Chapter One - Introductions
Kim's Point of View
I am not a person that anybody notices. Well I do have the three lunch acquaintances. We're those awkward people in the high school who have no real friends and sit together because there aren't enough tables for us each to have one to are nice people, weird like me. I am shy, very shy. I don't ever talk unless I have to. Even then it just sounds awkward, which is what I am.
Christie always ends up annoying people. She doesn't mean to, although she never gives much thought about what she is going to say. She doesn't care. She is blunt, honest and says what she thinks. This usually annoys people, that annoys her and she is bad-tempered so it never goes down well. That said, if you were in an argument you'd want her on your side.
Tom earned his place at the freak table by trying to kiss the captain of the football team, Matt. Matt was friends with Tom and was okay that he is gay, except Matt being a little bit pre-cautious after he told him. At some party Tom tried to kiss him but Matt freaked out and told everyone there horrible things about Tom. So from then on Tom sat with me, Christie and Laurie.
Laurie is just dazed out. She is the kind of person who has a generally high/mellow personality. She freaks people out a bit, thought when Tom or Christie talk to her she has conversations. Maybe they've just gotten used to her. Like they have gotten used to me not talking much. If I look too upset they'll ask why or if there is some exciting gossip at school they might ask my opinion. Most of the time they just say hello when I sit down with them and leave me to my lunch, diary and glancing.
What the hell! Jared is actually here today. I am never getting over this. He's 'alone' at a table and his friend Paul is trying to talk to him, asking him where he has been and what happened. Paul is shouting really which is what make me look in the first place and I don't understand why Jared won't talk to his best friend.
"Shut up Paul, I don't want to talk about this!" Jared cut Paul off mid-rant, shouting back.
Paul looked shocked, a little hurt almost. It soon faded and he was looking so angry again. Paul had a temper and Jared was always the one to calm him down a little if he was getting a bit out of control.
"Jar, what the fuck is going on with you!" He questioned further, projecting his annoyance at Jared through his words, and their volume.
Jared didn't bother to answer him again as he just ran out through the emergency exit of the cafeteria, looking angrier than Paul. Actually shaking with anger it was scaring me. I felt my eyes widen, and was left wondering. What was happening to Jared?
He was always kind of an annoying guy, in his jokey, douchy, bigheaded way. He wasn't a bad person. He was popular and carefree, funny, really cute and he was dating Penny Moore. She was lucky, I would never even get a chance with him. He is so far out of my league, I would have to run miles to see it.
Not that it mattered. What on earth could I say to Jared Cameron. I've never said a single thing to him. I hardly think I could. As I said I'm shy. It's not just a little bit as in I don't really like public speaking, or a medium amount were I am normal except taking a minute to get comfortable around people. I am not quite one of the super shy people who's worst nightmare is talking to multiple people or meeting a new person.
I am always shy around everybody, I hate talking to lots of people and it's not that I have anything against people I just can never think of anything good to say or I end up stuttering or uh-ing and erm-ing or saying the wrong thing. It's better that I'm quiet.
The remainder of lunch would have been boring apart from everyone was now talking about Jared and his angry outburst. I would think at least they weren't still making up rumours as to why he left, except now the rumours are connected and people are getting really into why he has been acting weird.
I want them to stop and get over it and mind their own business. Only I want to know too. I'm never going to know so I'll keep trying to stop thinking about it and give Jared his privacy.
Silently, I walked to history with Laurie. She was staring out of the windows in the hallway as we passed each one and at the rain outside. I have no clue what she was thinking about, it rained almost constantly around here. There was nothing new about the rain. I suppose Laurie had found something odd or something beautiful about the rain like how it is water and elemental.
I don't mean to sound judgy but she confused me and I overthink too much already so I should really leave these little things be. Good thing we were at Mr Sandal's History class room.
Jared wasn't in his seat yet. My seat, next to his, making this my favourite class in some ways although it was mainly annoying seeing as he just ignored me. And I was failing the class because I couldn't concentrate on the work with him so close to me. God, I'm so pathetic.
Although I have tried, I can't help hoping. When I see him, I smile. Still, after him sitting next to me for a year, never talking to me. Not noticing at all, acting like I'm not there. I'm totally invisible to him. I still like him. He is dating another girl, a pretty girl, though not up to his standard, as she doesn't have much personality, more of a chest and social status. Who I am nothing compared to. Unless you count how good I am at having no friends or that I get okay-good grades. I still like him.
I sit down. I get my books and stuff out and lay them on the desk, ready for the lesson, like always. I see him walk into the classroom, nearly late. But Mr Sandal isn't here yet either. I look at him, his shoulders hunched, his head down. The room is quieter for a second, then louder as the whispers develop between intrusive students.
He sits down, like he was in a rush to get here. He must want the lesson over. I can hear snippets of conversations, all about him. For his sake, I'm wishing he doesn't hear them. These aren't nice things, if I wasn't used to worse, I'd be crying. Feeling his pain. I glance up at him, he is looking straight forward, trying to ignore people I assume. I took my hair behind my ear and look at him just as he turns in my direction.
I'm not quick enough to look away. He sees me. And stares. I cannot possibly imagine how to describe that look. It was like he was perplexed with me. If I were more pignant, I'd believe it were love at first sight. I'm more realistic, that would never happen. Even if it could Jared had seen me many times, he hadn't cared one bit.
I turn away to check that he is actually looking at me like that, as it really is unlikely. He is probably looking at Michelle who sit a row across from me. She was beautiful, she has the general La Push features, on her they just look better. Most girls were envious and guys want her. But Jared has Penny, who is just as pretty really.
I turn back to Jared, confused. No one had been looking our way. Nothing is out of the ordinary. Except Jared. He had closed his mouth, having got over whatever kind of shock seeing me must have been for him. Maybe he just realised he sat next to someone. I don't know. He still hadn't looked away, and it was nice that I wasn't invisible to him anymore, but my hands are starting to shake with nerves.
Thank Goodness Mr Sandal walked in and started talking to the class. He couldn't just stare at me for a whole hour, especially not if he was supposed to paying attention. And he probably needed to, to catch up.
\-
Jared's Point of View
She was the personification of perfection. I read that in a book somewhere I didn't really know what it meant until her.
She was amazing. I just couldn't stop looking at her. I had to know more about her, hell I had to know everything about her. I didn't want her to keep any secrets from me, and I couldn't wait to share all of mine.
I don't understand what just happened. I had mentally prepared myself for another shit class. I sat down in my usual seat in history and saw her. Dark hair had covered her face, she was huddled over a notebook. I saw my name. Before I saw her, I was weirded out, when I'd seen her it had gave me hope.
I'd sat down and was ready to give up and go home. Paul had made me angry enough to need a run at lunch. We were friends and I felt bad, maybe soon he'll be a wolf too and we can be cool again. I just stared forward waiting for it to be over although it hadn't even started. I saw out the corner of my eye she turned to look at me. I was wondering if I knew her, maybe we slept together or something.
I hate myself now for thinking about her like this but it seemed the most likely thing. I would have known if I'd had sex with her. It was a dream to think about sex with her. I'd turned to look at her and I was hit with every good emotion towards her. I loved her and so much more. She was mine and I was hers. We were made to be together. We were perfect for each other. She was beautiful and wonderful and extraordinary in every single way.
I would never let her go. I would be with her forever. I would protect her until my death. I would love her forever. I'd be there for her whenever she needed me. I'd be anything she needed. I would be hers, only ever hers.
I've never felt anything like it before. Maybe it was a wolf thing. I'd have to ask Sam. And I'd have to ask this girl who she was, she must be new. I was off for three weeks so she would be used to school, by then. It made the most sense.
I love her blush. When I'd realised she felt awkward with me staring at her, I was filled with guilt. I looked away but couldn't help stealing glances. I am trying to not be obvious. Even with super wolf senses I can't be focused on anything other than this girl. This fucking amazing woman.
She is unimaginably fantastic. She has dark, straight, sleek hair. I wouldn't usually notice stuff like that. She makes me see it. Her hair reminds me of a woman-in-a-commercial's hair (that's where I got 'sleek' from) only hers is much better.
She has Quiluete features, hair, skin but unlike many here she has green eyes instead of dark brown. You wouldn't notice if you didn't really look. Since I couldn't stop staring I noticed. They were so dark you'd think brown but they blended into deep green. Beautiful.
They were gracefully shielded by her dark eyebrows. Even they were minions of their kind, utter supremacy. They weren't drawn on or styled in some unnatural way. I don't think she wore any make up. She was natural. Her eyebrows were straight above her eye and then accentuated the curve of her eye as they arched.
Her russet skin was flawless. Literally not one spot or line. She had slight under-the-skin spots, hardly noticeable, giving her face texture. She had a small, rounded, no, yeah, her cheeks were rounded and then her angular jawline made it, a soft firm edge. Maybe heart-shaped, I don't know, it just looks good.
Her skin looks soft, I wanted to reach out and hold her, feel her skin so gently she could hardly feel it and so slowly she couldn't mistake it. Maybe when we are not in the middle of an infinite lecture on some old shit I could work on getting towards these levels of intimacy.
She had a cute nose, probably smaller than average. It was gently sloped and delicate like the rest of her looked. A little turned up at the end, giving her dignity. She doesn't act stuck up, well she hasn't in the thirty minutes I have known her, she doesn't know how beautiful she is. She will when I finally get to talk to her. I want to tell her everyday, that when I see her, all I see is her, and she is the most beautiful person, in any world, any lifetime.
I've never sounded so prancy and girly. She makes me want to embrace every way of loving her. And I will. I will do anything for her.
And her lips, red and rich. They were naturally darker than most and I could see that she bit the bottom one. She had lip balm on and they glistened and looked plumper and more kissable. I decided they were my ultimate goal.
I nearly growled in the middle of class thinking along them lines so I moved on. That was a wrong move. My gaze travelled down her body. Her neck, collar bone and breasts. I sucked my breath in and admired for a second before I got my sanity back.
She deserved better than me eye-fucking her. She was much more than her body, however spectacular. I'd blame the supernatural horniness but I'd check her out anyway. I tried to pay attention for a minute, I really did, then I saw her glance at me.
Her eyes were even more alluring when they were aimed at me. Her stare caught mine and I couldn't breathe. My chest was tight and my palms sweaty. No one effected me as much as she did. I was more aware of myself this time and stopped my jaw from falling to the ground like the first time. I took in all of her beauty, her face had immaculate symmetry. Her mouth was slightly open, making a few front teeth visible. They also were a natural white and straight as a fence.
Her soft cheeks blazed scarlet and she turned away from me. I couldn't see much of her anymore, I stared just in case I might. She returned to scribbling away the lesson's notes in her notebook. The one with my name in it, I hope it was me, not someone else called Jared who she was thinking about.
Fuck. What if she has a boyfriend. She should. She was unbelievably pretty and probably smart by the amount of work she is writing down. I didn't matter I would wait for her. She and I were made to be together. I don't know why, I just knew it.
\-
Kim's Point of View
Still, he hadn't looked away. We were halfway through the lesson. Mr Sandal had talked for a few minutes and then gave us a questionnaire sheet about what we learnt last lesson. Jared hadn't even written anything. I hadn't written much but I did now know a small part of it. Simply because for the last few lessons I didn't have the distraction of sitting next to Jared.
He did look at the sheet when Mr Sandal gave it to him. So at least Mr Sandal won't think he is crazy. He didn't even get a pencil out. Fair enough that he wouldn't know any of the answers having missed the lessons but he could write something down, a guess, or not solely look at me.
"Mr Cameron, why is it that you can't look away from Miss Campbell?" Mr Sandal questioned. Making me jump at the sudden interruption of his own requested silence.
"Mr Cameron!" He said again, annoyed that Jared hasn't stopped looking. Most of the class was now too. I'm starting to feel even more nervous with all the people looking at me. I'm going bright red. Jared must have noticed because as soon as I felt it, he finally looked away.
"Sorry Sir." He replies bluntly. He was leaning back on his chair now, appearing back to his carefree attitude. He is looking mainly at Mr Sandal now, but glancing at me frequently. It feels like he is checking I'm still here.
"Not a great explanation," Mr Sandal remarked, sarcasm not suiting teachers, "Get back to your quiz."
Jared looked at his quiz properly for a minute, signed his name and fixed his gaze upon me. He did run his eyes over to our teacher occasionally, to avoid getting into trouble. Mr Sandal was satisfied when he saw Jared start to write, he didn't yet realise it was only a name at the top of the sheet.
\-
Jared's Point of View
"Mr Cameron!" Mr Sandal nearly shouted. I turned realising that annoying sound I just heard was him. He asked me something about a Miss Campbell. It clicked. That must be her surname. Campbell. I wonder if she likes it, will she want mine instead? Will she change it of her own will? Is it her father's? Is it a long family name? I like it.
I never had a problem with the history teacher before but now he had taken her away from me. He was making me angry. My worries about not being ready are nearly confirmed as my enraged tremors start up. I stare at him, trying to literally shoot daggers. Sadly that is not in my range of capabilities. Neither is will power to deprive myself of her.
I see her anxious look, a slight shake of her own. I calm in her gaze. I go back to my old self. May as well try to fit back in with school if I have to stay. If I have History every day I won't leave until she does. I glance at her, I can't stop myself.
"Sorry Sir," I act the student. I lean back, my chair at a precautions angle. As if I would be sorry for wanting to see her.
"Not a great explanation," Said Mr Sandal, the idiotic dick, "Get back to your quiz."
I carried on my student attitude and tried again to be part of the classwork, and not stare at Miss Campbell being from anyone else's view I'm just a freaky stalker. The quiz was all about shit like which President did some cool thing and what was the date of something.
I can't concentrate, she knows loads of answers. I wouldn't copy her, I'm admiring her. I sign my name then relax again, at least if Stupid Sandal wants to be annoying about it I have a good alibi of missing three weeks worth of lessons.
The bell rings and I jump up, ready to talk to her. I don't want to make her late to next period but I need to know at least her name. She gathers her stuff while I wait. She is petite, especially compared to me. I feel obliged to be gentle and very careful with her. She looks a little frail, she isn't stick-thin, she is a little thin. I wonder how she'd react to my eating, she'd probably be shocked. So would most people though, except Sam.
She rests her rucksack on her right shoulder. I nearly reach out to take it from her, I restrain myself knowing it would be weird to do so without talking to her, introducing myself first. She wears a dark top, with buttons six buttons down from the neckline below her collarbone.
Her chest rises and falls dramatically as she breathes. I hope she's okay. I shake off my worry and stop staring at her softly, defined chest and see her. She walks past me and I follow her, walking with her. She looks up at me and for the first time, I feel self-conscious.
She looks, less than I had, more than most people do. More intently than most people. I smile at her and see her blush a little as she takes in my whole body.
When her eyes reach mine, they settle. My smile grows and I can't understand her expression. Her eyebrows hunched, in concentration or confusion? She smiles a little and I'm overcome with completeness. Her smile is so perfect. She has ideal teeth, any dentist would worship. And her deep lips accommodate them gently, their darkness making them all the whiter.
\-
Kim's Point of View
I do not understand how this is actually real. It is kind of freaking me out. There is no reason that Jared Cameron would be looking at me like that. And I really don't understand why he continued to look at me for so long.
The class has finally finished and I'm packing my things up. Not as neat as usual, as I, obviously, am still freaking out and nervous from the attention. Jared just grabbed his book and stood up once the bell went.
Everyone is starting to leave and Jared is just standing there, staring at me. Again. I start to walk out and he walks beside me. I feel minuscule, standing at five foot four, avarage. He was anything but.
Well over six feet, probably nearly six and a half foot. His whole body had changed. He is bigger, he is really muscular, as well as considerably taller. He can't have been that tall when he left school. I wouldn't be so surprised now. But I suppose I haven't been in very close proximity to notice. He has long, rounded muscles, making me feel a little weak in the knees.
I was getting caught up looking at him now. His hotness was overpowering. He has the russet skin and looked categorically like everyone else, but he is so much better. I know I must be biased but the beautiful brown eyes look deeper, like there is so much more to him. More secrets, more strength, more aloneness.
His black hair that used to be long, past his shoulders is now cropped short. It is unusual in La Push, practically everyone has long hair. He did look good, it is odd to see his face more. It is definitely better. His features were more defined. He is beautiful. As beautiful as I have imagined for the duration of his absence.
As I made this common observation, it was a fact really, no one could doubt it. He is hot. I always knew it but it seems more now, like it is more prominent since he changed in the three weeks. He was looking into my eyes. We were looking into each other's eyes. I tear away my eyes and start walking as quickly as I dared, knowing I would probably fall over at a moment like this, just to embarrass myself further.
I cannot believe after how much I hated him staring at me and I have just done the same to him. But standing in the middle of a classroom full of people. At least I had the decency to look away when I realised. He had been fully aware and had continued for the hourlong lesson.
He caught up with me swiftly, it was just a few steps for him.
"Hey, I'm Jared," He spoke with that carefree tone again, looking at me expectantly. The look, is still filled with more. It is depper, more desperate, happier and completely willing.
"I know, erm, I'm Kim," I stutter. Great, this is the first time I have ever spoken to my super crush and I am totally ruining it with not being able to speak like a real person. And admitting that I know exactly who he is.
"So Kim, can I walk you to your next class?" He asks and smiles at me. I have the most butterflies possible in my stomach and I feel like I am either going to be sick or faint. How could I possibly talk to him properly?! Why is he even talking to me?! Is he playing a practical joke on me?! Is this all just some joke at my expense, so he can laugh with his friends later?!
But he has been acting different all day. He wasn't talking to Paul and I haven't even seen him with anyone. And now he was talking to me, looking like the happiest person in the world.
That smile. It is killing me. It gives off a warm glow of happiness. And it is so bright, it could have been the sun. And I was stupidly too close. I was sunburnt. He would laugh. It must be a joke. It wasn't real. It wasn't possible. He had a girlfriend. He was too hot. Different leagues. Never going to happen. A joke.
"No thanks," I rushed. I shook my tears away as I raced down the hall way. I just about saw his face as I spoke and it had fallen from a great high. He looked like I had just told him he was dying as I ran off.
I darted into a disabled cubicle in the ladies toilets and sunk to the floor, weeping. I didn't like to cry, it made me feel even weaker but I couldn't help it. I never could. Not with my step dad. Not now. I could handle the physical pain from him, I had gotten used to it. But the emotional pain from Jared. No, it was too much.
I hated myself for believing that it could be possible. I was getting wrapped up in him, I didn't even really know him, I just knew about him. We didn't talk, we didn't walk to class together. It wasn't how life worked. It is not that kind.
\-
Jared's Point of View
"Hey, I'm Jared," I tried to be normal and not declare me undying love for her, an almost stranger. It was a stupid introduction, I should have been cooler. She just looks at me, a little hurt?
What have I done? I'm such an insensitive douchebag. I know, this time I was trying to be a nice guy. I want to be the good guy for Kim. I need her to give me a chance. I need her to be okay. I need her full-stop.
"I know, I'm Kim," She says a little jittery. She is cute like a girl should be. I smile at her. She seems okay again. Wait, she knows me. Damn, she mustn't be new. I can't believe I didn't know that. I didn't know her. Kim. I didn't know Kim. How could I have ever missed Kim. She was unavoidable. She was beautiful in every way. I can't tear my eyes away from her, how could I not have felt this before. Why now?
It must be a wolf thing, it feels so personal. Just mine and Kim's. I'm getting sidetracked, she is staring at the ground, her shiny hair a sheet over her. I want to hold her, feel her close to me, just enjoy her presence in my life. I know she could done better, I hope she chooses not to.
"So Kim," She looks up at me and I nearly forget what I'm saying, "Can I walk you to your next class?" I smile, unable to hold back my happiness.
The whole hour I've just wanted to know her name, Kim. Now I'm making normal conversation. My joy is short-lived. She looks away again, but I see tears in her eyes. I've made her sad? My heart literally just got crushed into a pile of little pieces and dust.
"No thanks," Kim mumbles, her lip quivering. My face falls as she turns away and practically runs towards the ladies room. I stand in shock. She looks back before she goes in and she looks even sadder when she sees my face. A tear breaks through and steams down her cheekbone, along her cheek and she rips herself away from me.
\-