being lifted up off the floor. He brought us in to the room and sat us down on the edge of a bed. I didn't even mind that he kept my barely clothed body in his lap and against his chest. Resting his chin on the top of my head, he whispered, "Shhhh, Sookie. You are safe now," over and over, all the while stroking the back of my damp hair.
And I did feel safe. I tucked my head in his neck as close as possible, trying desperately to reign in my tears. After awhile the tears slowed to soft streams, then drops, then dry whimpering, as I lay shaking against his comforting body. I'm cold and tired, I thought. But apparently I had spoken aloud, because the next thing I knew Eric's arms had shifted from my shoulders to wrap around in front of me, proceeding to button up the few upper buttons of the shirt.
For the first time I noticed that it smelled 'off'. I brought the sleeve closer to my nose and inhaled. "This isn't your shirt," I quietly observed.
"No. It is not. There is a closet over there that holds business suits and casual clothes of the vampire who's office we are occupying." He finished the last button that he could reach before asking, "How did you know it was not my shirt?"
Feeling slightly embarrassed about my confession, I murmured, "It doesn't smell like you," while unknowingly crinkling my nose.
"This bothers you?" I could hear the soft sound of amusement in Eric's tone.
"Yes." I didn't even need to think on my answer before it shot out of my mouth. It really did bother me. No matter how much I didn't understand the growing feeling of comfort and calm washing over me, I reveled in it. I knew that it was coming from Eric, and I surprisingly found myself welcoming it even more.
"Why?"
Despite my developing acceptance of my feelings towards Eric, this was not something I wanted to get in to tonight. I still needed to figure out some things on my own before I had this conversation with him. "Eric, I'm tired. Can we talk about this later?"
"That is acceptable. But, make no mistake, we will have our conversation."
I sighed knowing that there would always be the dominate Eric. Was I really willing to accept this side? Yawning again, I remembered that I better make good on my offer before I fell asleep.
I turned to look in to his eyes -- which I really shouldn't have done. They drew me in, holding me frozen in this moment. Again, both of us seemed to be searching for answers to so many questions. But, they needed to be addressed at a later time. He needed to be healed, and I for some unknown reason, needed the connection only he could offer. Unsure of how to go about telling him he could drink from me, I simply reached behind my head, pulled my hair off my shoulder closest to his body, and held it behind my slightly tilted head. "Eric," I breathed.
"Sookie," he growled, letting it vibrate under my hand upon his unclothed chest. He reached to replace my own hand that had a hold of my hair, while the other gripped my shoulder. "Are you sure?"
I nodded my head, while moving my hands to his flexed forearms. Instantly his two glorious pointed fangs extended, and I felt anticipation course through me -- more so than normal. Unhurriedly, he bent at the waist, brushing his lips against the lobe of my ear, his voice sending shivers down my spine. "You are an amazing, unselfish woman, Sookie. You surprise me, and I find myself quite enjoying that, lover." As the tingles made their way down my neck and spine, my chest was springing back to life as I felt Eric unbutton the top of the shirt and pull the collar off to the side.
I licked my lips as I felt his own begin placing delicate kisses, intermixed with smooth strokes of his cool tongue, from the back of my ear to the base of my neck. My pulse was racing and I knew he wouldn't have a hard time finding what he sought. "Lover," he breathed against my neck, before I felt the sharp piercing of my skin and the relief that came with it. I had forgotten just how good he made this feel.
I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of every tug on my skin and swipe of his tongue. When I heard the faint growl come from his throat, my grip on his arms tightened before moving up to his wide biceps, and down the muscular bands of his sides. I leaned into him when his hand slid from my shoulder to my waist. The feeling of desire that burned through me was undeniable; my body remembering all the ways he brought me pleasure in the past. I shifted to ease the pressure I felt between my legs, which caused a deep moan from Eric, as I accidentally brushed against his own arousal.
After one last pull, I felt Eric release my sensitive skin from his powerful suction, and place delicate long licks along the location of his bite. "Thank you," he whispered in to my ear. I tried to push back my disappointment that he was done. Instead, I let my head lay on his shoulder as he rubbed my back. It didn't take long for my languid body to give in to the pull of sleep under the comfort and safety of my vampire.
*
*
*
Smoke enveloped me, choking the breath from my body, but I knew I had to push forward. There were too many victims for the rescue teams to search for on their own.
Frantically, I lifted boards and fallen debris, searching for anyone still alive, but secretly hoping to find one vampire in particular.
I could feel the fatigue of my body, but still I pushed forward. I tried to block out the screams of the human minds around me, but a few kept getting through. They were full of hatred, and the visuals that I saw damn near brought me to my knees. I wanted to scream, "Why? How could you be so full of darkness?" But at the moment, they were not my main concern; only he was.
I couldn't give up. I needed to find him. I pushed forward until I could tell I was closer to voids. Hope took place of fear when I saw blond hair peaking out from under a slanted piece of drywall. I made my legs work harder; running to the one I had been looking for. Just as I approached, I noticed my vampire was not alone.
My heart sped up in panic. I knew what the dark haired vampire wanted; and this act of terrorism was the perfect cover up for it.
"Did you really think I would allow him to have you, Ms. Stackhouse? You are a fool if you believed that anyone would sit back quietly and allow your value to be wasted by the Viking. But, don't worry; I will be a kind master." With a evil leer on his face, he picked a broken board and within a blink of an eye, the makeshift stake pierced my brave warrior."
I fell to my knees screaming, "NOOOOO!"
"Eric, No! God, No! Please!"
I felt myself being shaken.
"You can't have me, Andre! No! I will never be yours!"
I felt heavy hands on my shoulders and all I wanted to do was run. Tears were pouring down my cheeks. The hurt and devastation I felt was deep and consuming.
"Nooooo!" I screamed out loud.
"Sookie! Wake up!" Again, I felt the heavy hands shift to hold my head. The feeling of my tears being dried from my face finally forced me to open my eyes.
"Eric?" I whispered. It took me a moment to shake the sleepy haze from my mind and take in the fact that it had only been a dream. I stared at Eric briefly, both of us lying on our sides staring at one another, looking at the whites of our eyes shining brightly in the dark room.
A renewed release of tears flooded down my cheeks. I shook uncontrollably, listening to the sound of my own heart wrenching tears and the horror that had taken me in my dream. In between sobs, I barked out, "He killed you! I watched… him…. kill…. you!
Eric pulled me tightly in to his strong embrace. My head tucked safely under his chin again, as it had been earlier. "I am here. You are safe. Feel my arms around you. No one is going to take you from me, my Sookie." As a I set my nightmare free from my mind, I let his words soothe me back in to a sleepy state.
"Please don't let me go," I begged through my trailing sniffles and drifting mind.
"Never," was the last thing I heard before I tried to find peace in my sleep once again.
When I awoke, I was still in Eric's comforting embrace. And I must say, it felt amazing! This was the first time that I had ever been able to wake next to him during his day sleep. I didn't mind that I couldn't feel the rise and fall of his chest. He looked peaceful, and what mattered to me the most at this moment was that he never let me go. He must have laid with me until dawn had taken him, for we were still in the same positions that we were in when he shook me from my dream.
I cringed at the thought of the nightmare. Last night I could have sworn it was real, and it terrified me to even think that something like that could ever happen to him. I snuggled in closer to him, breathing his distinct scent and letting it fill me with comfort from his nearness.
It actually mad me sad when my body refused to push away its necessity to get up and see to my needs. Therefore, I tried to make it as quick as possible. Following the path of light coming from the cracked bathroom door, only confirmed my suspicions that Eric did not leave me even after I had cried myself back to sleep. I guess I could chalk that up as one more Viking point he would receive from me.
As I made my way back, I heard a slight knock on the door. I jumped back, completely startled at the fact that someone was just on the other side of the door. Panic overtook me. Was someone here for me? Or Eric? There was no way that I could protect him against anyone who wished to do him harm. I waited quietly to see if they would just go away.
After a few seconds, the knock came again, only this time accompanied with a muted female voice. "Ms. Stackhouse? Ms. Stackhouse, it is I, Batanya."
I had forgotten that Batanya and Clovache were still standing guard over the King of Kentucky. I looked around for some kind of pants or shorts to quickly throw on under the long dress shirt I was wearing, but when I couldn't find something fast enough, I decided to open the door anyways. I figured mini-skirts were all the rage right now -- so what the hell.
"Hi, Batanya. How is the king?"
"He is well. He suffered no permanent damage."
"That's good to hear." Even though I didn't know the King personally, I felt for all the victims of this horrible crime.
"Mr. Cataliades wished me to inform you that he has run in to some issues that have drawn his attention away until later this evening. He says that he is sorry that he is unavailable to bring you the clothes he promised. He also told me to inform you that the small refrigerator in the other room holds bottles of water and some muffins left for clients; You may help yourself to those if you are hungry."
"Thank you for informing me, Batanya. A muffin and water is all I really need anyway." To be honest, I wasn't even hungry due to my nerves and the feeling that I still needed a few more hours of sleep.
"How are you holding up, Ms. Stackhouse?" Batanya rarely showed emotions, that I know of, so when she gave me a look of genuine concern, I was taken back.
"Please, call me Sookie, and I'm holding up just fine, thank you. Mr. Cataliades brought me here last night thinking it would be safer for me." I paused not knowing how casually I should talk to the woman not of this plane. She seemed truthful and trustworthy in all my previous interactions with her, so I figured it would be okay. "We.. I mean, I was seen using my gift last night which caused a lot of unwanted attention." I may be willing to speak about my own telepathy, but Barry's was his own secret to share.
"Yes. Mr. Cataliades, informed us all of your bravery. You are a very courageous young woman."
I blushed at her compliment. I didn't think I was brave at all, just doing what any good person should do, and that's exactly what I told her.
"Yes, Sookie. Any good person should do those things, but as you are now so unfortunately aware, most people do not do those things." Batanya had a hint of sadness to her voice as she pointed out the obvious.
"I'm sure you have seen a lot of bad things in your line of work, huh?" I asked her.
"Regrettably, yes. But, most of the things have always stemmed from the same seed."
"And, what is that?" I asked curiously.
"Fear of the unknown." There was no hesitation or question with her answer. And sadly, I knew she was right. I had been in the minds of so many people, and had heard and seen so many things that grew from misunderstanding, or fear of knowing the truth. Hell, look how many people were afraid of me. People I had grown up around my whole life still denied my ability, and many hurt and shunned me for it.
Batanya, must have picked up on my inner reflections. She asked, "With your ability I'm sure that you understand of what I speak of, yes?"
"Yeah. I do." I thought of all the people that didn't accept me -- and those who did. It was funny how most of the people who liked me for who I was all fell into the same category. I shared my thoughts with Batanya. "Although, sometimes I feel like like some people are more accepting of me than others."
"Some people as in, Supes?" she questioned.
"Yes. I guess the Supernatural world does seem to have my back more often than those that I've known for nearly all of my life." I couldn't help the tears that formed in my eyes, threatening to spill over, when I had finally said what had been in the back of my mind for months. "I mean, yes, I've had a lot of problems and near death situations since I got myself involved in the Supe world, but I've always been respected and accepted by them." I thought back to last night when Barry was confessing the reasons behind why he was loyal to Stan. He said that he had never felt more accepted and respected than he did working for King Davis. "Maybe, Barry was right." I added.
"All I've ever wanted was to be put first. To be accepted for who I am and not what I can do. And now, here I am hiding out from the humans that want to use me for what I can do. But, then again, I guess it doesn't make them any different than Sophie Anne, and all the other Supe's who want me for my telepathy."
"Sookie, people --human and Supernatural -- will always want you for your gift. You have something that is rare, valued, and also feared for being unknown. As much as you may not understand and want to hear this, you are a Supe. You just need to decide will you surround yourself with people who are familiar to you, or people that you will call family."
And just like that the ball dropped.
She was right; I didn't want to hear it. But, her statements were wise and rang true. This was a major overload of insight for me. My brain was going a million miles an hour trying to place everything she said with an example. Tara and Lafayette were the only two people in my life who I felt, truly loved me for who I was. That was more than I could say for my own brother. We may have started to try to remain civil around one another, but that was only because of him now being 'other'. It was the only thing really holding us together.
I must have stood at the door, looking down, trying to gather my thoughts for at least a couple of minutes. I was thankful that Batanya, allowed me that time to do so.
"I think I need to go lie down, Batanya. I appreciate you stopping by to check on me, but I'm still tired from all the activity last night." I was tired, but more importantly, I needed some me time.
"Of course. Take care of yourself, brave one."
I smiled and told her I would. Just as I was about to close the door, she made one last comment, "Oh, and, Sookie. It is a rare thing to find a vampire caring for someone other than themselves; even rarer for them to find happiness and possible love." She nodded her head towards the adjacent room behind me.
My heart did a little pitter-patter at her frankness. She had just brought to light what a small piece of me had always hoped for when my Eric had stayed with me. Maybe he was capable of feeling something more powerful than I had ever given him credit for. I wasn't sure of the answer to that one, but I was sure that standing here with Batanya, and not snuggled next to him, I most certainly would never find out.
I smiled and nodded, watching for the first time a small smile spread across her defined features, as I closed and locked the door.
I leaned up against the wooden door frame with my arms crossed across my chest, taking in the man before me. I giggled seeing his large frame pushed up against the back of the modern style day bed, complete with his long legs and big feet hanging off the end. Obviously, he hadn't moved, making me think of what it felt like to be surrounded by his body and scent. I don't know where all these strong feelings were coming from, but suddenly I didn't care.
After drinking the entire bottle of water and eating half of the blueberry muffin from the fridge, I sauntered my way back to the bed and resumed my earlier position. I may have snuggled a little closer, and I may have wrapped his bottom arm a little tighter around me, but he would never know.
Just like before, I traced my fingers lightly over his lips and around the outline of his face. Only a ghost of his injuries remained, returning his skin to the pale flawless form that it was. He really was breathtaking. Next, I ran my hands through his mid-length, wheat colored hair, that so closely resembled my own. I found comfort in the feeling of his hair running between my fingers, tickling them as it slid through.
In this moment of silence and peace, I felt like I was back in my bed at home, lying in his arms like I did every night when he was mine. If it wasn't possible to feel sadness and happiness all at once, then I was pretty sure I had just invented a new emotion. Sadness for what we had, and happiness for the feeling of now. We had our issues -- just like every other man in my life -- but, I knew he stood apart from the rest.
I thought back to Batanya's words and wondered if it would be possible for Eric to ever love someone. I couldn't stop myself from stretching up to press my lips against his. It was in this moment that I knew I missed Eric, more than I had realized. Maybe I had been pushing the wrong person away from me. I fell asleep in the arms of my Viking, feeling for the first time in days… hope.
So, what do you think about Batanya's advice? How do you think Eric and Sookie's conversation will go tomorrow? She looks awfully cozy curled up next to Eric on that day bed right now! Will it last? :p