Lawls it's the next chapter it's so KAWAII REALLY Review lots peeps! -Smooches and kisses- xoxo lololols!
READ ON!
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Chips of the Cookie:
Chapter
2
Many days since the last chapter's end…
Lloyd got a letter in the mail. The NINJA mail. Sheena bounced Natsu on her lap as Lloyd tore open the letter and scanned the contents. It read thusly:
"Dear Lloyd (all the LloydxYggdrasil/Mithos fans giggled at the fact that Lloyd was called "Dear".):
I have kidnapped your poor excuse for a wife. If you want her back, give up your new wife to me! We will make the switch at an abandoned building that I will pick at random. Meet me there in two hours, Lloyd. Two houuuuuuuurs…
Very Sincerely, Yggdrasil (Yet more giggles, as "Very Sincerely" could also be read as "Love".)."
Lloyd scratched his head as he read the letter, "Who's my poor excuse for an old wife?" He asked Sheena, who shrugged, "I don't think I remember anything like that…" Yggdrasil, who was peeking in from the same window as last chapter, cursed to himself. He should have known Lloyd was too stupid to remember Colette existed. He decided to take matters into his own hands…
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"You're free to go," Yggdrasil said as he arrived back at his super secret hideout. Colette blinked, Jessica under one arm and an oven mitt on her other hand.
"That's nice!" She said, smiling as Jessica cooed and chewed on the Derris Emblem. Yggdrasil had given it to her because she was teething and he wanted to relieve the pain for her somehow, "Those cookies are still in the oven! I don't want them to get burnt!"
Yggdrasil growled as he released the angel and she flew away home. It was time for plan B…
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Meanwhile, at Mizuho…
Lloyd was making the bed after waking up from a rousing night of lovemaking with his wife. The moment it was completely made, Sheena walked up and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Wow… You could bounce a gald on the bed sheets. They're so tight!" Lloyd suddenly grabbed his wife upon hearing the word "tight" and ravished her, messing the bed up yet again.
Halfway through the lovemaking, Lloyd expected Sheena to begin her usual calling out of Zelos' name, but it didn't come. He suddenly looked around the bed and realized she wasn't there! He blinked as he wondered what the hell he was doing in the bed all by himself all that time…
He suddenly saw a note on the floor and picked it up, tearing it open and reading the contents. It read thusly:
"Dear Lloyd (Yet more giggling):
I have kidnapped your other poor excuse for a wife. If you want her back, finders keepers, losers weepers! I am keeping her in an abandoned building that I have picked at random. In two hours I will have forced her to revoke the pact with Origin. Two houuuuuuuurs…
Very Sincerely, Yggdrasil (All the other fans groaned as they heard yet MORE giggling)."
Lloyd cursed. How could have Yggdrasil been such a leet ninja as to kidnap Sheena while they were making love!? He'd have to get the Half-Elf to teach his other Mizuhoian subjects the art of leet ninja looting. Yet first he had to find that randomly picked abandoned building. He crawled out of bed, applied his cloths, strapped on his swords, and rushed out past a screaming Natsu who was hungry for milk.
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One hour and fifty-five minutes later, Lloyd finally came to the last abandoned building in all of Tethe'alla/Sylvarant. He rushed inside and shouted through the dark building, "Yggdrasil! Come and face me!" He shouted, "Finders keepers, losers weepers! I own this building now including Sheena who is also inside as well!"
"You lose, silly boy," Yggdrasil said, stepping out onto an inside balcony to look at Lloyd, "Sheena's actually at my super secret hideout. The only thing you own now is me!" (More giggli… oh, you know…)
"Oh yeah! Well what if now that I own you I can tell you to let Sheena go!" Lloyd said, "Didn't think of that, eh smart guy?"
"Too late… Two hours are up!" Yggdrasil proclaimed, "She is now ready to revoke her pact with Origin!"
Lloyd gasped, "What have you DONE to her? What kind of TORTURE have you made her ENDURE!?"
"I stuck her in my cold dungeons without giving her extra cloths," Yggdrasil replied filing his nails and blowing the excess off, "After two hours; ANYONE would revoke ANYTHING for some cloths."
Lloyd dropped to his knees, "NOOOOOOO! Damn you! Damn you to HELL!" He shouted, "Just think of how prongy her love prongs must beeeee!" He then dropped to the floor, a broken shell of a man.
"And now, the pieces are all falling together!" Yggdrasil proclaimed, taking the Eternal Blade(s) for himself as Lloyd curled into a fetal position, sucked his thumb and rocked back and forth, "I may not be able to kill you with the blade, but I can kill you with a well aimed Holy Lance (There wasn't any giggling now, just death by nosebleeds)!" He raised his hand and formed a psychedelically rainbow colored lance in his hands, and was about to thrust it in the man's cranium, until he heard a cry.
"Noooooo! Lloyd!" Someone shouted, "I told you not to die before meeeee! My sooooooon!" Kratos rushed in the way of the thrust, taking the spear in the… the chest… yeah…
"Kratos noooooooo!" Lloyd shouted, catching his father as the man fell into his arms (As all the LloydxKratos fans go "Awwww!"), "Kratos… Kratos…"
"Yes… my son…?" Kratos murmured, clutching the lance that penetrated… his chest… Yeah…
"Kratos…" Lloyd cried. He then made an entirely confused face, "How the hell did you get down here?"
"Nothing…" He replied as he took a painful shudder, the penetrated lance in… his chest… making him bleed bodily fluids… all over… the floor… "Can separate… a father… from… his son…" His eyes rolled in the back of his head, and he breathed… no more (and all the Kratos fans cried very sadly)…
Yggdrasil laughed, "That has gotta be the most fruity scene in all of this fandom!" He proclaimed. Suddenly he was serious, "Now that that's over, I will be off to reclaim the pact with Origin. See you lovebirds later!"
"What about Sheena?" Lloyd asked, dropping his father's corpse to the ground unceremoniously, standing to face his enemy, "You'll return her to me, won't you?"
Yggdrasil thought long… and hard… and finally said, "Nope, I'm thinking if she catches pneumonia it'd be fun watching you treating her by her bed as you hope in vain to be able to sex her up again." He then flew into the sky and disappeared.
"Damn you! Damn you, you bastard!" Lloyd shouted, stepping on Kratos' body so he could shake his fist closer to the gods, "How the hell am I supposed to treat her by her bed as I hope in vain to be able to sex her up again if she's not HERE!?"
Sadly… there was no response… and Lloyd sat on the cold floor to cry, "Sheena… I'll never see you agaiiiin…"
"Actually, you will," Yggdrasil said, dropping out of the sky to deposit and very naked and very tired Sheena on the floor, "Thank goodness you shouted that before I was out of super-sense-heightened hearing range, otherwise I would have forgotten all about that little tidbit. See you again!" and he disappeared yet again.
Lloyd realized that Sheena needed some cloths, so he took off Kratos' cloths and put them on her so she would be warm. She then awakened and looked deep into her lover's eyes. Then she sneezed.
"Dammit now you've got pneumonia again!" Lloyd growled, "You know, 75 percent chance to die is a BAD thing, you know."
"It's your fault," Sheena muttered, wrapping the dead man's cloths around her, "You were the one stupid enough to allow me to get kidnapped while we were having sex."
"Not my fault Yggdrasil has such leet ninja looting skillz," Lloyd grumbled in response. The two then locked lips and ravished one another. Then they went home.
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After returning home, Lloyd placed Sheena on her bed. Natsu's cradle was (not surprisingly) empty, as Child Protective Services had waltzed right in, picked her up, and teleported away in a puff of smoke. Lloyd held Sheena close to him, and whispered that it was going to be okay…
It was at that moment that Yggdrasil took over the planet.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Thanks for reading everyone. Hope you liked it so far!
Zomg everytime you review, I'll put a sexy pairing in! You know you want GenisxAnna! lololol!
I won't continue until I get 1000thousandbillion reviews and everyone who hates this story never understands TRUE ART. ART HATERS.