The next morning the girls woke to the dulcet tones of Barbra Streisand. The song, that is, not the actual Barbra Streisand (unfortunately). Jackie had once again set the alarm, and, once again, it sent Lydia into a small fit of rage induced by a lack of caffeine and upbeat music at seemingly ungodly hours of the morning.
"Jackie, did I not JUST tell you yesterday that you weren't ever allowed to pick the alarm song EVER again? And besides, I thought I picked some Streetlight Manifesto to wake up to this morning. . ." Lydia grumbles crossly at Jackie.
"A magician never reveals their secrets. . ." Jackie wiggles her eyebrows and leaps out of bed, dancing along to the peppy techno music still blasting from the speakers, "FIRST SHOWER!" she shouts, meandering over to the bathroom.
"This bitch. Picks that damn song for us to wake up to and then has the NERVE to take the first shower? I could strangle her," Sarah rolls her eyes good-naturedly. Lydia responds by lunging at the alarm radio to change the song. The next song that came up was too perfect to be real. As the piano kicked off, the girls exchanged a look that clearly said 'Let's do this.'
"Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound" Sarah begins to sing, loudly and off-key, leaping out of bed and pointing at Lydia to continue.
"Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd" Lydia continues, much the improvement from Sarah's hopeless crooning.
"And I need you If I could fall
And I miss you
And now I wonder...
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight"
"Well that woke me up better than caffeine ever could," Lydia laughed, gathering her things for the day.
"Got that right. We should start the day with an epic sing along err'day!" Sarah said excitedly, beginning to pull clothes, makeup, and hair products from her bag. Just then Jackie burst open the doors of the bathroom, steam pouring out into their room.
"Did my ears deceive me or did y'all have an epic sing along without me?" Jackie mock-glared at her two friends.
"That's what you get for waking us up with frickin BARBRA STREISAND and then taking FIRST SHOWER." Lydia sticks her tongue out, running into the bathroom to shower.
"I regret nothing." Jackie simply states before getting ready for the school day. Sarah simply rolls her eyes and chuckles, idly chatting with her friend while the three continued with their respectful morning routines. In less than an hour and a half (read: NEW RECORD) the girls were dressed and ready to head down for breakfast. They wander down to the great hall, taking in all the sights that the magical castle had to offer, basking in the memories they've made in their previous years and plotting memories yet to come.
"Oh my god, you guys I just realized something," Lydia stopped them all in their tracks just outside of the great hall. Jackie and Sarah gave her a puzzled look as if to say 'go on,' "I made out with Ron last night and I didn't even say anything to him after. What am I gonna do? He probably thinks I'm crazy!" Lydia began having a mini panic attack.
"Whoa! Bro! First of all, after all the creepy random stuff you said to him before I'm pretty sure that he thought you were crazy before you mauled him with your lips. Second of all, stop being a pansy-"
"-I RESENT THAT" Pansy screamed from somewhere. The group of friends looked around wildly, trying to find the devious bitch that was Pansy Parkinson, before Sarah continued on.
"Anyways, stop being a pansy and get in there. Ignoring him won't do anyone any good at all," Sarah points out.
"Wow, Sarah. You certainly know how to give an encouraging pep talk," Lydia says sarcastically, before taking Sarah's advice and continuing into the great hall nonetheless. The girls marched up to the already crowded Gryffindor table and squeezed themselves in wherever they could. This also meant that Lydia was strategically shoved into the empty seat next to Ron by Sarah and Jackie. Sarah maneuvered herself between Oliver and Harry and Jackie was forced practically into the lap of Fred. Not that she minded, though ;). While most may have expected this layout to be awkward, it most certainly was not. The group chattered about inane things, carefully skirting around the topic that was their impromptu game of spin the bottle the previous night. That is, until someone made things slightly awkward.
"You're a really good kisser, Lydia" Ron blurted randomly while Lydia was in mid-bite of her porridge. Her spoon dropped back down to the bowl, effectively sending bits of her breakfast into the Creevey brothers' faces. Her mouth was open wide enough to catch flies, and her eyes were equally as big. Jackie kicked her under the table, encouraging her to say something.
"Thanks, I practice on my hand sometimes," Lydia says. Sarah mentally (and physically) face palms. What a dinkus.
"Umm, that's great? Well, what I was trying to say was, uh. . .well, I really like it when you kiss me. I mean, uh, I wouldn't mind doing it again. A lot. Maybe. I don't know-" Ron babbles before he is interrupted.
"Ron, do you wanna be my boyfriend?" Lydia (finally) comes back to her senses, and quite unexpectedly asks Ron this straightforward question.
"Um, yes, I believe that's what I've been trying to get at. Thank you, Lydia. I would love to be your boyfriend," Ron grins giddily.
"So, uh, how 'bout that kissing schtuff you were on about earlier?" Lydia says, only mildly awkward. Ron obliges and Sarah and Jackie whoop embarrassingly loud. What an unexpected turn of events! After about 10 minutes of heated snogging between Ron and Lydia, Jackie and Sarah tore them apart so they wouldn't be late to Potions.
"I wonder what we're going to do in Severus' class today." Sarah asked with a twinkle in her eye.
"Can you please not call Snape, Severus it's beyond creepy," whined Lydia. Jackie added in a nod to show that she thought it was just as disgusting.
"I don't understand why it is so creepy? He's so ridiculously attractive and brilliant and his eyes are…"
"STOP, YOU JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF STALKER!" Lydia yelled. At that point they had luckily reached Snape's class.
"I see you all finally decided to join the rest of the class, 10 minutes late. 10 points from Gryffindor for each of you. Sit down." Snape demanded.
"We're so sorry," Sarah said batting her eyelashes. Lydia then pinched Sarah's arm and dragged her to the three's seat. Snape then proceeded to talk about who knows what.
"He's sounds so sexy when he talks about Potions," Sarah whispered to Jackie and Lydia who sat right next to her.
"Seriously?" Lydia looked at Sarah in disgust.
"No. You know who's sexy?" Jackie raised her eyebrows.
"Ooh, who?" Lydia asked seeming interested.
"The kid sitting over there," Jackie pointed across the room very vaguely. Lydia gazed over.
"Seamus, yeah he's pretty cute," Lydia reasoned.
"NO, not Seamus! The kid next to him!" Jackie pointed again.
"EEW, CORMAC MCLAGGEN!" Lydia yelled.
Snape shot a dirty look to them, "I suppose you want to share with the class what you three were talking about. Seeming as it cannot wait until after class."
"I was saying… uhm," Lydia started to rattle her brain for an excuse.
"We like Cormac's haircut," Jackie jumped in.
"Hey, thanks!" Cormac shouted across the room with a wink proceeding.
"THAT'S ENOUGH! 50 points from Gryffindor!"
The rest of class they all remained silent. Lydia and Jackie decided to sleep and Sarah decided to write Sarah Marie Snape all over her journal. After 30 minutes of Snape rambling, class was finally over. Sarah then managed to shake Lydia and Jackie awake and they left miserable like always.
"That class gets worse and worse everyday!" Jackie complained.
"Don't talk about Sever… Snape's class like that," Sarah cried, "It is very insightful and interesting."
"Good joke Sarah, that was almost as funny as the dead parents bit my mom and dad did." Lydia said sarcastically. Cormac then walked by and Jackie drooled all over herself (not really) but her mouth watered up.
"OH MY GOD, he's gorgeous!" Jackie exclaimed. At that point Fred and George had met up with the girls.
"You must be talking about me," Fred laughed adding in creating a really awkward silence. "Okay, I guess that was a bad joke." Again awkward silence. "I'll just stop talking." They walked back to the Common Room together dead silent. They all sat down in the Common Room and then George decided to break the silence, "So who's up for another round of spin the bottle?" No one seemed to be up for anything since the first awkward silence. "No takers, okay. Uhm, how was everyone's day?"
"Pretty chill, Severus looked so fine today," Sarah said with a devilish look on her face.
"You're gross," George said blankly. "Anyone else? How about you Jackie?"
"Uhm, okay. I don't know, pretty good at best."
"You know what, I think I am going to go upstairs. The vibe in this room is bringing me down," George said, disappointed in his usually exciting friends and brother.
"Ya hear that? The vibe in this room is bringing him down. What is he, a VIBE-RATER!" Sarah joked. Jackie and Lydia laughed hysterically at the semi-sexual joke, but Fred seemed to be in the dark.
"I don't get it. Why's that funny?" Fred obviously seemed to be unfamiliar with muggle-oriented naughty toys.
"YOU'RE SO DUMB! AHAHAHA!" shouted Jackie, obviously still laughing like a hyena on Novocain. This drove Fred to leave the room as well, probably to find his counter-part.
"Man, Jackie, for having a thing for Fred, you sure are a bitch to him." commented Lydia.
"A thing for Fred? Nah, I've moved onto bigger and better things. And you know what bigger and better things rhymes with? Cormac McLaggen. I'd like to cover him in chocolate and make out with his face." Jackie…er, explained.
"Jackie, I won't even begin to tell you all the things wrong with that sentence." Sarah, again, mentally face-palmed.
"Well, I will! First, your literary skills must be askew, because Cormac McLaggen, in no way, rhymes with 'bigger and better things'. Second, I'm pretty sure Fred is taller than Cormac, making him bigger, and Fred is way nicer and funnier, making him BETTER. Lastly, cover him in chocolate…Jackie, it's just not right." Lydia extrapolated, maybe slightly bitch-like.
"I chose not to listen to anything you just said and fantasize about Cormac in a bathtub full of Bertie Bott's. Me-yow." Sarah and Lydia simultaneously gagged, as the image was forcibly inserted into their heads by Jackie.
"This room is filled with too many mental images of Cormac and candy. Let's go down to the lake, I'm feeling nautical." Lydia suggested. Jackie and Sarah agreed.
The girls made their way down to the Black Lake, passing Professor Flitwick and saying how they'd like to put a sombrero filled with chips and salsa on his head and make him walk around at parties, and as they did not wait to do this until he was out of earshot, got 30 points deducted from Gryffindor.
"At this rate, we'll be in the negative zone by the end of the year. You think we'll have an angry mob after us?" asked Jackie.
"I don't know, but if we do, I hope they have torches and pitchforks. It has always been a dream of mine to be chased by an authentic angry mob." Lydia's eyes glazed over as she said this. Jackie and Sarah face-palmed. They arrived at the Black Lake, and proceeded to reminisce about their previous memories sitting right there, at the shore of the lake.
"Do you guys remember that time we threw Colin Creevey into the lake after telling him about the squid?" Sarah inquired. How could they forget? It was a sunny day, just like any other. The girls were in their third year, and Colin in his second. He had not yet reached his growth spurt, and the girls were much taller than him. They made up a story about how dozens of kids get eaten by the squid each year, and proceeded to lift him up and throw him into the lake. Truly, it was golden.
"I can still remember the look on his face. Ah, good times." Lydia said. Needless to say, the girls were exceptional bullies.
After the three had decided to remove their shoes and socks and wade in the water, they saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione walk down to where they were situated.
"Hey, ladies!" Sarah called to them.
"Hey, don't you call my man a lady! He's allllllllllllllll Y chromosome." Lydia nodded, as she made something not very sexual into something sexual.
The girls walked slowly back to dry land to say 'hi' to Ron and Harry, and further ignore Hermione's existence. Lydia's 'hi' to Ron was a little more intimate than the other girls', as she jumped on top of him, screaming "BABY!" and went on to snog him fiercely.
"Merlin's beard, you guys are like rabbits! Cut it out!" Jackie yelled, kicking Lydia and Ron.
"You're just jelly because you can't do that with Cormac!" Lydia shot back. Harry, Ron, and Hermy-one donned disgusted faces. They all shared similar views of Cormac, except for Jackie, who only cared about outer beauty. Jackie was obviously fantasizing again, as she started to lick her lips lower her eyelids.
"Uh, Jackie, do you want us to leave you alone for a few moments?" Harry asked, concerned for her sanity.
"Yes. No. Later. Get off my back! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!" At this point, they all feared for Jackie's sanity. Deciding that they had had enough outdoors for the day, they walked back to the Common Room, and in jealousy of her friends previous sing-a-long, Jackie sang 'A Thousand Miles' rather loudly, as she cried a little bit. Jackie Progiciel was a character. I mean. They all were, but Jackie especially.