Hey, I'm the author. Just a warning, this chapter contains some darker themes that could be upsetting for some people. Also, there is sexual content, so be warned. Please remember that this IS a Jak/Torn BL story and will eventually have them together doing adult things. If you don't like that, then don't read it. Seriously, there's a button to send you back to the previous page, and a button the close the page altogether. USE THEM. I don't want to receive negative reviews on how "jak and Torn aren't gay" or "Ew, why are they having sex" or "Why are the characters so ooc?"…well actually, that last one is ok. Sorry if the characters are ooc or if my writing is bad. Remember, this is just for fun and not a wiki of these characters. I know they aren't gay people…it's a fucking story. That being said, I enjoy comments and receive criticism well (as long as it's constructive and not just inflammatory for the sake of being inflammatory. "this author is a sick bitch" for example, is NOT constructive. I can't fucking use it to make my writing better.)
Without further ado, chapter 2. Enjoy!
As he approached Ashelin's apartment, Torn felt his stomach do about 50 backflips. This was it, he would tell Ashelin the truth, everything that he was doing while they were together, everything he really feels, and everything she needs to know.
He stood outside her door.
…nope…I can't do this. Maybe tomorrow-
As he turned and took one step back down the hall, he felt what seemed like an invisible hand pull him back towards the door. He held a finger over the button that would possible end his life.
No, no more procrastinating. It has to be now. If I don't do this now, I'll lose my nerve. She deserves to know.
He pressed the button, and the loud buzzing noise it emitted inside the Governess's apartment seemed to travel through his arm and strait to his stomach, making him feel slightly queasy.
After a few agonizing minutes, the door whooshed open and Ashelin stood on the other side, dressed in her pajamas and obviously just woke up, "Torn? It's midnight, what are you still doing up-you know what…never mind. It's YOU…you never sleep." She leaned up against the frame of her doorway and sighed, "What do you want, Torn?" She was obviously annoyed, Torn knew her long enough to tell what her moods looked like. He considered just leaving and telling her when she was in a better mood...but he knew if he left now, he would never tell her.
It has to be now.
"Ashe, can I come in? We need to talk."
Ashelin raised a red brow before pushing herself off the doorframe and moving to the side to allow her "boyfriend" in. As Torn stepped into her living room, he couldn't help but notice how…proper…Ashelin's place was. Her apartment looked more like a hotel room that was barely used in contrast to Torn's homey little abode. He always felt so…out of place. It was too clean, too nice, and too pretty for someone as plain and "exotic" as Torn.
Your immigrant filth is mucking up the place.
Ashelin moved to the kitchenette, "Coffee?" Torn shook his head, "Nah, I don't really want to introduce a possible weapon for you to use." Ashelin froze and turned to stare at Torn, "What's that supposed to mean?" This was it. No turning back now. Torn took a deep breath and sighed, "Ashe-"
"Are you breaking up with me? Again?"
Torn's eyes shot towards the frowning redhead. Was it that obvious?! How the hell did she figure it out?!
Ashelin crossed her arms and huffed, "That's it, right?" Torn slowly nodded, "How the hell did you-" Ashelin cut him off with an annoyed sigh, "You've dumped me four times already, and you always do it the same way. You come over at the ass end of the night, wake me up, say we should 'take a break' and then leave all mopey."
Do I really do it like that every time?
Wow, you really are a piece of shit.
Ashelin groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose, "Well, if that's all, I'll just go back to bed. Good night, Commander. I'll see you next month when we eventually get back together." She was pissed. Torn didn't even need to know Ashelin to tell she was extremely upset over this. But, this needed to happen. This toxic relationship had to end, "No, Ashe, we won't get back together again."
This actually made Ashelin stop and caused a look of genuine shock cross her face, "Torn…what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Ashe, I-"
"NO! FOR ONCE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Ashelin's face scrunched up in anger, and Torn had enough sense to shut his mouth, "Four times! FOUR TIMES we've tried this, and every single fucking time YOU break it off only to get back with me a few months later! Do you have ANY idea how emotionally exhausting it is to constantly be given these mixed signals from the ONE person whose opinion I actually care about!?" Ashelin's cheeks started getting red and tears threatened to fall. Torn felt the urge to comfort her, but he knew he needed to let her vent. Years of packing down her emotions and acting nonchalant about their on and off "romance" were finally leaking through the cracks in her mask.
I'm a horrible person.
"I try so hard for you…"Tears freely slipped down her cheeks, but she kept her voice firm and collected, "I tried to give you your space, tried to be a giving lover, I've TRIED to be a good girlfriend. But it seems like no matter what I do it isn't enough!"
She would be so much happier if you died.
"I love you!" Her voice finally cracked, letting a whisper shudder though, "I thought…you loved me…"
"I do love you-"
"Then WHY?!" Ashelin stood up straight, trying to make herself taller than Torn, "Why do you keep hurting me FOR NO REASON!?" Ashelin angrily wiped her cheeks, "Why don't you ever tell me the truth?! I keep asking you what's wrong, I try to help, but I can't if you never talk to me! At least do the decent thing for once and TELL ME THE TRUTH!"
"Ashe, I'm gay."
Anger immediately turned to shock and confusion as Ashelin weakly whispered, "What?" Torn crossed his arms and glared at the floor like it was his worst enemy, "I love you Ashelin. I really do. That's not going to change, but it's not the kind of love I should have. I want to stay in a relationship with you, as friends, but I'm attracted to other men, both romantically and sexually." Torn looked up and let his arms fall to his sides, no going back now. "That's why I never orgasm when we have sex; also, why I always back off when we start getting too intimate. I love spending time together, cuddling, and even sleeping in the same bed. You always make me feel calm and wanted. And I'm sorry that I can't return that feeling."
Ashelin's featured softened a bit. She still looked confused and mildly angry; she opened her mouth to comment, but Torn held up a hand to stop her, "No, no, just listen. There's more I need to tell you." He looked at her face, the image of her puffy green eyes breaking his heart, "I've been having sex with Jinx and Kal behind your back for the past few years. It started in the underground. I was stuck inside the base for a long time, and then during the KG attack, I got stuck at the port. Jinx was with me both times, and we grew close. I've been sleeping with Kal for a few months now since he's always right outside my office. And before you ask, neither of them is being forced and everything we do is consensual, but it's only sex. I don't have any feelings for either of them, and I never will."
Torn began to slowly move towards her. He noticed her tensing up and expected anything from a slap to a stab. "I've wronged you. I've hurt you. I've wasted your valuable time by promising a life that would never exist, at least not in a way that's healthy. I don't deserve someone as amazing as you, but I'm selfish, so-" he stood right in front of Ashelin, only an inch taller than her, but somehow looking smaller, "-hit me. Punch me. Beat me to a pulp. You have every right to. But when you finish, I beg you…please let me continue being your friend-"
The punch broke his nose, as well as the rest of his heart.
Torn reeled back and landed right on his ass. Blood freely poured out of his nostrils over his lips. He looked up at Ashelin, seeing her face full of anger, and another emotion he couldn't identify. The kick was unexpected, especially when it went straight for his groin. Ashelin has a damn strong kick, and it nearly crushed his testicles.
Torn doubled over and curled up in a ball, hands cupping his injured crotch. Weakly, he looked up at the pissed redhead standing over him and managed to squeak out, "….are….we…..good?"
Ashelin crossed her arms and stated frankly, "We're good. And for the record, you're not my friend."
That stung more than his nose and groin combined. Torn went limp and felt his stomach tighten up with hurt.
I deserve it. What else did I expect?
I hurt her really bad.
What made me think we would just continue being friends after this?
You're lucky if she lets you keep your job.
"You're more than a friend to me. You're my brother, Torn."
This…was truly unexpected.
Torn looked up and saw Ashelin's calm face and tearful eyes, and he saw forgiveness written all over her face.
I really don't deserve a friend like her.
As she held out a hand to help him up, she smirked and teased, "My selfish, stupid, and apparently gay brother. And I couldn't stop loving you if I tried, even if it's now platonically. Now get up soldier, and let's get some ice for your wounded pride…and your dick."
Two hours later, Torn sat at Ashelin's kitchen counter, cradling an ice pack against his crotch, and a green eco pack on his nose. Ashelin poured coffee into a cup, then poured a sugary peppermint cream to fill it the rest of the way, "I still don't get why you like this shit." Torn pulled the eco pack away from his nose, as it already stopped bleeding and was nearly healed, and retorted, "I still don't get why you buy it if you don't even drink it." Ashelin placed the cup in front of Torn, "I buy it for you, dumbass." Torn suddenly felt guilty again, and it must've shown on his face because Ashelin immediately softened her expression, "I didn't mean it like that, Torn. It's done ok. I'm fine, I forgive you. I kicked you in the dick, punched your nose, and gave you all my paperwork for the next two months, so we're even. I love you, and I want to keep being friends with you."
"I know, but…" Torn sighed and took a sip of his coffee, enjoying the cooling feeling the peppermint emitted, "that doesn't change how shitty I feel for being…well, shitty." Ashelin shrugged, "Yeah well, like I said, I kicked your dick and messed up that pretty face of yours so…we're even." She smirked and turned back to start making her own cup of coffee.
Pretty face? Geez, is she blind or something?
Torn froze slightly and closed his eyes as a small headache started forming in his forehead. But like a guardian angel, Ashelin's voice saved him from the dark thoughts, "So, how did you figure out you like cocks?" Torn laughed at Ashelin's blunt comment, until his groin began to hurt two second later, forcing him to hiss in pain instead. "Well, you remember how I used to be in a gang?" Ashelin nodded, so Torn continued, "Well, I was with one of our…'escorts', and this big buff guy approached her. He saw me and thought I was on the market. He offered me 50 creds to blow him, and I was about 15 and curious at the time, so I did." Torn smiled a bit as he reminisced, "He had a really nice cock too. Big, thick around the middle, and, thankfully, clean. After that, I just…got hooked." He took another sip of his coffee, "Started experimenting with one of the other members after that."
"When I got recruited for the guard, I used to sneak out all the time to go fuck around the red light district with a couple other guys. We didn't have our tattoos yet, so no one would recognize us. I was…pretty wild back then, and frankly, I'm surprised I'm still alive." Ashelin sipped her coffee and mused, "Too we didn't meet until you turned first Lieutenant. I think I would've gotten a kick out of seeing your 'slutty' side."
For about an hour after that, they shared laughs as memories of their time as first lieutenants surfaced. Suddenly, Ashelin remembered something else, "Wait, so was that rumor about you and Errol-" Torn's face dropped and something else surfaced on his face. An indescribable emotion that seemed like it was used to being pushed down…an emotion similar to a mix of fear, anger, and resentment.
"Yeah…we were…"
A couple…
In love…
Together…
Taken advantage of.
Used.
TOXIC.
BETRAYED.
"…fuckbuddies. That's all." Torn stared into his coffee cup, trying his best to will away the fermenting pain he pushed down every time these ugly memories surfaced. Ashelin raised a brow, "Are you lying again?" Torn shook his head, "Not really but…look, I can't talk about it now. It's…too much. Let's just say, it was one of my biggest mistakes, and I paid for it in the end."
Ashelin was still curious, but decided this was the best place to end it for now, "Ok, I'll let you off this time, but promise me that you will tell me when you're ready. I love you, Torn, and I want to be here for you." Torn smiled weakly, "You really are amazing Ashe. Thanks."
I don't deserve you.
You did deserve him though…
Ashelin set down her coffee and walked up to her former lover…and eternal brother, and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him against her soft chest. Torn leaned into the comforting touch and curled his arms around her waist, resting his cheek over her heart, and listening to the soft beating…
…reminding him that this was real.
That this was the one thing that couldn't be taken from him.
It's been two days since that much needed talk with Ashelin, and Torn has never felt better. Every possible outcome Torn thought would happen were far worse than what actually did. The most he hoped for was for Ashelin to stop speaking to him and allow him to keep his position.
This was more than he could ever hope for. It was almost unbelievable that Ashelin would not only forgive him, but remain good friends with him as well! As Torn lay back in his office chair, he felt better than he did in the past few years. It was as if a weight had been lifted, if only for a little while.
Even the dark thoughts were vacant from his head!
Overall, life was about to get a lot easier for him.
A soft knock on the door jolted Torn from his thoughts, "Come in." He watched as the doors slid open, revealing a nervous man with brown, freckled skin, light green eyes, and short, purple hair curling aggressively all over his head. The man wore a guard uniform with a First Lieutenant insignia pinned on the left pocket of his uniform. The man sharply saluted, "P-permission to speak freely, Commander?" Torn raised a brow, "Permission granted, Kal." Kal let out a sigh of relief and relaxed, a faint blush started spreading in his freckled, brown face, "U-um, Commander? I, um…I have to…talk to you?"
Torn rolled his eyes and teased, "For the last time, Kal. When you want sex, you can just ask, no need to set a mood or anything." He stood and opened the drawer containing his condoms and lube, but Kal suddenly sputtered out, "N-n-NO! Th-that's not necessary! I-I REALLY just wanted to talk!" Torn raised a brow and sat back down. Jinx enjoyed having a conversation pre or post sex, and sometimes even with no sex in mind, but Kal NEVER wanted to talk. He came in, sputtered about in what seemed like his way of asking for sex, and then went back to whatever he was doing. The only time they ever talked was when they were working.
"Okay," Torn motioned for Kal to sit in the seat opposite of him, "What's on your mind, Lieutenant?" Kal nervously stood by the chair and gulped, "U-um…it's about our…arrangement?" Kal's gaze shifted off towards the window, and Torn was tempted to follow it, but he knew Kal wasn't actually looking at something. He waved a hand in front of his captain's face, "Eyes over here Kal, contrary to what everyone thinks, I don't have all day." Kal visibly gulped and nodded. He took a deep breath and said, "Idon'twanttohavesexwithyouanymore!"
Torn's nose scrunched in confusion, "Um…what did you say?" Kal shifted uncomfortably before stating slower, "I don't want to have sex with you anymore." Torn sighed in relief, "Oh? Ok then. That's it then?" Kal looked surprised and slightly confused, "U-um…yeah. You're…not mad, Commander?" Torn shrugged, "Why would I be mad? Kal, when we started this arrangement, I made it clear to you that you were in no way obligated to 'assist' me if you didn't want to. We have rules for a reason. And, if you don't want to do this anymore, you don't have to. However," Torn straightened himself and crossed his arms, "I know we said you could quit with no questions asked but, can I ask why?" Kal blushed a dark red, "W-well, um…I'm actually going to…start…dating someone?"
This was both surprising and exciting news. Torn smirked, "Well, well, finally got scooped into another dom's arms, kid? Congrats, I'm happy for you and whoever this guy is-" "Girl, actually…" Kal smiled sheepishly.
Now, THIS was just plain surprising.
"Oh?" Torn mused, "Sorry, I just assumed you went for the 'gruffer' types." Kal laughed awkwardly, "Yeah well, to be fair, I thought Captain Bailda WAS a man when I first met her." "Whoa, whoa," Torn chuckled lightly and teased, "Bailda? THAT'S who you chose? Geez, you must really like getting dominated." Now Torn was worried that if Kal got any redder he would be mistaken for a tomato.
As Kal tried to sputter out a reply, Torn laughed, "Calm down, kid, I'm just messing with you. I'm glad you found someone. But," Torn's face and posture reverted back to 'Commander Mode' and he gave Kal a stern look, "don't let this relationship affect your duties. You see how I manage sex and work, so lead by my example. Understood?" Kal jumped to stand at attention and shouted, "Sir! Yes Sir!" "Dismissed, Lieutenant." Torn gave Kal a nod and watched as the, now smiling, Lieutenant marched from the room with his head held high.
The second the door closed behind Kal, Torn palmed his face with both hands. He was very happy that Kal found someone who fulfilled him. Bailda is a great soldier. She's smart, loyal, and most of all dutiful.
Though I always did peg her for a Dom…point, Torn.
Point revoked, now how are you going to sate your cock cravings, slut? Jinx won't want to bang your skanky ass any more than he has to.
No…everything was fine. He wasn't the same sex-crazed youth he used to be. He didn't need to use his "fix" as a barrier anymore. He was happier than he's ever been right now. Two wars and a lifetime of struggle made him into who he was today. He was strong, smart, and in control of the situation.
Two days later, he was no longer in control of the situation.
"So, I'll be needin' some time off." Jinx thrusted a few more times haphazardly before finally filling the condom and slowly pulling out of Torn's clenching hole. Jinx grabbed his cigar from the ashtray on the desk that lay next to a panting, sweaty, and very nude Torn. Torn was coasting on the brink of orgasm when Jinx's words somehow connected in his brain, "Wait…wha?" He lazily lifted his head to give Jinx a confused stare, "the fuck you talkin' about?"
Jinx puffed his cigar with one hand and slid two fingers inside Torn's passage with the other, gently rubbing across his prostate, "Were ya listenin' to me at all?" Jinx raised a brow and met Torn's annoyed gaze. Torn sighed as the pleasure from his prostate stimulation rolled across him in pulses, "Well, it's kinda difficult to pay attention to anything while getting your ass pounded after nearly a week without sex. Also, I don't know what you think you're doing, but you better add more than two fucking fingers or we're going to be here all day."
Jinx rolled his eyes, "Fuckin' size queen…" he roughly plunged all four fingers deep inside Torn, earning a soft moan as the brunette arched his back upwards and growled, "Fuck yes!" Jinx shook his head and quickly started a pattern of thrusting, stretching, and grinding his fingers against Torn's slippery walls. After about a minute, Torn finally came into the condom he also wore, having learned from last time. As Jinx removed his fingers and waited for the Commander's breathing to slow down, He sat in Torn's office chair and finished his cigar off.
When Torn finally sat up, he pulled the condom off of his soft cock and made sure to tie it off and wrap a tissue around it before tossing it in the waste basket. "So, what was that about time off again?" Jinx took a last puff before tapping the stub of his cigar in the ash tray, "Ashelin gave me a special mission to Aeropa. Somethin' 'bout researchin' a new type of eco that only appears there; she thinks it can create better shielding tech for the walls." Torn's gave a slight nod and panted, "Yeah, I remember reading that report. It's a hybrid eco right? A mix of two types that can create a completely new type when fused?" Jinx nodded. "But, why send you?" Torn mused, "You're not secretly a sage in training or something are you?" Jinx smirked, "While that would be pretty badass, nah. I ain't got channelin' abilities or much knowledge 'bout eco in general. But I do know tech and explosives, and I'll be workin' as both a representative of Haven and a tech expert."
Torn sighed, "I guess you do know your way around explosives and weapons. But, wouldn't someone like…Jak's girlfriend be a better choice? She's an inventor, mechanic, AND a sage-in-training." The complete package, you should take notes. Jinx shrugged, "Ashelin already asked her, Keira turned her down. She said somethin' like she wasn't strong enough in her studies or somethin'; besides, I've got experience workin with shield grids from my first job." Torn vaguely remembered Jinx mentioning a tech job prior to being Krew's lackey. Plus he did know how to rewire robots and fix generators, so maybe he was qualified, "Alright, I'll get a release form going. How long do you need?" Jinx looked a little nervous now, "About two months."
The room seemed like it was devoid of air all of a sudden. Two months?! Torn gulped and grunted, "Kay…um…I'll put you down for…that long. When are you leaving?" "Are yew ok, stripes?" He was NOT ok. The room started spinning and Torn felt like he had too much air in his lungs, "Yeah, 'm good. Just…really need some coffee; you kinda took all my energy away." Torn flashed his signature smirk before hopping down from his desk and retrieving his pants and boxer-briefs from the floor, "So again, when are you leaving?" Once clothed, Torn grabbed his advanced com unit and pulled up a release form. Jinx looked very unconvinced that Torn was really ok, but decided to drop it for now, "Tomorrow evening."
Torn nodded and tapped away at his device, "K. I'll have the form by tonight. You wanna pick it up here or-?" He jumped slightly when jinx's warm palm engulfed one of his asscheeks. He shot a questioning glare down at the smiling blonde as the latter teased, "How 'bout yew drop by 'fore I leave? It's gonna be a while, 'n I know yew need yer fix. I'll give ya somethin' nice ta tide ya over."
"That's-"
Clingy, demanding whore who can't even last two months.
"-not necessary." Torn leaned back against his desk and continued his lie, "Today was more than enough, and I've actually been feeling the 'urges' less and less since me and Ashe broke up." Jinx raised a brow, "Really?" Torn nodded and continued, "Yeah, I guess our forced romance was causing some extra stress, and now that it's over I don't really need a distraction."
That is the stupidest lie I've ever told him.
"That is the stupidest lie yew've ever told me." Jinx crossed his arms and looked directly at Torn, "Look, I know yew've got issues that ya don't want others ta know 'bout. And I know ya deal with things by having 'em fucked away. I don't need some psych degree ta see that." Torn deflated slightly in the knowledge that his thoughts were a bit more obvious than he thought. Leave it to Jinx to figure out there's some secret I'm hiding.
"Now, with Kal gone and me being unavailable I just…"Jinx took a deep breath and sighed, "I don't want ya ta do anythin'…destructive out of desperation." Torn tensed up and glared at Jinx, "The fuck is that supposed to mean?! I can handle not getting fucked for a couple months, Jinx!" Jinx held u his hands in defense, "Calm down, Commander, I'm just sayin'-" "You're 'just saying' that you don't think I can survive without sex for a couple months, like some fucking ADICT!" Torn stood up, making sure to use his full height to tower over Jinx, "I have sex to get rid of stress, Jinx. I've had less stress now than ever before. Contrary to what you, Ashe, and Kal think, I have restraint and I DON'T need a fucking BABYSITTER"
The room was silent for a bit before Jinx stood up and met Torn's eyes, "I know, Sunshine. Ya don't need a babysitter and yer not a sex addict." Jinx laid a hand on Torn's shoulder, "And I also know that everythin' ya just told me was a lie." Torn froze and averted his gaze as Jinx continued, "I don't know what's goin' on in that pretty head of yers, but I know it ain't stress that ya want to get rid of. There's somethin' else…somethin' darker. And I care too much 'bout ya ta let ya-"
"Get out."
Torn closed his eyes and shrugged Jinx's hand off his shoulder. Jinx sighed, "Torn-"
"I'll send Kal with the release form ASAP, but right now you need to leave." Torn moved behind Jinx and sat in his office chair as he fiddled with his com. Jinx felt like he still needed to say something more, but he knew that Torn wasn't in a receptive state. So, he just walked to the door and left.
As Torn sat alone, trying desperately to finish the release form, Jinx's words screamed inside his head. How the fuck did Jinx figure it out? Was it that obvious? Torn has tried so hard to keep the dark thoughts his little secret. And Jinx just pegged him on every front. He didn't have sex as a stress-reducer; it was to keep the voices away. The ones that followed him ever since he was a child, the ones that only seemed to get louder as time went on, and the ones that became silent when he was shoving someone's dick inside him. Jinx and Kal had been his saviors; had kept the thoughts at a low mumble, but now…
Torn tossed his com on the desk and palmed his face with both hands. It's going to be ok.
I am strong.
I am smart.
I am in control of the situation.
Are you really?
When Torn entered his apartment that night, he started his normal routine. He showered, cleaned himself thoroughly, and got dressed in the night clothes. Before he exited his bedroom, he moved to the walk-in closet near his bed. Behind the clothes was a box nestled into a corner. Torn sat down on the rough carpeting and pulled the box towards him. Haven't seen these in years. Wonder if they're still good. He opened the box, and sure enough, his collection was as pristine as the day he first purchased each item.
Torn rummaged around in the box, nudging aside his handcuffs, ball and ring gags, and riding crops to get to the items he was after. "Heh, what do ya know…" He pulled out s 7 inch vibrator lined with protruding bumps and ridges, "Wonder if…" he flipped the switch and the toy began buzzing fiercely, "Ha! Lumpy still works. Best toy I've ever bought." He turned the toy off and shoved his "toy box" back in the corner before moving back into his bedroom. He sat on the mattress and turned the vibrating dildo over in his hands, "Wonder if you can satisfy me now as well as you used to."
If Lumpy works for me, I may not even need Jinx anymore. Maybe breaking up with Ashe DID help me, and I just don't know it. I probably won't even need Jinx's help anymore.
Enjoy your new boyfriend. It's the only thing that will stick around you, and that's only because it can't run away.
Torn set 'Lumpy' on his bed before sliding his pajama pants down and off. He reached over in his bedside drawer and retrieved the half-empty bottle of lube. This should work. This WILL work. You can try. Torn squirted a small amount on his fingers and laid on is back, lifting his legs above his head and exposing as much of his ass as he could. Talk about a turn-off. He reached between his legs and circled his hole, spreading the lube around before sinking two fingers inside. He thrusted the fingers a few times before adding the third and beginning a stretching motion.
That was easy wasn't it, slut? You can probably shove that fucker in right now with how loose you are. I wonder if you can even get tight with how often you're bouncing on a cock.
Torn grunted as he clumsily stimulated his prostate, trying to ignite some sort of arousal. He rubbed, prodded, and spread his fingers around inside himself, and hoped the first spikes of heat in his belly would be enough to drown the voice.
I mean, it's not like your face was turning any heads. The only good thing about you is your ass, and even that is not worth having to look at you ugly mug and listen to those gross hiphog grunts coming out of you.
Torn yanked out his fingers and grabbed the vibrator, he squirted a good amount of lube in his hand and slicked up the toy before he shoved it inside, feeling it slide all the way up inside him and leaving only the handle with the switch outside. Torn turned over on his stomach and lifted his ass in the air, reaching behind with one arm to grab the handle of the toy and turn the vibrator on.
That's right; present yourself like an animal in heat. That's all you really are anyway.
Torn started the first few shallow thrusts.
Everyone knows that Icers are just above animals anyway. So this should be a natural state for you. An ugly, dumb Icer with no business being loved by his betters, reverting to satisfying himself with something that can't reject him.
He sped up the thrusts, aiming for his prostate and hitting it dead on once he found it.
Everyone you love leaves you.
Everything you do is never good enough.
And no matter what, you will never be able to be with someone who loved you as much as Errol!
Oh wait…that wasn't very much…was it?
With a growl, Torn yanked the toy out and threw it against the wall, breaking it in two. He didn't care though. Dejected, he grabbed one end of the blanket and curled it over his nude form. "Lights off." The dimly lit room turned black in a second, and the Dark thoughts continued their torment even as Torn slept.