Frannie

And it's hard to dance with the devil on your back

So shake him out

The first time her dad hits her, Frannie is too shocked to do anything. She's literally too scared to breathe, in case the sound will annoy her dad again. He's furious and she doesn't even know why.

Was it because she ended her bed time prayers short last night? Was it because she forgot to kiss him goodbye on her first day of first grade? Or was it because she traded her PB&J sandwich with her new best friend?

She's six and clueless and all she knows is that this is all her fault.

Quinn's freshman year of college

Quinn wordlessly accepts the cup of hot chocolate that she hands her and Frannie takes a seat with her own mug.

"Johnny's growing up so quickly," Quinn muses with a small smile. She had just helped Frannie get little Johnny into bed, tucking his blanket and promising to see him more often.

Frannie smiles at the thought of her sleeping son upstairs.

"I know," She says. "He'll be going off to college before I know it."

"Where's Mark?" Quinn asks.

"Oh, probably still at work," Frannie hurriedly mumbles, not really sure where her husband is.

There's awkward silence and Frannie fidgets in her seat.

"How's college?" she starts, offering a nervous smile.

Quinn's face is tight. Like she doesn't know what to do with herself.

She takes a sip, and Frannie does the same, averting her gaze.

"It's," and then Quinn's stuck.

"It's college."

Frannie nods, realizing that it still feels like there is an ocean separating the two of them. How did they get this way?

"It's going well," Quinn tries to amend with a small smile. "This is delicious, by the way."

Then Quinn laughs a little.

"Not as good as mom's," She adds. "But it's still pretty damn good."

All of this takes Frannie by surprise. Her little sister talking about their mother so lightly, with a reminiscent smile on her face. Her little sister cussing slightly. Her little sister calling out of the blue. Her little sister standing on her doorstep when she opened her door.

Frannie doesn't even realize that she's rubbing her arm anxiously, with her eyes flitting between the annoyingly loud clock ticking above the sink and the back door, until Quinn makes a strange face and almost softens.

"Fran, I—" Quinn starts again, looking like she's unsure of what it is that she's trying to say. Frannie looks at her. She suddenly feels so old and tired. So old.

She's twenty-four.

"Remember when we rode our bikes out to that second hand bookstore outside of town?" Frannie asks with a reluctant smile. "You were probably 5 or 6 then. It was three floors of used books. You looked like what most kids looked like when you took them to the candy store."

Quinn just watches her, so Frannie continues.

"At some point, I lost you. I was frantic, you know. I thought you'd left. Or that someone took you," Frannie explains. "But then I found you, sitting cross legged on the window sill up in the attic, holding Matilda upside down."

Quinn smiles.

"You were so angry," she muses.

"Only because you scared the living daylights out of me," Frannie lets out in defense.

The two of them fall quiet and Frannie tightens her hold on her mug.

"Dad hit me real hard the day before that," Frannie reveals, not looking up from her hot chocolate. "That backpack that I had? All my birthday money was in a plastic baggie inside. I had a whole loaf of bread with a jar of peanut butter. I had some bananas too. And a map of Ohio."

She looks up and finds Quinn watching her intently.

"I was going to run away and take you with me and never look back," She tells Quinn with a small smile. "I had it in my head that we'd eventually join the circus or something."

Frannie watches as Quinn's lower lip falls slightly.

"…You told me we were going to go on an adventure…but then I had to pee," She recalls slowly. And Frannie nods. "And the bookstore was there."

"We ended up sitting there and I read books to you for almost two hours," Frannie reminisces. "You fell in love with Nancy Drew. But you loved Matilda the most."

Frannie brings her arms around herself, smiling at Quinn.

"You were convinced you could also make something move with your mind."

"You bought me that book," Quinn says.

Frannie nods quietly.

"I still have it," Quinn adds quietly. She watches the older Fabray as she swirls her hot chocolate.

"I wanted to be like Miss Honey-get out of there and then get settled and get you out of there. You and me, like Miss Honey and Matilda. But I didn't know how to protect you," Frannie says quietly. "And instead of figuring it out, I just go out the moment that I could."

She lets out a laugh.

"Only to end up in the exact same spot," She muses to herself, but Quinn catches her.

"I'm sorry, Quinn," Frannie whispers, hoping that Quinn can see how genuinely sorry she is.

"Hey," Quinn starts out gently, taking her sister's hand into hers. "You were there. Maybe not physically, but your calls and your emails and your letters reminded me that you'll always be there. You have your own life to live too."

Quinn smiles.

"Besides, it's not too late. I'll never not need a big sister."

Frannie laughs, moving in to hug Quinn. Somehow, they both end up crying.

"DOGGY!" Johnny screams, scrambling to get up from the grass and pet a dog passing by. Frannie smiles and hears Quinn laughing from next to her.

"What's his name, honey?" Judy calls out, taking out her camera to take pictures of her grandson and the dog.

It's Mom's weekend and the four of them are enjoying ice cream on the OSU Quad, sitting on the grass and listening to Quinn relate the events of her freshman year with wonder and subtle hand gestures.

"It's Sammy, Gramma!" Johnny yells out enthusiastically. "Like auntie Q's friend."

Quinn laughs even harder. Johnny waves them over.

"I want to pet the dog," Quinn semi-whines, getting up and walking towards the dog. She kneels down and when Johnny starts introducing Quinn to the dog, Quinn reaches out and ruffles his hair.

Frannie smiles.

"Quinn looks beautiful on this campus," Frannie observes. Her mom nods next to her. "She looks so happy."

"It hasn't been easy for your sister," Judy remembers. "But she pulled through with flying colors. She was always so smart and imaginative and reluctant, you know? And then she changed. She was this new person and I was worried that we had lost your sister forever. But I was wrong. She's so special. She helped me get here. And she inspired me to live like I've always dreamed of."

Frannie falls quiet and she starts picking at the hem of her dress.

"I'm sorry, mom," She starts. "I—I just left the moment I could. I abandoned you and Quinn."

Judy shakes her head, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of Frannie's hair.

"Don't blame yourself," Judy tells her. "Quinn didn't need saving. She saved herself."

Frannie, with watery eyes, nods slowly.

"You deserve all the happiness in the world too, Frannie," Judy adds, looking back at Quinn and Johnny, both running back to them with smiles on their faces.

Quinn's sophomore year

Quinn picks up after three rings and she sounds like she's out of breath.

"Frannie, hey," Frannie hears her voice on the other line and she clings on to it like it's a life saver.

"Hi, Quinn," Frannie says, her voice shaky. She looks at the rearview mirror and sees Johnny fast asleep in his car seat. "Do you mind if Johnny and I stay with you tonight?"

Quinn's quiet for a split second.

"No, of course not. You're always welcome to stay with me."

Frannie finishes tucking Johnny in Quinn's bed and when she comes out of the bedroom, she finds Quinn sitting on the couch with two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table. She looks up, startled out of her thoughts.

"Hey," Quinn says, patting the spot next to her.

Frannie walks over, sitting down and taking the mug that Quinn offers her.

"I'm sorry that this is on such short notice," Frannie starts rambling nervously.

"Frannie," Quinn says abruptly, looking at her seriously. "What happened to your face?"

Frannie stops talking. She looks down.

"Mark hit me," She reveals quietly. "He's always had a temper. And he has his way with words. He can reduce you to feeling like you're worth nothing without him. Just with words."

She's quiet for a second. There is some truth to the saying that girls end up marrying their fathers.

"But this is the first time he's hit me," She continues. "And I was scared. I thought he was going to hurt Johnny too."

She looks up and sees that Quinn's jaw is tight and her hands are balled into fists.

"I was so scared, Quinn," She whispers, finally crying. Quinn softens and envelops her in a hug immediately.

"It's okay," Quinn tells her quietly. "You're safe with me."

The next day, Quinn's friends—Sam and Mike—go back with them to pack some of Frannie's and Johnny's things. Mark is nowhere to be found, and Frannie is thankful for that. They pack the essentials—whatever they can fit into their cars—and Quinn remains steady and calm next to Frannie.

Before they leave, Frannie stands at the doorway and looks around the house quietly.

"I'm glad Mark isn't here," Quinn says quietly. "I would have kicked his ass."

Frannie smiles.

"I can't take this," Frannie says sharply, handing the check back to Quinn. "This is yours Quinn. You were putting this away for a reason."

They've just finished bringing Frannie's things up to Judy's new place and the two of them are standing out by the car while Judy makes Johnny some lunch. Quinn shakes her head.

"I'm not giving it to you, Fran," Quinn tells her. "I'm letting you borrow it. It's not much, but it should help you until you figure stuff out. Take it for Johnny."

Frannie is quiet.

"And then pay me back," Quinn continues. And then she smiles. "With lots of interest obviously."

Frannie laughs and rolls her eyes.

"Come here, you silly kid," Frannie says with open arms, hugging Quinn tight.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

Quinn's junior year

"Mom! Gramma! Aunt Q is here!" Johnny screams excitedly as Quinn exits the train. He runs up to her and Quinn laughs, giving him a tight hug.

"Hi, Johnny," Quinn says, ruffling his hair. "Have you been a good boy?"

"Yep!" Johnny tells her with a toothy grin. "I got a golden star this month at my new school!"

He pulls out the star from his pocket and Frannie actually laughs.

"Johnny, I didn't know you had that with you."

"How are you?" Quinn asks quietly as they set the table. Judy and Johnny are in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on their Thanksgiving turkey.

"Good," Frannie says with a small but genuine smile. And she means it. Good. The divorce papers are in; the three of them have finally settled in this new condo of theirs; Johnny loves his new school; and the corner bakery/coffee shop that she started with her mom is actually doing well.

And her sister is here and they're all together and happy. Everything is good.

That night, Frannie wakes up to get a glass of water and finds Quinn sitting at the counter with a cup of hot chocolate.

"Hey," Frannie mumbles sleepily, stealing some of Quinn's hot chocolate.

"That was mine," Quinn says with a slight whine, laughing as she pulls the mug back.

"What's up?" Frannie asks, sitting down on the stool next to her.

Quinn shrugs.

"Things," Quinn lets out. "I don't know. My MCAT is coming up; I guess I'm just a little nervous."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. What if I'm not good enough to be a doctor?"

She looks down.

"What if…what if I'm not who I thought I was? Or who you thought I was?"

Frannie, in her sleep deprived state, props her elbow and leans on her hand. Somehow, she feels like this goes beyond Quinn's doubts about medical school.

"Then you grow to become who you are," Frannie explains. "And it won't make a difference to me, or to mom, or to Johnny. All we'll care about is that you're happy. You know that, right?"

Quinn nods slowly and she turns to Frannie with a smile.

"Yeah."

"Besides, if you don't become a doctor—which you will—I'm sure you'll find something to do with your life that you love. You can do anything, Quinn."

Quinn's 4th year of medical school

"Where are you going, honey?" Frannie hears Judy say as she gets up from her chair and straightens up her dress.

"I just have to use the washroom really quick," Frannie whispers urgently, ducking and making her way out to the aisle.

"Well, hurry, they're just about to start!"

Frannie nods, speed walking out of the auditorium. By the time she makes it out of the washroom, there's already a line of deep purple graduation gowns waiting patiently in front of the main doors of the auditorium.

Frannie stops and turns back to the line of people several feet away from her, where she instantly finds Quinn fiddling with her tassel. And then her robe. And then her hat. And then her tassel again. Frannie almost laughs because this is a habit of Quinn's when she is nervous.

Quinn must've heard her thoughts because she turns to Frannie's direction and catches her sister's eye.

Frannie just smiles softly and gives her a small hand wave. Quinn smiles a small but genuine smile and raises her hand slightly to wave back. Frannie motions to her cap, which fell askew from all of her tinkering with it. Quinn laughs and fixes it. And when Pomp and Circumstance starts booming from inside the auditorium, Quinn shoos her with her hands and Frannie just laughs, turning and hurrying back to her seat.