I won't even lie, the immediate support that the few of you gave when I put out that first chapter last night...that was awesome. Like, I didn't expect an outpouring of support at all, much less that quickly. Thanks, truly.

Review response time!

1. Hanmac: She's healed completely, though she's suffering nerve damage and can't feel the entirety of either leg. Sucks to have your legs crushed, eh?

2. Winter Arctica: Naruto's timeline is a goddamn nightmare. I disregarded it for a long time because it didn't make any sense, but honest to god...and yeah, I (along with most people, I think) hate Naruto's grandstanding and complaining from early in the series. Sasuke, on the other hand, is one of my favorite characters, and I honestly feel like mid- and late-series really did him dirty.

3. OneLunchMan: Thanks for the compliment! I've been developing my style for years now. Look back at some of my earlier stories and you'll see what I mean; while I'm not as bad as a lot of beginners on this site were, because I was writing before I joined, you can see a huge leap in progress from Shinigami Kitsune to this story, or As Long as the Raven Flies. I do my best to provide quality, though I know my shortcomings with the craft.

4. draven32: I'm not going to lie, it's very ironic that you said that. Imagery, and the description therein, is probably the thing I consider myself best at. One of the reasons I use a large amount of dialogue is because the characters' spoken words are supposed to imply how they feel, as well as what they think. It's more fun for me than writing it out and running out of descriptive words.

This may come off rude, but it's not the job of the author to give a description for everything a character does. It's important when you're writing a fight, but in dialogue, the reader should generally be able to imply things like tone or sarcasm. This isn't an, "I'll write my story how I goddamn please," it's more of an, "I'm fully aware of what I'm doing, and that some readers may not be able to pick up on more subtle nuances."

...

I'll try to keep my ANs short from now on, disregarding review responses. That 600-ish one last chapter was a bit outlandish for me. Now, time to invent what happens next, and as always:

Let's get this trainwreck moving.

"This is where you live." She couldn't believe what she was looking at. "You, as an active-duty ninja with a bigass paycheck every time you complete a mission, live in the slums in a fuckin'...what is this, a whorehouse?"

"Poor manners. If you believe the owner, not that I trust a word she says beyond 'your rent is due next week,' then this is what you'd refer to as a 'gentleman's club.'"

"Gentle, my ass. I know the kind of guys who show up to these places."

"Yeah, that's why she wanted a ninja living on the third floor. First floor is the business floor and her office, second floor is living quarters for the girls whenever they need it, third floor is my room. Lady who runs it didn't give a shit who I was, all she wanted to know was whether I could stop fights or get rid of the more unruly customers without damaging the building. It helped her decision that I offered to repair the building and pay the girls for lost wages out of pocket in the event that I ever did manage to put a hole or twelve in there."

"Really, piss-brain? That's...that's really fuckin' nice of you. Who the fuck are you, a saint?"

"No." He said. "I'm just an orphan who knows a little too well what it's like to not know where you'll be able to sleep tomorrow night, or where your food will come from. Most of those scars you saw weren't done to me by ninja." With that, they were at the door, and Naruto swung it open.

It was before business hours, but the women inside were setting up for later tonight. That all changed when they saw him, however.

"Naru-chan!" One particularly buxom woman nearly squealed, burying him in her cleavage and spinning him.

"No fair, Chichi, you'll kill him before the rest of us can say hi!"

The blond, who was turning blue in the face from lack of oxygen, managed to extricate himself.

"Hey, did I tell you? Mission success!" He exclaimed with pride. "I managed to drag that stupid kid's ass right back to the village!"

"Naruto...aren't you a self-proclaimed 'stupid kid,' too?" One of the other women asked him, laughing.

"Yeah, but I'm older, so he's dumber by virtue of age!"

Tayuya watched the scene unfold, comically, as Naruto seemed to put on a show that was completely different from the mostly-serious persona she'd seen so far.

"Who's the girl, Naruto?" One of them said, pointing back towards Tayuya.

"She's gonna be living with me!" He said, clearly not having thought through the consequences.

"Did you hear that, girls?" An older woman walked out from the back of the building, holding an old leather-bound book in one hand. This was the business' owner. "Our little fishcake has a girlfriend, time to give up on making him yours!"

"She is not!"

"I am not!" Their dual proclamation was simultaneous, coming amid soft gasps of excitement and mock disappointment.

"Not helping your case, little fish." The owner said. "If you didn't want her to be seen, you should have just gone to the top floor. I know you can jump that high, I've seen you do it."

"Yeah, that's because there's something you need to know. Technically, the fact that she's staying with me is a really big secret...so if anyone comes looking for her, or someone who looks like her, then she's not here, okay? I'm sorry for the trouble!"

"Don't worry, Naru-chan! Chichi okaa-san will take care of your secret!" The other brothel-workers agreed after her.

He smiled politely. "Thanks! Now, Tayuya-chan, come with me!"

He grabbed her hand and pulled, the redhead stumbling as she followed along.

"Goddamn, piss-for-brains, my legs just healed! Do you want me back in the hospital again?"

The women all watched with smiles on their faces; they knew it would do the boy a world of good to keep more company, even if the only company to be found looked like she was the one person on earth who was louder than him.

"Think he'll be the same way once she manages to worm her way into his pants?"

"That's rude, Kasumi...worried about how she might be getting special treatment now? Jealous, even?"

"Sh-sh-shut up!"

"Wow, this is pretty big."

"Yeah, it's a lot nicer than some other places I've lived. Kitchen's on the left, bathroom to the right, bedroom is straight back and has another bathroom attached."

"Why is there a door coming out of the wall, though?"

"Oh, that? Don't worry. It's a foot thick, made of chakra-proof metal, and it only unlocks from the inside. It's so I can get in without always having to go up the stairs. Wall-walking is pretty easy once you've gotten the hang of it."

That was good enough, Tayuya told herself. No possibility of attack meant that safety was relatively assured. Not paying much attention to her surroundings, she began to walk toward the bedroom.

"You hungry?" He offered, walking over to the fridge. When no response was given, he turned around and saw her go into his bedroom.

Following after her, he watched her flop down on the bed.

"Why are you so goddamn nice?" She asked, shocking him a little bit. "You should hate this whole fuckin' village. You should hate me. Why the hell don't you?"

"I'd rather see the good in people."

He laid down next to her on the bed, looking up at his ceiling. Clean, not leaking, no moldy patches. It was nice.

"I've been hurt a lot, but I'm a reaction, not an action. The people who gave me these scars weren't thinking clearly, they were blinded by grief. I don't like what it did to me, but I forgave them a long time ago. When the orphanage kicked me out, the Sandaime tried to find reasoning to get the man in charge kicked out based on bias against me, but every orphanage in this village was overflowing after the Kyuubi attacked. They really just didn't have enough room. Besides, having that damn fox sealed off inside me has its advantages.

"I can miss five meals before I really get hungry, and my body temperature stays the same no matter what climate I'm in. It also overloads my chakra system to hell, so the only techniques I'm able to control well are the ones that expend enough chakra to exhaust most normal ninja's reserves. Chakra's more dense, too, which makes all my attacks stronger."

"You're too good, piss-brain. There's a line between being kind and letting other people take advantage of you. You're so far past that line, you looped back around just to shove it up your ass."

Naruto did his best not to let the swearing bother him.

"So what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, shithead. You're technically my prison guard, gilded as this jail may be. You're in charge."

"I'm no good at being in charge, though. Both my teachers say I'm too indecisive, and hot-headed."

"That's bullshit, you can't be both of those."

"Just watch me for however long we're stuck like this, then. You'll get it."

"...fuck, I'm hungry."

"I've got some leftovers in the fridge, I was trying to ask if you wanted them before you came in here."

"Well, fuck, didn't hear you. That was nice of you, piss-brain. Still, I wanted to see how you'd act when I did this."

"What, lay down in a bed?" He looked over to her.

"Yeah. We're gonna be sharing it, so I figured I should see how you'd react to me being in it."

"We're gonna do what now?"

"It's your fuckin' room, you're not sleeping on a couch or the floor. I ain't willing to either, so you're just gonna have to suck it up, because we're either gonna be sharing it like this..." Without warning, she rolled on top of him, hands on either side of his head and one of her legs between his. "...or like this. Your choice."

His hand moved up to her shoulder, and with a flick of his wrist she was facing up at the ceiling, laying beside him again.

"You're nuts, piss-brain, you know that?"

"Oh, you have no idea." He laughed. "Give me a minute, I'll go heat up some food. Come out when you're ready."

The meal was simple, just chicken and vegetables with rice. Still, for someone who was used to poorly-flavored gruel or meals that had most of the nutrition boiled out of them, it was fantastic.

A knock on the inside door alerted them, and Naruto stood. "I'll get it, you keep eating."

Naruto opened the door, and found Jiraiya.

"Hey, Ero-sennin. What's up?"

"Not much. I see you have a friend." The older man sighed inwardly, knowing it would probably be a long road to the point where Naruto referred to him with any sort of respect.

"Yeah...obaa-chan's orders."

"I know, kid. Still, I'm here because I got permission from her to go on a training trip with you."

"Define, 'training trip,' you pervert. I'm not going on a tour of the Elemental Nations to spy on womens' hot springs."

"As fantastic as that idea you've just given me may be, I mean it the way it sounds. I'll be training you while we're on the move, it'll keep the Akatsuki off your back, and as a bonus, we may be able to destroy some of Orochimaru's old bases on the way. Might even learn something or another from them?"

"You said what now?" Tayuya stood, a stern look on her face.

"I said we'll be ransacking Orochimaru's bases on the-" Jiraiya paused for a moment, his face lighting up in realization.

"...I smell a loophole that Ero-sennin is about to leap through."

"You were one of his personal guards." He said, looking at Tayuya. "You know where all of his bases are."

"When do we leave?" She asked.

"I would say, 'right now,' but that knucklehead," Jiraiya pointed to Naruto, "would object. How about...three days?"

"How long will we be gone?" Naruto was the one to ask the other most important question.

"Three years, give or take. There's a lot you need to learn, and a lot that I may not be able to teach you very well. Hopefully, though, you'll be able to pony up and play in the big leagues...Kakashi, Tsunade and I won't be able to protect you forever, especially since you want to take the hat from her. And you." His focus shifted back to Tayuya. "I see no reason to leave you out. Plus, I could see about finding a way to remove the seal that bastard put on you."

"Okay, piss-for-brains, I take it back. You're not too nice. This whole damn village is too nice, and you're just the head of the pack."

"I don't know what to tell you." Naruto shot back. "Blame my tragic backstory that lends itself toward making me a person that wants others to be happy?"

"God, you're sappy. If I get killed because you made me go soft, I'm gonna come back to beat your shitty little ass to death with me."

"Well then, Tayuya-chan~, I guess I'll just have to protect you!" His sing-song voice was mocking.

"You little shit!"

Jiraiya smiled, almost content enough to close his eyes; it was like a repetition of the past, with a young Minato and Kushina standing in front of him...thinking of them, however, immediately soured the scene before him. It was a reminder of his failure to them. Their names, right next to each other on the Memorial Stone, were a permanent monument to all of his sins.

"I just wanted to deliver the news." He said. "I'll meet you by the East Gate, in three days, at noon. I'll let Tsunade know you'll be coming with us, Tayuya."

He turned and walked out, closing the door behind him.

The East Gate...that brought back memories for Naruto. The battle against Gaara, transformed in a full possession mode by the Ichibi. Defeating it had earned him his promotion to Chunin. Hell, anybody who could beat a Biju was worthy of Jonin status as far as threat level was concerned, but he wasn't going to complain. If nobody knew how dangerous he was, then nobody would ever expect to die at his hands.

And, as it turned out, people were pretty good at dying when he was the one killing them. Gato had found that out first-hand. The despotic merchant arrived just a few minutes early, just close enough that Naruto's heightened senses, along with Kakashi and Zabuza's war-raised abilities, had been able to pick him out...and the army of mercenaries he'd brought with him had been a fair clue, as well.

That was the day that gave the Kyuubi a level of respect for Naruto, his battle against the Kirigakure nukenin abandoned at the revelation of Gato's betrayal.

"Change of plans," Kakashi had said. "They're on our side now."

"Haku, the mission is dead. Time to cut our losses...and our employer."

Naruto hadn't needed to be told twice, three steps of his demon miasma-enhanced chakra bounding him forward so that he could crash headlong into the mercenaries' front ranks.

That had been a good day.

"Hey, piss-for-brains." Tayuya's voice brought him back to the present. "Did something feel off about him, right at the end?"

"Eh, sort of? He changes moods a lot when I'm around. Couldn't tell you why, though."

"It seemed like he got really sad, all of a sudden. Your guess is as fuckin' good as mine."

Leaving the mystery behind, they went back to their meal.

Once the sun had set, after all had been said and done, Jiraiya had come to visit Tsunade in her office while nobody could possibly interrupt their conversation.

"I hate you. You and your goddamn loopholes. You know that, you perverted toad?"

"Think about it, though. This gets Naruto out and about so that he can actually learn something about the world beyond the missions when you allow him outside these walls on your orders, and it keeps Tayuya from potentially falling into Danzo's hands."

"Because the possibility of Orochimaru retaking her is the lesser of two evils?" Tsunade nearly shrieked, a titanium ball being crushed under her hand.

"Yes, actually." The look he gave her said that the question wasn't up for discussion, regardless of who technically outranked whom. Tsunade knew that if the chips were down, and it really came to blows, Jiraiya could wipe the floor with her. Years of dodging her attacks in their childhood training had made him fast. Still, disgruntled as she was, she allowed herself to move on.

"My informant told me that the Akatsuki won't start to move for another three years. That gives me a limited window of time to really teach him...whether it's about Fuinjutsu, his contract with the toads, mastering the Biju inside of him, or even just general jutsu techniques and physical training? He needs to learn it, and I'm the only one who can teach him." His arms crossed in front of his chest, the grim countenance he'd taken on was the same as Tsunade remembered it.

This was the Jiraiya who wouldn't take, "no," for an answer. This was the Jiraiya who had appeared on missions during the Second War, who had broken his back to stop a boulder from crushing her head, who had made himself bait so that she and Orochimaru could run for help and then broke hell loose because he didn't have to worry about protecting his weaker, faster, smarter comrades. If she tried to forbid him from doing this, he would disregard her authority and go behind her back.

Jiraiya had stopped being afraid a long, long time ago. He didn't fear death, and he was no longer scared of losing anyone else close to him. Not since Minato and Kushina died, followed by Orochimaru's discovery and defection. He could easily go rogue, and she doubted that anyone in Konoha would be able to stop him or bring him back in if he did. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that he would go whether she allowed it or not.

"Tsunade."

There was silence for a minute, and he tensed reflexively when she reached for a drawer at her desk, but he relaxed when it turned out to be nothing more than a large bottle of sake and her own personal drinking cup.

"Did it hurt you as much as it hurt me, watching them?"

"You didn't spend time with Minato and Kushina. Not like I did."

"I was still around them, though. Even Orochimaru admitted that they were very..."

"They were perfect for one another, and everybody knew it. They were twenty-two, Tsunade. They had been married for three years, they were about to start raising a family, and one night ripped them both from the face of the earth. No matter what, I will not let that happen to their son. They named me his godfather, and it's about goddamn time I start acting like one. He is coming with me, and so is the girl. That's the end of the discussion, and I don't give a damn if you put a page out for me in the Bingo Book. In three days, I'm taking those kids out of this village of bad memories and shattered dreams. Danzo started the Ne corps because he wanted to protect Konoha, whether or not people knew. Orochimaru began his experiments because he wanted the tragedies that happened in the Second and Third Wars, and the Kyuubi attack, to be relegated to history. Itachi worked his way through the ranks of our shinobi because he wanted to tie his clan more closely to the village, rather than instigating a revolt."

He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Naruto wants to become Hokage so that he can protect the people who have shunned him, spit on him, cursed his name and attacked him since he was old enough to act for himself. I'm not going to let his good intentions become another failure, another horror story, another bitter stain in the pages of Konoha's history."