Chapter 2

By this time I was getting seriously depressed. It was making me sloppy. I had more and more near misses until 2 days ago when I made a HUGE fucking mistake and forced Lil' Joy into a thickly forested grove thinking that we could hide out in it for a few hours or maybe a day. Instead we came face to face with about a dozen walkers trapped in there, and on my big plodding horse we very nearly got killed. Lil' Joy panicked like she's never done before and I could not control her. She couldn't turn around properly with all the saplings spearing upwards like jail bars, pressing her into a corridor of cold wet twisted wood. She bucked and reared, kicked and squealed like I have never heard an animal do before. She was in mortal terror. Basically she went nuts. There were walkers all around us and with Lil' Joy going mad with fear and desperation there was nothing I could do but cling to her back for dear life. That was when she smashed us both into a big old tree - the only fucking big tree in the whole place just my luck. At the time I knew it was bad for me at least. I couldn't feel my leg at all from the knee down, but there was little time to think too much on it then. I flailed out with my fire poker as Lil' Joy reared and kicked out. We both made contact enough to knock down a few of them and clear a path out of there. Lil' Joy didn't need the plan explained: she bolted. And ran. And ran. She went for miles in a blind panic. So I went too.

By the time she ran out of steam and sort of collapsed into a staggering shambles of a walk, she was shivering, wet through with sweat and she sounded like a whale clearing its blowhole. I saw a whale at a marine park once and it was nothing compared to Lil' Joy's huffing wheeze. And me? I was in agony. My knee, shin and foot were an excruciating mass of raw smashed nerve endings, so much so staying conscious was a challenge. My mind kept swirling in and out of nothingness. I felt like I was drowning. Drowning, riding a whale…

That's when I knew I was going to die. I had no idea where I was, barely any supplies, the weather was still wintery enough for worrying, and now I was going to be crippled long enough for it to kill me either from starvation, exposure or walkers. And I couldn't get off the damn horse. The pain was so intense I couldn't move my leg and the thought of hitting the ground trying to get off was too horrifying to contemplate.

Then to make matters worse, if they could be any worse, the horse suddenly shuddered, muscles clenching all at once . I nearly bit my damned tongue in two with the sudden starburst of fresh pain. I heard her blow out one excited snort, felt her surge forwards and…. and then I don't remember anything.

I don't know how I stayed on her back, but Lil' Joy took us both home. Home. I couldn't fucking believe it. We were back where we started. I came to on Lil' Joy's back, my hands fisted into her thick black mane, my face mashed to her neck. She smelled like wet blanket, mud and winter cold. How I stayed on her back I don't know. Maybe just survival instinct. I have a pretty good survival instinct. One that I never knew I had until the world started dying. I have survived things that my rational processes tell me I should have died from, but that instinct of mine that has no words only desperation for life just would not stop until I made it. And so I have. Time and time again. Well, until now that is.

So, back to Lil's Joy's triumphant return to her barn… When I came to, latched onto Lil' Joy's back like cling film, the second thing I registered was that she was moving. Trotting restlessly, swerving and starting. Once again the sea came to mind – it felt to me exactly like she was tossing about on choppy waves. What the hell was she doing? Was she in the water somewhere? Time and time again she brought us back around in a circle. Then was washed back out again, bobbing, rocking and weaving. Then back to again in a big looping arc. The water sometimes pulled on my pant leg, boot or coat. It was the weirdest sensation. We were on a fucking tide. I think I might have been delirious by then. My brain was skimming the broad surface of consciousness and only the movement of the horse kept me from bottoming out again. After a time I managed to pull my head up from her neck and – SHIT! Walkers. Every-FUCKING-where! Jesus holy fuck! We were surrounded. The stink, the moans and gurgling hisses, hit me like a sledgehammer.

The fucking horse was trying to get through the fence! She was trying to do it without getting swamped by the half dozen or so undead that were reaching for her again and again. And again and again she somehow got around them, blowing out hard puffs of steam, and went back to a different spot on the fence. She was going to get home if it killed her. And me.

Adrenaline brought me back to full consciousness in a snap. I didn't even feel my leg. I punched a face that got too near and it fell away. I fumbled for a weapon before I realized that I had dropped the fire poker somewhere on the way over here and the hand axe was in the backpack with the rifle (poking out of the top) and unreachable. That left me trying to get the fuck OUT of there. I backhanded another rotting face, nearly toppling off the horse. When I righted, I pulled on the reins, swore at the horse and kicked her with my good leg. She jerked around, breasting the fence (no electricity anymore) refusing to leave it, and I lost it totally and slashed the buckle end of the reins against her neck like a madman. That did it and she gave a shrill screech. I managed to haul her around until we could make a run for it along the fence line, leaving those shambling wrecks stumbling after us. Most of the walkers had bunched up around where Lil' Joy had been trying to get through the fence so it wasn't too hard to put some distance between them and us to get away to find a gate. We found one around the corner. Thank god it was a lever latch type arrangement and it was a simple matter to work it up from Lil' Joy's back. We got in. We got the gate shut.

And there were walkers in the fucking yard.

There were three ugly rotted ones. One of them was naked and minus every last bit of its guts, which reminded me again that this, whatever it was, was not a disease like the flu or cholera. Human beings had physiological limits, and someone missing the bulk of their digestive system and having an open belly wound running from groin to ribcage would mean that the body couldn't function. That poor woman must have lost most if not all her blood too. How did the body operate with no blood, no guts and an open wound open to infection? It can't. So this 'disease must be something supernatural. I thought about this a lot in the early days. It shook me up and changed my outlook on everything, because if this sort of magic was real, what else was? So far nothing else (like vampires and such) is, but I think this is sort of enough. I stopped thinking about it after people started getting killed around me. Since then I just think about surviving.

Anyway, the generators were down so those walkers must have pushed the fence over somewhere, or found a break in it. We had been gone for weeks Lil' Joy and me, so anything was possible. I kicked her again and she juddered forwards, bellowing out big puffs of steam. The nearest safe haven was the barn. We went there. That was a day ago.

We are still here.

I'm going to stop writing for a bit. My hand is cramping and I am starting to feel less angry and more guilty about whipping Lil' Joy's neck like that. I drew blood. I can see it from here. Shit. Oh shit…. Poor fucking horse. It wasn't her fault that I've smashed up my leg and all she really did was run home. Poor ol' beast. I'll make it up to her somehow. I will. With that thought I rally enough to look at my leg, finally. Since I fell off the horse and lay crying, let's not lie about it, in the straw of the barn I haven't had the guts to look at it. I was afraid of what I'd see and what it might have told me about how I was to die. Like some bad break and infection, septicemia and horrible fevered death. But now I have to look and so, with gritted teeth, I do.

My leg looks straight under my jeans, and there's no blood, but the material is taut at the knee and I can feel the inside walls of my boot pressing on my ankle and foot like a second skin. Ok, so probably not a hideous bone-through-skin breaks, but bad nonetheless. If it's not broken its badly badly bruised and maybe lots of soft tissue damage. I try to flex my knee and sharp slice of pain pierces the space behind my kneecap. The whole joint feels stiff. OK, so maybe something like a football injury? Shit. I don't know. I could slice the pants and boot off, but I am not sure if that's the right thing to do. Something tells me that would be an all new sort of pain. One that I couldn't fix or deal with. Instead I stare at my leg and listen to Lil' Joy breathe and shuffle around looking for what feed she can scrounge, and a little further back the walkers snarling, scrabbling and pushing at the barn door. I don't know how many are out there. The old man kept the barn in good order and there is not even a single knot hole to peep through.

How the hell am I going to get out of this one? I have no idea. No idea. Every notion I have fails immediately when it calls for me to walk, climb, run or even crawl. Even waiting to recover is out since I have very little food left and the stagnant water in the old horse trough is not enough to keep both Lil' Joy and I going for much longer. If I am going to do anything it will have to be before me and the ol' girl get too weak. It's funny, up until a moment ago I was all set to die here. Now that old survival instinct has kicked in again and it's driving me to find a way out of this mess.

Every way I look at it there is only one thing left for us. We are going to have to open the doors and make a run for it and just hope that there aren't too many walkers outside to swamp us. It's not a good plan. It fucking sucks. We are likely going to die. But maybe not. It's the 'maybe not' that always keeps me going. OK then, let's do this. It hurts like fuck to get up, but get up I do. Somehow, I do it.

I hobble over to Lil' Joy and pat her long bony nose. She lets me do it. I think she's forgiven me for whipping her and that makes the guilt worse. I HAVE to get her out of here. At least I have to give her a chance. The bridle is still hanging where I put it and getting it over her head and the bit between her soft bristly lips is no trouble. Poor ol' girl is near clapped out. I ruffle her mane and without waiting a moment more I lever my backpack back on and thrust the axe through my belt. I only cry a lot when I haul myself aboard her broad bony back. My knee isn't a knee anymore; it's just a space where agony has taken up residence. When I can stop I sit up straight and look at the barn door.

"Once more into the breach, old friend." I whisper into her ear. It's a dramatic thing to say, but I think a person's probably final moments should allow such a thing. Lil' Joy's ear twitches. I let myself imagine that she understands what I said. I pat her twitchy flank. Then I use my good knee to nudge her forwards towards the barn doors.

My plan in simple. I will lever up the bar across the door and trot lil' Joy quick smart back into the depths of the barn. We will wait until the walkers push the doors open which they surely will – I can hear them on both sides of the door where they have been for the last 24 hours. Then we will charge them and either get through the doorway or go down. Either way this is going to be it. I have to do it. For her. For me. I have to.

"Once more Lil' Joy. " I say again and nudge her forwards. She doesn't want to go, but slowly I get her to move. She can smell and hear those undead fucks and I can understand why she doesn't want to get any closer, but I am firm with her and we get there. "OK ol' girl, we're going to do this. This is the last thing I'll ever force you to do. The very last thing. After this it's your way all the way. I swear it. Ok then, let's do it."

And we do. We fucking do! The bar comes up slow and heavy in my hand and I nearly fall off the horse getting it up and away from its resting points, but I get it free from the door. It lands heavily and Lil' Joy snorts and skips sideways to avoid being hit. That was a good move. The doors immediately start caving inwards under the pressure from multiple pairs of rotting hands. She needs very little encouragement to move fast back into the barn. As she goes I feel the adrenaline kick in and my leg is suddenly very little bother. I pull the axe free as we move and I wheel her around to face the stinking group of about 12 walkers coming right at us. They are already half way down the floor towards us and Lil' Joy dances in place with fear. Her ears are flat to her head and I swear I can hear her teeth grinding the bit and big heart starting to jackhammer. I dig my boot into her ribs and smack her hindquarters with the flat of the axe. The shock propels her forwards. We are fucking going to do this. We'll do it. I see the pale winter-spring light ahead of us, framed in the doorway. I keep my eyes on that, I don't want to see anything else.

We charge.

Impact. The walkers slam into Lil' Joy's broad chest as she bolts through them. I don't even know if they even had time register what we were doing we were moving that fast in that little distance. We smash through them, scuttling them. I keep my eyes on the door as it gets closer and closer.

We are outside. Holy shit. We're outside! The walkers are inside. We did it, we did it! I can't believe it. I can't –

I'm going down! What the FUCK!

Everything swirls and tiIts and I hit the ground. Oh my god, what's happening? We were doing it, we were free! I roll over and I'm up on my elbows. Lil' Joy is staggering, limping about 5 metres away. I can see her head jerking, see her breath pumping from her nostrils like a steam engine. She's stumbled over something and thrown me. Crap!

I can't get up! My leg. Oh my god. It's fucked. I can't move.

The moans and snarls are gaining ground on me. I look around to see that the walkers we left in the barn have realized that there's nothing to eat in there and are coming back out. I can't get up. My fucking leg is totally gone on me.

Oh shit, oh shit –

Then a truck hits the small herd of walkers. A truck! What the holy fuck? I watch in total disbelief as the bodies fly, literally fly, on impact and land in the cold mud far away. Doors slam. There's two guys out of the truck laying waste to the ones they didn't hit. A woman is going after the ones they did hit. I watch her, dazed. She has a machete and she knows how to use it. I watch her take out at least 4 without hesitation and with efficiency that speaks volumes. What the hell?

"You bit?" A loud voice close to me makes me jump. I raise my axe, only to have it wrenched out of my hand. There's a man's face in mine, close to me. I can smell his breath – he's been eating macaroni. Macaroni? How'd he get Macaroni? My brain can't process this. I can't… Suddenly everything is blending, morphing, tunneling into pain and shock and I can't… I can't deal… I'm going down. This is it. I'm out, finished. I can hear myself blathering…

"Look after my horse. She's a good ol' girl. Called Lil' Joy. Named after her mother…"

End Chapter 2

Should I go on? Some of our main cast have just made their entrance. I promise!