AA/N: As far as i concern, this is my best received debuting fanfic. Ha! I knew turning yourself into a hot lesbian would be a thing! Hot Lesbian Action for the win!

Eh...nothing's wrong with that, right? What, no! Eric Bischoff said that first!

Anyway, don't worry, T-B-R and anyone else who wanted it. There will be lots of weird sexual tension just for the hell of it. And Israfel special moment would happened at least once. Hohohohoho!

Relax, sire. Relax. You know who you are. The man who won't give a fuck to danger, and may had a laugh while facing on it. You're the most courageous in your family. Well, more likely the only one who wasn't scared of ghost earthquakes, but still. So why should i be so scared and nervous?

Then, i slapped my head. Of course i'm going to be scared, you idiot! I was turned into a clone of apocalypse maiden! In the setting where the bad guys had all the tools to win to boot! Who wouldn't tremble in such situation? Ghosts and earthquakes are nothing in comparison to this mess! I'm basically doomed! You hear me, myself? DOOMED!

Then, i slumped into the wall, unable to find the words to argue against my position. It seems that analyzing the situation only made everything felt worse to me as i found myself going back and forth between being confident that i would change the world and confident that i'm definitely fucked with capital F. Gosh, i sounded like that whiny Shinji now. And i haven't even talked about how my sexuality became seriously challenged because of this recent event!

"Brrr." I suddenly shivered as the coldness from the air-conditioner began to affect me more than i could handle. To summarize, i'm a nude girl that was stuck inside a very lengthy and cold elevator ride which already passed at least 120 floors. Fuck. At least that guy found clothes soon after he get out. That's it. I'm gonna die of hypothermia before i even made my debut to this cruel, mad world. Well, here goes nothing...

"Oh, yes. Oh, Scarlett Johansson. Your boobs are so...ah!"

Hey. I need to maintain my temperature, after all. I don't wanna die yet.

Man, woman's nipples are really that sensitive. So sensitive that i thought i could getting off from playing with it alone. Well, perhaps it was a trade-off for their more painful sex experiences? Ah, but then again, i'm still a virgin.

As i kneaded my boobs more and even managed to take a lick on one of my nipple, my free hand began to roaming toward my private area. I had to know if G-Spot was really a thing in this body. Man, if you try to compare woman with male in sexuality area, they would look weird. I mean, scientists haven't even fully figured out the essence of G-Spot and 'woman's cum', whether if they're even real or not. Not to mention the fact that they had more sensitive zone, and yet many could only getting off from their clit. Man, i'm so glad that i was a-

"AH!" I gasped and arched my head back in amazement. Yeah. This body definitely had one.

Soon, i found myself surrendered to the primal instinct, still pleasing myself even after i had sufficient body heat. My fingers touched my sweet spots uncontrollably as my breathing became spastic, my brain didn't do much but to focused on reaching my peak.

After all, i'm sure that the sight of naked Rei Ayanami laying on the ground weakly with her...body fluids everywhere would make anyone who found me got a heart attack.

I just hope that guy would be Gendo.

"Ah." Fuck. Even my moaning were hot, "Aah. AH. AAAAH!"

That's it. The world of ecstasy just hit me hard.

Had i been standing before, i'm sure i would fell off immediately from how i felt like my legs turning into goo. In fact, my body was convulsing so much that i had to grip the steel bar on the elevator just to make sure that i didn't hurt myself accidentally. I didn't know if it was because my current body was a definite weakling, or because i actually had to hit my most sensitive just to reach my peak, but i was pretty damn sure: That had to be my strongest orgasm to date.

"Oh, fuck. That was so good. Oh, shit. Yeah...Ah...Ah..."

In the midst of my bliss, i looked at the current floor to see my whereabouts. I also managed to saw that yes, this body also a squirter.

I was almost on the highest floor.

"That's it. Come closer, you amish bastard. Take a look at your second precious doll, just like that. Get a fucking heart attack from your underage wife's body, you creepy asshole. Come on, Gendo what's the matter? It's just between you and me. Don't deprive yourself of some pleasure. Come on Gendo. Let's party."

God, i fucking love Commando.

Yes, this is it. Just a few floors left. Matter of death, would be decided now. Maybe going kamikaze on Gendo would've been the best for the world.

...And what a turn of event it became instead.

Another bearded man, but much more shaven, was a sight that appeared in front of me instead.

Ryoji Kaji, the seeker of the truth.

Thank god, i met the coolest fucker in this anime instead. Now i knew how Asuka felt toward this fine stud. Ryoji Kaji, the man who didn't take crap from Gendo, Asuka, or even fucking Zeruel. Ryoji Kaji, the only one who didn't treated Shinji wrongly in any continuity. Ryoji Kaji, the man who didn't even flinch in face of death. Ryoji Kaji...

The man who saw my private moment...

Crap. Worst first impression ever.

"Ah, Mrs. Ayanami! Fancy to see you here! You, um...got lost, too?"

"That is correct." I simply said that with soft voice that didn't betray any emotion, like how Rei was supposed to speak. It was the safest thing i could said in my situation, with how shocked Kaji looked and all. Had i didn't have my memory upload, embarrassment would've been written all over my face, blushing and all.

"Well, uh...i see that you're, um...enjoying yourself. Well, i'd better go. See you next time, Miss Ayanami!"

"Wait!" I spoke quickly soon as he gave his trademark bow, nearly betrayed my impression of Rei Ayanami, "Both of us are not supposed to be here, especially at this time. And i believe that i require some assistance in this matter. Could you help me get out from here, Agent Kaji?" I just hope this Kaji was as good in his heart as the original canon, whether he had the troubled past like the manga or not. Why people portrayed him as a backstabber was beyond me.

"Hmm...maybe i can do something..."

Soon, Kaji left myself. I just hoped that he did not betray my trust.

Then again, it's Evangelion. Any crap could've happened to anyone.

...Which just being proved earlier.

And luckily, which wasn't being what happened now.

"Ah, we're lucky, Rei! I think you can hide here." Said Kaji as he dropped a big sack.

"It seems to be spacious enough for myself." Said me as i inspected the sack. It was rather smelly, but compared to Rei's apartment and some of my friend's, i've smelt worse.

Nah. I'm not a slacker in cleaning section. Really.

"And you're light enough to be carried around by me. No offense, but you're rather...skinny. Just...do not mind if i had to hide you in our journey."

"What harm could be done for me?"

"Well...a little bump here and there. Especially if i had to be quick so no one catched us. So..." Kaji nodded at the sack direction, which i immediately take the note as he asked me to get in quickly. But as i was posing as Rei Ayanami, i had to act rather slow. By the third nod, i finally entered the sack. The 'i-am-tired-of-this' look from his face was priceless.

Soon, after i get used by the smell, my fatigue began to kick in. Soon, i wandered into my sleep state again, with small hope that by the time i woke up, i would become myself again.

My awakening was...eventful again, to say the least.

First, i was in someone's apartment.

Second, i saw that i wore a hospital gown now. Crap. Guess i'm still Rei Ayanami.

And third, and the most eventful one...

I was bound. And gagged.

Fuck my life.

And here comes the torturer...

Kaji?

"Now listen. I need lots of explanation, especially with how the fuck there's two Rei Ayanami in this world, and why are you not supposed to be here while she was being questioned by Doctor Akagi and Commander, which in case you want to know, she's fine and still breathing. You got that?"

I simply nodded. Nervously

"Good." He smiled and removed my gag. Soon, my breathing became normal again. But not before i let out a sigh of relief.

"...You don't need to do this, you know?"

"...Pardon me?"

"Well...um...i...you're supposed to...well, let's just say that i always wanted to speak with you since the beginning." It was half the truth. It's either Kaji or Misato that would become my first partner.

"Then tell me, girl. But i can assume you that you're not the real first child." Said him as he began to sat next to me. Damn, he was really the agent, the man.

"...Can you untie me first?"

"I'm the one who's calling the shot here, Miss. Be honest to me first, and i might do that to you." Said him, still reasonably suspicious of me.

"...Okay. But don't tell me that i'm crazy once i'm done."

And i began to explain to him everything i know. From how i came from the world where this world was nothing but a fantasy (i left out the part of being made by a mad man, of course), how i became a part of dummy plug, how the whole thing folded, and many secrets that was hidden in NERV. Of course, i also told him the important part. Namely, how the whole cast of Evangelion would died, and how i could saved them if he was willing to work with him. I stumbled over my words sometimes because i was so nervous, nervous that he wouldn't trust me.

"...You're crazy."

I sighed at his foolishness, "I knew you would've said that. And...didn't i warned you about this before?"

"Well, to be fair, i found you just...pleased yourself earlier in the elevator, and now you're telling me that you're one of the many clone of Rei Ayanami, this world was nothing but fantasy in your previous world or life, and everyone would've died horribly in it? Excuse me, miss, but it definitely sounds...crazy." He said as he began to pull one of his cigarette. But his hand was trembling. This means that some part of him believed in me. Perhaps it would've worked, after all. Well, here goes nothing...

I sighed again, before i spoke, "Well, then how i managed to know everyone here? Asuka, Shinji, Rei, Misato, Doctor Akagi, Commander, Maya...in short, everyone here? Hell, i knew that your brother and friends were killed by the Post Second Impact supply guards!"

Kaji dropped his cigarette as the truth sank into his mind. My gambling was a success. He soon stomped his still lighted cigarette, "You have a point there, girl. Or...should i call you, a man?"

I simply let out a chuckle, "I have to get used in my girl form soon."

"So let me get it straight. The safest way to save the world is...to do nothing, and let it go like how it supposed to be?"

No longer bounded, i soon doing some planning to save the world.

Heh. Kaji somehow mirrored my fanfiction's version of him...

"Except getting yourself killed. Misato wouldn't be able to do anything by herself, so...she will need your help."

"I see." Kaji took a mental note, "So...what's the best, and worst scenario of this?"

"Best scenario? The world actually became fixed. Normal climate, everyone didn't remember any part of Angel war. The only casualty would be Ritsuko, Gendo, you, Misato, and Rei...maybe Toji, if he was killed by Bardiel."

"And...the worst?"

I sighed for 'how many times, i don't know' again, "It would take a hard time for humanity to embrace themselves again. Shinji and Asuka were extremely traumatized and may never recovered. If they could, it would take a long time. Those two did manage to find the meaning of life for themselves...but the cost is too high. World was devastated even more instead of fixed...in short, the humanity get the shorter end of the stick."

I knew some people classified EoE as having a happy ending since Shinji resolved his conflict, but let's face it: The whole thing was too goddamn much.

"...Are you positive with which one would be the definite?"

"No." I shook my head, "Even though it leaning more toward the happier ending...this world was more like an alternate continuity. Some things were different here. I cannot be fully sure." Soon as i was finished, i realized that i just did the Gendo pose. Damn that bastard's gene.

"Like how Pen-Pen can write Kanji in this world?"

I simply nodded.

Well...at least this world is much sillier than the original Eva world.

Much to my liking, i guess.

"Maybe we can make...Rei happier?"

Soon, i stared at him. Damn, this is one hell of a handsome man. No wonder Asuka wanted him so much.

...Of course i'm still straight, dammit! Haven't i tell you that i just dreamed of Israfel special again?

"You know...in the manga, as you call it, she was...let's just say, warmer? Maybe it was the reason why the world didn't get the shorter end of the stick."

"I don't know," i simply said, "It might be the reason, but Shinji in the manga was stronger as well. When the instrumentality happened, he immediately declared it was wrong instead of having some introspection sections before he actually declared his desire to live again. Or maybe we can actually make Asuka stronger instead. With her being our wild card...she might get something done."

"In short, letting the children happy is the key to all of this."

"Maybe." I said simply in my logical tone courtesy of Megumi Hayashibara, before i showed him one of Rei Ayanami's stunning smile, "But wouldn't it be nice to make them happy just because we want to?"

He smiled back. Perhaps because my smile was too stunning for him to ignore it, or because the warmth from it made him reacted accordingly, "Well, i agree that it would be nice."

My smile grew a little more. Suddenly, my face grew sullen as i realized something. "I just hope i could do more than planning..."

"Hey. It's the best for you to hide from anyone for a while."

"Or maybe for the rest of time..."

"You know, maybe i can become closer to the children since i already...you know, found the truth already."

"Oh, you definitely should."

Crazy how it sounded, but i never being this confident with people i just met. Maybe because Ayanami's memory upload also give me some nerves of steel? Or maybe it's just because i became comfortable around Kaji.

Then again, i always talkative around people i trusted much. Especially my families. ESPECIALLY my crazy cousin and his crazy families. To call them riot would be an understatement. Really, maybe i got my hidden crazy genes from them.

"...Look. I'm sorry that i had to bring your memories of your brother and friends back. But i don't know how else i could convince you."

"Don't mind it, kid. I might not deserve my happiness again, but these kids still do."

Yeah. Things getting awkward again.

Man. These guys really meant it about understanding each others's 100 percents, didn't they?

Suddenly, a knock was heard from the outside. Then, more loud knocking followed. And finally, someone shouted with authority.

"Agent Kaji, we have to speak with you!"

I do not need to recognize the voice to know who were those guys.

Section 2 agents.

Crap. Have they found me already?

What would happened to me? Have Gendo found me yet? Will me and Kaji managed to carry out my plan? Or Gendo was already killed when he slipped on my...womanly fluids? Will i managed to masturbate again? Find out next, on Evangelion A.D.!

AAAND! TIME FOR OMAKE!

"Come on, Gendo! Let's party!"

Soon enough...i wish i didn't say that.

The bearded man was really there...

But he didn't has any gun, he didn't bring his bodyguard, nor did he get a heart attack.

No. He decided to ditch the amish look.

Now...he was a bearded Freddie Mercury that just returned from Blue Oysters.

In short, he had that gayass chainmail vest and leather pants on.

"I DON'T NEED THE PANTS!", he said as he dropped his pants. Holy shit, his pubic hairs was like a jungle! AND HE'S HUGE! "I'M GONNA FUCK YOU NOOOOOOOW!"

And so, my virginity ended in the most confusing sex that was wrong on so many level. All the wrong subtext were there.

And the worst part?

"Ah..."

I enjoyed it...