Hello all, I'm back! Told you I'd be posting quicker now that school's ended for the semester! Now, onto the chapter with !MovieCanonDivergence and !AngstandFeelsGalore and !EverythingGoingWrong
(Literally, Civil War should have either been called "No Conversations: the Movie" or "Everything Goes Wrong: the Movie")
I have to credit OrderoftheAether for her inspiration and help with Ross' dialogue below. It came out of a late-night PM where we were discussing how to mesh canon with ChristyVerse. Thanks, Order!
Anyway, on with the chapter! Enjoy!
Bonus points if you can spot the covert Lord of the Rings line usage...
Chapter Two
Ever since taking up the mantle of Captain America, Steve had shouldered many burdens: physical, mental, and emotional. He would willingly testify that the emotional burdens always outclassed the physical ones.
Sometimes, though, the categories overlapped. Like this morning.
Peggy Carter's funeral was being held in a gorgeous old church: wooden pews, stained glass, an organ— the whole nine yards. A children's choir was softly singing, and Steve shouldered what felt like the heaviest burden of his life.
Physically, he was more than capable of carrying his share of the large wooden coffin. But his emotional and mental state was taking its toll. Practically the only thing that kept him upright was the knowledge that Bucky and Sam were waiting for him in the front pew.
Not Christy, though. There was too much going on, what with the Accords and everything else. He didn't want her out of the country, though her presence would have given him comfort. But right now, she was safe and sound, back at the base. Last he'd known, Vision, Natasha, and the twins were still there. He'd simply told them all that, should they decide to sign the Accords, Christy was to stay with the Bartons, but there was no sense moving her around unless they were absolutely not going to be in-country.
(Besides, something told him that wild horses couldn't make Pietro sign those Accords. And where Pietro went, his twin was bound to follow.)
He managed to carry the coffin up to the front of the church, and staggered to his seat between Bucky and Sam like a dead man. His chest felt like a giant, throbbing ball of pain.
He was so out of it, he barely heard the archbishop say, "And now, I would like to invite Sharon Carter to say a few words." And even then, he really didn't notice the woman until Sam gave him a gentle nudge. Upon looking up in sulky stare, he almost gasped.
It was her. The "friendly neighbor" from D.C. who'd turned out to be a SHIELD agent and was now working for the CIA last he knew. A weird mixture of pleasure, shock, and annoyance worked its way through him.
Wait, did the archbishop say Sharon Carter?
"Margaret Carter was known by most as the founder of SHIELD." the woman began. "But I just knew her as Aunt Peggy."
Steve felt like someone had set a firework off in his brain.
Why didn't you say anything? He pleaded mentally.
"She had a photograph in her office," Sharon continued. "Aunt Peggy standing next to JFK. As a kid that was pretty cool. But it was a lot to live up to, which is why I never told anyone we were related."
She was looking straight at him, so clearly she had caught some of his expression.
Bucky leaned over. "Was this the girl you told me about…the one next door?"
Steve nodded, in answer to Bucky's question, and in acquiescence of Sharon's covert explanation.
"I asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage at a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either. And she said, 'Compromise where you can. Where you can't, don't. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say, 'No, you move'.'"
Like a tree beside the river of truth… Steve filled in mentally. Peggy had said something similar to him once.
Even if the whole world says that something wrong is something right…or even that something not quite good is something right…you have to take a stand.
Plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world, "No, you move."
Steve let out a brief sigh. Even beyond the grave, Peggy was still helping him make sense of this crazy new world.
I can't compromise, Peg. Not this time. I think you'd understand. I just…can't.
After the funeral, Steve spent a few moments by himself in the empty church. Bucky and Sam had discreetly gone back to the hotel, giving him some privacy.
"Hey…" a voice said quietly. It was Natasha.
Steve glanced up at his friend. "Whatever you do, don't say you're sorry for my loss."
Natasha gave a pained smile. "Since when do I use clichés? That's Tony's style." She looked around. "Where's your entourage?" she asked gently.
That made Steve smile a bit. "They went back to the hotel. Thought they'd give me some time alone." He frowned. "Where are you headed?"
Natasha sighed. "I'm off to Vienna, for the signing of the accords."
"Who else signed?" Steve wanted to know.
"Tony, Rhodey...Vision."
The list was a good deal smaller than Steve had been expecting.
"Bruce?"
Natasha shook her head. "We talked. He says he's staying on the down-low until this whole thing gets less…ugly. And I don't blame him for not wanting to sign."
"The twins?"
Natasha smirked. "TBD, but if you ask me, it's not happening. I think Pietro made his point pretty eloquently. So Christy's with them at the base. If they change their minds, I told them to call you and drop her at Clint's."
"What about Clint?"
"Says he's 'retired'." The sly look on Natasha's face told how little credence she gave that statement.
Steve sighed. It seemed the Avengers were split right down the middle. He knew Bucky and Sam would never sign unless he did.
"There's still plenty of room on the jet." Natasha said encouragingly. "If you go, they'll all go, you know it. We need to stay together…frankly, we're all the family we've got. Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's wrong."
Steve knew that. He knew it very well. Stubbornness wasn't always a friend.
And he knew that Natasha's words would sound like wisdom, but for the warning in his heart.
"I'm sorry, Nat." he said quietly. "I can't sign it."
Natasha nodded. "I know."
Steve looked confused. "Then why did you come here?"
In answer, Natasha took a step closer.
"Because I didn't want you to be alone."
She wrapped her arms around him, and they stayed like that for several minutes. When they finally broke apart, both their eyes were wet.
"Hey, I saw Sharon out in the front." Natasha said. "She looked like she was going to be there for a bit. Why don't you go say hello?"
Steve groaned. "Still obsessed with my love life, Romanoff?"
Natasha grinned. "Always." Because you deserve some happiness in this screwed up world, Steve Rogers. You deserve as much happiness as you can grab…
Sharon sighed a bit as none other than Steve Rogers walked up to her in the church entryway. She definitely had some explaining to do. He had looked like a kicked puppy after she'd announced she was Peggy Carter's niece.
"So…you want that cup of coffee now?" he asked, glancing down bashfully.
Sharon gave him an embarrassed smile of her own. "How about we trade? A…a cup of coffee for an explanation. And maybe an apology. I think I'm a bit overdue for both, and…you deserve them."
Steve gave a small, genuine smile. "I'd like that. Where are you staying?"
When Sharon named her hotel, his smile got even bigger. "I'm staying there, too." he held out his hand in a gentlemanly fashion. "I think the hotel lobby has coffee. Want an escort?"
Sharon reached out and took the offered hand. "Yeah…that'd be nice."
The first few minutes of walking were near silent, until she finally broke it. "Well, to start with the biggest elephant in the room…I really am sorry I couldn't tell you I was working for SHIELD. And I wasn't…wasn't trying to…"
"Spy on me?" Steve finished. There was no reproof in his voice, only understanding. "Yeah you were. But it was your job. I get it."
Sharon sighed. "Fury wanted tabs on you the same way he kept tabs on everybody, and that's the attitude I went into it with. But you were so nice…"
"I've been told it's one of my better qualities." Steve volleyed back.
"I felt really terrible about it, but there was no good way to let you know. And then that night…"
"There was no time." Steve nodded. "I know. Like I said, I get it. Apology accepted." He glanced at her curiously. "If you don't mind my asking…?"
"Yes?"
"What do you…?" he stopped.
He wanted to ask her what she remembered of Peggy. Badly. But that wasn't fair to her, or to him, in all honesty.
It wasn't honoring or kind to Sharon to treat her like an extension of Peggy. If he was going to take Natasha's advice and go after this girl, he had to do it for her, not because of who she was related to.
After all, he understood the pain that came for being seen as something other than yourself. Captain America was not Steve Rogers.
"Tell me about how you got mixed up with SHIELD." he said. "I wanna know everything."
Sharon looked pleased and surprised. Slowly, she started to unpack her life, starting with tales of a quiet but fierce child who was practically weaned on her great-aunt's war stories. By the time they'd gotten back to the hotel and gotten coffee, Steve was fully engrossed.
"Yeah, my mom didn't want me to join up, but Aunt Peggy...she got me my first thigh holster."
Steve grinned. I bet she did. "Very practical."
Sharon laughed a bit. "And stylish."
They made their way over to the elevator.
"Thanks for walking me back." Sharon said.
"No problem. So, the CIA have you stationed here now?"
"In Berlin. Joint Terrorism Task Force."
"Right, right. Sounds fun."
"I know, right?"
Steve glanced down. "I've been meaning to ask you...when you were...spying on me from across the hall..."
"You mean when I was doing my job?" Sharon argued teasingly
"Did Peggy know?"
Sharon breathed out a sigh. "She kept so many secrets…I didn't want her to have one from you."
Steve nodded, grateful. They were just about to get in the elevator when Sam suddenly materialized behind them.
"Steve…there's something you've gotta see."
"But I didn't do it!" Bucky cried, half exasperated, half terrified.
The four of them were huddled in the boys' hotel room. Sharon was on the phone with her boss and the TV blared in the background.
"Well, obviously." Sam muttered.
There had been a bombing at the UN Headquarters in Vienna, where the Accords were being signed. Ten people, including the Wakandan King T'Chaka, who'd pushed for the Accords, had been killed. Many were injured. Video footage had been caught of the perpetrator.
And the perpetrator, according to the news, was none other than one James Buchanan Barnes.
Steve took a deep breath and tried to still his shaking hands. He'd already called the twins; they hadn't gone to Vienna. They were still at the base with Christy. Vision was already back as well. Tony and Rhodey were also apparently fine. That just left Nat to call…
Sharon got off the phone. "Okay…" she said slowly. "Let's try to think about this logically."
"I didn't do it." Bucky said, feeling like a broken record.
"That's a given." Sharon said kindly, still trying to come to grips with the fact that the Winter Soldier was two feet away from her. Steve had sputtered out a hasty explanation about his recovery process, and Sharon was prepared to take him at his word. Besides, this man very little resembled the fierce figure that had "killed" Nick Fury.
Still…
"Okay." Sam said. "I know that Bucky didn't do it. I've been with him all day. You two know he didn't do it. That's us three against…"
"The word of security cameras and eyewitness testimony and government officials everywhere." Steve said bitterly. "We don't stand a chance of being believed."
"So whoever this guy is, he probably has access to facial technology, some kind of mask." Sharon said. "He's familiar enough with HYDRA to frame the Winter Soldier…ex-Winter Soldier."
"We're dealing with someone on a mission." Steve said flatly. "And until we know what his mission is…" he looked at Bucky. "What are you thinking? I'm pretty sure Bruce has room wherever he's holed up."
Sharon decided to pretend she hadn't heard that one.
Never mind that I know ten people who'd love to get their hands on Bruce Banner…what he does is his business.
Fear battled with another unnamed emotion in Bucky's eyes. Finally, the emotion bloomed into full-fledged anger.
"No." he said. "I'm tired of this. I'm no criminal—not now, anyway. I'm done hiding. This is ridiculous. I wanna run…everything in me is saying run. I think I even know a safe house in Romania I could crash at. But it wouldn't do any good. I didn't bomb the Headquarters. I'm not running."
"You're gonna turn yourself in?" Sam asked, since Steve seemed incapable of speech for the moment.
Bucky cast his eyes around. "Whaddaya think?"
"They won't be happy that you've apparently been hiding out under their noses for the past, what, two years?" Sharon said bluntly.
Bucky shrugged. "What can I say? I'm not too trusting of authority. But I'm not gonna be framed for a crime I didn't commit. I've got enough trouble with the ones I did commit."
"Buck…they might lock you up for good." Steve pleaded. "Don't do this. They won't understand…"
"Steve…" Bucky sighed. "I know. But if I run away…how far can I run? And anyway, I don't really wanna. If I turn myself in, then they can get busy looking for the guy that actually did this."
Steve felt torn. He knew that Bucky was right. But everything in his entire being rebelled against letting his friend walk into the den of lions that surely awaited them in Berlin.
"What about…" he stopped short. That was an explanation he owed Sharon.
Luckily, Bucky caught on. "I'm doing this for her. How do you think it's gonna look if she turns on the TV and sees that I apparently bombed the UN, and then she finds out that I cut and run? Nuh-uh, pal. Nice try; bad argument."
Steve looked at Sharon. "Is there someone you can…call? I don't wanna cause a scene."
Sharon nodded. "I can call in a security escort. If you're sure…" she looked at Bucky. "This won't be easy."
Bucky gave her a flashing smile that couldn't quite mask his fear. "Doll, that could be the title of my autobiography."
One day later, Steve sat squished in a police car with Sam and apparently the prince (now king) of Wakanda, and decided that Bucky's autobiography title should apply to all three of them.
"So you like cats?" Sam asked their companion, sounding extremely fed-up with life in general.
"Sam." Steve said, exasperated.
"What?" his friend shot back petulantly. "Dude shows up dressed as a cat, and you don't wanna know more?"
Steve did want to know more. He'd wanted to know more ever since the mysterious black-clad man had met them upon arrival in Germany.
He'd cornered them just as Bucky was about to be escorted to UN Headquarters, and all hell had broken loose. Instinct had taken over for Bucky, and for Steve and Sam. It had turned into a real brawl, though probably not as bad as things could have gone.
And now, Captain America, the paragon of virtue and justice, had gotten himself arrested.
Christy…please know that I have a very good explanation for all of this…
He was more grateful than ever that his daughter was still stateside.
"Your suit." he said to the man, trying to make conversation. "It's Vibranium?"
The prince turned back to look at them. "The Black Panther has been the protector of Wakanda for generations." he said, his voice a slow, melodious cadence. "A mantle passed from warrior to warrior. And now because your friend murdered my father, I also wear the mantle of king. So I ask you, as both warrior and king, how long do you think you can keep your friend safe from me?"
"Okay, first of all, he did not murder your father." Sam said. "He was with us when the bombing happened, so you can cut with your Inigo Montoya shtick…"
"Sam!" Steve said. Being insulting wasn't going to help their cause. "It's true." he added lightly.
The prince's eyes turned stormy. "And why should I believe you? He is your friend, after all. You would want to protect him."
Steve sighed. Clearly, he wasn't going to make any headway with T'Challa.
"Yeah, I would." he admitted quietly. "But he didn't do it."
Bucky sighed. If he shut his eyes, he could pretend he was wrapped in blankets, and not strapped down by heavy leather and machinery.
He could still hear the earlier conversation ringing in his ears. Everett K. Ross, head of the Joint Counter-Terrorism Center, had not been best pleased about his turning up…or, as Sharon had said, that he'd been hiding under their noses for the past two years.
"Yes, alright, he has an alibi for the bombing," he'd exclaimed. "But does nobody care that the good Captain has been offering asylum to a terrorist with a seventy-year kill streak? I don't know what paperwork could possibly have been involved in getting permission to do that, but Mr. Rogers clearly didn't fill out anything of the sort."
Steve had looked two seconds away from saying, "Because I knew something like this would happen!" He'd nearly thrown a fit when he'd seen Bucky fitted into the contraption he was currently strapped into.
"Has no one brought this dangerous criminal in for any sort of punishment? Well, I guess we'll have to take care of it. Besides, that's certainly his face on the camera! Maybe this one is a fake with a silicone face and the real Barnes is out there!"
The man had at that point actually attempted to grab his face, to see if it was a mask. Bucky had just fixed him with his best 'can you believe this guy?' face, while Sam had taken up glaring to kingdom come and Steve had shouted a protest. Those three factors combined had made Ross finally stand down.
"Oh, no, that's his real face. Never mind. Well, maybe he can give us some information on whoever suddenly also has his face."
And at that, he'd been bundled off to an...evaluation. Interrogation.
One and the same, honestly. These people probably didn't care two cents about helping him mentally.
He settled back in the chair and tried not to pull at the straps. He was alone.
Finally, a youngish-looking man appeared on the other side of the glass. He sat down and set some papers on the table in front of him.
"Hello, Mr. Barnes. I've been sent by the United Nations to evaluate you."
Bucky just stared.
"You're first name is James, yes?" he asked calmly.
I want Sam. Bucky thought, almost childishly. He remembered how Sam had coaxed him into recovery, after D.C. He'd been calm, too, but not overly professional. Plus, he hadn't been strapped into whatever this stupid thing was in a cold, chill, antiseptic-feeling room. He'd been in Steve's apartment, safe and free and…
He choked back a moan.
You made your choice, Barnes. Time to face the music.
"I'm not here to judge you...I'm just here to ask you a few questions."
I've got some...starting with "why am I in this damn restraining chair?"
"Do you know where you are, James?"
Not where I wanna be.
"I can't help you if you don't talk to me, James."
"My name is Bucky." he growled out. He hoped Steve was watching.
Only Thor can call me James. And he asked. Boy, he'd be useful right about now.
The man started back at the sudden vehemence. "Tell me Bucky." he said finally, "You've seen a great deal, haven't you?"
"I don't wanna talk about it." Bucky muttered sulkily.
Where'd they find this clown?
"You fear that...if you open your mouth, the horrors might never stop." the man went on.
There was a long pause.
"Don't worry…we only have to talk about one."
That alone sent off red flags in Bucky's head.
And then, the lights went dark.
"What the hell is this?" he said, really not in the mood for any tricks.
The man ignored him. "Let's discuss your home. Not Romania, certainly not Brooklyn, no. I mean Siberia."
Bucky's heart started pounding furiously.
Siberia, what about Siberia, how does he know about Siberia, what's going on, where's Steve, where's Sam, why did I think this was a good idea…
The man slowly reached down and picked up a red book with a silver star.
Bucky's eyes widened.
Oh God, oh God, oh God, I know that book, I have to get out of here, why does he have that…
"Zhelaniye… prorzhavevshiy… semnadtsat'… rassvyet."
"Please…stop..." Bucky moaned. He knew those words. He knew what they were for.
But the man kept reading.
I have to get out of here!
"Pech'…devyat'…dobrokachestvennaya…"
Bucky started to punch his way out of the contraption. He managed to break through the glass.
"Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu …odin."
He could feel…something slipping over his mind, almost like water washing away everything that was good and true…
No!
"Gruzovoy vagon."
The word hit with all the mental force of a sledgehammer. He was fighting, fighting…what was he fighting? What was…?
What was his mission?
"Soldat?" the man in front of him queried.
The Soldier stood still, like always. "Ya gotovo soblyudat."
The man stepped forward, a ghastly smile on his face.
"Mission report. December 16, 1991."
The Soldier punched the man in the face.
At the back of his head, there was screaming-a man's scream of fear and horror. But also another scream.
That of a child. Almost as though the child was trying to warn him of something evil.
He pushed the thought away.
Gah! Anyone who's read "Never Meant for You to Fix Yourself" will understand how heartbreaking that was for me to write! Fortunately, he'll get his head back next chapter.
I went back and forth between having Bucky cut and run or turn himself in, but at the end of the day, I feel like turning himself in fits better with Bucky's character growth in this 'Verse, as opposed to in the MCU. Here, he's had recovery time and he has an alibi. Plus, it has the added side benefit of making the government people even less sympathetic. Criminal or no, Bucky's basically a POW who's been MIA for over seven decades, and now he's willingly turned himself in. Not vetting a psychiatrist and leaving him alone with said psychiatrist...not a good idea. I don't care if Zemo had the murdered doctors papers, did no one take a look at his face? Ugh! And Steve & company totally would have had lawyers. Stupid Ross. Both Rosses. Seriously, both the annoying government men in this movie were named Ross. Way to ruin a last name...
The Russian was Bucky's trigger words, "soldier," and "ready to comply". (The most heartbreaking sentence EVER!)
Next chapter will be soon. Until then...
Reviews are wonderful things...