For fucks sake, people! Hit me with some reviews! Positive, negative, whatever. What's

the point of writing if I don't think anyone's reading?

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It was coming on 1:00 am, and all the ladies with weaker stomachs have already passed out. That means Mist, Mia, and Marcia had were already out cold. (Three M's…hmmm…coincidence? Yeah, actually.) Leanne and Nailah had just finished a bottle of expensive white wine between eachother, and were now just rambling about random small talk. Elincia had managed to find her way through the smoke and small crowd of what could basically be considered the walking dead at this point to the couch on which the two Laguz royals were conversing.

"Elincia! I haven't seen you since the party started! Where have you-" She was cut off by Nailah's graceful introduction.

"Queenie! Where the hell've YOU been?"

"Um… well, Lethe said she had something to show me and, well, she just wouldn't let me leave…"

"Like hell, bitch!" Lethe walked in from the other room, reeking of grass.

"She was the one that kept telling me that the 'bag doesn't close,' and when I wanted to stop, she called me a pussy!."

Nailah laughed her ass of at the irony of the last statement.

"You were the one who wanted to get blazed!"

"Well, I didn't expect you to be a dopefiend! Your supposed to be a queen for fucks sa-"

"Hey! You're a queen, I'm a queen, were all fuckin' queens here! Why can'ts we jusht get along?" Was Nailah's attempt at peaceful diplomacy.

Eyes darted back and forth. How is it that such a fun and lighthearted occasion come to a bitter bitch-fight?

"You're right." Lethe said, trying not to spoil the mood. "I recommend we patch things up… over a peace pipe."

Nobody objected to the idea. But just as they all sat down on the couch to begin preparations…

-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK-

"The hell…?" Lethe mused, putting her bag away just in case.

"Who could it be this late at night?" Leanne said, announcing what basically everyone was thinking as she stumbled slightly to the door.

She opened the door to be met by two tall ebony-clad guards who walked right into the house. They were both wearing standard light guardsman armor and dark helmets that obscured their faces.

"We were getting some noise complaints coming from this address… Care to explain?" Said the taller, more imposing guard.

'Shit… it's the fuzz… that figures.' Was Lethe's basic thought process.

The shorter walked around a bit, noticing the sleeping party guests. "Looks like a pretty wild time…" he stopped for a second and took a deep breath.

–Sniffff- "You smell that, V?" he said, referring to the not-so-subtle stench of burned herbage.

The big guard nodded ominously to his partner. Lethe began scanning the surrounding area for a blunt object heavy enough to knock someone out in the back of the head in one swing.

"You know what this means?" he turned his head to the shorter but still well built guard who was making his way to the table, pulling something out of his pocket. He fiddled with something sitting on the table, turned around and looked at all the ladies with a sly, toothy grin. Leanne had taken a seat, already ashamed and starting to regret the whole party idea.

"I sure as hell do…" the big, dark-skinned guard towered over Leanne, unable to do anything but look up at him. She was about to burst out apologetically, but after looking up at his face, she gasped in surprise. Suddenly, the boombox on the table started blaring the "Party boy" song. In perfect unison, the two guards announced: "We're gonna have to take you bitches… downtown!"

The two guardsmen tore their shirts off and tossed their helmets, dancing seductively around Leanne. She couldn't believe it.

"R-r-ranulf? Volug?!" The two looked at eachother and smiled. Nailah couldn't hold it in anymore. She busted out, laughing hysterically. Leanne looked over at her supposed 'friend' in complete shock.

"Y-you put them up to this?!"

"Hey, she offered good gold. What hell were we gonna say, no?" Ranulf smirked, tearing his pants off revealing a light blue Speedo. Volug followed suit, sporting a black tuxedo man-thong. All of the color had officially drained from her face, as said face was mere inches away from Ranulf's thrusting manhood. Elincia was in similar shape, but with a crimson blush painting her cheeks. Queen Hatari had just managed the strength to take a breath.

"I… I'm sorry… hahahaha!" she couldn't help it. All these years of waiting for the perfect opportunity and she finally had it. It was well worth all the gold she had sunk into her devious plan. Leanne looked over to her when she had finally calmed down.

"Just… how much did you pay them?"

"Enough." said Volug, licking his lips.

"Sooooo… how bout a dance, cutie?" Ranulf didn't give her time to respond as he grabbed her arm and pulled Leanne to her feet. They huddled her into a man-sandwich, giving her no room to escape. This only brought Nailah back to her laughing fit.

"Hey, ease up a little! You have any idea how much I'd pay to be in your position right now?" teased Lethe, most people not realizing she wasn't joking. After deciding Leanne has had enough, they split up and tended to others in the group. Ranulf approached Lethe, stretching his legs across her as she sat.

"So, this your first time, sweetheart?" he said teasingly, his trademark grin stretching across his face.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing." She said, slipping some currency into his one article of clothing. Volug approached his queen, already knowing she wasn't going to let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity escape her grasp. She reached in her pockets for some gold.

"Careful, little lady. I may be carrying a… concealed weapon." She couldn't believe he actually said it with a straight face. She grabbed him by the hips and pulled him closer.

"I paid very good cash for this." A seductive smirk came to her face.

"I expect to get my moneys worth." She grabbed his choker and pulled his lips down to hers. Grabbing both her legs, he pulled her whole soft, supple body against his rock hard, chiseled frame. She straddled his waist with both legs, still not breaking the deep kiss. Feeling eachother very intimately, they could both feel they were so ready. Volug, still drunk and high, carried his drunk and high queen to the bedroom, with no plans to stop sucking on her tongue in the near future.