Where the Fault Lies

Chapter Two

Mystress Fate

Disclaimer: This is not mine. Is property of J.K. Rowling.

Hermione spent most of the nights after Ron's death sleepless and staring at the ceiling late into the hours of darkness, remembering all the things about him. She would try to fall asleep, and almost succeed, but at the last moment, something would remind her of him and she would once again be lost. She was now a week ahead of schedule because she tried to divert her attention to something else by working on her assignments.

Most of her classmates had stopped trying to talk to her. They didn't like to be around her. She'd even heard herself be called the human dementor because she seemed to take all the life and joy out of everything. She thought that was ironic. She couldn't even feel anything like life or joy. It was no never mind to her that no one would talk to her. She hadn't been in the mood for conversation in the longest time.

The only thing that was a somewhat of a trial to her was Dimwi-walt's project. She had exhausted most of her time helping and showing the idiots Crabbe and Goyle how to properly research and format an essay for their parts of the project. At least while she was with them, working, she got her mind off of Ron for the time being. Sometimes, however, she would get caught up in a memory of red hair or stupid laughs. She would think she'd seen someone resembling Ron and the memory would just float over her. Goyle or Crabbe, and sometimes even Malfoy would have to shake her out of these reveries. In these moments, Malfoy would usually look at her strangely or offer a nasty comment. Hermione ignored him for the most part.

One morning, two weeks after Dimwalt assigned his project, Hermione caught two Ravenclaw girls staring at her, and whispering. She gave them a hard look, and continued eating.

Everyone had been doing that a lot lately. Whispering. Looking. Watching. Only a couple feet away, people would point to her as if she were a laughing stock at the zoo. They tried to do it when they thought she wouldn't see. She did see. She just didn't care.

After leaving the Great Hall to escape the Ravenclaw girls, and any others that saw fit to stare at her, she walked outside by the lake to think and try as she might to relax. She opened the doors to the exit of the castle and began the trek down to the lake. The sun was still shining and although it was chilly, it wasn't snowing badly enough for her to need a lot of extra clothing.

She found a perch under a great big tree close to the water. She leaned up against its base and just looked. The water was nice and the sun made its surfaces sparkle. There were kids milling about and a stray owl or two flying two and fro from the Owlrey. Her mind began to wander.

What was she going to do? How was she expected to cope with this? This guilt and fear and loss? She knew that she shouldn't be wallowing in self-pity. But how was anyone supposed to deal with something like this? No one had any answers for her. No one knew exactly what to say to help her. She was as alone as if she were to jump into the sea.

Depressed with that thought, she began to study the people on the grounds, trying in vain to find some source of happiness. She saw a girl, alone studying. She looked like she was in first year. Hermione could tell. She looked stressed out, amazed, and still a tad bit awed by all of the things that Hogwarts had to offer.

Hermione had to look away. Her eyes traveled to a group of guys, laughing a frog that had been charmed to fly. The frog had two, very light green colored wings and was flapping them frantically to stay in the air. That's what I feel like, Hermione thought, trying my best to stay with everything but with each second I feel like I'm falling faster.

A mixed group of people were playing a game with an old, battered, makeshift Quaffle. They were throwing it around, trying to keep it from the two people in the middle. It reminded Hermione of Monkey in the Middle. The only difference was that the children were using their wands to try move the ball back and forth. It made her smile vaguely, the first time in weeks, as she saw the two in the middle try fruitlessly to gain the ball.

Her next subjects were two people. A couple, nonetheless. They were bickering. She couldn't watch. It hurt too much.

She heaved a sigh and put her head into her hands. Why couldn't she even look at people without being unhappy? Even seeing her parents together had been hard on her. It stung to see them smiling at each other or stealing a kiss. Of course they were shocked by their daughters change in attitude. But they tried their best to understand. They were really nice parents. She loved them.

She vowed right then and there to try and get better and to try and be happy.

But it didn't last long before she noticed the same two Ravenclaws that had been staring at her at breakfast earlier had made the transition to a spot not to far from Hermione. They were repeating their earlier bit of staring and whispering.

At the sight of the girls, Hermione snapped. She jumped to her feet and stormed across the lawn towards them. They were frozen to their spot.

She was furious. Why can't they just leave her alone? Why do they have to keep staring at her? Can't they see how much pain she was in?

The two girls were standing under a tree that wasn't too far from Hermione's. As she neared their place by the lake the sound of her fast paced heartbeat reached her ears and everything but it was drowned out. Her fingers rolled into fists and her knuckles turned white. The metaphorical steam was blowing out of her ears.

The two girls stood frozen in their boots, sweaters and mittens. Apparently they believed a little cold would kill them. When she stood not a half a meter away, Hermione exploded.

"What is your problem?"

At her voice the girls flinched slightly. Both of them were obviously very disturbed by the 'human dementors' unusual behavior. One, she was blonde with bright blue eyes and perfect body, was obviously the more confident of the two because she cocked a little attitude. "Actually," Miss Attitude said, oozing condescension, "that's what Julia and I were wondering."

Julia winced a little at the mention of her name and a blush spread up her neck and bathed her cheeks red. The red clashed with the orange of her hair and made the splash of freckles on her nose stand out. "I-I'm sorry, Her-her-moine. Really. I'm so sorry. I-I have t-to work on the P-Potions project. B-Bye."

She began to walk towards the castle but not before her friend stopped her with an arm. "Wait, Julia, we had something to ask Hermione, remember?"

Julia, at that moment, looked like she wanted nothing more than not to ask Hermione anything. She stayed rooted to her spot, nonetheless.

Miss Attitude began to proceed with the question they had been thinking about since lunch. Hermione wasn't having it.

"I'm sorry," Hermione began, "but I really don't have time for your 'questions'. I'm sorry that your life doesn't have enough interesting happenings to keep your quaint little minds occupied. If you want to delve into my life and my pain, do so, but do it on your own time, and without gawking at me like I've just risen from the dead. I don't need your pity or your sympathy. I'm having a hard enough time as it is dealing with everything. I don't need all of you pretending like you care or being rude and obnoxious because you think you know what's going on with me. Leave. Me. Alone."

With the last three words she yelled the whole gathering of people who had silently snuck around to see what the commotion was, collectively jumped. Julia gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth, extremely embarrassed at the whole situation. Miss Attitude bared her teeth and prepared for a fight.

Hermione's shoulders slumped and the passion died out of her. "Leave me alone," she whispered. "Just leave me alone." Her voice was as soft as a breeze on a light summer's day and only Miss Attitude and Julia heard it. Hermione left the girls, the crowd, and herself very puzzled.

She struggled to control herself as she fought her way through the crowds in the Great Hall. She was headed for her dormitory for a little solace.

Her mind caught up with her whirling emotions she didn't hear her named called. A hand snaked out and grabbed her arm. It shook a startled, "What?!?" out of her.

Malfoy didn't react but said with a calm, expressionless face, "It's time to go to Potions, Granger. We need you there to help with the project." His eyes were grey and seemed to storm. A ghost of his former smirk graced his lips. "Gryffindor can't afford to lose any more points."

She'd completely forgotten about classes. That wasn't like her. But since Ron's death, she hadn't really been like her at all. She took a couple moments to pull herself together. A couple deep breaths and she glanced acidly at Malfoy. "I'll be there in a minute."

She didn't give him a chance to respond and walked away. That should have been Ron, she thought furiously to herself. He should be the one holding me back from chewing out the Ravenclaw girls and reminding me, if I had ever forgotten, to go to Potions class. Sadness sparked, renewed, in her eyes.

Draco couldn't believe what he'd seen the little Granger do. When he heard the commotion coming from a place near the castle he, being the uninterested person that he was, didn't go closer to investigate. That is until he heard a familiar voice yelling at the crowd. It was only then that he drew closer.

It was the second most shocking thing in his life to see Granger standing surrounded by people and yelling at the bitchiest girl attending Hogwarts. He had stood coolly in the back of the crowd and surveyed the semi-breakdown of the Gryffindor girl. The whispers in the crowd told him that everyone had been expecting it. There had even been a bet placed on how long it would take Hermione to finally crush on the pressure of Ron's death.

He wondered if she felt as hopeless as he did.

Thanks to

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Update: I'm going to start writing during the week as much as I can and updating sometime near the weekends. (I'm working on Ch. Three's outline at this very moment!) I appreciate all of the reviews and everyone who has read my fic. See you this weekend!