Welcome back! I've been rolling steady recently. Not sure how long it will last, but I'm not questioning the spat of productivity. Working towards the end of Not Quite Normal, and preparing to pick Bitter Medicine back up. I also have a new story idea and some inspiration to work on one called Green-eyed Girl. It's best I focus on two stories tops at a time, otherwise I stall, but I won't hesitate to write down ideas when they pop up.
Thank you everyone for the positive reviews. It seems that this is something a lot of people want to see. Growth doesn't stop after marriage if anything the story beginning after I Do is just as important if not more so.
Last note before we head right in. This is a mature story with sexual themes that are not for everyone. Proceed with that in mind, heck it might be why you are here. This is a no judgement zone.
Chapter Two- Something New
There are sometimes that I wish my mind could record and play back at will. To be able to revisit the good moments, and there are far more of those then bad ones. Despite what I experienced during the war I'd do it all over again without changing a thing. Actions have consequences as I learned the hard way, but it was a lesson I needed. One that will come in handy now that the rest of my life is no longer just my own.
I found the idea of being queen terrifying, and it was a major factor on why I hesitated to come back. Years where I loved him only from a distance. Our connection remained, but it was like loving a ghost. We both felt the loneliness, but Van never pressured me to return. Truly being with him would be a lifetime commitment, not just to him, but also his people.
Most little girls dream of the fairytale ending where they shed a regular life for something far grander. I wasn't exactly normal in that regard. Growing up as an active child that ran faster than any of the boys in my neighborhood and refused to back down from a challenge. I never dreamt of being swept off my feet, but as life turns out was literally a few times.
When I did grow into the romantic notions, I was fifteen and had my first crush on the captain of the boy's track team. Someone I admired more from afar even back then his slight popularity and quiet kindness were almost too much for me.
Then my world spun out of control. One moment I am challenging myself to win a first kiss, and the next moment I go crashing right into him. The boy that landed right in my path was about as far as you could get from prince charming and yet in some ways he was. As in actually a prince, but far from charming.
Van Fanel was probably the only person on any world more stubborn than me. Tragic family history. Deep dark secret. Losing everything in a sudden and violent attack. Consumed by a world of blood, hate, and revenge. It was the real boy deep down that I fell in love with; he was almost shy, gentle, and compassionate. Not to mention reckless, single-minded, and in some ways exactly what was needed.
Years ago, on my first trip to Gaia I remember being surprised by how easily I'd settled into life, adapting to the new cultures, marveling at the beautiful world, and making friends with people I'd never have expected. The war was terrible, and more so because I saw the ugly senseless destruction firsthand, but it gave me something real to defend for the first time.
I loved Gaia and my friends here, more than I could ever put into words. Even with all the horrible things I saw. There was always something that resonated deep down. Then I fell in love, not just with the world I'd never known existed. Wild hair and quick to temper, but deep down he would always be the sweet boy that loved his family and people without question. Unexpectantly thoughtful, but very inexperienced with those who didn't fit into his expectations, like me.
It might have been one of the times we saved each other, or the rare moments where we connected on a deeper level, but I couldn't have anticipated how much I'd care for him. All the parts, even the ones that made me want to smack some sense into him. Still he kept his word and sent me home.
At first it was strange to be back like nothing happened, still there was something missing. The rolling green hills leading into a steep valley that surrounded Fanelia's capital city. Crisp spring air scented with rich earth and green shoots, but mostly him.
Van and I had retained our connection, but it was a hollow victory. I'd gotten so used to his presence that for the first time in my life I was lonely. Back home the visions weren't gone, though they weren't overwhelming like before. Really it was his calm understanding that flowed down our bond that kept me sane.
After four years I felt that I'd lived enough of the life expected of me and returned to Gaia and Van. I love my family and friends, but there was a whole world that still called to me. A path where I wasn't alone in my memories. It didn't take long for Van to propose, and with a light heart I agreed, wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of my life at his side. Even if that meant something larger than a standard marriage.
I might never really get used to any of this. Being queen, was a weight I hadn't wanted or expected. It was one of the reasons I stayed away for so long. Then I came to a realization that changed everything. Van hadn't chosen his life. It had been decided for him but that never stopped him from putting his very soul into it.
For his people. For Fanelia. Now and for the rest of our lives for me. I wasn't taking on responsibility without cause, and I wouldn't be doing it alone. He'd support me the same way I longed to be there for him. So, saying yes was easy. I could be Queen of Fanelia, because I already had the best guide at my side.
Getting ready was like living in a blur, one made from layers of silk and embroidered details I'd never be able to remember. The bouquet of wildflowers in my hands hid the slight tremor of nerves. Being watched and judged by the crowd frightened me more than the small doubt that I wasn't good enough.
I passed where Allen stood sentry behind Millearna and Dryden's little family. Our eyes locked and his held only joy for me. Our odd little half-romance long past I felt only brotherly affection for the knight, a different kind of love. Taking a deep breath: I passed friends and strangers, nobles and commoners alike. All that mattered was the finish line. Where Van stood waiting for me, his crown slightly skewed to one side.
He looked so handsome in the long-belted vest in Fanelian crimson and gold. Still I liked normal casual Van best. Strong arms bare, loose tunic hinting only at the leanly muscled form. Even with wearing the look of being struck dumb by a hard blow to the head he was better than any fake fairytale prince.
I'd never fully seen his hands without gloves on before the exchanging of rings. The expectation was that he'd have callouses there from years of training, but that was putting it lightly. I could see the sacrifice and pain written on the flesh marred with old memories of working till the skin split, knuckles marked with countless failed blocks. Tenderly I rubbed the pad of my thumb in small circles before sliding the engraved ring on his finger where it belonged.
The hand now adorned with the golden dragon cupped my cheek almost reverently. Then his lips connected with mine and the spark between us burned brightly. A promise of what was still to come.
We were married and he never had to hide from me again. My heart welled with love for him. Instead of walking back past the watching crowd Van grabbed my hand and lead me out of the temple at a jog. An open joyful smile lighting up his handsome face. I followed matching his pace, even with my long skirts, until we reached the stairs. Tugging on his hand slightly I motioned to the problem.
I loved the way his smile lifted more on one side, a mischievous note that made my heart rate speed up. Even more so when he bent down scooping me up into his arms as though I weighed nothing. Taking the steps quickly I hadn't even noticed the passing, because the feel of being pressed protectively against his solid chest, the way the touch of his hands burned even through the bunched skirts. Before I knew it my feet touched down on the flat rooftop. A place Van felt most comfortable, where he'd come to practice alone or think through difficult issues. Now he shared it with me, and we looked over Fanelia, King and Queen, servants of the people, together.
This time I moved to kiss his full lips, the spark from earlier catching into a flame. One hand remained at his neck while the other traveled up threading into his thick hair, parting my lips and inviting him in to share my passion. Eventually we had to separate, breath already coming faster.
"I stopped believing in stories with happy endings a very long time ago." Van's voice was low with a delicious husky tone that made me want to forget about the party and keep this just the two of us. "Until I met you and everything changed."
"That's not true." I looked into his warm eyes wanting to express how much I loved him. "This isn't a happy ending, since it's just the beginning."
We did make it back down to our guests. Even if my mind remained on the roof with stolen moments and passionate kisses. I'm sure it was a fantastic party, but I couldn't wait for it to end. At one-point Van had been commandeered by an ambassador or something who was old enough to have been a guest at the last wedding held here in Fanelia.
Deciding that I'd shared him enough for one evening I didn't walk towards Van, but away. I caught Allen and knew before asking that he'd be willing to help.
"The only way this night ever ends is if we escape separately." His sharp blue eyes darted towards Van who still hadn't extricated himself from the same man. "Could you get him towards the door for me?"
"It would be my honor." Allen chuckled, offering me his elbow as an escort. We walked the edges of the gathering together, making a loop that brought me to the door without arising suspicion. "Go on," He urged with a knowing smile.
I slipped out and found the halls felt like a different world. Moving a little way down I chose a small vacant parlor to wait, but it didn't take long. Van wandered past me almost distractedly. Before he could get too far, I reached out pulling him into the darkness with me. There was a moment where the fight instinct flared to life if only briefly.
My kiss was returned with equal if not greater passion. Hands moving up to his hair like before, but this time I felt the ghost of his touch move from my back to sides, then lower, lost in the sensations. The way our quickened breaths mingled together made me lightheaded. Becoming increasingly drunk off each other. One of Van's hands cupped my rear pulling my body flush against his, need evident through layers of fabric.
It took considerable will power to break the connection of our fevered kisses if only to speak three simple words into the heated air between us. "I love you." A whole world of memories and emotions filled that one little phrase.
I'd loved him before I knew what it really was. When we were still forming into the people life needed us to become. This connection was more than attraction, it was a soul deep connection. One that glowed with warmth and limitless potential. There were times where it never seemed like we'd get here, but the tough times were all worth it because it brought us together.
With remarkable restraint we made it back to the room. I could still feel the wandering of his hands even before the door fully shut. Each touch burning hot, scorching until the fabric itself seemed to catch. First went the belt and then vest, followed by our crowns. The difficulty was with my clothing not Van's, his came off easily enough, but mine was knotted tighter by our frantic movements.
With deft fingers the ties fastening the elaborate dress came free one by one, the way he knelt before me, attention focused. Looking at his handsome profile was almost too much, then the layers of silk came free with a small tug. Then he was slipping the dress off my shoulders and I his shirt. Studying the expanse of exposed tanned skin with the tips of my fingers as though touch alone could teach me all his secrets.
With a ragged breath Van pulled me close again, his lips starting just below my ear and traveling down kiss by kiss, tracing the curve of my neck and causing sensations to pool much lower. His name slipping from my lips like a whispered promise. One that led us blindly towards the bed lost in each other, completely and totally.
The world spun briefly as we fell onto the mattress, Van turning us just so that I landed on top of him. Yet even with the sudden position change we hadn't broken apart. Kissing was like breathing, we couldn't survive without continuing.
From my vantage point above him I was aware that my control of the situation was solely because Van was enjoying it this way. Once things progressed much farther, he'd take the lead, but for now I wanted to make the most of the situation. Shifting to straddle him, wearing only the thin under dress that seemed like a combination of bra and slip, but that was all. I kneeled in positioned over this strong sexy man and he wore more clothing then I, and only I knew it.
Maybe he'd guessed after all, because with a deep throaty moan Van's muscles tensed and rippled moments before flipping us over. My back pressed into the soft padding, he broke the kiss and I marveled at the way his smooth hard chest could still hold me gently with all the strength he contained. Watching those mahogany eyes almost molten with heat, framed by wild raven hair. By the feel of bunched fabric, the top no longer contained my breasts and the skirts hiked up, I might as well be naked. Being desired so openly was a powerful feeling.
More than anything I wanted to see and touch him too. My hands traced a path downward to the pants that have overstayed their welcome. Unfastening the last article of clothing keeping us apart quickly, and with more confidence then I felt. He moved with my efforts making the task easier within my limited reach from below him.
Then he was bare, completely unashamed and with good reason. I'd seen Van without a shirt more times then needed counting, but this was the first time I saw him fully. Having nothing to compare to was both good and bad. I never wanted anyone like this other than the man braced above me, but I also feared that he might not fit.
I wanted this, needed him more than I ever desired anything in my whole life. Even lacking actual experience I knew this would hurt, and the last thing Van would want was to cause me pain, but there wasn't another way around it. Biting my lip, I tried to focus on all the wonderful feelings, and prayed they would overshadow the pain that was surely coming.
Above me Van shifted one hand tenderly cupping my cheek, dragging my gaze away from his length and back to his deeply expressive eyes. "I know," The two simple words said a novel worth.
He loved me, and I him. This was right and the bad part would be a temporary cost that would need to be paid for a lifetime of wonderful. If there was a way to skip the next bit he would, but just knowing the depth of his compassion eased the nervous tension that had taken over. I nodded, and he kissed me again. This time softer, still full of passion, but speaking of love and not lust.
The hand not bracing his body above mine moved from my face working downward touching and teasing along the way. Fingers calloused from years of training circled my nipples until the sensitive flesh hardened with excitement. The way he learned by the sound of my breathy moans showed by the attention, even more so when those deft fingers found my core. I nearly arched right off the bed with a gasp. Intense feelings like little electric shocks, then he was pushing into me.
Pain unlike anything I'd ever felt before ripped through the excitement. Van held still in position but kissed me with a tenderness that could never be expressed properly with words. His fingers started moving again in the narrow space between us. Expertly finding that little sensitive spot that made my heartrate increase. I attempted to move needing more, wanting all of him.
With an exercise in control Van took lead again, we were both inexperienced, but he was like a dancer that learned the steps quickly. There wasn't as much pain overshadowed now by a building pressure, one cresting like a wave. If this feeling was the ocean it would be the moments before a tsunami crashed on shore. Spots dancing in my vision and toes curling in response to the intense sensations I felt Van stiffen as we both came together.
Breath fast and skin damp with sweat Van rolled to one side, pulling me to rest on his chest easily. He kissed my hair and sweetly apologized. Though he had nothing to be sorry for, a peaceful contentment filling me. This is where I belonged, loved and protected in his strong embrace. Sleep came quickly as I listened to the steady thrumming of his heart beating a cadence in unison with my own.
I fell not into darkness but memories. Ones full of tender moments and confused emotions. Our past together, though some seemed not to have happened yet, none showed anything other that love. Strong, but sometimes unsure. Waking I had one memory particularly clear remain in the front of my mind.
It was right after I'd returned to Gaia, Fanelia, and Van. A year has passed between then and now, but it was clear as if it had just happened. Van had been overjoyed at our reunion and didn't waste anytime showing me the rebuilt city. It was so much to take in, but with our hands clasped together he grounded me. Once back at the castle orders were given to settle me into my own room, still what made my head spin the fastest was a stack of new dresses already prepared.
I hadn't decided on if I should start wearing the new Gaian approved wardrobe right away or if holding onto my foreign more comfortable clothing choices would have any negative effect this time around. On one hand I chose this life and dressing the part was to be expected. On the other side I'd just given up my whole world, what would a few odd outfits matter?
Deciding to sleep on the question I went to bed that night with all my normal clothes still packed in bags. When I woke the next morning, it was to find my belongings sorted except for my clothes. Fanelian dresses were hung up, but all the earth pieces were gone.
Angry and hurt that Van had made this decision without talking to me I stormed from my room. Surely none of the servants would take incentive without instructions. It felt like being violated to have my thanks taken, let alone while I was sleeping.
It took me a few unnecessary turns to find his room as everything was still so new, but in the end, I made it there just fine. Bursting through the door I almost lost steam to find the room empty.
"Van?" I called to the vacant space, expecting nothing in return.
Instead a response answered, muffled by a closed door. "Hitomi?" The question in the way he said my name reminding me of my missing clothes and how angry that made me. "Is something wrong?"
Even though he asked the man stayed stubbornly in the other room, so I found myself storming forward. The door opened easily under my hand, and I strode in ready to confront him. What I wasn't expecting was to find this to be a bathing room. In a second, I took in all the details, not of the room, because that wasn't important, but him.
Water fell in fat drops from his wet hair, though still unruly hung heavy as it did the time he'd waded into the Asturian canals to save me. This was not the boy he'd been, but a man, built with broad shoulders and well-defined chest. He soaked in the water, steam visible, even as below the surface was obscured by ripples from sudden movement.
Van had turned at my unexpected entrance, his back now facing the open door. "Sorry," I murmured preparing to leave embarrassed. It was then I noticed the stiff way he held his right shoulder. "Is everything alright?"
"Fine," He muttered, but that didn't hide the bright flush creeping up his tanned neck. "Pulled something in practice."
I should have left him alone, but why I burst in was no longer important. Wanting to help drew me towards the enormous tub. Van tensed farther, if only to wince at the way the movement upset the injury.
"Can I," The two words came out tentative, but I already knew what to do. I sat on the rim of the tub closest to him, trying not to trail my skirts into the steaming water. "Is it a strain or sprain?"
At my question Van peered back at me over his uninjured shoulder. "Strain, I think." He still seemed unsettled by my presence while he sat there trapped by his nudity. This was no longer about how I felt about him, or his very attractive physique, but about how I could help. I knew a thing or two about sports related injuries.
Quickly running through the differences between the two types of injuries, noticing the stiffness as I gently moved is shoulder in a slow rotation. Asking if the pain was sharp or dull. Was there a pop or did it feel more like a pulling sensation? Checking for swelling and if the muscle spasmed at all. Even asking what exercises he'd been doing when the pain first happened. Focusing on the injury and not the feel of his warm flesh, especially since there was so much of it.
After the examination I'd figured it was probably a grade two deltoid strain caused by overextension, a mid level injury, more likely that Van was downplaying the pain. With that in mind I lectured him about treating the stiffness with heat and not icing the area to reduce swelling first. He was quite familiar with small injuries like this that the immediate treatment was skipped over in place of comfort.
Even being scolded the athletic man seemed to relax into my touch, almost as if he just enjoyed being taken care of. Sure, he'd always have Merle and servants to take care of him, but this was something new, being on equal ground with someone. I liked it too.
Gently I massaged the tense muscle with practiced fingers. I was more used to this kind of injury in my hamstring or calf from incomplete stretching before a run.
After a few more minutes of companionable silence Van cleared his throat. "Did you need something Hitomi?"
I'd almost forgotten that I had rushed in on him naked because I was angry about something. It all seemed so silly now, though I was still a little upset at the invasion of privacy, but it seemed that I was also guilty of overstepping too. We spent far more time apart than together, so it was expected that we'd have to learn how to do this from scratch.
"Oh," My hands continued their action and I tried not to notice the rest of him there just below the surface of the water. "All my clothes from earth were gone this morning. I was mad you'd had someone take them while I was sleeping."
Van pulled just out of reach, as if he couldn't quite think clearly if I kept touching him. The wet hair moved with a clear shake of his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He turned towards me enough so that I could see the honesty in his eyes. "No one would take your things, and I certainly didn't order anything like it."
Feeling foolish I started to pull away, wanting to go back to my room and hide forever. Wet fingertips touched my wrist gently. Keeping me from running away. I could feel the roughness of callouses built from years of training, but before I could really get past the shock of him without gloves, his hand had dropped back below the water's surface.
"Wait in my room and I'll come with you to figure out what happened." His voice was understanding, and I felt a little unsteady.
"Sure," I agreed, smoothing out my skirt I noticed the hem on one side was damp and found I didn't mind. Once the bathroom door was shut behind me, I didn't know if I should be mortified or impressed. Bursting in on him like that, over something that seemed so trivial now. Of course, Van would never order my personal things away. Of all people here I probably should have rushed to a different conclusion. One with large cat ears and a history of going through my belongings.
I didn't have long to wait until Van strode out fully dressed in his normal style outfit; lose tunic shirt and tan pants. His hair was still damp, but I thought it had more to do with the naturally wild thickness than lack of care.
My cheeks heated thinking about how rude and reckless I'd been, but before I could apologize, he waved it off. Rolling his injured shoulder slowly. "It feels much better."
"You really should ice it." I lectured quickly though relieved by his easy understanding. The unsaid part was that the less we talked about nudity the better. We weren't children anymore, but neither of us had much actual experience, and even less time to truly get used to each other.
As it turns out I'd looked everywhere in my room, but a simple wooden chest normally used to hold extra blankets. Everything was there, neatly folded. I felt silly, but Van apologized saying that no one should have moved my possessions while I slept. Somehow, I thought the maid had been on orders from another source. One only second to the king before me, at least for the time being.
Waking into the present I found the arms holding me even in sleep the most comforting place to be. Surrounded by the warmth and scent of spring, of Van. My chest felt tight as if there wasn't enough room inside to hold all my happiness. The love I felt for this man pressing on the constrictions of my body, one that was sore but not unpleasantly so.
"Morning," I smiled up at Van, pressing my hand against the taunt muscles of his bare stomach.
The skin tensed rippling just below my touch. "How are you feeling?" He asked voice low with a note of concern. Van may have been worried about me, but I could already tell he was awake in more than one way.
Deciding action was better than words I didn't waste any time pushing him onto his back with a hand on the strong shoulder that had healed only days after the incident. I wanted to explore him fully until all his secrets belonged to me. This wasn't a battle of wills, there would be plenty of those later, but for now it was enough to just be here with him.
"Let me show you." I spoke the words the moment I rolled on top, bracing on my knees so that I could gaze down at him. A beautiful look of love and anticipation clear on his handsome face. His hands coming up to brace on my hips in approval. It would only take a breath until we were both exactly where we wanted to be.
I may not have dreamt of crowns and kingdoms as a child, but the responsibility is a very small price for the happiness that Van and I have found together.
This is not the end of our story, just the beginning.
To Be Continued…
Well we see things from Hitomi's side here. I've become increasingly attached to perspective swapping chapters. It allows me to explore the same interactions with more personal details. All the chapters will not be exact retellings of what happened, there should only be overlapping at times that are incredibly important to both main characters. There should also be more interaction with other people soon. Van and Hitomi can't hide away in the bedroom forever, even though they want that right now.
There is a plot here aside from seeing how many times they can have sex in a chapter. There will be more of that as they are just starting the honeymoon phase, but that will unfortunately pass. Please stay tuned. I can't wait to hear what you think.