Title: Once Bitten and Twice Shy
Song Prompt: Last Christmas by Wham!
Genre: Family/Romance/Humor/Modern AU
Major Characters: Blake, Yang, Ruby, Weiss
Minor Characters: Neo, Penny, Zwei, Sun, Neptune
Pairing: Bumblebee, White Rose
Synopsis: Being alone and single during the holidays wasn't easy for anyone. It was particularly difficult for Yang this year, who had just received an unopened and returned Christmas present from her ex-girlfriend. Instead of a date, she'd have to opt for a night alone, living vicariously through her little sister who was closer to having a committed relationship than she ever would be. Next year, she hoped, December wouldn't suck as much.
"Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special."
It was the box. It was unmistakably the box.
An unpleasant surprise hit Yang on the eve of Christmas when her little sister opened the front door of their house to pick up yesterday's mail. Ruby had returned, her legs wobbling as she carried something large and heavy in her arms. It plumped down loudly on the kitchen floor, causing a few ripples in Yang's morning coffee.
"I found this sitting outside our doorstep," Ruby said as she turned to look at her sister, who was still wearing her sweatpants and crazy morning hair. "Who do you think it's for?"
Yang stewed in silence. Oh, she knew exactly who it was for and what was inside. She didn't need to play the usual parody of "What's in the box?" with her sister before savagely attacking at the wrapping paper. No, this time she knew for certain.
After all, she had been the one to have it made. It was the same package Yang had dropped off at somebody else's doorstep just yesterday. Now, after a single night of sleep, it had returned back to her front porch, still neatly wrapped with a bow.
Yang let out a short sigh. "Don't worry about it. It's mine."
"It's yours?" Ruby asked as she tugged against the knotted ribbon. "Well, what is it?"
"Something stupid," Yang muttered in reply. She kicked the box underneath the kitchen table, taking a few tries as it refused to budge with the first two hits.
Ruby glanced between Yang and the mystery pink box but chose not to inquire any further. The grim look on Yang's face was not a common occurrence in the Xiao Long household and Ruby preferred not to press matters that would clearly upset her older sister.
"So what are your big plans for Christmas Eve?" Ruby decided to subtly change the subject. "You didn't tell me."
"I'm not so sure," Yang mumbled, before observing an odd smile settling on Ruby's face. Her cheeks were rosy with color and the corner edges of her lips were wiggling, barely containing an extraordinary amount of glee.
"And what about you?" Yang questioned, taking a sip of her coffee as she trailed her sister's bouncy movements. "You're...even cheerier than usual. And that's saying a lot."
"Well, now that you mention it… Weiss is coming over and picking me up this afternoon!" Ruby squeaked as if she were dying to tell the news since she had risen. "We were going to go out for brunch, which I'm not too crazy about, but then Weiss promised that we would have dessert at this great place that has the best chocolate chip cookies ever! And then we're going to this pretty little ice rink Weiss's friend owns, though I totally don't know how to skate-"
"Okay, okay!" Yang brightened, appreciating how little to no effort was needed on Ruby's part to cheer her up. She teasingly grabbed the back of Ruby's hood, pulling it up and over the girl's head, effectively shutting up her feverish rant. "I get it. You're going to have a great time with your girlfriend."
Ruby reemerged, the color of her cheeks now a shade of scarlet. "Weiss is not my girlfriend!"
"Oh really?" Yang chuckled at her sister's adorable stage of denial. "Sure, because what you just said doesn't qualify as a date, right?"
"It doesn't! I'm telling you, we're going out just as friends," Ruby explained, then added on in a low murmur, "Besides… Weiss never said she was interested in me like that before."
"You're still waiting for the signs?" Yang's eyes widened, stunned at the thickness of her sister's head. "Ruby, she gave you, like, a gazillion signs already! Remember when she gave you those tiny heart-shaped chocolates for your birthday? And remember, when you were sick with the flu? I had to go back to work, but who came over to our house with a full pack of beer in one hand and hot porridge in the other to save the day?"
"What?" Ruby furrowed her brows. "What beer?"
"That's not the important part," Yang said with the flick of her hand. "The point is, Weiss has been going out of her way to make those stupid little hints you keep looking for. And any normal person would have gotten the message already. So if you don't want to take my word for it..."
In a flash, Yang had fished out her phone from the back pocket of her pants. "You'll have to hear it from her."
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... Yang!" Ruby dove forward, watching in absolute horror as her sister dialed down a number with immense speed. Yang merely laughed, rudely shoving away her sister's face as she turned her phone to speaker mode. Despite Ruby's protests, she blasted the volume to its fullest, making sure that every word of the conversation would be clearly audible to both.
"...Hello?" A drowsy voice picked up on the other end, after multiple long-awaited dials. Ruby froze on the spot, immediately ceasing to struggle against her sister's brutish strength.
"Aw, does the Ice Queen need more beauty sleep?" Yang drawled.
"Who is this?" An irritated voice mumbled back.
"Geez, Weiss. You mean you have other people calling you the Ice Queen all the time?"
"...Yang Xiao Long, why are you calling me at such an ungodly hour?" It wasn't a question but an annoyed accusation, indicating that no reason or excuse the blonde may spew would be enough to justify her actions today.
"It's seven in the morning." Yang frowned. "It's hardly a bad time to call."
"It's seven in the morning on a Saturday...on Christmas Eve, I might add." The voice, while still groggy from sleep, never missed a beat in its lecture. "To any sane working adult on holiday, that would be the textbook definition of a bad time to call."
"Sheesh, how do you always deal with this much sass?" Yang made a fake cringe towards her younger sister, who was now burning red from anger and embarrassment. "Okay, princess. If you want me to call you later, I'll do that."
"You've already woken me up." Yang could practically hear a vein popping from across the phone line. "Now tell me. What is it that you want?"
"So I wanted to make sure that you're all set for today." Yang shot a glance towards Ruby before slyly adding: "You know, for your date with my baby sister?"
There was a short pause on the other line, as both sisters listened intently for Weiss's incoming reply.
"...I am." It was a very calm and collected answer. Cutting to the chase was, in fact, the Weiss Schnee way of dealing with any important affairs. A strange high-pitched squeal escaped out of Ruby before she slammed both hands over her lips in shock.
"Oh, so you are, in fact, admitting that Miss Weiss Schnee is taking Ruby Rose, my cute but honestly a bit dorky little sister, out for a date today? For the whole day, on Christmas Eve?"
"Yes," Weiss said shortly. A hint of impatience was present in her voice again.
"I am not a dork!" Ruby mouthed furiously while shaking her arms over her head in opposition. Yang smirked as she kept her eyes fixed on Ruby, a sneaky smile drawing on her lips as she watched her sister grow redder and redder with each word. "Just to make sure, princess. Now, one more time. In case, I wasn't clear enough. You are most definitely going on a textbook definition date with Ruby, not as friends but as a quote-on-quote girl-"
"Yang. Put Ruby on the phone," Weiss demanded in a snappish manner.
"She catches on quick...unlike someone." The blonde smirked and motioned at her sister to speak. Ruby's eyes were as big as saucers now.
"Hey, Weiss! Uh... Good evening, I mean, morning! To what do I owe the pleasure?" Ruby laughed in a nervous way, trying too hard to sound intelligent. Even so, all her pitiful efforts went back to square one as Ruby frantically added in a whisper, "I was totally not listening in by the way. That weird sound in the background was Zwei. You know how he gets when we hide the treats in the top pantry and-"
"Ruby," Weiss cut through her words like a knife. "It is way too early in the morning for me to be listening to one of your infamous rants."
"Right. Sorry," Ruby mumbled sheepishly.
"Now, it has come to my attention that our relationship has been different ever since that New Year's party, where we were both hopelessly drunk," said Weiss, in an oddly diplomatic fashion. It wasn't a rare occurrence for Weiss to switch to business mode. Much like all of her other conversations with Ruby, she kept her tone stuffy but sincere.
"So, I have decided on pursuing you with full romantic intentions because I can't seem to get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try. And believe me, I've tried." Weiss sighed in defeat. "I'm not going to sit around in my office all day waiting any longer because, Ruby Rose, I am officially asking you to spend Christmas Eve with me this year. Not as acquaintances, not even as friends, but as two individuals ready to commence a committed relationship with each other."
The room became still, the air only filled with muffled sounds from Yang, who had the decency to cover up her face before bursting into a lengthy exclamation of delight. Honestly, the heiress was so endearing sometimes, she thought.
No other sound or movement followed, however. Ruby appeared to have entered into a light daze; her eyebrows drooped slightly and her mouth opened in awe.
"Um... Ruby?" A cough intervened. Yang's gesture shook Ruby out of her thoughts, prompting the girl to yell something, anything, into the phone.
"I'm here!" Ruby yelped, notifying the other end that she hadn't dropped the phone by accident.
"I'm sorry. Was that too forward? Would you like me to...cancel our plans?" Weiss asked, sounding thoroughly uncertain.
"Of course not!" Ruby blurted out rather quickly. "I was just surprised, that's all!"
"Surprised?" Weiss groaned. "I have sent out several meaningful indications!"
"Well, you tend to be cryptic!" Ruby rebutted loudly, though sounding not very convincing.
"I am never cryptic!" Weiss denied hotly before adding, "So you are saying yes?"
"Yes to today's date?"
"Of course, to today's date! What else would I be asking for?" Weiss yelled in exasperation.
"Your hand in marriage?" Yang coyly suggested from behind.
"Yes, I am saying yes to today's date!" Ruby shouted, not forgetting to kick her sister in the shins as she did so.
"Okay, you dunce. I'll pick you up at ten." And without hearing a reply, the heiress hung up.
"Wow. Now that was the most formal asking out I have ever heard of in my life." Yang snorted, letting out a fit of laughter she had been bottling in. "I hope she never finds out that she was on speaker phone the whole time! Man, you guys are so adorable together! The team you two would make. I can see it now, the Heiress and the Dunce. Oh! You should fight crime together!"
But Ruby wasn't listening. It didn't take long for Yang to notice the tell-tale signs of joy and ecstasy, but her emotions were quick to give away to panic and distress.
"Oh my god! Yang! I'm going on a date! With Weiss! In..." Ruby glanced over at the clock and her jaws dropped open. "In two hours and fifty-six minutes! I need to get ready!"
"Uh..." was all Yang could say, a proper reply not formulating fast enough. After all, for any normal human being, two hours and fifty-six minutes would be an excessive amount of time needed to prepare for a date.
"I have nothing to wear! I was just going to wear my reindeer hoodie and snow boots!" Ruby looked down at her current outfit in complete indignation. "But what if the restaurant she reserved dinner at is super-duper fancy? I am not prepared for that and I do not own a cocktail dress!"
"Calm down, Ruby." Yang gently pulled her sister down to the couch, patting her poor hyperventilating sister on the back. "Okay, first of all, even if this is Weiss Schnee we're talking about, all business and no fun-"
"Hey!"
"-I don't think she would have expected you to attend a suit-and-tie event with her today, so you're going to be fine without the cocktail dress," Yang cracked a joke, trying to lighten the mood. "That seems more like a fourth or fifth date kind of thing for the princess."
"But you still need to help me get ready!" Ruby continued, still jittery and anxious. "I'm not like you, Yang. I'm not just talking about having the perfect outfit or wearing the perfect makeup. I have no idea how to act on a date like you do. You're a natural! Me? I'm a joke. I always mess up when I really like someone and I really, really like Weiss. What if I say all the wrong things and she changes her mind?"
"You are not a joke," Yang said firmly in response. "And if you were going to scare that girl off, I think you would have done it a lot sooner than today."
Ruby glowered at her, not following the joke.
"Remember the day you two met?" The blonde prompted, before adding in an earnest glare at the memory. "You know, the day you almost gave me a heart attack?"
It was a regular day at the automobile shop. The business had been solid as usual, enough to keep Yang grounded for a few respectable hours.
Sweating profusely, Yang worked under the sun, peering into engines of dusty, broken-down cars. Although most of her co-workers advised her to work in the shade of the garage, to avoid the worst of heat strokes, there was something about the sun that Yang enjoyed.
In the middle of July, however, perhaps it wasn't the best choice.
She slammed the hood of an old Toyota shut and stepped back into the shed for a short break. As the blonde sat down on some nearby tool boxes, she pulled her phone out from her pocket, pressing a button and buzzing it back to life.
Immediately, a score of notifications popped up, alerting her to a few missed calls and one recorded voice message. It had all been from Ruby, which the blonde found a bit unsettling. Her sister knew better than to try and reach her during her work hours. It would have to be an absolute emergency. A sense of uneasiness rising in her stomach, Yang slid her thumb across the screen and pressed the phone against her ear, listening nervously to the most recent voicemail.
"Hey, Yang! It's me. Uh... I've been in a small accident. Could you come over here and sign some forms? I'm at the hospital on..."
"I panicked, like any older sister would." Yang shrugged with nonchalance. "But you sounded fine over the phone, so I calmed myself down and went over to the hospital to pick you up."
"Ruby Rose! Who taught you to leave messages like that? Been in an accident? Come and sign some forms? What the hell is wrong with you?"
A few nurses scurried out of the way, cowering as a very sweaty and a very angry-looking blonde charged towards the hospital bed.
"Now, tell me where it hurts!" Yang roared. "Are you in any pain? Who do I need to beat up?"
"Yeah... You took it really well." Ruby rolled her eyes.
"Oh, shut up."
"I'm fine, sis! I swear!" Honestly, Ruby would have sounded a lot more convincing to her sister if she hadn't been lying down with her right arm bandaged into a neat cast. At the look of angry concern, Ruby reluctantly added in a small mumble, "Just a broken bone, that's all... And a minor concussion..."
"Tell me what happened," Yang growled, "Now."
"Okay, okay," Ruby conceded, deciding that she would have to tell the story eventually. "So, after classes, I was sitting at the Pink Lotus Ice Cream parlor ordering my usual."
"Three scoops of triple fudge ice cream with extra syrup and sprinkles on top," Yang recited her sister's favorite order, no longer fazed by Ruby's ridiculously exorbitant sweet tooth.
"And as I was enjoying my little bowl of heaven..." Ruby paused, smacking her lips together at the memory. "In came this girl..."
"Oh?" Yang ever-so-slightly cocked an eyebrow, tension steadily residing as the story began to pique her interests.
"I still remember it as clear as yesterday." Yang exhaled happily, simmering in the light of the memory. "The day my sister finally voiced her opinion...about a girl she wanted to bang."
"Yang!" Ruby aimed for another strike – this time a punch, to her sister's shoulder. "That is not what I said at all!"
"Nope!" The blonde laughed, gingerly rubbing her spot of injury. "What you said was more along the lines of..."
"So, this girl walks in and her entire head is white. I don't mean like old grandma white but all shiny and silky white," Ruby briefed hurriedly as if she wanted to make sure Yang was getting an accurate impression of this girl. "Anyways, she came in looking all confused since there are like a thousand different flavors to choose from at that place."
"Sixteen flavors. But go on."
"Well, maybe I wanted an excuse to talk to her," huffed Ruby in an annoyed fashion. "Anyways, I go up to her and give her a small tap on the shoulder. She turns around and I see that she has...the prettiest, bluest eyes I've ever seen before! So naturally, I freeze up."
"Uh oh." Yang internally groaned, knowing too well that her sister's record of social interactions wasn't the best. She was nice and friendly, of course. But whenever the girl tried too hard to make a good first impression, her words came out in moron.
"Basically, I'm standing there, staring at her, like a complete idiot. And of course, she gets spooked by this totally creepy stranger looking at me. So she finally snaps and asks me what I want and I... I shouted anything that came to mind!" Ruby deflated, her face plummeting down onto the bed. Whatever she disclosed next came out indecipherable through the blankets.
"Which was?" Yang asked, waiting for a reiteration.
"Napkins!" Ruby resurfaced, gasping the word out like a ball of air. "In the middle of the whole store, I yelled napkins!"
"And what did the girl do?" Yang asked, trying very hard not to laugh.
"She glared at me, for a couple of seconds. Then she grabbed the box of tissues next to her and passed it down to me."
"Okay... So you got your napkins." Yang sank into the chair by her sister's bedside. "That doesn't sound too bad?"
"Trust me, it gets worse," Ruby forewarned. She heaved in before continuing with a heavy heart. "After she passed me the napkins, I didn't have any excuses left to talk to her. So I was going to go back to my seat and finish up my dessert. But then, I saw the girl leaving and she forgot some of her change money on the counter. Obviously, I decided to pick it up and run after her. She didn't exactly hear me as she left, so I followed her out and..."
"Go on." Yang nodded slowly, still unsure how a broken arm managed to fit itself into the equation.
"I may have opened the door a bit too quickly... It slammed against the wall, scaring her, and she kind of lost her balance...over some stairs." Ruby lowered her head, a mixture of shame and guilt settling in her eyes.
"Oh my god, Ruby." Yang gasped in horror as her mind raced to the worst possible conclusion. "Did you kill her?"
"What? Of course not! I caught her before she fell down! ...But uh... I couldn't exactly find my own footing either." Ruby pointed towards her injured arm. "Hence, the cast."
A face-palm was in order as Yang squeezed the bridge of her nose. "So… Where is she now?"
"Ahem." A fine noise brought the attention of the two.
Yang turned her head to see an attractive young woman enter the room, dressed in a white blouse and tight jeans. Ruby's description had been essentially correct; Yang noticed her white hair, pulled back into a long ponytail draping over her shoulders. And indeed, a pair of electric blue eyes gazed over at them. She was of a petite stature, though the way she held herself, back straight and shoulders upright, established an air of authority that even the blonde could not deny.
For some strange reason, which Yang could not identify, the girl didn't seem unfamiliar.
"Yeah... The princess had a pretty big stick up her ass when we first met," Yang grumbled. "Still does, but it's a lot more bearable now."
Ruby simply chose to glare at her sister through the corner of her eyes. "She was being perfectly nice."
"I don't think I will ever be able to understand why you chased me outside the shop or why you decided to hurtle yourself down a flight of stairs." The girl spoke without an ounce of affection or gratitude. "But I suppose you did save me from a couple of trying injuries, so I charged the hospital bill to my account. I believe that this will be enough to settle the matter?"
She stared at them, as if daring the two to go against any of her words.
"No, she was being snooty," Yang countered. "And I was being the best wingwoman ever."
"Uh... Yeah! That sounds great. Thank you so much," Ruby peeped in a slightly disappointed undertone.
Despite the fact that the girl in front of her acted too prim and prudish for her tastes, Yang decided to uphold her sister's prior courage and rose from her seat.
"Hey!" Yang fiercely walked up to the woman, towering over her by another head. "My baby sister has a broken arm because of you and that's all you can say?"
"She's hardly a child." The woman scoffed, her arms crossed and locked in position. "And if she didn't startle me in the first place, I wouldn't have fallen."
"So she opened the door really loudly, big deal!" The blonde dismissed. "How hard is it to keep your two feet on the ground?"
"Then what exactly are you suggesting that I do?" She questioned, a scowl slipping through the girl's polite façade.
Narrowed lilac eyes leveled a stare at her. Then, Yang suddenly broke out into a broad grin, startling the other down as she asked: "How old are you?"
"Excuse me?" The woman took a step back, pondering if madness ran in the family.
"How old are you?" Yang repeated with more exertion this time.
"...Twenty-three," she answered through gritted teeth.
"And your name?"
There was another indignant pause.
"Your name, princess?" Yang asked again, this time with a wily leer.
The already stony expression hardened. "Weiss Schnee."
There was a moment of silence, as Ruby stared tensely between her sister and her mystery crush.
And then…
"Holy shit!" Yang exploded. "You're Weiss-fucking-Schnee! I knew I saw you from somewhere!"
The blonde pointed at the girl, quite rudely from any angle of observation. Weiss tilted her head away in disdain, not bothering to dignify Yang's profanity with a proper response.
"Okay, maybe not the best wingwoman ever," Yang added reluctantly, as Ruby had been soundlessly glaring at her. "But still, I'm better than most!"
"Who?"
The word echoed across the room, earning Ruby a jerked reaction from not only her older sister but also from her honored guest as well.
"Ruby! This is Weiss Schnee! The Schnee family, you know, the big business tycoons of the diamond industry?"
Innocent, blank eyes blinked up at her with no sign of recollection.
Sighing, Yang put into simpler terms. "You almost offed an heiress to the richest company in this country!"
"And then, you proceeded to spew out a dozen more apologies, at the end of which, the pissed off princess simply threw out a card with her number on it and left the building." Yang sighed happily as the memories came to a slow halt. "Best how-your-mommies-met-each-other-story I can tell my nephews and nieces in the future."
"How was this supposed to cheer me up again?" Ruby moaned, rubbing the side of her head.
"The point of this story was that you made a complete ass of yourself the first time you guys met and she still stuck around. And that's not because Weiss is the most tolerant, forbearing person out there. Because let's face it, she's not." Yang bent her arms around Ruby, pulling her in closer. "She stuck around because you are special. Socially awkward or not, you're lovable in your own way, sis. You don't have to try and be someone you're not."
"Besides..." Yang passed her a fairly playful wink. "Being irresistibly charming and dressing provocatively is kind of my thing. And I would appreciate it if you didn't take that away from me."
"Thanks, Yang." Ruby smiled genuinely. "I think that might have helped me out a little."
"No problem." The blonde flashed her a toothy grin.
"And Yang?"
"Yeah?"
"There's just two hours and forty-nine minutes left now."
"Oh, for fuck's sake."