FATE chapter 1
6 months before...
Jude took a deep breath and pushed the glass door that separated her from her fate. She heard her Converses squeak on the shiny tiled floor and went over to the reception desk.
"May I help you?" the receptionist asked. She looked middle aged, with a blue trouser-suit on, and her straight blonde hair tied up in a bun.
"Um...I," Jude stammered. She hated talking to strangers. Taking a deep breath, she tried again, thanks to the receptionist's encouraging smile. "I'm here for the meeting today."
The receptionist nodded in response and tapped a few keys on the computer. "The meeting is on level 3, room 24 today," she read off the screen. "Please, go on up, and they'll be somebody there to greet you and settle you in."
Jude smiled warmly. "Thank you." She headed to the lift and pressed the 'up' arrow button. Tapping her foot nervously whilst she waited for the lift, she looked around at the room. White tiles, white walls, it looks freshly painted she thought. It was a posh building, normally used for conferences and business meetings. But that was definitely not what Jude was here for. The lift made a 'ting' noise and the doors opened. She walked in and pressed for level 3. She took another deep breath and closed her eyes as the lift doors began to close. This is it she thought. No going back now.
"Stop!" a voice called.
Jude looked to see a (fairly good looking) young man running towards her lift. She pressed the 'doors open' button and held it for him.
"Thanks," he said, out of breath. "Level 3 please."
He's going to the same floor as me...maybe there's something else in another room...or maybe he's here for the same reason I am...
The lift fell into an uncomfortable silence. Not for any particular reason, just no-one knew quite what to say.
Jude glanced at his appearance. Faded jeans, a light blue t-shirt underneath a leather jacket, and scruffy brown hair. He had shaved though. She glanced back at her own appearance. Ripped jeans, a blue jumper with a plain white t-shirt underneath, and black Converses. Neither of us are dressed smartly...
The lift 'tinged' again. "Level 3."
The doors opened. Jude hurried out and found her room. She read the door plaque:
Room 24
Counselling and Therapy
"You here for this to?"
Jude jumped and saw the 'lift man' standing next to her, tapping the plaque on the door.
"Er, no, no," she stammered. "I just, got off at the wrong level. Sorry."
She slung her brown leather rucksack over her shoulder and pushed past him and back to the lift. She watched him frown slightly, but breathed a sigh of relief when he opened the white door of room 24 and disappeared from her sight. She cursed a few times to herself, then pushed level 2 and waited a few moments on that level, before telling herself she had to go back to the right floor and just walk in. You can do this she said, over and over as the lift climbed back to level 3. The foreboding 'ting' of the lift sent a sickening feeling to Jude's stomach as her feet reluctantly carried her to room 24. She stood outside the door and checked her watch. She was late.
If only that man hadn't came in the lift with me!
Hearing voices from inside the room, she slowly pushed open the door and saw the group counselling session in progress. A circle of eleven chairs were on the blue carpeted floor, and the counsellor was part of the circle. Heads turned as Jude walked in, her boots not making a sound on the floor. Had the door not made a noise when it shut no-one would have heard her.
"Sorry I'm late," Jude said quietly. She shuffled her hands nervously and looked down at the ground, feeling her cheeks burn.
"Don't be sorry," the counsellor said. "We've only just started. Please, sit down, and we've just started introducing ourselves."
Jude slowly made her way to the empty chair, sat down and placed her rucksack down at her feet.
"Now that the circle is complete," the counsellor said softly, "We'll start from the top."
Jude fidgeted in her seat, careful not to make eye contact with the man from the lift. Evidently, she'd been lying about not going to the counselling session.
The counsellor continued speaking. "Hello, my name is Margaret."
"Hello Margaret," the rest of the group chorused.
"I'm 43 years old, and I am a counsellor. I want to help people overcome their fears, worries, problems in life. I want to help people turn over a new leaf. And more importantly, I'm here for all of you today, and for the rest of your sessions with me, group and individual, to talk to. Whatever you want to talk to me about, whatever you want to get out of your system, you can talk to me about it." Margaret smiled and it was the persons turn sat to her left to introduce themselves.
"Hello, my name is Richard."
"Hello Richard."
I'm 25...and..." he looked at the floor. "I am an alcoholic. I have been for nearly 2 years now...and, I want to change."
"Hi my name is Halle, and I am struggling in my job at the moment - "
"- Hi Halle."
"And, well...I've been getting more and more depressed over it...and I suppose," she took a deep breath. "I suppose I just need a bit of help to get myself back on track again."
"Hi I'm Max."
"Hi Max."
"And I'm here because I just recently lost my girlfriend in a car accident. I think it's important for me to talk about it and get it out in the open."
"Hi my name is Katherine."
"Hello Katherine."
"I've been addicted to cocaine since I was 18...and 3 years on...I need help." Katherine bowed her head sadly.
The circle reached Jude's turn. She straightened up in her chair and took a deep breath. She caught the man from the lift looking at her across the circle. His expression was unreadable.
"My name is Jude," Jude said softly.
"Hi Jude."
She paused.
"I am probably the youngest in the room right now," she managed to laugh. The counsellor smiled reassuringly. "Um, I'm 18 years old. And when I was 15 I got into," she took a deep breath. "I got into my first relationship." She smiled as she remembered. "It was great at first, he bought me flowers, came round my house for dinner, met my parents, my sister...and then, at my 16th birthday party," Jude bit her bottom lip. "He broke up with me and brought his new girlfriend to the party. I guess ever since then I haven't been able to love anyone else, or trust anyone else. I keep to myself, I...I don't go out...I don't date, and I don't share my feelings with anyone. And, I want to learn to love again."
The room was silent as she spoke, and she breathed a sigh of relief when she'd finished and it was the next persons turn.
"My name is Shaun. I am 20 years old, just a bit older than Jude there, and I spent my childhood with an abusive father."
A tense silence fell on the room.
"I bottled it up and pretended it didn't happen, but I think it's time to face my fears about what really happened."
"Hello, my name is Sophie."
"Hi Sophie."
"I am 23 years old, and I am addicted to prescription drugs. I want counselling to help me get off them, and I want to feel confident in myself without having to take the pills to feel like I fit in with everyone else."
"Hi, my name is Liam."
"Hi Liam."
"And I have recently been released from prison for, well, to put it bluntly, for being a wife-beater. I got married to the most perfect woman when I was 20. And then I got addicted to alcohol, and started hitting her and...well, my consequence was prison. But I'm a changed man, and I want to make sure I stay changed. I want counselling to help me get back to the way I was. A good husband."
"Hi my name is Sara."
"Hi Sara."
"This isn't the first time I've been here. I'm an addict. And I want help. I used to help people who needed me-I was a psychiatric nurse. I still want to help people. But first, I need to help myself."
It was the tenth and last person's turn to introduce themselves. The man from the lift.
"Hi," his eyes met mine across the room. "My name is Tommy."
"Hi Tommy."
"And I hurt people. That's my ammo."
I looked up from the floor.
"I hurt the people that are the ones I care most about." His eyes looked sad. "I left home as soon as possible and came to Toronto to find myself. And, I guess, I just hurt everyone along the way."