Post Series. Auggie had left to travel the word with Natasha, and Annie had dove head first into work. This is how they got back to where they belong. Pure Walkerson. A huge thank you for Cony for editing it for me! :)
"I missed you, Helvetica". He said, hoping she would not notice the slight quiver in his voice.
A couple of hours later, they were sitting at Allen's, with a pitch of beer between them. Auggie was talking about the places he'd been since he left, almost two years ago, and Annie was doing her best to listen intently, trying to avoid thinking too much about what was going on. In reality, she could still feel his arms around her, his body heat surrounding her, the slightest pressure of his body against hers when he hugged her. It went on for longer than she was prepared for… Not in awkward way, but for a couple of seconds her mind went back to the past, and she was having trouble keeping herself in the present right now.
Still, she laughed at all the right times, and asked all the right questions. If Auggie didn't know any better, he'd think that there wasn't two whole years between them. But he could sense that all was not right between them. There was way too little touching for it to be perfectly normal between them. They were always a little too handsy with each other. Mostly out of necessity: he was blind, and touch and smell was how he made sense of the world now; and in addition to being blind, he was her handler, her trainer, her buddy, her best friend. He needed her to guide him when he was not using his cane, which meant a soft brush of her hand, and the smooth surface of her arm, the inside of her elbow. All of which he was still very in tune still today, after so many time. She, on the other hand, needed him to teach her hand-to-hand combat techniques when she first started, which most likely meant that he'd have her pined to the ground on a daily basis. It all ended up meaning they were very touchy-feely with each other.
So, the lack of touch was unnerving. Strange. And very, very telling. She was a master spy, she should be aware that the lack of physical contact would raise suspicions, but she was not strong enough to endure that. Just that hug had already made dents in her neatly constructed armor. She needed to distance herself, to think clear. Which was an impossible thing to do in the middle of a bar, drinking beer. The alcohol was already lowering her defenses, Auggie noticed, when he covered her hand with his and she didn't immediately tried to break free.
"Hey" He said. "Where are you? You seem miles away," he asked, although he was pretty sure he'd be graced with more evasive techniques. He had been her handler for a long time, he knew how her mind worked, how she played this game.
"Hum?" Annie hummed, suddenly trying to focus on his face. "I'm right here, Auggie." She tried to smile, a big smile that did not reach her eyes. "I was just trying to remember the last time I was in Belgium." She tried to cover. "I've spent so much time in the middle east lately that I almost forgot what Europe looks like. If I close my eyes, all I keep seeing is deserts and small villages. None of which have half the culture or class Europe does."
Auggie sighed, divided between calling her on her shit, or letting it slide. Apparently, there was still too much hurt between them, if she felt she couldn't be honest with him. Or maybe she had been covert for so much time she didn't know anymore how to be honest. But one thing he knew for sure from the brief contact: there was no ring on her finger. Hope, as small as a needle pin's head started to take form in his heart. He told himself not to think too much about it. It was Annie after all. If someone had the power to bring him to his knees, it was her. He wanted her. Sometimes he felt he always wanted her, since he first met her, and he had let her go too many times for one life.
The first time, he blamed it on Helen, even if he agreed with her, at least in the beginning. The second time, it was all on him. There was hope for like a nanosecond, when she left his apartment during Calder's witch-hunt, but then she was gone. What little hope they still had of being together was constantly put to the test with her away, working off book and in the dark, without his protection. And of course it went from bad to worse when she decided to take herself out of the chessboard. What smidgen of hope that was left for them was properly squashed when he slept with Helen, while Annie was chasing Henry in Switzerland. He tried to think that Annie left him no choice when she refused to establish a protocol after Calder "shot" her. But really, he should have more faith in her. It was his life too she was trying to save. But the whole Helen thing happened. And then she died. Again. And then Hong Kong happened, and Auggie thought for a brief moment that they were going to make it. He really thought that, after all they went through, even after Helen, that there was a chance for them. A real chance, now that Henry was dead. Damn it, he didn't want to go there, didn't want to remember that particular set of events, because even though Henry was dead, he still won, when those events ultimately led Annie to Eyal. And he's yet to forgive her for that.
So, as much as he wanted her, loved her, he knew he needed to forgive himself for a lot, before going down that road. All that without mentioning Natasha, and the last 18 months he spent trying to convince himself of something he knew was long gone. Instead of calling her on it, he just smiled, and pretended to believe she was thinking about the last time she went to Belgium. After all, two could play this game.
Annie bit the inside of her lip, and tried to remain calm. Act normal. It has been so long since they've been together that she didn't even know anymore what was normal for them. She didn't like this distance between them, but she didn't know how to get rid of it. They've been co-workers, and they've been friends, and they've been lovers, and then they were handler and operative again, but she couldn't pinpoint what they were right now. All she knew was that all those feelings she thought she had buried a long time ago where threatening to resurface, and she needed to get a hold of herself before she made a fool of herself. Again.
So she talked. She talked about her travels, about her work (at least the parts that were not above his clearance), and she talked about Danielle and the girls. She told very little about Ryan, not wanting to complicate things even more. She talked about the concerts she went to in Europe, she talked about how she finally learned how to cook, and she talked about the people she met.
"So, there I was, in the middle of the Yucatan desert, without ammo, without comms, without well, anything. And I ran into an old buddy of yours. You really do have friends everywhere" She told him.
She loved this story, and she wanted to tell him that for a long time, so even though she knew she was just buying some time, trying to ignore the giant elephant in the room, she told it the best she could. "I was positive I was done, there was no way my extraction team would know where I was, having ditched my earpiece well before I was made, when I ran into him."
She paused, and took a deep drink of her beer, before she continued. She was really smiling now. She was coming to the best part of the story, the one she practically rehearsed, wanting so bad to share it with him.
"Captain Oswell was not happy to see me there, but I recognized him from one of your old photos, and I told him I used to work with you at the Agency. It took me a while to convince him, but it looks like there's not a lot of people who listened to Mingus during raids. He got me out so quickly, Ryan never knew I was gone." She babbled, on and on. God she was nervous. Even more nervous than when she decided to come back from the cold.
"I can't believe you met Pete. I mean, if you were to be stranded in the middle of the Mexican desert, he's the guy you should run into." Auggie said, trying to keep up with the pretense they were creating. Inside he was seething: he really believed that if she ever needed help, she would not hesitate to track him down. He'd never failed to get her out of the jams she put herself into. But before he could even argue with himself, she continued:
"I mean, of course you were the first name on my list of people I should call when stranded in the middle of the desert, but I didn't have enough time to try and find any open lines of communication. I don't know if you know it, but phones are hard to come by in the middle of the desert. In the end, I didn't even need to call anyone. Because I literally ran into him. It was like running into a brick wall" She said. "I turned a corner, looked back for a second, and when I turned around, I bumped into a very hard chest, and felt the barrel of his gun on my stomach."
She went on, sensing he would not like this part of her story, and wanting to smooth things over. She stopped briefly to open her bag to search for something. "Anyway, he sent his regards, but we thought you would accept even better a bottle of Patrón as compensation. I mean, a genuine Mexican bottle of Patrón, that Pete gave me, with a promise that it would reach your hands."
"Only if you were to drink it with me, Ms Walker.I can't be responsible for a whole bottle" He said. "For old times sake?"
She placed the bottle on the table, between them, while she listened to Auggie's response. She bit her lower lip, a telltale sign that she was nervous, and thanked God he couldn't see her. She knew that tequila plus Auggie would not be a healthy combination, but she promised Pete. So she'd soldier up, and drink that whole bottle with him, consequences be damned.