Axe Gets Axed

Kevin Ringenberg did not like threats to his lifestyle. As a kid, he had spent too much time in sub-par circumstances. Not anymore; not ever again; not when he was old enough to take control of his own life. Upon entering high school he had grabbed the wheel with a steel grip and swore he wouldn't let go, even if it killed him.

So when a freshman of all things, started to interfere with his perfect setup, he came to the conclusion that he needed to stomp it out ASAP. Even if it was small now, that didn't mean it couldn't grow into something cataclysmically worse – something beyond his control. He had seen it happen before.

And that was why he was sacrificing his focus during football practice to keep an eye out for a certain brown haired freshman. He had seen her hanging around after school hours for the past week, working on something in the wood-shop. Today shouldn't be an exception. And if everything went as he planned – which it usually did – then practice should be ending about the same time she concluded her work.

The coach called an end to the workout and Kevin gave his buddies a thumbs up. They nodded back. Kevin hadn't told them all of the details, but they were willing to go along with it. After all, they had been victims of the humiliation the week before as well. Kevin hadn't needed to do much convincing.

Kevin took a deep breath as he entered the boys' locker room, rubbing his nose to excuse a discrete sniff. He had no idea what the prank last week had been about. Why would a stupid freshman go out of her way to piss off an entire team of buff, intimidating teenagers? Their reputation alone should keep people off their backs. It was one of the perks about the football team that Kevin was very happy to take advantage of.

As previously stated, he didn't like people messing with him.

Kyle and Aaron followed after him when he left, sweat still stained their undershirts as they hadn't taken time to change and risk missing their chance. They shouldered their duffel bags and set off to find Mabel Pines.

Kevin checked his watch. It was 5:10. Any minute now and she should be heading out to the dumpster to dispose of the sawdust and wood shavings that had accrued from her project. And… there she was.

They made sure to catch her on the side away from the football field, so that the dumpster blocked the view that the coaches or players may have had as they put away the equipment.

It was cold in the shadow of the dumpster. The freshman was still oblivious to the threesome as she made a racket opening the lid and throwing the garbage bag in. She was happily humming a tune, but it came to an immediate stop when she turned to find the three Juniors blocking her path. Kevin smiled; he liked that reaction.

"Hey boys!" Mabel Pines said cheerfully, a bright, brace-filled smile splitting her face. Geez, she looked like a geek. "What can I do for you?"

"Is that the kind of attitude you take with everyone you piss off?" Kevin asked, feeling the cliché need to crack his knuckles.

"What do you mean?" She cocked her head in curiosity.

"I mean, I'm here to pay you back for the shit you pulled last week." Kevin glared.

"Oh that!" the freshman laughed, "I was just doing you a teeny favor. There's no need to thank me."

"You honestly think I was going to thank you for breaking into every guy on the football team's locker to cover their practice jersey with stickers?! Are you stupid?"

She put her hands on her hips, sticking her nose in the air with superiority, "Scratch-n-sniff stickers to be exact. And it was completely necessary. People were starting to smell essence of football players all the way in the cafeteria. Lunches were spoiling!"

Kevin sputtered, starting to interject. But he was cut off as Mabel raised her voice and continued.

"See guys have this thing called puberty, during which their bodies start to smell a lot worse than normal. I would know, my brother is no hygiene freak. However, the phenomenon is easily solved with lots of showers and soap. Yet for some reason guys think that they can cover their atomic BO with even more atomic waste, commonly known as Axe. It just makes the whole problem worse. My point last week was: it has to stop. Just wash you stupid jerseys."

Rage licked Kevin's insides. Here stood this freshman, acting like a know-it-all, and she was proud of it. No, this is what needed to stop.

He advanced on the girl, she was so much shorter than him, this was going to be so easy. Scare her. Rough her up a bit. No bruises on visible bits; of course, that wouldn't be a problem seeing as she always wore those horrific sweaters.

"You don't seem to understand your place, freshman." Kevin growled as he stalked forwards, his buddies closing in as well, "We are the school's most valuable students. We do what we want. And no one tells us otherwise."

The bright, open cheeriness had fallen off the girl's face. But it wasn't replaced by fear. There was a stony determination in her eyes instead. Retrospectively, Kevin realized he should have noticed that something was off; but in the moment, he was too angry to read his opposition.

"Is that what you honestly think?" her voice had grown quiet, but deadly, "That no one else matters and you can walk all over them as you please…"

Mabel Pines took the last step, closing the distance between them, and put her face in Kevin Ringenberg's – the football star and most popular male in the entire high school – face, "I can't stand people that think like that."

Belatedly, the alarm bells started to ring in Kevin's head.

"It seems," Mabel continued, "That it's more than just your jersey that stinks. Your attitude needs fixing along with your BO problem."

Kevin didn't even think before throwing the punch. He just wanted something to shut her up.

But, with barely an ounce of effort, Mabel quickly sidestepped and redirected the path of his punch so that his fist collided painfully with the metal dumpster. As he howled in pain and shook out his throbbing hand, the freshman strode past him slapping a sizable, department store 'SALE' sticker on his shoulder.

She breezed past his dumbstruck buddies as well before turning on her heel and yelling, "Bullying is cheap. You can find it anywhere. But kindness is pure gold. Kinda like that rule you learn about in kindergarten!"

She slapped a sticker on her own sweater: a golden trophy that read "u da best."

"And that's why I'm bothering to tell you this instead of beating you to a pulp."

"Mabel?" Kevin heard a new voice over the mayhem of his thoughts, "I thought I heard some commotion. Are you alright?"

Freshman Dipper Pines rounded the corner of the woodshop. The only reason Kevin knew his name was that the kid was so inherently nerdy the boys on the football team constantly retold their stories about teasing him. Kevin had thought he was a pushover. But that was before the kid found Kevin trying to beat up Mabel Pines.

Brown eyes narrowed as they took in the scene. In seconds, they found Kevin's, and the speed with which the perceptive freshman assessed the situation sent chills down his spine.

"Oh hey, bro-bro. How was the library?" Mable's happy, always slightly too noisy voice was back.

"Enlightening." Dipper responded mechanically. His stare never wavered, "Are you ready to go home now?"

"Yep!" the girl crowed, "I'm gonna make supper for everybody tonight. I hope you want an omelet shaped like your face!"

The boy finally broke off his glare to give his sister a smile, "I love breakfast for dinner."

Without acknowledging their upperclassman, the duo set off towards their house. Kevin could hear Mabel's portion of an animated conversation even as they reached the other side of the football field. But the three players were left in shock at the turn of events. Kevin had come for revenge, only to get blind-sided by a couple of freshman.

It didn't make sense. Mabel was a weird, over-eager girl with outcasts for friends and speculated to have brain damage. Dipper was a socially inept loser with no physical capabilities whatsoever and lived with his head in a book.

But for a few moments, Kevin got the impression that both could be scary as hell if they chose to be.

And in those few moments, Kevin had noticed something:

That kid was not like his sister.

Dipper Pines was the kind of person to save the lessons for last.