A/N From this point on, my story will create some gaps in the manga storyline, because I am so awesome I can change the workings of time itself. Sakura may be OOC in this one. Action.
Pain
Lee had felt pain before.
He had sprained, fractured, or abraded every one of his limbs at least once since before his academy days. He had lost to Neji – and others – many times, and it wasn't exactly a day at the spa. Put quite simply, pain hurts. Everyone knew that.
But this was different, and far worse. Rock Lee could handle pain to an incredible degree – he would still fight, still push himself, even into unconsciousness.
He had no idea how to handle this curveball.
After his little "episode" at the hospital, the healers had decided that the best thing to do was be as blunt as possible. They told him in no uncertain terms that it was impossible for him to fully recover, that he may as well quit now, because he would never be a shinobi again.
He did not believe them. He couldn't; it was his "ninja way" never to give up, give in. Lee didn't give a spinning leaf how convinced everyone else was; he would fight to the end -- he had promised Sakura he would protect her to the death.
A man should never take back his words.
Hope had approached in the form of the newly instated fifth hokage, Tsunade. The fulfillment of all of Lee's promises depended on her diagnosis, and he was more than certain that she could cure him. She was one of the legendary Sannin, so she could cure anything.
Right?
"It breaks my heart to tell you this, but… you must quit being a shinobi."
That was all. The legendary Tsunade, telling him to give up his life's ambition and purpose and offering her condolences.
It broke her heart? Please.
So Lee left the stony-faced Tsunade and the utterly hysterical Gai to deal with the problem their own way.
And so he'd ended up here, numb from shock, yet somehow still in pain. And so he trained, trained like the man he hoped to become. Trained like a superhero – the valiant warrior he wanted to be – for Sakura, for himself, for everything he dreamed of.
Rock Lee trained like there was a tomorrow.
But even this strong distraction could only last so long. Suddenly, he realized he couldn't run from the truth anymore.
It hit him like a wave, a solid wall of blue oblivion covering his consciousness. There was no more. This was all that was ever meant for him. Rock Lee, the former shinobi. Rock Lee, the boy who couldn't stand up to everything. Rock Lee, the façade.
Because in his mind, that's what he was. If being a ninja was his life, then now he no longer had one.
Rock Lee, dead man walking.
And so he ceased the relentless exercises, there on the training field. All it took was an ache in his elbow to bring him back to reality.
He hurt because he was injured. He was inured because he fought Gaara, and lost. And his injuries were so severe that he would never be a ninja, or himself, ever again.
His mind flew backwards. The Chuunin exam.Naruto, silenced by Kakashi when he railed at the healers.Gai-sensei's face, sunken with worry.The cracked armor of sand crumbling from Gaara's stoic face.Tears in Haruno Sakura's deep sea green eyes.
A flash of pink appeared in the depths of crushing blue despair that rolled over him. Sakura…
… and he remembered the leaves. The day of the second test of the Chuunin exam.
He remembered spiraling downward through the air, reaching out to catch the leaves before they hit the ground. Catch all twenty, and he had a chance with Sakura. Miss even one, and…
"…Sakura will never – never look at me – the way I look at her."
The ground became a sludge of green and brown as his vision blurred, his burning, bitter tears falling and moistening the dust between his fingers.
He had missed one.
He remembered that now. The last leaf had fallen, unimpeded, to the forest floor, and by now it had most likely turned to dust itself.
He was drawn from his reverie by the feel of a softly timid hand brushing his shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" He forced out between clenched teeth, sounding gruffer than he usually did.
"Lee-san…"
Lee twisted around sharply at the sound of that voice. Her voice.
Sakura was kneeling next to him, fingers clasped tightly in her hand, as though Lee had burned her.
Round, dark eyes moved up to capture deep aqua-greens.
"Sakura-chan… I'm – sorry."
Of all the things she had expected to hear, this was not one of them.
"What – why?"
"Because – because I promised to protect you," Lee's eyes dropped back to his arm, as he shifted his weight fully onto it again. "And now Tsunada-sama says – says I can't – "
A breath grated roughly against his throat as he bit back a sob, another smattering of tears falling on his hand.
"Lee-san… what did she say?" Sakura asked timidly. Was it wrong to ask?
Lee didn't look at her. He released his arm, forcing it to bend, pitting every fiber of his will against the temptation to give in to gravity.
"Six – sixty-one –"
As his arm collapsed, Sakura's slid against his chest and shoulders. From her awkward kneeling position, she managed to support Lee's weight. Her slightly hoarse voice sounded from beside him, her sweet-and-sour breath tickling his right ear.
"Please, Lee. Will you – can you stop?"
The phrasing of the question sounded strange to Lee. Not would he stop, but could he? In a way, it made sense. After all, Lee had never given up, even when he was unconscious after Gaara crushed half of his body. She understood that, like so few people did. Right now, he realized that somehow, despite his weird hair and freakish eyebrows, Sakura fully and honestly respected, even admired, him.
"Can you stop? For me?"
Maybe that last leaf didn't matter after all.
endchapter2
A/N: Not sure exactly where to go from here, whether I should continue from this exact moment or skip ahead – AARRGGH, writer's block! Next chapter may be slow in coming.