Here's the second chapter. i changed this one alot from the last one, i hope you guys like it. it's very hard and intimidating to write.
Disclaimer- I do not own Harry potter!
Ginny stared at Hermione as they made their way out of their dorm.
To everyone else, she seemed perfectly fine, if not just a bit exhausted.
'She always looks tired'
"Morning Gin" Harry and Ron walked out behind them.
"Hey, Hermione" Harry said cautiously, stepping arms length from Hermione, this had become custom. Never get closer than arms length.
"Good Morning Guys" Hermione smiled, trying her best to look content.
Ron slowly shook his head "One of these days, Hermione, you're going to tell us everything" He smiled bitterly, Ron had stopped trying to hide his displeasure at Hermione's distress.
Hermione visibly stiffened at his words.
"And you, Ginny, are going to stop keeping things from your brother" He warned.
Ginny gnawed at her bottom lip, she wanted to tell, Hermione needed them more than ever, she needed all her friends. But Ginny didn't want to break Hermione's trust, she just really wanted to help. 'And I'm all she has' Ginny thought.
Harry stared at Hermione pleadingly, he wanted her to speak too. Her silent sorrow affected him too, he didn't like it.
"Enough of that, lets go eat, I'm starving!" Ron laughed, letting the tension go.
Hermione's stomach churned, she wanted to speak, but at the same time she didn't.
'He'll hurt them! I can't put them in danger...and...he might hurt me again'
Hermione knew her thoughts were selfish, it made her nauseous, everything made her nauseous.
Ron was recounting to Harry and pretty much the whole Gryffindor table his quidditch practice, apparently it was supposed to be funny, the whole Gryffindor table roared to life with laughter.
The sound panicked Hermione, she tried to calm herself down by clenching her fists. She even faked a laugh, she had heard every word Ron spoke and she didn't feel a thing. His story wasn't amusing, he had nearly broke his neck falling from his broom, it wasn't comical, it didn't make her want to laugh.
But it also didn't worry her, and it should! It should scare her that one of her friends was so close to death, she should feel an appreciation to whatever deity looked upon him and sent a speedy Harry to the rescue. And she most certainly was, but she didn't feel it.
'I'm not human. HE was right. I can't feel anything. I can't feel anything'
Hermione tried to calm the hyperventilating, making her chest heave. She chewed on a loaf of bread, fighting the urge to spit it out and break into tears.
'I can't do this, I can't do this'
The Gryffindor's were still laughing loudly. Hermione felt sirens in her ear, the feeling was tightening her throat, making her eyes water.
'They're so loud. So loud'
The Gryffindor laughs died down in her ears, and she could only hear one. Just one laugh, one cruel, malicious laugh, and it wasn't Gryffindor.
'He's here! He's here!'
Hermione's bottom lip started trembling. She heard it, it was like he was right next to her, laughing right into her ear.
Hermione tried to unnoticed put a hand up to her ear.
The laughing got louder. 'I can feel him, I can feel his breath on me...' forgetting about everyone around her, she put both hands up to her ears, recoiling from the imaginary person breathing on her.
'I don't want to hear him! I don't want to hear him!'
He was in her head, his laugh rang through her ears, like he was climbing through them, traveling to appear inside her very skull.
Her sense of smell was attacked next. 'I can smell ...fire whiskey...'
With Her hands still to her ears, Hermione began to cry, shutting her eyes as tight as she could.
'We can have fun...I promise' it was a venomous whisper in her mind.
She began to sob loudly, forgetting the world around her. "No, No. I can't speak! I can't move!" she cried, shaking her head. Her whole body trembling.
The Gryffindor's stared at her perturbed.
Hermione didn't notice them, she was shaking, she was sobbing, her hands were pressed against her ears, eyes shut tight, even so the tears still poured out. But she wasn't there. She was sitting in a cold wet forest, alone.
FLASHBACK
"No, No. No, No, No" She whimpered softly, rocking herself back and forth.
A hand landed on her shoulder.
"NO! NO! GET OFF ME" Hermione let out in blood curdling shrieks, scampering away from whoever touched her.
"Granger? Merlin! What happened to you?!" Hermione heard a voice behind her.
"No! Don't hurt me, don't hurt me!"
"No one is going to hurt you! It's me, Theodore Nott, we have a couple of classes together" Theodore scrutinized the girl in front of him. He looked her over and almost puked, her situation becoming apparent.
"Who did this to you? Who hurt you?" he hissed, enraged at how disgusting, vile and cruel some people could be.
Hermione didn't look up at him, she was trembling and looking around her surrounding for an escape.
"Look at me" Theodore ordered, looking down at her intensely.
Hermione quickly shook her head, making crying sounds in the back of her throat.
"Alright, don't look at me. But I'm going to help you, don't be afraid, alright? Don't be afraid" it was an order.
Hermione finally looked up, the Slytherin boy was going to help her stand. Her eyes widened like saucers "No! No! Don't touch me" she cried "Please, please don't touch me" she sounded like a child, pleading, desperate.
"Granger, let me help you! I have to take you to the Headmaster! Whoever did this to you is going to be in big trouble, they wont make it out alive!" He growled, trying his best to stay calm, he didn't want to scare the already distraught girl in front of him.
Hermione's eyes were glazed over but she shook her head "No. I don't want to tell" her voice cracked.
"You have to tell!"
"No, don't. I can't" she whimpered, grabbing at the ground under her, and flinching, as her own fingers were sore.
Theodore looked down at her, how could someone do this to another human being? How could anyone lack so much compassion.
"If you let me help you, I wont tell" he compromised, this girl clearly needed a lot of help.
"Help me?" She asked, but Theodore took It as an agreement.
He never felt so wrong from using a simple spell.
"Scourgify" He whispered, watching as her clothes were straightened out mended back together. As the dirt lifted of her face, body and clothes. And how the blood disappeared from her nails and legs.
She still had visible bruises on her legs, her hands were still hurt, and he couldn't take away any of her pain, physical or otherwise even if he wanted to.
"Granger, do you still need my help?" He asked.
She shook her head 'No'.
"Can I get you back to the castle, safely?" He offered
She looked up at him, he saw as her bottom lip trembled, she slowly nodded.
He took her as far into the Gryffindor corridors as he dared, it was early in the morning and he didn't want to rouse suspicion, not against her wishes.
"Who was it?" He inquired before he let her go.
"I don't know" she whispered.
"You do" he said aggravated "And you can trust me. But even if you feel like you can't,I'll be watching over you. They wont hurt you like this again, alright?" He stated fervently.
"Why? I'm only subhuman?" She whispered, twiddling with her fingers, she didn't mean to say it, it just slipped.
He looked at her shocked "What did you call yourself?" He growled.
She took a quick step back from him, he really tried not to be aggravated at her. He couldn't be, he could never even begin to grasp at her situation.
"Look, I'm here. I wont hurt you, but you're going to tell me, or someone! Anyone! I know you cant confide in me, you don't know me! But tell me, you'll talk to someone!"
She looked at him and nodded.
"Are you gong to be alright?" He asked, he knew the question was stupid, how could she be alright? how could anyone be alright after something like this?
He wasn't shocked when she nodded and walked to her house portrait.
"I'm watching you, Hermione Granger" He whispered. He was quite suspicious, she had called herself, Subhuman. Theodore Nott was not stupid, he had deduced quite a few things.
'He has to be a Pure-blood. Probably a Slytherin, Pure-blood, who hates Muggle-borns' There really were quite a few candidates, but he had his top three. And he didn't need that, because he was almost sure he knew who it was
.
END FLASHBACK.
"No, no, no" Hermione whimpered, unaware of all the stares she was getting as she bawled her eyes out, tears of complete dismay running down her face.
"She's hurting" Harry shot up from his seat, Ron right behind him.
"Hermione, Hermione?" Ron asked, hesitant to reach out to her.
Harry wasn't, "Move" he pushed away Lavender, who was sitting next to Hermione looking disturbed, and took her seat.
He cupped Hermione's face, her eyes flew open.
"No! Don't touch me" She let out, breathless.
"It's me Hermione, it's Harry. I'm here, I'm here" He whispered, pulling her closer.
Hermione looked into his familiar green eyes, and launched herself into his warm embrace.
"Help me, please" She moaned helpless, Harry could feel the tears soak through his sweater.
"With anything, Hermione. With anything" he immediately swore, setting no restrictions to his best friend that hadn't been herself in a long time.
Hermione shook in his arms.
"What is it Hermione? Please tell us. Look at me, it's me! It's Ron" Ron's voice seemed to crack, he took Hermione's hand in his, and for once in a long time she didn't immediately snatch it away.
"I was- I was" she then looked around her, everyone was watching them, even different houses.
Like a rubber band, she pulled back into herself, almost stung at the way she closed off again.
"You were what?" Harry hissed, clutching her tighter in his arms.
"Not here, not now" Hermione said, wiping away her tears. She looked down the Gryffindor table, trying to spot Ginny, she wasn't there.
Harry and Ron looked at her mystified, she was crying just seconds ago, completely broken down. Now she seemed almost normal, composed, her eyes however, were always lacking their usual luster.
"I don't understand you Hermione. You need us, let us help you" Harry insisted.
Hermione pulled away from him.
"There is something clearly wrong with you, I can see it in your eyes, don't hide from us. Trust us, we're your friends" Ron said.
"I can't...right now. Will you wait for me?" Hermione asked, afraid of the answer.
"Of course! We're here when you're ready"
"But please let it be soon" Ron added "Because you worry us"
Hermione gave them her most convincing smile, tried to control her face as she noticed everyone was still staring at them, she quickly got up.
"Where are you going?" Harry asked.
"To find Ginny" she quickly responded and briskly made her way out of the dining hall, fighting the urge to run as fast as she could.
As soon as she was out of the dining hall she ran. She ran to the library, it was usually empty, except for Madam Prince, and that's what made it safe.
She took 3 deep breaths, trying to control herself before she want in. she leaned her cheek against one of the cold stone walls, letting it cool her down. She closed her eyes, she felt something she hadn't felt in a long time, she felt peace. She leaned her body on the wall, feeling a tiredness wash over her.
"Why, isn't this familiar?" She heard behind her.
She gulped, and tried to control her hyperventilating. 'I need to get away' she thought frantically, pushing away from the wall.
But before she turned to leave, she was being crushed.
"I think I missed you" He whispered softly in her ear.
Hermione felt mute, she couldn't say a thing. But inside her head she was screaming, yelling, praying for help.
She felt him, as he pressed his chest into her back.
Her heart started to beat wildly, she was scared. So scared.
"What was with the show? Hm? Thinking of me, were we?" He chuckled darkly in her ear, nipping at her lobe.
Hermione's face crumpled, she began to cry again, her salty tears stung her raw cheeks.
"I love it when you cry" He said, gripping at her hips and pulling her behind into his crotch
Hermione shook her head. 'Not again! Not again! Not again! NOT AGAIN!'
"Do you want to have fun again? I feel like I didn't get to enjoy you enough last time, come pet" he murmured, kissing down her neck.
' Get him away! Get him away!'
"No!" She breathed, "No, get off me" she spoke, terrified, but also empowered, she had her wand this time.
"Who do you think you are?" he hissed, turning her around to glare at her.
He grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back so he could stare down at her.
Anger overwhelmed her 'I can't and I wont be scared anymore!'
"Who do you think you are? Let go of me!" She demanded.
"you insolent Mudblood!" He shoved her against the stone wall.
"No! You're nothing!" She tried shoving him, she couldn't move him. It reminded her all too much of that night. She felt the fight want to drain out of her, as she was reminded how he physically overpowered her.
"Don't touch me! We've been through this before, haven't we? Want to go over the lesson again?" he asked, a smirk spreading across his face.
Hermione went rigid, and instantly shook her head no.
"Yes, I think we will. You'll enjoy it, no worries. Last time was fun, wasn't it?"
Hermione couldn't speak, she was trapped between the wall and Malfoy, it came back to her in flashes, the last time she was in a situation like this. The moment he had stolen the night from her.
"NO! NO! DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T TOUCH ME" She shrieked at him, she began to pound her fists on his chest.
Draco raised a shocked eyebrow.
"What's the matter with you? Shut the hell up!" He snarled, grabbing her by the shoulders.
"Get your hands off me! Get your hands off me" the hysteria was more than apparent in her voice.
Draco looked at the girl he held and smirked "This isn't because of, lil' ol me, is it?"
she tried to pull away, trying to twist away from him.
He pushed her further into the stone wall behind her, pressing himself against her, wanting to feel every single line of her body against his.
"Granger, Granger, Granger, you're really fucked up, aren't you?" He laughed, pressing his lips to her ear.
"No worries, I'll take you in anyway. You're certainly...entertaining" His lips ran down her ear to her jaw.
"I lied, just so you know" he murmured, continuing his decent, letting his lips trail the soft skin of her jaw line. The girl was violently trembling in his arms, almost in shock.
He pressed himself harder against her "I knew you were enticing, even before that night we shared. It's your fault, you should know better than enticing someone like me...you'll pay for that. You filthy little Mudblood" He hissed venomously, biting down on the soft flesh of her collar bone.
Hermione groaned at the memory pain in her, as he had bitten the exact same spot and made it bleed when he first attacked her.
Hermione twisted her face away and let out a shrill yell as he didn't let go of her skin, he kept biting down on it, grabbing her wrists and pining them against the wall when she tried to push him away.
"You can't do this to me!" She cried, it wasn't fair! It wasn't fair!
"And why not? I've done it before" he stated, releasing her flesh from his mouth.
Hermione didn't know what to say. She didn't know.
Here she stood crying in front of him, begging to be left alone, hurt. He had already destroyed her, wasn't that enough?!
"Why wont you leave me alone?" She whimpered, vaguely wondering why no one had come to her aid.
"Why should I? You're mine to do with whatever I wish" he simply stated, his tongue tracing her collar bone where he had bit.
"No! No! Why can't you get off me! Get off! Get off!" She sobbed, all she wanted was peace. She wanted peace again.
"But I don't want to" he said back, tilting her head up with his finger, and inhaling the scent of her hair.
"So pure. You look like us. Yet, you're so tarnished, because you aren't like us" he murmured, pressing his lips to her hair.
"I'm human! I am human! Just like you! Why wont you leave me alone?! I'm human!" She sobbed out, trying to shove him again.
"No, you're not! How dare you compare us!" He snarled, biting her again. He suddenly let her go. his hands slid down her sides slowly.
"I'll be back" he said threateningly, leaving Hermione cowering against the wall.
She slowly slid down the stone wall and began to cry. 'Why wont he leave me alone? He isn't going to leave me alone! I have to make him leave me alone'
Hermione was so tired of crying, so tired of only feeling fear and panic, she wanted to be strong. She wanted to be stronger than she was.
She quickly got on her feet, biting her lower lip she ran into the library. a safe haven like no other. her peaceful place, the last place she had.
Hermione had read somewhere that sometimes victims became attached to their attackers. she knew she wasn't like that. she shook at the very thought of Malfoy. she wanted to claw off her very own skin when she was reminded that he touched her. Her throat would constrict, she couldn't breath. she was crying.
When the outside world saw Hermione they could tell right away there was a problem. Her eyes were always red and puffy, purple bruises beneath them. once acclaimed the bravest girl in Hogwarts, she looked frightened by her very shadow. that's what Hermione Granger had become, A shadow of herself and no one knew why. Almost no one.
so the tidbit about Rape, i read in my psychology class that sometimes Women become emotionally attached with their rapist, especially if they know them. it's that from the perspective of being the victim, they sympathize with other victims, they can see the victim in their attacker.
I know it's an extremely sensitive subject, but i wanted you guys to understand where Hermione got her perspective on Malfoy, and why.