BarbaraA: I always thought they would have a bit of a funny dynamic if they got together more often; Garrus being Garrus, around Mr. If-You-Can't-Beat-Them-Blow-Up-the-Planet Javik. The comedic possibilities are practically endless.

TheXGrayXLady: I shall! Glad you like them!

ME1

Shepard cackled madly as he drove the MAKO over several geth, and his laughter grew even louder as he sent the vehicle over a precipice to land violently, bouncing and rolling across the ground, crushing the Armatures that had been firing at them along the way. When the MAKO finally settled, he twisted in his seat to look at his companions.

"That wasn't so bad!" he chirped at Ashley and Kaiden, both of whom were pale with terror and clinging to their harnesses.

"License and registration, please." Ashley demanded, holding out her hand stiffly.

ME3

Garrus wouldn't be the first one to fall asleep in the starboard lounge(and since the couches were quite the good quality, he probably wouldn't be the last). But he was certainly the first one to have sleep terrors in it!

However, even in his deathbed nearly a century later, Garrus Vakarian would outright refuse to reveal why he would be having a nightmare about such a thing, and he would never reveal what would cause him to scream out "BY THE SPIRITS, IF YOU DESIRE TO LIVE, DON'T LET SHEPARD DRIVE!"

ME2

Shepard and Kasumi stepped out of the skycar. The theif paused before she closed the door.

"Okay, you sit tight here, buddy! We'll be back, okay." she reassured before shutting the door. She jogged to catch up to Shepard. "Did you turn the AC on?"

"No, Kasumi!" he rolled his eyes.

"Well, shouldn't we at least open a window!?" she gasped.

"What? No, Kasumi; if people see we have a live geth in the car, C-Sec'll be all over us!

ME3

"Fool, you will believe anything!" James could only raise an eyebrow at the Prothean. He didn't get what had happened just now, at all.

"Hey, Javik." Even he hadn't noticed the turian slowly creeping up on the conversation. "Making it up is pretty much what defines most jokes. I mean, I could run in here screaming some nonsense, and it would still be a joke. Like, 'OH MY SPIRITS, FLAMEING WOMBATS ARE ATTACKING! FLAMING WOMBATS ARE ATTACKING!'."

Everyone in the room was now looking at the counter where the screaming had come from.

"See? I don't even know what a wombat is!" he said to further his point.

"Turian... that is idiotic."

Liara burst out of her office screaming with terror and swinging her chair like a weapon. "KILL THEM ALL! WHERE ARE THEY!"

"... I stand corrected. You are a tactical genius."

ME2

"Okay, so, while we're laying cover fire, Tali, you'll-" Shepard was cut off by loud screaming, and everyone in the room went stiff and pale.

"Sorry! Sorry guys, it's my omni!" Jacob reassured embarrassed. "I have it set to this thing from a video about screaming mudskippers, it's actually pretty-"

A shoe hit him in the face, and he shut up after that. Nobody knew where the shoe came from, because the only person standing at the corner it came from was Legion... who obviously did not wear shoes.

ME3

"What makes you think I want to meet your crew, Commander?"Javik asked as he stalked across the crew deck with the human."I am here to kill Reapers; not socialize with primitives."

"If you want to go do that, I at least want you familiar with the ground team. You've already met James and Liara. I think you'll like Garrus; he's our resident sharpshooter. And smartmouth." the Commander insisted. It was only a few days after Manae, so he didn't really know if Garrus was settled in or not-

The door to main battery opened, and a flying wrench hit Javik square in the face. Foreign swearing filled the air. Garrus' head peeked over the smoking Thanix.

"SHEPAAAAARD! WHAT. DID. YOUR. PEOPLE. DO. TO. MY. GUN!"

ME3

"Okay... so how did this start?" Kasumi asked professionally.

"The turian hit me in the face with a wrench the day we met." a drunk Javik slurred. "I knew him for five seconds... and then I knew... he was an idiot."

"So... you drunk yourself under the table because I hit you by accident?" aforementioned turian asked from where he stood with arms crossed.

"Under... what table?" all four eyes blinked in confusion.

"It's just an expression. It means you were so drunk last night, you threw up and passed out on the floor. I think you even ate a lamp-oh, no, sorry, that was Grunt who did that, not you. My bad."

"What... what did I drink?" Kasumi facepalmed.

"Note to self; prothean's and alcohol don't mix."

ME3

A loud whirring sound went through the air again, high-pitched. Again, this time low-pitched. The employee at the desk grit his teeth and continued to smile. A salarian walked up with a child in tow.

"Hello, how can I help y-"

Whhhiiirrrrrr.

"Sirs!" he finally snapped, whirling to face the turian and human in the recliner couch. "May I ask if you find out produc satisfactory enough to take home?"

"I dunno... Shepard, it's your house; what do you think?" the turian asked his companion before hitting the button on the armrest again. He sank back along with his section of the couch. Shepard set his side upright slowly.

"You know... I think it's good." he confirmed with a manic grin.

ME3

"Happy birthday!" Garrus yelled forcefully. He raised his drink. "You know, one of the things I don't mind about humans, is your insistence for throwing a party for everything!"

"More opportunities to get drunk?" Ashley asked.

"Sadly, the cybernetic artery in my neck came pre-installed with some mild toxin-scrubbers..." he told her mournfully, swirling the turian brandy in his cup.

"You think you have it bad?" Shepard accused. "I just drank like, ten shots, and nothing happened!"

"You're both pathetic!" Tali hiccuped.

James moaned in agreement from the couch. EDI strode up the Ashley and held out a package. "Happy birthday, Specter Williams."

"EDI, you shouldn't have!" she opened the present, and immediatly frowned. She held up the bottle of Poo Pourri. "You... really shouldn't have."

"There have been several complaints." the AI told her with a smile as Garrus doubled over with laughter.

For those of you who are wondering, Poo Pourri IS an actually product. It made the only ad on youtube that everybody watches to the end, too... So what I gathered from my... two reviews was that their should be some more Garrus and Javik. Okay, got that then. No trouble in the department for writing Garrus; that guy just kind of writes himself. I thought a drabble about the trauma he endured having to fix the MAKO every day would be appropriate, and that one James-Javik conversation was always asking for a sarcastic interjection, if you ask me.

The second to last one was inspired by a commercial I saw just this morning featuring a couch that let you recline different section of it. I almost immediately imagined what it might have looked like when my Shepard went furniture shopping in the Citadel DLC.

Let me know what you guys thought of these ones! Happy New Year!

Fare Thee Well!