So I've decided to make this into a short series of one-shots….just a little outlet for my writer's block. Ok, ok so I'm just procrastinating. But hey, in this world, it's ok to procrastinate. Like I'm doing right now. I give credit to the wonderful members of who gave me insightful comments about this song and what they think is its real meaning. And thanks to Paramore and Enchanted for a couple borrowed lines :)

oh and if you would want the music, just email me or PM :D

Disclaim, disclaim, disclaim…

September, the leaves were falling red and gold
And I remember the way you pulled me closer
Nothing else existed in the world we lived in
Hidden, we didn't see the storm was coming closer

Bella

September. The best month of my life because it was the first and last month I shared with you. My life was yours and yours, mine. People looked at us as if we could not exist. But we did, didn't we? Had it been only a month? I felt like I'd known you forever, stranger. It has only been so long since I did fall in love with you. An empty hole. That is what I am now. Just a hole where I can live and drift along in the world unsuspectingly so that I won't hurt any longer.

Dying would be better than living this shameful existence. Day after day, Bella conceded into doing the same thing, falling into routine with everybody else but something was missing in her life. Yes, something was missing the day that Charlie announced Dr. Carlisle's imminent disappearance for a job better paid for.

And now, with Bella's homework finished and stacked on her desk for the next day, she had nothing to do but wait until night fell in Forks and she crawled into the hole in her chest that constantly and incessantly burned. Tears would fall but they would not douse the flames licking at her blackened heart. Screams would rip and tear her throat but they would not drown out the voice that Bella tried so hard to bury.

"I love you Bella. The stars could not take me away from you even if they tried because my heart will always be with you. My soul will always be with you."

She screamed louder.

Edward

What I wouldn't give to have you lying in my arms again, Bella. The way you touched me made me feel like no one else would ever be able to experience such a kiss like yours. In this world of vampires and mythical creatures, only you and I existed in our love for each other. I was ignorant and oblivious of my imposition of danger on you until that moment that you sliced your finger on that fated night. You sliced a hole in my chest, Bella. But being the meticulous Cullen that I am—or was—I could not jeopardize you or my family any longer. I had to sacrifice my love for you to be safe, from me. I am the storm, the raging storm.

Hunting did nothing for Edward anymore. Even the grizzliest of any bear could not attempt to hurt him as much as he was hurting now. Being away from Bella only darkened each passing day even more. There were no colors in the world and certainly no face that would ever come close to the angelic beautification of Bella. Edward felt as if she truly was made for him to match, to become his soul mate.

His family, however supportive and loving they were, could not begin to understand how to help Edward. Emmett continued to take him hunting in the vast forests of New Hampshire, but wild animals was not a game to him anymore; Esme continued to tenderly care for him and be as much of a mother as Elizabeth Masen was, but no amount of love would compensate for the missing love in Edward's life; Jasper continued to send waves of calming and soothing emotions to his brother, but they would soon disappear as soon as he drifted out of the room; Alice continued to watch Bella and reassured him that she was safe, but it didn't mean that she wasn't hurting.

Only Carlisle seemed to truly understand Edward's situation. He was ever the loving father and strong leader for Edward when he felt like he was breaking down.

"The time will come when your wounds will heal. It heals all wounds, son. This is for the best. Remember that."

Carlisle spoke to Edward through his mind but Edward could only look at him with an expression so forlorn, he could just die of sadness.

That was then
But the time has come and gone
Nothing left but a broken story
We can't change, can't erase
Nothing that we can say now
Can't get back what we gave up
That was then, this is now
It's been too long

Bella

But as black and evil as the night, our true beings forced us apart and that is why you left, isn't it? You know that I am going crazy without you, right? You aren't coming back to me anymore, aren't you? You knew that a lion could not fall in love with a lamb but I was stubborn to force two polarized magnets together. So it's my fault, again? Because I am human? It is my fault?

I should never have loved you.

All that ever filled Bella's mind were questions. Questions that reaped no answer for her to comprehend because she was too busy fighting the pain that continually racked her body at every blink, at every breath.

"Bells, tell me what is going on. I've never seen you act this way! You aren't acting like anything at all! If you don't tell me why you're so, so empty after all these months, so help me, I am sending you right home to Renee!"

Bella looked up from eating her cereal and stared at Charlie knowing that everything he said was true despite the pain it caused her. She was so blinded by her own aching chest that she failed to see that she was affecting others.

But if there was anything she would do to keep herself as close to the memory of her lost love, then she would stay here in Forks, where the magic of their love had happened—and disappeared.

"Dad, I'm not going back to Phoenix."

"That's for me to decide, young lady."

She couldn't have this conversation with her father any longer. She would burst into tears before he said anything else that would just aggravate the seared hole in her chest, and she knew how Charlie was about tears. So she quickly stood up from the table and threw her bowl and spoon into the sink with a clash.

Charlie said something about her lack of maturity but Bella could care less. Stumbling up to her room with eyes blinded with tears was enough of a task for Bella as keeping her body intact. As soon as her bedroom door was closed shut she let it explode.

Edward

But I was selfish and foolish not to kill you when I had the chance. At least death would be better than having to die every day that I am not with you. You don't know how long I'd waited for you, only to have you slip away from me. I am so sorry to be a vampire. There is nothing in the world I can do for you except make sure that you stay alive for me. Yes, I am a selfish bastard.

We both knew that we couldn't last, didn't we? Ah, Bella, you should never have fallen in love with a monster.

"Bro, if this human is making you look so...dopey, then why don't you just go back and either kill her or make up already? Eddie, I'm tired of seeing you mope around like this, man. Talk to me."

Leave it to Emmett to have such a straight forward way of thinking, almost childlike. But if there was one brother who cared for Edward a lot, it would be Emmett. Edward hating seeing his family getting hurt like this but he was too intent on ruining his life to make anyone feel better for him. How long has it been since Edward first began to wallow in self-hate? It's only been too long but Emmett's words do not—cannot—apply.

Twilight—the darkest part of the day—began to set in the forests of New Hampshire and the overgrown trees covered with moss towered over Edward and provided a small sanctuary, if not a prison. The large branches and leaves overhead blocked the clouds, the setting sun, and the invisible gates that promised salvation for those who had a soul. Edward believed he had no soul now, he'd left it with her and if he came back to retrieve it, how would he know if Bella would take him back after all that he had done to the poor girl?

The forest mocked him in silence as the woodland creatures scurried into their safe homes. Edward slumped onto a tree trunk that had fallen some years ago and now provided him a place to sit and cry. Could vampires cry? Edward saw Esme cry plenty of times because of various reasons that only a mother would ever give a shit for. Edward heaved his chest and let guttural sounds of lament escape his throat as he attempted to cry. Nothing. It was probably for the best; why would he, a monster in all possible ways, be granted a way to channel out his grief?

"I am a monster!" Edward cried out into the dark forest but not even an echo greeted him, just the startled flurry of birds that flapped their wings out of fright.

In the night of the forest, no one could hear him scream.

December, when we were
Drifting like the falling snow
Around us but then a winter's chill blew through your heart
Mistakes we made didn't know what they'd change
The silence, was so hard
But I am stronger for it

Bella

You know he left you Bella, it is over. With each passing day he fades more and more from my weakening heart. Of the pain in my heart, not even his lingering face grants me bequest—amnesty, even. Isn't time I moved on? Why am I holding on to such a memory? My God, did he even exist? Was it all just a ruthless dream set to ruin my entire being with a flash of a crooked smile?

My heart is so cold now. I face the faceless days with no more warmth left in me. OK, so it was a mistake to love him so much because look at yourself, Bella! You aren't you anymore. You are so destroyed. And now that everything, everybody is quiet for you, no longer pestering you to feel better, can you? No one is bothering me anymore, so it must be time to get a hold of myself. At least get through the day without having to clutch my chest as my rabid heart throbs endlessly. I'm stronger for it. My heart. My love.

Bella woke up from the same nightmare that haunted her sleep every single night. A sheen coat of sweat dampened her hair and face but it was enough. She had had enough of the pain. She curled into a fetal position in her bed and let the last of the very last jolts of pain rack her body until they slowly passed.

She finally opened her eyes and for the first time in months, she saw the morning sun—however covered by the winter clouds—and reveled in its beauty. She stared at the sun until its rays began to seep through her window and deftly caress her fingers, arms, neck, and face. She stood up from her bed.

It was a brand new day, but it was so cold.

Edward

Only in this circumstance is it the most perfect moment to be a vampire. The only use for my existence is to torture and suffer some more. Masochistic, yes, but it's the only way of making myself feel better about everything. I need to make myself remember why on earth you are so important to me, my Bella. I have to remind myself that the reason why I love you is not because your scent is so potent to me but because in more ways than one, you saved me from a worthless existence and you helped me see beauty in life because you are my life.

Will I ever learn to let go and let you be happy? I take it back when I said that I was strong enough for you. I never was.

"At least Bella is doing something more productive than you." Having to actually hear her name being said was physically painful for Edward. He groaned and looked at his favorite sister in disdain. He hated it when she was looking out for Bella but still hung on to every word like it was as essential as breathing.

"Alice, I don't ask you to tell me what Bella is doing. You are so annoying." Edward's voice came out croaky and lost its velvety quality.

"But you know you want me to." Alice skipped to Edward's side and kissed him lightly on the forehead. I'm watching out for her, Edward. She is safe and doing much better. Alice thought to him and Edward hugged his little sister as ragged breaths scathed his already burning throat. He needed to hunt.

September, the leaves are
Falling gold again
I remember the way we were

Bella

Yes, I'm making some progress, aren't I? I haven't felt my heart hurt me so much in a while. Jake has been good to me but I feel so evil when I think about him. How can he like a girl like me who only likes him back in hopes of erasing memories? Oh god, I can't erase my memories. He is stuck in my mind. I can't forget how happy I was with him! Why am I torturing myself like this? I can't deny myself to him any longer.

Oh, the pain. The pain! Can't I remember his golden eyes without having my heart hurting? I love him. I love him. This heart, my heart, it beats for only you.

"Bella? Did you hear what I said?" Jacob's husky voice broke Bella's reverie and she looked back at him with sad eyes.

"I asked if you want to go out and watch some gory movie tonight. You know, like before."

She couldn't put this charade up any longer and they both knew who would be hurt in the long run after all this is over. Like being lifted out of the water, lungs burning for oxygen, Bella looked at Jacob with confluence set in her chocolate brown eyes. In a single moment, Jacob understood everything.

"You still love the bloodsucker." It wasn't a question but Jacob nodded to himself, looking down.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I really am." Bella gently stroked his cheek and nearly pulled back because of the intense heat of his skin. "But hey, I love you too, you know." Bella smiled too brightly in efforts to cheer her best friend up.

Jacob looked up and the smile faded from Bella's lips as she took in the sight of Jacob's torn face. For once, he looked older than she did.

"Not the way you know I love you." He whispered, afraid to hear his own voice break.

Bella said nothing, knowing that there are no words to mend a broken heart. She knew.

Edward

This wild beast can tear at me all he wants but being the monster that I am, I will kill him. Oh, his blood is so warm but it does nothing for me except that it changes the color of my eyes. I can't take this any longer! I know I'm an exceptional liar but this is insane. I cannot continue lying to myself! I cannot survive without her. Would she learn to accept me? We are made for each other. This whole time I am apart from her, it just makes everything harder for the both of us. We cannot sacrifice all the good times for the bad. A vampire cannot love a human girl but I have to make it work for us. It's two and two together. I need to believe this. This is the truth. I love her. My heart belongs to her. And everything else.

Edward dropped the animal whose blood he was draining and straightened up his body. He looked up, past the leaves, past the branches, and truly saw the sun gleaming down on his body causing millions of diamonds to ripple off his body.

An epiphany could never be as strong as the one that Edward realized at this moment. He looked at his body, examining his hands and fingers, touching his chest and legs and face. He had to make sure that he was real. That this was real; this elated feeling like drinking hot human blood after weeks of parched thirst. No, it was stronger than that; it was a force so strong that it gave him the strength to run. For the first time in months, maybe years, Edward ran as fast as he could—with warmth in his heart.

It's been too long

Bella

This is it, Edward. I'm going to wait for you until you come back to me, whenever that time may be. I'm going to save myself for you alone and each beat of my heart will remind me of why you mean so much to me. It's been long enough, and I've already gone crazy for you. It's been enough to assure me of my love for you. You left me and I know that I have no chance of ever getting you back, but I'm here. I trust you. I'm crazy to talk to myself like this, but I have reason to believe that you will come back for me. My love is reason enough for me. You might not love me back the way I do but god, I really do love you. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't matter though because I'll be here for you, my Edward. My love.

Sitting on her bed, Bella smiled to herself knowing that there was resolve in her heart however absurd it might have sounded to a normal human. Bella scoffed. Yeah, a normal human.

She lied down and pulled the sheets up to her chin. She wondered if she was done with her 'crazy' stage and if people would stop looking at her like she was a ticking bomb after this moment. Despite the fact that her heart and mind was set on Edward, she couldn't help feel guilty for playing on Jacob's emotions like that. She loved him like family but she led him on to believe that there was more to their friendship. But like so many other things, it can't be erased or changed anymore. It is only to be wished that they can.

Edward

I'm running. I'm running for you, my Bella. I've never ran so fast before but I am, and I'm doing it for you. God, Bella I love you so much. I was a jackass to leave you in the first place. I've had enough of not being close to you. I want to be close to you every single minute of everyday. I am not going to leave you out of my sight ever again. I pray you take me back after all that I've put you through. My pain could not have been as terrible as yours. But I'm coming for you, Bella. I'm going to make it all right.

Objects whizzed by Edward so quickly but he had only one place he had his mind set to. He was invisible to the humans around him; he was moving so fast. He didn't even tell his family that he was returning to Forks because he knew that Alice would see it anyway. They knew better than to stop Edward from what he was doing because if they understood one thing about Edward, it would be that his love for Isabella Swan was more powerful than any love in any century and it was stronger than life itself.

Edward smiled to himself as warm images of Bella spurred in his mind as he ran to her. He was getting closer; he could hear her heart beating for him; he could smell her fragrant scent of strawberries and lavender—and blood. But because he was away from her so long, his body no longer reacted to it the way a monster would. He valued it too much. And so thoughts of killing her for her blood never arose in Edward's mind as her scent was drawing closer, burning his throat but never really propelling him to drink her blood.

At last, after what seemed like years, he rumbled to a stop and a wave of calmness and serenity washed over him as he looked intently at the dark house that stood before him. He locked his eyes on a particular window that provided him a gateway to heaven itself.

He leaped.

i am so excited about this chapter, really i am! oh how i wish that Bella and Edward were real...please, please, leave a review for me :)