{The Chains of Love}
Chapter 1~
" Love? It's painful and yet so free..."
Disclaimer:
I do not own Angel Sanctuary.
!Warning!
Has Incest!
Dourly I sat looking intently out the window. Why had this happened? Was this a punishment for something I couldn't control…? ' God.. are you that cruel?' Quickly my fist clenched inward, the feeling of all the blood draining from it, as my nails dug deeper and deeper into my palm. My knuckles where white from the strain, but it didn't hurt, no in fact it was a sort of release, from the anger that was boiling with in me. Every time I heard the silent comment, or whistle of praise it was all I could do, not to launch my fists into their face, and hear the satisfying crunch as it connected.
I knew the thought was wrong, but I just couldn't bring myself to care. My feelings were being pinned up, and I felt like a raging bull, hell bent on destroying those who provoked me. Why was it so hard? Languidly I turned my gaze to my slightly stinging palms, the red that oozed out of the little silted holes where my nails had been, had made me feel excited. Which in turn formed a sadistic smile on my pale face. I wasn't crazy.. was I?
Sighing I unintentionally laced my fingers together mingling the red fabric of my life into my pale fingers creating a red stain. Calmly I laid them beneath my chin, the action seeming natural. I was just staring off into space, my face placid, and haughty. I was trying to block out the noises around me, but my efforts where naturally in vain. Though this was a private, and very strict high school. It was still just that, a high school. There were the loud, and obnoxious, the preps, geeks, and goths, on and on the list went. It felt like I was living in a cheap version of a soap opera. Where I found my self-playing the role of a sinner.. The devil. ' Even if the sin is my deepest desire…the truest part of me…'
Grudgingly I lifted my head back, my bloodied hand rising in an attempt to stop the images from racing in my head. The images were flashing all around colliding and bumping into each other. My body was growing more and more tense with each rather 'tempting ' situation that popped like little fireworks in my mind. A silent groan escaped my lips, my hand hanging over my line of sight, just inches above my now shadowed features. Steadily I took a breath trying to calm the racing whirlpool located in the center of my being. I thought querulously on another subject, my mind finally wondering off. The Japanese translation of my name, it was quiet amusing to me, it turned out that my name was Sinai, Sinai Yuki. The 'Sin' meaning sinner, and the 'ai' meaning lover.. Half hazardly I chuckled, the sound was sad to say the lest. ' How appropriate.. The Sinner of Love..' Quietly I sat hunched against the medal classroom chair, listening to all that went on around me. My eyes slowly fluttering open to be greeted with other than Rini's large azure spheres. Their light shining intensely, the worry in them not hard to see. But my body just reacted with the same intense feeling that made it feel like a concrete building block. Gingerly her tiny hands reached to mine cupping it in hers, my eyes lulling half closed at the contact.
Swiftly I regained control snapping my hand away from hers, my eyes stern and what I hoped looked like a brotherly reprimand. " Rini, Why do you always do that..?"
Quickly I acted as if I were still her brother, as people still saw me. My voice rang it's tones being slightly harsher than I had meant it to be, I had only wanted to seem the aggravated sibling, but the way I had dealt with it hadn't gone as planned. My feelings had taken a hold; it had felt so wonderful, her hand against mine. She only wanted to know I was okay.. ' That's the problem..' My thoughts were colliding with my natural instinct to want nothing, and no one to see me. The 'real' me, the one who was morally incorrupt, the one who didn't want everyone to know his darkest secret, lest of all the cause of all his thoughts, his beloved little sister..
" I only meant.. to" Hesitantly she dropped her hands, her brow pulling together for the slightest of seconds. She was hurt, that much I could tell. Rini not unlike me didn't like to show her self around others, the only slight exceptions to this rule seemed to be Setsuna, Sara, Sakuya, Zeke, Mina, and Titus. Even then she hadn't, or to be more accurate we hadn't told them of our past, our real names, or even our real ages. We were careful and cautious, things never turned out good for us.. never. My 'powers' made sure of that… I had never been a normal kid, and neither had Rini, but it wasn't as if we didn't know it.
" You should really be more kind to Rini, Sinai…" Grinding my teeth I stood barely grazing by Rini and out of my chair, I knew that voice. " Well, could you tell me Sakuya, how is that any of your damn business?" Calmly I stood leaning against the wall my head tilted slightly to the ceiling, with no emotion attached to my features. He was my friend yes, but right now I couldn't handle any sort of contact with anyone at all. I knew soon enough Setsuna, wouldn't be far behind, He was always with Sakuya; it had been that way, I'd guessed even before we knew him. ' Setsuna..?' Yet again I felt that horrible sensation of familiarity, it was ironic in a way that I had a friend that also loved his ' sister ' in ways that shouldn't be. We were both corrupt, but the only difference being that I didn't give a flying flip what my 'guardians' thought of me. Setsuna also had his unusual strengths at times. He had never been sick for as long as I had known him, if he were cut he would heal almost on contact. I knew that our powers, Rini's and mines weren't the same, that is to say they didn't come from the same source. I knew more about Setsuna and Sarah then they even did. Sighing yet again I saw as the familiar set of golden hair swung down the seats stepping to the side, and inclining his head in a 'Setsuna' kind of greeting.
Oh he looked chirper, more than likely another fight with his mother about even coming near Sara. Setsuna lived apart from both his sister and mother, since his parents had divorced. But as of lately he had been visiting, or at least talking to Sara, and as per his mother's nature she yelled and cursed him. She knew what her son felt, if no one else did. She would always know it; the woman seemed to hate her son, her own 'son'! In that respect I was glad that at least my parents could no longer see what I was.. no had always been.
" Oh! I guess some one fell out of the wrong side of earth." There it was Sakuya's infamous 'smart assed' attitude, and frankly I wasn't up for it. Still though I put on an unperturbed exterior still leaning casually against the wall. " No actually I was born that way." I countered his statement with one of my own; I could've come up with much better. But it was all I could say without losing my mask. The masks that I was barley holding onto right now, my disguise, my safe haven.
" Snippy, snippy, snippy!" Playfully he mocked me, his dark brown eyebrows rising in fake surprise. " Really are we grown up's or children here?"
'Another voice… oh joy!' Slowly I turned my head, my golden orbs now following the three that came down the rows of chairs, their faces stuck in nauseating smiles. Did my friends just have an ' Annoy the hell out of Sinai!' sense? They always seemed to know exactly when not to come around. In fact today I felt that I didn't even want to be around any of these disgusting people, my peers. I didn't consider my friends in that group, but that didn't exempt them from my foul attitude
Zeke, Titus, and Mina stood before me, each different but each very irking at the moment. " Lovely more torment.. " My voice was quiet and soft, yet I could tell the hard edge it held, that was from my foul mood and no one else expect for my friends could even hear the hint of annoyance in my tone. Others just thought me indifferent to all, a quiet, stoic, emotionless, and to my damned annoyance heartthrob of the school. Quietly I stood still leaning against the hard surface of the classroom wall
" Oh now Sinai-san don't be that way." Mina stood her face close, too close to mine as she spoke. Many thought of her as the popular girl of the school, all the guys liked her. Her looks, her personality and so on, I just thought of her as a somewhat annoying best friend. Unfortunately she thought of herself otherwise, I was no dummy I knew she liked 'liked' me, but I wasn't interested… or so I thought.
A whoosh of air escaped my throat the noise resembling a sigh, my hands pushed her slightly away, my voice stern yet my face held no emotion. " Personally space Mina…"
She had been my friend along with Zeke, and Titus since our, Rini and I childhood. They all lived at the orphanage, in different wings than us, but they lived on the same grounds nonetheless. The church at which we stayed was a magnificent cathedral, filled with grand architecture, and other things that many would never wish to know… And as long as I lived Rini would never see..
The sound of shuffling feet told me the teacher was now ready to start the next lesson.
So as every one dispersed I took hold of Rini's tiny little hand, a small smile tucked onto my lips as I lead her to her seat. Slowly I slid back into my uncomfortable school desk, ushering Rini into the one next to me. I felt happy for some odd reason to just have her by me. Or course it wasn't odd I knew why I felt that way, I always had known. But I had tried to deny 'it', me for 'her' sack.. and only for her. What did I care for the opinion of others, the only ones that might have mattered died long ago? Silently I adjusted in my seat listening half-heartedly to my teacher's explanation on the theory he was showing. I already knew the answer; it was easy and quite frankly very boring to me. I like challenges; I like to be able to defeat something that wasn't already easy to me. In fact I quite enjoyed fighting, the feeling of adrenaline, of the crunch on contact, and even the blood. The feeling the fighting gave me made me feel high and very confidant.. and oh so pleased with myself. It let me get my emotions, frustrations out.
The sudden motion of the teachers face and mouth moving made me stand, my mouth moving in response my face void of any emotion. Nothing rude or obnoxious when the answer I spoke was right, just nothing. Heaving I sat hearing the whispers and giggles of the girls in the class, gushing on about me being 'perfect', and the angry remarks of the men to about the same, did they think I was death, or were they just that stupid. It didn't matter anyway. Quickly I glanced over to Rini, her face attentively looking at the teacher, as she listened. I knew she too didn't need to really listen; she was just as smart if not smarter than me. As far as the church and the world was concerned they considered my sister and I genius's, way past collage level let alone high school. But the Church had insisted that Rini and I experience school, to prepare us for what ever the world would swing at us. Of course they only forgot to mention that they would be keeping us there until they saw fit.
In the distance I could hear the clear chime of the bell as it rang signaling the end of second period. The pitter-patter of the feet of the students all different as their bodies melded in and out the door made my head spin, I didn't exactly know why but it did.
But upon turning I realized, Rini was standing right next to me her hand slithering into mine, her scent flying towards me as the wind blew her hair around her. I was dizzy because of ' her ' not others, the feelings that were running inside me were so very turbulent and I felt helpless to stop them but knew I had to. Quickly I bit my tongue keeping the groan in that so wanted to escape, shivers of fire ran up and down my skin as I walked with her to the door. I had to stay calm, act as if I was fine like nothing bad was happening inside me. ' It's not bad! These feelings are so..' Struggling as I tried to find a word for it my mind talking to me as I did. Yes I was slightly odd, but it was how I dealt with my problems.
Quietly I lead her to our next class, my mind finally registering that we were in every class together, how it had happened I didn't know. Moving swiftly through the crowds, I could feel my blood pressure rise every time someone accidentally bumped into her, the vibrations going from her to me. Closing my hand around hers even tighter I quickened my steps as we came closer and closer to the gym, our next class.
" Nii-san? Are you sure everything is okay?" Worriedly she gazed at me with those round and innocent ever changing eyes. Shivering from her intense gaze and knowing that she didn't know what she was doing by looking at me like that, I stopped just short of the door, my hand half way to the handle. Turning to her I placed a fake smile morosely on my face, and Rini as always believed it. " I'm sure."
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AN: Sorry for taking so long, but I just haven't had time to post this. Seeing as I did already have it written down.. lol By the way if you haven't already noticed I sort of lied about not doing first person again, after I looked it over again I felt I liked doing it that way, even if I was better in another prospective. And I know this chapter was quite boring but it is leading up to something more. ^^ So if you can stick around long enough with this new and inexprianced writer you'll get your hands full of something unique. lol ^^ Thank you for all who have read my story so far. Don't worry they will get longer the more I get into the story, not to meantino they will be updated quicker hopefully anyway. ^^