Kate and Garth remained apprehensive as this person approached.

"Don't pounce on me! I'm here to help!" he had said.

"That's what they all say," Kate whispered to Garth. Neither straightened themselves up from their pouncing position. They growled, their teeth curled into a sign of warning. But the intruder kept coming. It looked as though another battle might be in the offing.

And then a young man stepped into the glade. Kate and Garth's faces both lost their snarls, instead becoming pictures of confusion. He did not look much like a threat. This person could not be over twenty-five, in human years. He was tall, but also rather scrawny, and did not look like he would have the power to squash a bug. His brown-hair fell over his face, partially obscuring one eye, causing Kate to briefly catch a mental image of how her sister used to wear her mane. The man, or more accurately, the boy's blue eyes were filled with terror. He obviously was not going to be much of threat.

The more pressing question was how he had heard and understood him.

"Who are you?" Kate demanded. "How did you hear us?"

"How could a human hear us?" Garth said. "How could one understand us?"

"That's what I aim to find out!"

Talking wolves! I'm standing across from two ever-lovin', honest-to-goodness, whatever other silly phrase fits the situation, talking wolves! What the heck am I supposed to do now?

Don't get me wrong. When I was the Goblin, this sort of thing would be par of the course. But nothing like this happens to puny, average Philip Urich! What do I say? What do I do? My head is spinning and not in a good way.

I decide to just start with the basics. "Hi! My name is Philip Urich and I'm…" Then I remember that I can't end that statement my usual way anymore.

"You're… what exactly?" the woman… I mean, the female wolf says. Apparently, she's not impressed by my song and dance. Can't blame her, neither am I!
"I'm… I'm…" Think, Philip, think! "I'm… totally lost out here! Does anybody know the way to the nearest town?"

Admittedly, not the smoothest comeback, but it gets the job done.

"That doesn't answer the question," the girl says (I can still call her a girl, right?).

"How can you tell what we're saying?" the guy goes, his tone all of a sudden just as hard as hers.

"Wha… what do you mean?" I say. "Why are you speaking English?"

"We're not!" they say together. Like I'm supposed to believe that.

Unless… I can understand wolf! Nah, can't be.

But what if…

"Look," I say, "I don't know what's happening but all I know is that I'm hearing English. What about you?"

"Of course we're hearing English," the red guy says, "we know English even if we don't speak it."

Okay, now I'm just confused. So I shrug and decide to head back on my way… somewhere.

"Wait," the female says, more ordering than suggesting. "You need to come with us. This has never happened before and I want to ask mom and dad for advice."

I turn back around. "Do I have a choice? I mean, is there any way you wouldn't kidnap me if I said I didn't want to go."

They look at each other. The male shakes his head slowly at the female, who nods in agreement. She looks at me. "No, we won't kidnap you, but if you don't come with us, how are you ever going to get out of this forest? It's very, very large."

She has a point! I probably would never get out of here.

"Okay," I say. "I'll go."

Now I notice two other wolves getting up and I see a deer – I think it's a deer – force itself up and run off.

The original two do not seem interested in either of these events. They both just have their eyes locked on me. "Did you cause those explosions?" the brown female asks.

Well, yeah! But I'm not about to tell you that. Some secrets are worth keeping.

"What explosions?" I say.

"The one that set that tree on fire, for instance."

I look up as she nods toward it. The green gas has almost completely disappeared, lifting my spirits. "It doesn't look on fire to me," I say.

"It was a moment ago."

"If it was, how come it's gone?"

"It was that… green mist or something," the red one says. "That caused it to go out."

I smile weakly. "Well, I'm not a magician," I say. "I just can't magically put out fires."

They look at each other; I don't think they wholly trust me. But they make no more mention of it. By now, however, the other two wolves look almost shell-shocked. They look from me to my new friends and back again… several times. Finally, they have the sense to ask what's going down and we get another rundown of the circumstances from the female.

"This is highly irregular," says the one with the awesome facial markings. "I don't know if we should let a human into our valley. You remember what happened the last time, Kate?"

I'm really hoping the girl's name is Kate. Anyway, Kate, or whoever she is, says, "I know, but we really don't have any other choice here. We can't just let him leave and tell the world that there are talking wolves here."

"Really, I can keep a secret," I say. If only they knew how true that statement is!

Finally, the white-faced wolf nods, as does his little friend. But the little guy still has something to say, "What about the caribou?"

"We'll get 'em later," says the red one. "This is much more important. If one human can understand us, then who knows who else can! The safety of the pack is at stake!"

Kate now looks at me. "Okay, let's go. Come with us, human."

"My name is Philip," I say.

"Whatever, Phil. Just come on."

I love a woman with attitude! A female wolf, not so much…

Lilly and Humphrey were among the first to rush to the edge of the valley when the hunting party returned. The little white Omega wolf bounded past her taller comrade and came up to meet Garth as he returned. She licked his face playfully but stopped when he did not respond. Something was not right. He was not excited and cheerful like he was after a good hunt, but neither did he seem disappointed as he did on the few occasions when the hunt went poorly. Rather, he seemed solemn and serious. Lilly slowly backed away. Humphrey came up next to her but did not even go to Kate. And then they saw that there was no caribou with them. Instead, there was a human.

Humphrey's jaw dropped. Lilly did not know what to do, but then the human glanced at her and gave her a weak smile. She quickly hid behind Humphrey. Neither of them moved as this strange train went past.

Kate and Garth conducted the human onward toward the little mountain where her parents' den was located. They paid no attention, or at least tried not to, at the many stares and gasps that greeted them. Kate looked back to see the human, Philip Urich, looking uneasily at each of the wolves they passed. He held on tightly to the green duffle bag strapped over his shoulder, though it seemed very difficult for him to carry. He seemed to chuckle a little, but that was clearly out of nervousness rather than any sense of humor in his surroundings.

The climbed the winding pathway around the mountain. After they had only gone a short ways up, Philip cried, "Stop!"

"What is it?" Kate said, darting her head around, expecting a serious problem. She saw instead that Philip was out of breath and was desperately gasping for air.

"I… I need a rest," he said.

She rolled her eyes. But, after consideration, she nodded. It would be better to let the human catch his breath so that his answers to her parents were more than just unintelligible gasps. When he recovered, they started up again, but had to stop several more times to allow him to rest. Each time he did so, the large crowd of wolves following got a little bit closer and seemed to watch a little bit more intensely. It was a very long climb.

When the cliff outside her parents' den, Kate called out, "Mom, dad, I need to talk to you!"

Immediately, Winston, an old, proud, grey wolf, stepped out of his dwelling. He was followed by Eve, an older, stouter image of her daughter. They both smiled, both full of pride, when they saw Kate. However, it quickly faded as they saw the human walking cautiously along behind her.

A rush of anger filled Eve's eyes, more directed at the human than her daughter, while Winston just looked perplexed.

"We have a problem," Kate said quietly.

"I'll say we have a problem," Eve said. "What is a human doing here?"

"It's a very long story," Kate said.

Well, you really got yourself into another fine situation, didn't you, Philip? And this time, you don't even have your powers to get you out of it! Why does this always happen to me? First Ricko the Sicko – without him I never would have needed the Green Goblin gig in the first place – then the Hobgoblin and Angel Face – both grade-A psychos who fixated on me as their arch-enemy – and now a whole pack of talking wolves who, by their sideways glances toward me, are none too thrilled by becoming Canada's newest tourist attraction.

"This is very serious," the old gray wolf – I think they called him Winston – says. "We have never allowed a human this close into our valley before. We may have to think long and hard about what to do with him."

The old brown wolf – I think she's named Eve – then adds, "I say we tear his spine out and shove it back down his throat!" Charming! I've landed among not only a bunch of talking wolves, but a bunch of psycho talking wolves! The ol' Urich luck comes through again!

I realize that I have to start seriously looking at my options in case they decide that I'm the main course on tonight's dinner menu – the nightly special, no doubt; filet of dork! – and I have to make a break for my life. Well, let's see, what do I have that they don't?

Strength? No.

Speed? No.

Cunning and intelligence? Who am I kidding?

A bag full of nasty Goblin tricks just waiting to be unloaded? Bingo!

I decide in a heartbeat that, if worse comes to worse, I'll unzip my duffle bag and just start hurling pumpkin bombs and gas-ghosts behind me as I run wildly toward any form of escape. Not a full-proof plan by any means but, well, I got nothing else. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time that uncoordinated chaos and a ton of luck have got me out of a life-threatening situation. But still, this whole valley's filled with these wolves! This might be the most dangerous place I've been since Murderworld! Come to think of it, maybe I'd rather be facing off against Arcade and his toys right now.

On second thought, scratch that…

Winston continues speaking. "Kate, I think you should tell us how this happened. Leading a human to us is a very serious action and could be the death of us all if we're not careful. But I trust that you had a good reason. You say that he stumbled upon you? And that he speaks our language?

Kate nods. "You see, dad, we got into a fight with these three other wolves–"

"Other wolves? But there are no other packs around for at least two-hundred miles."

"I don't think these guys were a pack. Probably just scavengers. There was a giant brown one, a scrawny white one, and a black one who I think was their leader. They wanted our caribou but we wouldn't give it to them. So, they tried to take it and we fought and the big one got the upper hand and then…"

Winston eyes the girl, Kate. He seems almost suspicious, but I think he trusts her. It's me he's worried about, I think. When do I come into this little adventure?

"Then, all of a sudden, there were these explosions. They scared the other wolves off and we were left alone. And then he showed up. I don't know why. He says he came to help and that he didn't cause the explosions…"

Hold on! I didn't say that I didn't cause the explosions! I just never said that I did, is all!

On second thought, now's probably not the best time to clarify grammatical misunderstandings.

Winston sighed. "A human in our home and now we have to worry about wolves making trouble, too? Well, first things first. Kate, what is your opinion of this human? What do your instincts tell you about him? Do you trust him?"

"Hey, this human is standing right here," I say. They all glare at me. I slap my forehead as I realize that I've probably lost any chance of winning their trust. Dork!

Kate turns back to her dad. "I don't trust him." She doesn't even try to say it low enough that I won't hear. "There's too much unexplained about him. Like, why did he show up just at that time? How can he understand our language? What is he going to do if we let him go, now that he knows all about us?"

Good questions! Wish I knew the answers!

Winston nods. "That is exactly what I was thinking. Humphrey, Lilly, you might as well come in here too. You'll be leading the pack some day with Kate and Garth."

Huh? Well, that's a strange thought progression! Oh, wait, I notice two of the wolves I saw earlier walking past me. They must have been waiting at the other end of the cliff, near the pathway. The gray guy walks past without looking at me, though I think maybe because of – fear? Really? You jokin'? Then comes the dainty white girl I saw next to him. She tries to scamper past without looking, but can't resist getting a peek. I smile at her again – I don't know why I do it. I guess it's because she just seems so frightened and vulnerable. (What? I've got a caring heart in here somewhere!) In fact, she kinda looks exactly as I feel in this situation. But, no good deed goes unpunished. She shivers and whimpers when she sees it, and quickly turns her visible eye away from me. She high-tails it away from me and runs behind Eve, who now looks like she's figuring out the best way to remove my vital organs.

Winston walks up to me. For an old guy, he's sure fast. I don't even notice until he's right in front of me.

"Young man," he says.

I take a moment to get it. "Oh, you mean me!"

"Do you see any other young men here?"

"Well… no. Not exactly…"

Winston shakes his head in what I think is disgust (I can't blame him!) and continues, "I see that you understand what I am saying. Do you have any idea how this is possible?"
I shrug. "Beats me."

"Surely, you must have some inkling."

I scratch my head, trying to think of any other occasion when I showed Dr. Doolittle tendencies. Nothing occurs.

"No," I say. "Can't come up with anything."

Winston looks me in the eye, long and hard, a bit like my Uncle Ben when I've forgotten to do my filing. Kinda creepy, I never thought a wolf could do that before!

"Okay," he says. "Then what, in your opinion, makes you special."

I nearly burst out laughing. What makes me special? Me?

"I'm not special at all," I say. "There's never been anything special about me."

And I'm not lying. Even when I was the Green Goblin I was completely useless. I never made the mark on the New York super-jock community that I wanted to and I don't think anybody's mourning the fact that the heroic Green Goblin hasn't shown up in a while. Besides, I think, like, every other person in my high school has been a costumed jock at some time or another. It's like, a phase that people go through until they get something better in their life. Except that I haven't found anything better.

Winston doesn't seem to buy it. "Okay, Philip, if you are not special, then how do you explain the fact that we can communicate?"
"I just have such a welcoming personality?" I say with a weak smile. The grey wolf, Humphrey, chuckles. And I'm glad somebody is finally warming up to me.

"Honey, do you want me to rip his throat out?" Eve says with a very dark smile directed at me. I'm not ashamed to say that I shiver a bit as I see it.

"Not till we get some more information from him, dear," Winston says. My hero! "Well, then, if you don't have an answer, can you at least tell us what you were doing up in this part of Jasper. Humans never set foot here alone."

I've chuckle a bit to hide my jitters – I always laugh when I'm nervous – and begin my tale, "Well, y'see, I came up here with my girlfriend, Jenny…"
Jenny! I forgot all about her! Who knows where she's gotten to by now! On the plus-side, she can't be any worse off than I currently am.

"Yeah, Jenny. We were up here doing some hiking. She's a big outdoors nut. Me, I'd be happy just watching a Rangers game on the T.V. But not her! No, she's one to really–"

"Please get on with it, Philip."

"Oh, right, he he. I mean, me and her came up here but then our camper broke down and we went to find help. Then I got separated from her and just kind of wandered until I found you guys. I heard voices of somebody sounding like they needed help and when I got there I found that you were all talking wolves."

Kate rolls her eyes. "You make it sound like we're the only ones in existence. All wolves talk, you humans just can't understand us!"

"I see," says Winston. He's got such a good poker face that I can't tell whether he believes me or not.

"I still say we tear out his spine," Eve says.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I mumble.

And then I realize that I said that out loud. Huge mistake! Eve starts walking toward me, almost like she's stalking her pray. Wait, that's exactly what she's doing! Her teeth grow big and wide and her mouth curls into a snarl. I hear a low growling coming from her. Her eyes are vicious and evil. I am so going to die!

Unless…

I immediately pull my duffle bag up beside me and pull down the zipper. Wiggling my hand discretely inside, I feel around until I nearly cut myself on some sharp edge. A razor-bat! Perfect! I grab a hold of it as she comes toward me, waiting for the perfect opportunity to "make my point," if you will.

"I don't think we should maul him just yet," Winston said. "There is still too much which confuses me."

Eve shows no signs of stopping. She continues toward me and I grip my razor-bat tighter. But then, suddenly, she stops and smiles warmly at Winston. "Okay, but I get first dibs when you're done!"

"I'll make a note of it," Winston says, with just enough caution in his voice to suggest that he doesn't want to get on his wife's – I can call her his wife, right? – bad side. Again, I can't blame him.

So, I relax and turn my less-that-steely gaze toward the other wolves. And then I notice it – Kate's got her eyes squarely on my bag and the arm disappearing into it. All that nicely dissipated tension returns in a flash.

"What's in the bag, Phil?" she asks with an oh-so-innocuous voice.

"What? Ah…" Smooth. "It's… it's just my camping stuff. You know, something to sleep in during a cold night under the stars, some emergency things in case of emergencies like floods or locusts, first-aid, stuff like that."

"Then you wouldn't mind showing us." Man, she's not going to give up.

"Um… yeah… it's just that, I don't really like strange wolf-people digging around in my personal stuff. I mean, how would you like it if some human just came and started poking around your jammies?"

"What are 'jammies?' "

"Not important. I just don't like the idea of you guys looking into stuff that is, well, for my eyes only."

"Sounds suspicious to me," she says.

I smile as best I can. "C… come on, guys? Does a puny little Mister Average like me look like he's got a bunch of killer weapons or some type of death-suit in his carry-on?"

Kate looks me up and down and shrugs. "Maybe not."

"Well," Winston says, "until we can learn more, I don't think we can do anything. I want to have a better understanding before coming to judgment."

I let out a sigh of relief. And then I realize it may be misplaced. "Excuse me, your highness," I say, "but what does that mean for me?"

Winston looks back at me, as though he had forgotten I'm here. Which doesn't surprise me. He says, "Of course, we can't let you leave the valley until we've got this sorted out. But do not worry, we are very fair here. You'll be safe until we've determined the truth of your story. Kate, show Philip to the unused den on the side of the mountain. I'm putting you in charge of guarding him. I want a wolf at the door of that den at all times." He now turns toward the red wolf. "Garth, go inform your father about what has happened. I want to meet with him as soon as possible. Hutch, Can-do, go tell the other wolves that the human is not to be interacted with without my say-so. Is everybody clear?"

And with a nod, the wolves embark on their assigned tasks. Kate walks over to me and bites at my sleeve. "Come on, you," she says.

"Okay, I'm comin', I'm coming," I say. Like I have any choice!