TWO YEARS AGO

I looked at him like I'd never looked at any man before. It was as if all the years I'd allowed to pass by hadn't gone in vain. Finally, a man who ticked off every box on my checklist. Maybe even added more things to my checklist and ticked them off himself. He had all the qualities I wanted, and he had the qualities I didn't know I even wanted.

"Why are you still here in Roseville? You could go places if you really want to. There's so much more out there." He looked at me with wonder filling his dark and wild eyes.

"If it were that easy, I would've been long gone by now." I laughed.

"Nothing is ever easy." He smiled, looking at me like no one had ever before. The effect was very disarming.

We were at a very noisy and smoky bar downtown Virginia but I felt like we were the only two people in the room. So many people at the bar that night yet I was drawn to him. Like a moth to a flame, just like how romantics would put it.

He reached out for my hand.

"How come I've never met you before?" he suddenly looked at me intently.

I was asking the same question myself. How come I'd never come across him before? Why did it take twenty-one years?

"I don't know." I shrugged, ignoring the thumping feeling on my chest. It was all new to me.

"How could I have been so lucky?" he smiled.

I tried in the best of all my abilities to hide the jitteriness I was feeling at that moment. I'd been attracted to guys before but never had I felt the metaphorical butterflies in my stomach. Until I met him.

It had been a month since the last time I ever spoke to him. I'd never thought I'd be the girl who had her phone with her at all times, constantly and agitatedly checking it for a message from a guy she met at a bar. How cliché, right? The purpose of me avoiding the dating scene for all those years was for me not to end up in this same situation. I guessed no girl could ever be immune to this. I let my guard down once and it got me here.

"He's probably got a girlfriend. Or married. Or boring when sober. You're better off without him." Macey brushed a loose hair back to my ear.

I just didn't get it. How could a connection like that mean nothing for anybody? I was hell sure it wasn't just me who felt it. No one would just stay up until seven in the morning talking and laughing with a girl if it didn't mean anything.

The last message he sent me was that he was flying himself to Florida. Yes, flying himself. I knew he was probably messing with me but he sent me a picture of this tiny little plane. It could have been a fake, obviously. I wasn't that stupid. But as a lovesick girl, I chose to believe that it was my truth.

"Cammie," Macey looked at me. "It has been three weeks…if the guy wants to be in your life, he'll do everything to be in it."

She was right. All these days had been about me justifying his sudden loss of interest in communicating with me. It had been about me trying to make excuses for him. It didn't even occur to me that maybe he just didn't want me in his life anymore. It was a good three days, he had moved on.

"But…he's it, Macey." I said, half-believing I was actually admitting it to myself. "You keep on asking me all these years why I didn't want to date guys. It's because I've never come across anyone like him. Ever."

She looked me in the eyes. "You know what? The best way to get over somebody is to find a replacement." She smiled. Probably the worst advice ever given to me.

Once you've found the one, you couldn't just replace it. You'd rather be alone than be with anyone else. That was his effect on me. I fucking hated myself probably more than I hated him. There was a reason my friends called me a chameleon. When every single one of my friends had guys in their lives – Macey had been with Boyfriend #6, Bex with Fiancé #2 and Liz with Long-time Boyfriend #1 – I had managed to alienate myself from every single guy who showed interest. I was considered the smart one when it came to boys. I was a rational, practical, no-bullshit girl when it came to dating. I just couldn't believe that in three days, a guy just took all that from me.

"Come on, sweetie. We're going out tonight." She stood up and reached for my hand.

That was the last time she and I ever spoke of Zach Goode. But certainly not the last time I thought about him.