The two dreaded Rs: Retcon and Reboot
Two
Like a stone in a pond making waves the rumors spread, touching on each hero and group in different ways. Of course, it got worse once someone broke the fourth wall and got ahold of a complete set of solicitations for September's reboot.
"We aren't even getting a series?" Courtney Whitmore yelped, the petite blonde waving her arms angrily. Thankfully the heroine Stargirl didn't have her cosmic rod activated, or she'd probably be blasting holes in the walls of the Justice Society headquarters.
"This sucks," Wildcat agreed, his hood down to reveal the grizzled face of Ted Grant. "What, they don't need old-timers anymore?"
"It appears so," Kent Nelson sounded annoyed as he laid the papers he had conjured up as Dr. Fate. "Our creators seem to have decided that we're not 'young and hip' enough for their new universe."
"We'll probably still be around in the background," Cyclone patted Courtney on the shoulder. The redhead felt the odd urge to jump Courtney's bones, but Maxine was genre savvy enough to realize it was because she was in a Shanejayell fanfic and ignored the urge.
"At least you'll still be around," Ted nodded to Alan Scott and Jay Garrick, the first Green Lantern and Flash.
"It's not our fault we're tied to popular legacies," Jay said, wearing his usual red shirt and lightning bolt. The brown haired man frowned, "I'm not looking forward to seeing how we end up being retconned in this."
"Tell me about it," Alan agreed, the muscular blond haired man nodding grimly. He was almost sure he'd end up a grim and gritty anti-hero, especially considering some of the ugly costumes the new kids were wearing.
Meanwhile, the Justice League of America was in shock as they tried to digest that the epic storylines planned with them were over. "So I guess James Robinson lied when he said he'd make us famous again?" Congorilla complained, the golden gorilla drinking from a stein of beer.
Starman looked amused as the alien named Mikaal Tomas noted, "Well, I really wasn't expecting it to happen anyway." He looked around the Hall of the Justice League, "Wonder when they'll expect us to clear out our stuff?"
"You're taking this awfully calmly," Supergirl noted, the blond haired young woman pouting slightly. She had just found out her history was being changed yet again, and she was more than a bit upset about it.
"I spent years in comic book limbo until I got revived in Starman," Mikaal shrugged slightly, "you tend to take a long view of things."
"I see," Saint Walker noted, the Blue Lantern still adapting to being around these strange humans. The white skinned alien tilted his head to the side, "Where is Donna Troy?"
"She and Doctor Light gave into the lesbo rays and took off," Supergirl looked amused, "last time I checked their were happy moans coming from Troy's room."
"Troy and Light?" Congorilla blinked, "That's a total crack pairing?"
"I think Shanejayell's been reading too many of Shadow Crystal Mage's stories," Starman suggested thoughtfully.
"I figure we're all right as long as this doesn't become a full fledged crossover with Takamachi Nanoha of 2814," the Atom noted.
Somewhere in Japan, ordinary Japanese schoolgirl Nanoha Takamachi sneezed suddenly. "Excuse me," she said sheepishly.
Everyone was slightly startled to see the Atom, no one having noticed Ray Palmer because he was so small and unnoticeable. "Hey!" Atom protested that description.
Sorry.
"Well, maybe this reboot will erase Identity Crisis," Saint Walker suggested hopefully.
"Yeah, maybe something good will come of all this," Congorilla nodded.
Out in deep space, the Green Lantern Corps and their allies remain largely unchanged because they are the special pets of head writer Geoff Johns. We'll just leave then in space, being all smug.
"That's not fair!" Kyle Rayner yelped. "Not only am I gonna get shuffled into a new series with the Rainbow Lanterns, but I'm not even going to be in a book with my girlfriend." the young Green Lantern sighed.
"Yeah," Guy Guardner said thoughtfully. "Well, maybe they'll finally streamline my history and get the goofy crap out."
"Like how you got brain damaged and switched between asshole Guy and nice Guy?" Kilwog noted, the heavily muscled alien hanging with his friends.
"That and the who half alien thing," Guy agreed. He grimaced, "Hell, my buddy Beau just tossed that in as a joke, but DC decided to run with it..." Everyone ignored that fourth wall breaking and kept drinking at Guy's bar on Oa.
"Is it me or are half the Guardians over there getting tanked?" Soranik Natu asked disbelievingly, the black haired, red skinned Korugarite sitting by her boyfriend Kyle.
"They don't handle multiversal rewrites very well," Kilwog noted mildly. He shook his head, "Plus, things didn't turn out so well with the last rewrite. Most of 'em got killed in the Crisis, they left the planet then Parallax killed the rest of them."
"Here's somethin' I wondered," Guy noted, "I thought when Kyle used the Ion power to revive the Guardians that they would be young and have a second chance and all that. So why did they turn right back into the old bastards?"
"Blame it on Geoff Jones," Kyle sighed, everyone nodding glumly.
"Hey, where did Arisa go?" Soranik wondered innocently.
"Last time I checked she agreed to go to Boodikka's room," Kilwog supplied. "Apparently Arisa found out Boodikka was full of useful devices, and wanted to check it out."
"Oh no, not a Nextwave reference," Guy winced, "they're worse than memes."
Just then SPACE JESUS.. uhm, I mean Hal Jordan returned in a flash of green. "Am I detecting sarcasm?" Hal addressed the Author, but was ignored. Sighing he said to the others, "What I miss?"
"Boodikka's ravaging your ex-girlfriend," Kyle noted dryly.
"Carol Ferris?" Hal asked.
"No." Kilwog noted.
"Cowgirl?" Hal scratched his head.
"No." Soranik scowled at him.
"Lady Blackhawk and Huntress?" Hal suggested optimistically.
"No, and I thought that was just a rumor." Kyle growled.
"Power Girl?"
"Hal, you are a man-slut," Guy said disgustedly as he chugged his beer.
Half-way across the universe, the Teen Titans were in their Tower in San Francisco, looking with horror at the art promoting their new series. The art was bad enough, but only a few characters were shown in the group shot.
"Where the hell am I?" Ravager yelled, the white haired woman glaring down at the pic. Her orabge and blue costume clung to her body, and she looked especially attractive angry. "Thanks, author," she added, "nice description."
No problem.
Ignoring that Solstice looked pained as the gold clad young woman noted, "I suppose it was too much to hope for that I'd last. I'm just a new character after all."
"I have been in every incarnation of the Titans," Raven rumbled grimly, the cloaked woman looking annoyed, "but I am not there." She paused then the black haired woman added thoughtfully, "To be honest, I could use the break."
"That's a good attitude," Red Robin encouraged her, the red and black clad young man standing nearby.
"Tim, stop looking on the bright side," Wonder Girl said flatly. She gestured at the pic, "Look at that costume! And why is my lasso covered in red lightning? Are they making me into a Sith?"
"That'd be kinda cool, actually," Beast Boy noted mildly, the green skinned boy sitting nearby. Much like Raven he'd been in teams almost constantly, and was kinda looking forward to a rest.
"Shut up, Gar," Wonder Girl said grimly. She pointed at the picture again as Cassie added, "And what's up with the skintight red suit and hoodie?"
"Sex appeal?" Solstice suggested, then blinked. The brown haired girl added, "Where did that come from?"
"Shanejayell fic. You'll get used to it," Red Robin said. Secretly, he kind of liked his upcoming redesign... at least he'd no longer have to wear a leather cowl anymore.
"That may be the busiest outfit I've ever worn," Kid Flash noted, looking at the lightning adorned mess in red and gold.
"And why does Superboy have a kick-me sign on his back?" Beast Boy asked, looking amused.
"Not to mention whoever that black shadow girl and spider-thing girl are," Ravager said crossly. Her eyes narrowed, "I'd better not get turned into one of those two, or somebody's gonna die."
Everyone edged away from her a bit. They knew she had a temper, and no one was taking any chances. "Has Conner actually seen this pic?" Red Robin had to ask.
"He yelled something about refusing to become a emo pretty boy and flew off to Smallville," Raven noted mildly, a faint smile on her face.
"Damn it, if we're gonna get rebooted I'm gonna get laid," Ravager suddenly declared, grabbing Red Robin by the cape and dragging him off.
"Hey!" Red Robin protested, but not too strongly.
"I think I shall seek out Starfire and explore my bisexual inclinations," Raven decided once they had left, poofing out in a burst of smoke.
"Damn I wish I could film that," Beast Boy muttered. He looked hopefully at Solstice and Wonder Girl, "I don't suppose you would be interested...?"
"Hell no," Wonder Girl shot him down. She looked over at Soltice, "You know, I've felt a certain connection since we first met..."
"Me too," Soltice agreed, taking her hand as the two walked off.
"Just my luck," Beast Boy sighed. Shifting his form into a green bird he flew off, muttering, "Maybe I'll check and see if the new Aqua-girl is single..."
End?
Notes: More reactions to the planned 'big reboot' at DC. The current Justice League was built up by DC over the past year as being a 'ongoing' thing, but I guess not. I also wanted to show the Teen Titans reacting to the reboot and the 90's style art on their new book.