He took her elbow to steady her as he her helped her into the back of the Rolls-Royce, instantly regretting it as the feel of her silken skin sent shivers racing down his spine. He was still recovering from the overwhelming nearness of her as he'd done up her zip and there was a lump in his chest as he climbed into the car, seating himself as far away from her as he possibly could. It made no bloody difference though; her perfume filled the confined space, rendering him almost dizzy with longing. He undid the window a fraction, closing his eyes and letting the cool air wash over him. Why the fuck had he said yes to this?

Gene cast his mind back to the night in question. They'd been drunk; every last one them, even Shaz who was normally a model of good behaviour when he was around. Alex had joined them; a rare occurrence these days since she'd transferred to the Yard. If it wasn't for then fact that she was still living in Luigi's flat, they wouldn't have seen her at all any more. She'd moved on and was usually working late, or out wi' lover boy, but sometimes, if they caught her in the right mood, she'd join them, and sit at their table, getting slowly rat-arsed whilst putting the world to rights.

Sometimes, if he got drunk enough, Gene could forget that things had changed between them; could kid himself that they were still a team. He could even forget that she wasn't his any more, at least he could until he caught sight of the diamond ring on her left hand, it's sparkling presence smugly announcing that he'd missed his chance, that she was with another bloke now.

It was Shaz who'd started it all. They'd been discussing the wedding; who was invited, what colour the flowers were, all the ridiculous claptrap that women talked about when one of them was getting married. He'd been pretending not to listen, staring drunkenly at the table with his hand on his chin, savagely wishing that the whole of Oliver Ryecroft's poncey-arsed family could be stuck by lightening for dragging Alex into their toffee-nosed world.

"So who's giving you away?" Shaz had asked, ever curious about Alex's strange background.

Alex had shrugged expansively, turning her mouth into a drunken grimace. "No-one," she'd slurred. "Haven't got anybody. Give myself away."

"Oh you can't do that!" Sahz had been horrified at the very thought. "There must be someone you can ask?" She'd looked round the room and he'd sat very still, hoping that she wouldn't notice that he was still there, lurking in the corner on his own. His wish had gone un-granted as her eyes had lit up at the sight of him.

"The Guv'll do it! You've known him long enough!" Shaz had beamed with pleasure as she'd leaned across from their table. "You'll give Alex away, won't you Guv?"

He'd watched Alex's face as she'd realised what Shaz was doing; her expression of horror had said it all and his heart had twisted with a combination of shame and anguish.

"Don't be bloody ridiculous Granger!" he'd snapped furiously to cover up the pain. "DI Drake doesn't want me to give her away! Her wedding is a proper classy do; dead posh, and full of toffs like her. She won't want me there cluttering up the place." He'd gone to leave them to it, desperate to find somewhere else to sit, but Alex's hand had reached out barring his way.

"No….. Gene. You're wrong, actually. I would like you to give me away……." She'd gazed at him, her eyes huge in the dim light, but Gene had been able to see nothing but an oddly polite defiance in them. "…..please," she'd added, and with that he was lost. Alex never said please, not if she could help it, and as she'd uttered that one word, he'd been unable to do anything but nod his assent. A part of him had reasoned that if he could manage to do this one thing for her, then maybe it would mean that he was over her and he could find some solace in that realisation. He'd opened his mouth to try and talk to her about it, but he'd suddenly been engulfed by five foot, four inches of drunken, giggly blonde, hell bent on dragging him from the restaurant, and the opportunity had been lost.

Now, as he sat in the car with her, the City streets passing unseen before his blank gaze, he found himself going back over it all, the whole painful, heartbreaking mess that he'd made of things. How had he let her get so far away from him that she was marrying another man? Fear, he thought, feeling his mouth twist into a bitter scowl. Fear of losing her, and more fool you for giving into it, he berated himself, because you ended up losing her anyway.

He sneaked a glance at her, taking the opportunity to drink in the sight of her when he saw that her gaze was turned away from him as she stared from the car window. She was so beautiful, so unbearably, terrifyingly beautiful and he knew that he'd never stop feeling that way about her. He'd lost a part of his heart to her the moment she'd arrived in his life, in that bloody fur coat and ridiculously short skirt. She'd just swept in and turned his whole existence upside down, and as much as he'd fought it, he hadn't stood a bloody chance.

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She brushed her elbow with her fingertips, feeling the goose-bumps where he'd fleetingly touched her. She swallowed, feeling the lump in her throat as she did so. She wanted to open the window, but she knew it would mess up her hair so she sat quietly, holding herself away from him, trying not to breath in the scent of him. It filled her senses; cigarettes and whisky, and a hint of spices and citrus from his aftershave, making her ache with a need that she thought she'd managed to banish long ago. She bit her lip, remembering the scent of him, fresh from the shower, the feel of his skin under her hands. Christ! Why had she asked him to do this? It had been a bloody stupid idea and she'd only done it to try and prove a point.

They'd been at Luigi's, talking about the wedding and he'd just sat there, not saying a word, not at all bothered that she was getting married. She tried not to spend as much time with them all, now that she wasn't a part of the team any more, even though she missed them desperately, but sometimes it was impossible to resist pulling up a chair and pouring a glass of wine. Oliver had twice suggested that she'd move in with him before the wedding, but she'd refused. Luigi's was her only link with her old team at Fenchurch East, her only link with Gene, and she wasn't ready to give that up just yet.

When Shaz had asked Gene to give her away, she'd been horrified. It wasn't Shaz's fault, she wasn't to know what had happened between them, but Alex had been mortified that he'd had been put in such an awkward position. She'd heard his sarcastic reply about toffs and she'd been hurt that he'd automatically assumed that she'd reverted to type, all Pony Club and Pimms on the lawn, just because she was marrying a Consultant Surgeon.

She'd suddenly realised that she did want him to be there; needed him there, if she was absolutely honest. The Ryecroft family could be more than a little overwhelming en mass. More importantly, if Gene said yes, then she'd know that he really was OK with her marrying Oliver and she'd be able to move on, in the certain knowledge that he didn't want her any more and that there really was no going back.

She'd put her arm out to stop him leaving as she'd asked him and for one terrible moment she'd thought that he was going to refuse.

"Please," she'd said.

Alex closed her eyes in shame at the memory of that one word. What choice had she given him, really, begging him like that? He'd just nodded, abruptly and then Lisa had appeared, drunk and giggly, all ready to go clubbing, and that had been that. They'd never really spoken about again, and now, here they were, on the way to her wedding.

She risked a quick glance at him and seeing that he was staring from the window, she gazed at him, talking in the set of his shoulders, the jut of his cheekbones, the beauty of his hands as they rested on his knees. God, he was so handsome, so beautifully masculine in the rare way that some men were, without ever being aware of it and she knew, no matter what, that heart would always melt at the sight of him. It had taken a while, but she'd finally fallen under his spell, and try as she might, she'd been powerless to resist him at the party when he'd finally given her a hint about how he felt.

After Luigi had taken the photograph, Gene had continued to hold her close and as he'd gazed at her, she'd given in to her instincts, leant forward, and kissed him. It had been only a whisper of contact, her lips brushing his, but it was all that he'd needed. He'd leaned down to murmur in her ear as he'd pulled her closer to him.

"I can't kiss you back, Alex. Not here. Too many people." His gaze had tracked from her eyes to her mouth, making her tremble with desire. "I want to though," he'd murmured.

"Really?" she'd replied, unsteadily.

"Oh yes. " He'd moved closer, pushing her back against the bar and she'd felt the length of his body pressing against hers. "I want to do more than just kiss you." The meaning in his silver/blue eyes had been perfectly clear and the words had tumbled from her mouth, without thought or fear of the consequences.

"I'm going upstairs. I'll see you there in ten minutes." She'd hardly been able to walk from the restaurant her legs had been shaking so much. He'd only managed to wait for just over five before she'd heard him knocking at the flat door. As she'd opened it, he'd taken her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, again and again. It had been an oddly tender gesture, she'd thought later, at odds with the sheer overwhelming lust that they'd felt for each other. She'd ripped his shirt open with fumbling, shaking fingers and his kisses had changed, becoming fiercer, and harder, his hands tugging at her clothes as they'd fallen onto the sofa together.

There'd been no attempt at finesse, the first time. They'd been too desperate for the taste and feel of each other to even shed all of their clothes. They'd just fucked, hard and fast, their harsh and ragged breathing mingling with their moans of pleasure. As he'd pushed up inside of her, she thought that she would melt with ecstasy and she'd whimpered in satisfaction, crying out as he'd made her come. He'd followed soon after, spilling into her with a grunt, clutching her to him.

They'd lain there, still entwined while they'd recovered and she'd been scared that she'd done the wrong thing, that she'd made the fatal mistake of letting him have her, and that now he would leave and it would be over. She'd tried to hold the memory of them both at that moment, needing something to remember him by for the next time she lay awake in her bed, tormented with need for him.

He hadn't moved though, continuing to hold her so tightly, his face buried in her neck and she'd heard him whisper her name. It was only the merest breath of sound, but it had given her the courage to take his hand and lead him into the bedroom to continue their journey of discovery, taking the time to explore each other slowly and thoroughly.

What Alex had discovered was that they were perfect together. Her body reacted to Gene's, in way that it had never had done either before or since. It was a revelation to her that he could make her feel like that, that he could be such a different man underneath all the temper and conceit. No matter what else she may feel about the way things had turned out, she would always feel privileged to have seen that side of him.

The car slowed, coming to halt in front a huge crane that was angled across the road, blocking it completely. The driver wound down his window as one of the men at the entrance to the building site approached him.

"Won't be too long, mate. We're just unloading these RSJ's and then we'll be out of your way."

He looked in the back at Alex, grinning as he took in her wedding dress. "I promise you won't be late, sweetheart. Congratulations, anyway. You've got a nice day for it."

Alex smiled, wistfully. "Thanks."

Beside her, Gene shifted impatiently, sighing in exasperation. "Can't you go back?" he queried curtly to the driver.

"Not now, I can't. Look at the traffic behind us."

Alex craned her head round and saw two huge lorries sitting patiently in the queue behind them, obviously waiting to get into the site when the crane had gone. Behind them stretched a line of cars.

"Oh for Christ's sake" she heard Gene mutter viciously and she turned her head away, misery washing over her as she blinked back the tears that suddenly welled in her eyes. It had been clear from the minute she'd seen him in Luigi's that he was obviously regretting the decision to be involved in her wedding and she wished that she'd never asked him in the first place. She'd completely misread the depth of the new relationship that they'd somehow managed to carve out of the mess of their old one. It was her fault entirely; A part of her needed him in her life and she just couldn't let go, not even after all this time, not even now that they'd both moved on. She sat back in her seat, worrying at a fingernail with her teeth, lost in her memories.

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He knew he'd done the wrong thing the minute the words had been uttered. Shit. Now she was angry because she thought he didn't want to be here with her. He could tell from the way she turned away from him in a huff. Ironically, nothing could be further from the truth. He wanted to be with her all the time. It never mattered where they were or what was going on, he just wanted to be where she was. He needed her in his life, more than anyone he'd ever known, and he wasn't prepared to let her go. Hence his willingness to humiliate himself, all dressed up in this ridiculous morning suit on his way to deliver her into the arms of another man.

He'd walk through fire for her. There had never been any doubt in his mind about that. He'd defend her with his life, kill any one who tried to hurt her, but ultimately it had been him that had caused her the most hurt. He could willingly take a bullet for her, but he hadn't been able to commit to her. Hadn't been able to make a life with her. Admitting to the world that he loved Alex Drake had been more frightening than the prospect of a bullet in the heart and now he was paying the price for his cowardliness.

He'd thought he'd imagined it when she'd kissed him at Chris & Shaz's engagement party, thought that he'd had far too much to drink, but when he'd seen the look in her eyes, he'd realised that it was all very real, that had Alex wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

Climbing the stairs up to her flat, unable to wait at the bar a moment longer, he'd almost convinced himself that she wouldn't open the door to him, and when she had done, he'd been overwhelmed with relief, taking her face in his hands and kissing her, as if he could tell her how he felt about her without any words. Then desire had taken over and he'd wanted her so badly that he could hardly stand. He hadn't been gentle, ripping her clothes from her, desperate for her, but she hadn't seemed to mind much as she bitten at his bare shoulder, her nails raking at his back as she'd arched against him. When he'd slid inside her for the first time, he'd thought he'd died and gone to heaven. He'd dreamed of that moment so often and now it was real; she was real, moving against him, convulsing around him as she came.

Afterwards, as he'd lain there, gasping for breath, he'd been terrified that it was over, that she'd send him away, now that she'd had him. He'd held her tightly, breathing in the scent of her, trying to imprint the feel of her incredible body on his memory, so that he'd have something to treasure on the long, lonely nights when he lay awake, wracked with longing for her.

Eyes closed, lost in the sensation of her, he'd whispered her name, and remarkably, she'd taken his hand and led him to the bedroom, where they'd begun all over again, slower and deeper this time, letting him discover everything about her. She'd had been unlike anything he'd ever experienced before and he'd been shaken to the core at how much he felt for her, how good they were together. Alex had been softer than he'd ever seen her, all the aggression and pushiness that she displayed at work had vanished to be replaced by this loving, sometimes vulnerable woman. He would treasure that for the rest of his days, the side of her character that she'd revealed to him, the trust that she'd placed in him.

He sighed, rubbing a hand across his face, wishing that he had the power to change things, wishing he'd had the courage to tell her how he felt.