Dinner was a somber affair. Ralph was the perfect amount of polite – Bill could tell that his mother liked the boy, which was good. His father made his usual show of finishing first and leaving the table to go watch something on the television. Cecelia had promised to not tell, but every few seconds she looked at Bill and Ralph and giggled. Bill glared at her as much was possible without it being obvious that he was glaring at her.

Bill was getting quite good at glaring at people without it being obvious that he was glaring at them.

After a while, Bill noticed that Ralph was pushing his food around on his plate and not really eating. Bill finished chewing and stood up, grabbing Ralph by the wrist as he did so. "We're going to go up to my room," Bill said. His mother looked at them and nodded, and Bill pulled Ralph upstairs, Cecelia yelling at them to 'have fun' after them.

They ended up sitting on Bill's bed. Bill had a fairly large bed – he always had, mostly because when he'd been younger he'd had a habit of falling out, and this problem was solved by getting him the biggest bed possible. Now he could twist and turn all he wanted and he wouldn't fall out. Usually. "Where am I sleeping?" Ralph asked. He was too damn quiet. Bill had to strain to hear him.

"You can just sleep with me," Bill said, shrugging. After he said this, both him and Ralph turned red. "I mean, if you want to. If you're extremely against it, then, you don't have to, I can sleep on the floor-"

"No, it's okay," Ralph said. Bill nodded, managing an awkward smile. He didn't know about Ralph, but he was certainly thinking about what had happened before dinner.

They continued on with casual conversation until Bill's mother poked her head in to remind them that they had school tomorrow and that they should probably get to sleep. Bill nodded and slid off the bed. He took off his shirt and pants without thinking – he always slept in just his underwear. Ralph followed his example, and Bill couldn't help but stare a little.

Ralph was skinnier than he'd been on the island, and he was pale – too pale. He looked like he spent most of his time inside, not eating much. Bill could practically count the other boy's ribs, and his hipbones jutted out almost dangerously. Ralph noticed him staring and responded with a hint of his old personality. "What? Do you like what you see?"

Bill was speechless. "I- uh-"

Ralph laughed, but only for a second. He was back to quiet, reserved Ralph in a few moments. "Should we get to bed?" he asked, flushing immediately after speaking. Bill nodded, thankful that he was once again the one who had it together, the one who knew what he was doing. He hated being caught off-guard.

Bill let Ralph get in the bed before flipping off the lights switch and felt his way to the bed. He was lucky – he didn't accidentally fall over Ralph getting into the bed. Really, there would be room for both of them to have plenty of room on Bill's extremely large bed, but Ralph stayed close to him. "Are you alright?" Bill asked.

Ralph laughed again, but this laugh was more an awkward, nervous one than a real one. "I… I just… I have nightmares and… the dark doesn't really help. I mean, I'm not scared or anything, really, but… anything could be in the dark."

"You really haven't forgotten anything, have you?" Bill asked the darkness and felt Ralph shift closer to him. You seem really desperate for attention… or affection, whatever it is. He added silently.

"No," Ralph said. His voice was even quieter, and Bill had the urge to cover the inch left between them to hug the boy. "I- every night. Nightmares of… well, most anything, really, but mostly him."

Bill didn't have to ask who he was talking about.

Jack Merridew.

Last Bill had heard of Jack Merridew his parents were giving excuses for his behavior. While Roger was carted up off to an asylum, Jack was taken home and was presumably at the school they'd both gone to before the island. After a six month break, of course. They needed time to make Jack 'presentable' to society again.

Bill didn't actually know if this was true – but he thought it was very, very likely.

"I wonder what happened to them," Ralph asked. "I mean, the savages."

Well, one of them was right there, Bill thought wryly, wondering if Ralph had just erased the fact that he had been a savage from his mind. He seemed to have remembered everything from the island except Bill. Apparently he thought Bill had been on Ralph's side.

That was probably a good thing – otherwise he'd be freaking out.

"I saw… I saw someone once," Ralph said. His speech was slow, halting, like he wasn't sure what he was saying. "I don't know… I think it was Roger. It was recently… a few months ago. He just… he just glared. I don't remember anything after that. My father says I fainted."

Bill stayed the silent supporter, nodding and fighting the urge to close that last little bit of distance between them. He could feel the heat wafting over from Ralph's body and it was taking every ounce of self-control he had to not hold him at least. There wouldn't be anything wrong with holding him… right?

Of course there would be something wrong with that. The fact that they'd kissed before dinner had just been… well, Bill hadn't been able to help himself and Ralph had been too weak to do anything but go along with it. That was all it had been. Teenage hormones. Just teenage hormones.

Teenage hormones that were being very difficult to fight right now.

Oh shit. Shit, Ralph was crying now. He wasn't making a big deal of it, but he was sniffling, and he hadn't had a cold or anything. Bill had no idea what he was doing – laying nearly naked in a bed with another boy who he'd tried to kill five years earlier, said boy crying and fighting his urges to just hug him. Gain his trust – not that he didn't already have it; Bill wasn't quite sure why Ralph was so trusting all of a sudden – and eventually fall in love-

Whoa there. No falling in love with other boys for Bill. That was just… well, it was against the Bible, wasn't it? Bill had never been particularly religious, but… he was pretty sure that boys liking boys was pretty… wrong. At least, that's what had been pounded into his head by teachers and parents.

Oh God, what were his parents going to think? Oh God, oh God, oh God.

And Ralph had closed the distance himself, burying his face in Bill's bare chest. Bill was really having trouble controlling his hormones. He allowed himself to wrap his arms around Ralph. This would be enough, this would be enough, he couldn't just molest Ralph while he was vulnerable, dammit…

With thoughts of his teenage hormones still bouncing around in his head, Bill fell asleep.

It feels kind of good to just be writing in one POV for a fic. That never happens for me. It's weird. And also nice.

Bill/Ralph is love.