Tuesday 27th May/ Period 1+2 Therapy

When Anya showed her breasts yesterday we were all sent to therapy because we were all 'scarred'. So, that is why I'm sat in a chair across from Mr. Giles, the man I previously thought was homeless. Well, at least I get to miss my first two lessons. Bonus. Were doing therapy three people at a time so it's me, Buffy and Drusilla.

"They were like two big clouds of fuzzy love." Drusilla says, making weird hand gestures.

"I think they were bigger than mine!" Buffy exclaims, suprised.

"I honestly didn't see them." I say.

"Do you have pictures?" Giles asks, leaning forward.

"No!" I exclaims.

"Yes." Buffy and Drusilla say in usion.

"Well," Mr Giles clears his throat "I'll need them for examantion."

Yuck. Yuck. And yuck!

Break

There they are. Spike and Buffy. Canoodling at their table. Dawn thinks it's romantic. HOW is it romantic when a guy twists your boobs and goes "Calling all cars, are you receiving me?" And the popular table just exploded with laughter. I seriously think Amy is going to spontaneously combust with fury. She said its vile and disgusting and was all set to tell the teacher until Dawn stopped her. Great, I better jot this down for future blackmail.

"Just because YOU like porn doesn't mean others should have to witness it." Amy scowled.

Dawn gasped, "I do NOT like porn, I just think if that they are happy being 'vile' then let them be!"

Amy groaned,"Please, the way he grabbed her 'things' they nearly POPPED!"

"Just because you have fried eggs and Buffy is 36DD!" Dawn brought out the first insult, and I want to know HOW she knows Buffy's bra size? Does she try them on or something?

Probably.

Amy raised her eyebrow. "Is that even a size? And I do not have fried eggs. How dare you!"

At this point we had attracted some unwanted male attention, (unfortunately from the school pervert) so I decided to butt in.

"Um...Guys? I don't think its polite to discuss ones bra size in the middle of the lunch hall..."

"Shut it, meatballs!" Dawn cried, which was rather insulting because I don't like meatballs since I found a false nail in one at school.

Amy seemed to agree here. "Yeah stay out of it, meatballs!"

I wish I was never born.

And I'm afraid the rest of the conversation was rather graphic. Dawn and Amy came up with some rather abusive obscene language which got ALL of us detention which I attempted to protest against but was put off by Spike staring at my 'meatballs'.

Period 3 World History

You know what I really hate? History. You know what makes history even worse? When your sat next to a kid that smell like he hasn't bathed in years.

I am, offically, forming a complaint against all the boys in my class. Spike for asking me about periods, Xander for smelling worse than than school food, Giles for being SICK on me during break and I'm sure Angel, Riley, Oz and Andrew has done something, at some point in their lives, to make me hate them.

Lunch / Nurses Office

I have been forced to visit the nurse thanks to, yours faithfully, Dawn Summers. At first I thought she was the one that was sick but, apparently, she was just trying to prove Amy wrong. Amy said Dawn was a 'Teachers pet' that would never do anything rebellious so before the nurse arrived Dawn thumped so hard in the stomach that I was sick all over. The nurse was NOT happy.

So while I upheaved EVERYWHERE, Dawn blinked innocently and said;

"Ashley is sick, so I brought her here!"

Although it should have been Dawn who vomited because before long even she realized she wasn't allowed to hang around in the infirmary pretending to be interested in a photo of a cats diaphragm. Why, in the name of MJ, is it a CATS! So she sloped off and I was sat alone vomiting into a bucket when Buffy walked in. At first I thought her boobs had dropped off because she was crippled over but then she stood straight and there was an eclipse of light in the doorway. She smiled at me and sat down and winced as I threw my breakfast (of green tea because my mom is going through a hippie stage) into a quickly filling bucket.

Then Buffy sighed as if me being sick was a burden on HER part!

"You know it was pretty stupid to let my little sis hit you, just so you would vomit. I would have stuck my fingers down my throat or got pregnant."

I didn't even bother to reply and our conversation drew to and end.

I'm so going home.