Thanks for the reviews :D they make me very happy.
This chapter is a bit shorter, struggled a bit (mainly because of my bad English, so I can't write everything I want) but hope it turned out OK :) please let me know what you think.
"Thank you" Anna whispered while John got a chair near the fire himself.
"You must be chilled yourself, I don't want you to be suffering, wearing nothing but a t-shirt". She blushed, realizing their state of undress.
"A little rain and cold is not going to harm me Anna. But thank you for your concern. I'm afraid my coat afforded me more protection then yours, so my shirt is relatively dry"
Anna smiled back, not knowing what else to say. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, she pulled the blanket up to her chin, trying to cover her soaking blue dress, which was now almost made transparent by the water.
Anna saw John had noticed her discomfort because he turned his chair a little, so he could watch the fire instead of her. Always so respectable. He then gather some more logs and placed them in the fire. Watching him work, Anna could help but smile and think about the intimacy of their situation.
Slowly it started to get warmer in the cottage. Anna didn't know what was the cause of this: the fire or watching John.
"Are you still cold?" he asked after a while. Anna chuckled to herself "The fire has warmed me up considerably Mr. Bates, thank you" she answered. They now gazed at each other for some time and all they could hear was the rain against the window and cracking of the fire.
Anna saw a red flush spread across his cheeks, just before his eyes left hers. "What's wrong Mr. Bates?"
"Well, I'm afraid to broach the subject, but I feel I must. I noticed the rain has permeated your apparel in such way that sitting by the fire will not dry them. I'm convinced your health will be at risk if you keep them on." He spoke embarrassed. Now it was Anna's time to blush every shade of pink. She sat stunned in silence, unable to reply.
"Of course you can cover yourself in the blankets, while your clothing dries next to the fire. If you don't remove them, I'm afraid you'll catch a fever."
Anna could see the logic in his request but could not bring herself to action. As if John could feel her embarrassment, he walked to the other end of the room, looking outside trough one of the windows. He stood now with his back to Anna. The rain kept trashing against the cottage. "I'll give you some time to remove them. Of course, I won't force you if you don't feel comfortable doing this…"
"Well, I can't even believe I'm contemplating removing my clothes in the presence of a gentleman… but in this situation, I'm glad it's you." "You can trust me Anna, I would never deliberately hurt you in any way.."
"I know Mr. Bates… I know." Now he was silent. Of course she knew, he didn't have to have said that, but it was nice he did.
Anna stood on one leg. Lost in thought, she picked at a lose tread as she considered the intimate situation again. She did not doubt his honourability, but wished he wasn't so respectable today. She couldn't help the small sigh of pleasure that escaped at the thought of him, touching her again. John shifted slightly but did not turn.
Anna now started her attempt of removing her clothes, but soon discovered this wasn't an easy job with her painful wrists and trying to keep balance. She couldn't reach the straps on the mid-section of her back. She now desperately tried to find a way and moved in an uncomfortable position.
"Is everything going alright, Miss Smith?" John asked in a strained voice.
"I'm not entirely sure, Mr. Bates, I'm having difficulties to get myself undressed,.. My wrists are still very painful and I struggle to get some of the last straps loose… But I'm sure if I'll try a little harder…" She couldn't finish her sentence because John already offered his help. "Maybe I can be of some assistance?" He didn't turn, but waited for her replay. Anna could feel her heart pounding in her chest.
After some time John broke the silence "I didn't mean to offend you, I'm sorry Anna."
"You didn't offend me" Anna replied. She was afraid her heavy breathing would give away her anticipation.
John turned and walked back to where Anna was standing. He took his place next to her, so she could balance herself with the help of his strong shoulder. She could hear his breathing against her cheek and noticed his breathing was heavy and horse, like hers. She met his gaze and felt her pulse racing.
Was he ready to take this step? A loud thunder broke the tension and made his eyes move to a less distracting object. "I will not simply give up" Anna said, just when he loosened the first strap. He didn't reply and moved to the next strap, taking a deep breath. Trailing his finger down her back, he could feel the heath trough the thin chemise she was wearing. He reached for the third strap when she spoke again "Not until you tell me why we can't ever be together".
He didn't dare to look into her eyes but stopped to move to the next strap. His hand was now on the small of her back. John swallowed before he finally replied. "I wish I could give you everything Anna. But I made choices in live and I can't undo them".
"I don't ask for everything. I only ask for love, John." Suddenly awakened by hearing his first name, he gazed back at her. He saw tears forming in her eyes. He replied by speaking softly in het ear, his voice thick with restrained emotion "If we could live on love alone, I would make you the happiest woman on this earth Anna, but I can never love you in public, never touch you or comfort you, never promise you anything, I can't even give you a safe place to come home to… even if I want all those things too. Being with me would hurt you… you deserve much more then just love…".
Anna faced him, a tear fell down her cheek. John removed it with his thumb en continued to the last strap. He placed one hand on her shoulder and slid his other thumb under the fabric of her dress, making sure it would slip of. He could feel her shiver and swallow back the tears. Anna crossed her arms, to hold her dress up and John could step back.
"You're telling me you want this too then, that you can love me… ?" Anna stuttered.
"I do, I do love you, my dearest, loveliest Anna… I can't believe I'm telling you this.. But it's better if we stay away from each other" John closed his eyes before walking back to the window, leaving Anna by the fire. "I think we see things differently, please explain this to me John" Anna continued seriously.
"It won't do us any good… please, leave it" John begged. "It appears that we will be here for some time. It won't do us any good either if we stay here all night, not talking to each other." Anna replied.
John watched the reflection, of the fire and Anna in front of it, in the window. She looked like an Angel. A stubborn Angel, is what he thought. Her beautiful blond hair was falling over her shoulders. She held her head down and was facing the fire. He could look at her all night. Embrace her, kiss her and make love to her. He could show her what real love was about. Being together, comfort each other. But he couldn't let himself. For her sake.
"Please, don't turn around. I will undress myself now…" Anna whispered. Before he could even think, she let her dress drop and stepped out of it. He didn't mean to look at her trough the reflection, but it was to late. Thank god, she didn't noticed. He could see her perfect shapes trough her chemise, which was so thin the light of the fire shinned trough it.
John gazed at her for a moment and then shut his eyes. "Please tell me… when you're ready.." he stuttered. He could hear her getting the blankets of the sofa and wrap herself in them. "Ready" she told him after a minute.
He waited a few second to turn around. He was afraid to look at her. He had been with naked woman before, but it had been nothing like this. She wasn't even completely naked - thank god she still wears her chemise - he thought..
He sat down on his chair, hoping he could finally rest a bit, when Anna announced, "It's time to talk now."
'till next chapter!