A Moment In Time: July 1996
Disclaimer: I own nothing except some elements of the plot, the characters belong to JK, and if you didn't know that already…well then there isn't much hope for you. No point suing I'm just a poor impoverished student. Oh and I definitely don't own the quote at the end, that belongs to Steinbeck or 'The Secret Seven' they belong to Enid Blyton.
Summary: Dudley talks to Harry about 5th year, muses just how much his cousin has changed and mourns the state of their disintegrating relationship. Summer between OOTP and HBP.
Always wanted to see Harry and Dudley talk about things, so here's my take on it.
It was just another Saturday night for Dudley Dursley, sneaking back into the house at three am after a night of general mischief and vandalism, doing the kind of things his Mother would kill him for, should she ever find out. The last thing he expected to find was anyone up at this time in the morning so it came as somewhat of a shock to see his mysterious and perpetually brooding cousin sitting on the sofa in the living room, in the dark. The guy barely even left his room normally! What the hell was he up to?
"Potter what are you doing lurking in the dark?" Questioned Dudley suspiciously.
"Thinking." He murmured dismissively, before seeming to come to his senses to cop some of his usual arrogant, 'holier than thou' attitude, "Sneaking in at dawn Dud? Tsk, tsk, what would your parents say?" He mocked him sardonically, an amused smirk crossing his irritatingly handsome features, green eyes lit up with a somewhat malicious sparkle at the thought of having something incriminating on his cousin.
"Well two can play at that game!" Fumed Dudley angrily.
"Somehow I think they'd be more interested in what the hell you're doing up!" He snapped back in frustration.
"Touché." Conceded Potter somewhat belligerently, raising an eyebrow sardonically.
"Oh sod off!" sniped Dudley, "So not screaming for your boyfriend this year then Potter?"
Visibly restraining his anger, a feat Dudley would have deemed impossible last summer, Potter replied with forced calm, "No I guess I'm not Diddykins."
Amazing how he could make that last word positively drip with venom.
"So that's how it's gonna be then...fine." Mused Dudley, physically tamping down on his rising disappointment that he and Potter were never going to get on.
"You still scream at night though." He retorted viciously. Potter looked visibly shaken at this revelation…so apparently he hadn't known.
"Shit." Thought Dudley in frustration, "Now I've bloody gone and done it he's never gonna tell me anything."
"I can hear you through the wall. Mum and Dad can't though." He offered in explanation, as a form of peace offering, quick to console his obviously terrified cousin, "It's just 'cos we share a wall..." He trailed off; uncertain what to say next, desperately wishing for his cousin to snap out of his own mind and shout at him, do anything other than stare dazedly at the wall. What the fuck was wrong with this guy?
"Sorry." Harry blinked, sinking further back into the dusky pink sofa as though he wanted the cushions to swallow him up and put him out of his misery.
"What the hell is going on?" wondered Dudley; he'd never seen his cousin like this before, not even when that bloke Cedric died, this was…disturbing.
Potter wasn't gonna do anything stupid was he? He wished he could say with all confidence that he wasn't, but he couldn't, everything he'd seen of his cousin this summer seemed to indicate otherwise. Something was eating him alive and it was only getting worse as the days passed. Where the hell were his friends? Why weren't they here? Surely they knew what was going on? Surely they should be doing something? Weren't they supposed to care about his freaky little cousin?
Realising that this conversation wasn't gonna be over any time soon Dudley settled in for the long haul, moving to sit tentatively on the other end of the sofa. He didn't want to scare Potter, who frankly looked likely to bolt at any second. He wanted answers!
"Why?" Asked Dudley.
"Why what?" responded Harry evasively. It was obvious from his nervous hair ruffling that he knew exactly what Dudley was talking about but he clearly wasn't about to make things easy for his suddenly curious cousin.
Gritting his teeth to keep from screaming in frustration Dudley tried again, "Why scream?" He prodded, staring beseechingly over at his raven-haired cousin, maintaining and keeping eye contact in an attempt to stare him down.
"Bad memories." Stated Potter redundantly, swiftly breaking his cousin's penetrating stare in such a way that made it obvious that he didn't want to talk about this with anyone, least of all Dudley.
"Well tough bloody luck!" Raged Dudley internally, desperately trying to keep his facial expression placid and non-threatening so as not to scare his clearly skittish cousin off. "Fuck! This is like pulling teeth! Why the Hell does Potter always have to be so bloody difficult?" He mused furiously.
"Of what?" He persisted in a would be calm tone of voice, though he was sure that some of the strain was bleeding into it.
"Doesn't matter." He proclaimed in a monotone, the same one he had been using since the start of this questioning session. God was it ever annoying, even shouting would be preferable to this!
"He doesn't actually believe that, does he?" Wondered Dudley, with somewhat morbid curiosity. He wasn't about to admit it, but he really was worried by his cousin's ambivalent attitude, and lack of reaction to any of Dudley's prodding.
Insults were normal, they'd been shouting and insulting each other for years, it was almost expected, but this…where the hell had his firecracker of a cousin gone? The one who couldn't stay out of trouble to save his life? Who'd played pranks on teachers with him at school and always hit back even when he new he was gonna get his arse kicked?
"Yeah right…" Countered Dudley in abject disbelief, before trying a different tract; bribery, with a bit of relaxation factor thrown in. He didn't really expect Potter to accept, but it was worth a shot. "Wanna fag?" He offered hesitantly, pulling a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from his jeans pocket.
"Sure." Replied Potter tonelessly, reaching out one long fingered hand to snag a cigarette from Dudley's proffered packet.
Lighting up Dudley used the time to formulate a response, "Figured a goody-goody like you wouldn't go in for this stuff." He challenged, raising an eyebrow at his cousin as he passed the lighter into his waiting hand. This was Potter's chance to get back at him for those last few digs, question was, would he?
"You'd be surprised." He took a tentative puff, "Guess there's a lot you don't know about me Dud." He cocked his head to the side, staring challengingly at Dudley with those unnatural green eyes of his, smirking slightly.
Dudley desperately wanted to punch that irritating little expression off his face, but that wasn't going to help so he restrained himself, "And he's back in the game!" He celebrated internally; Potter was finally back to copping attitude. This was much better! He knew all he had to do was wind him up enough to get a reaction.
They just sat then in companionable silence, the first such silence they'd shared in years, at least since Potter got that damn letter. That had changed everything; suddenly Potter had gone from being his weird little cousin with frighteningly vivid green eyes to this…wizard.
Who knew wizards even existed? It was like something out of the fucking twilight zone! It wasn't real, and it shouldn't have happened to him. Shouldn't have happened to their family. After that he…just couldn't relate to Potter anymore, this wasn't his cousin, his sometimes buddy sometimes punch bag, now he was...this stranger, living in his house. He knew he hadn't dealt with that well, but he was just a kid at that time, he hadn't known any better and his parents had led him to believe that snubbing him, torturing him, was the best thing to do. He was young, he was stupid and it was too late now.
But they'd both changed since then, it had been nearly six years…and Harry was...still a stranger, worse than ever, someone he barely even recognized anymore, someone he couldn't see his scrawny little cousin in at all. Sometimes he got flashes of familiarity, of shared stories, proof that he hadn't dreamt their past, but as they grew those moments became more and more fleeting, and further and further between.
He was almost frightening now, had been since this whole roller coaster started actually but at first it had just been his own fears of magic, the un known, manifesting in his interactions with his cousin (god knew the pig's tail and those toffees hadn't helped) but he hadn't ever really been afraid of Harry, now...it was different. He felt like he was actually justified in fearing his cousin.
Harry wasn't so little anymore; he was tall, taller than Dudley himself, and those eyes, haunted didn't even begin to cover it…Was magic worth it? If that's what Harry's world did to a person then he wanted no part in it, though God knew he'd been jealous at first. At eleven, Hagrid not withstanding, magic had seemed so cool, so interesting, unique, everything he had wanted to experience, wanted to be. He knew he shouldn't have wanted it, but he did. But was it a fair trade? Magic for innocence, it had taken away the care free little boy he had always taunted and replaced him with this sullen stranger. It had killed his parents, taken his friend Cedric and who knew what else? It was obviously something bad if he was this depressed, god knew there was something big going down this summer, all those freaky news reports, his parents whispering about some dark wizard...it couldn't be good. Harry had continued to bounce back from all this shit so far, but how long could he possibly keep this up? What was coming next? Would he even survive to see next summer? Dudley couldn't say with any degree of certainty that he would.
"Now you call out for Sirius." Stated Dudley with certainty, flicking some errant ash into a teacup.
The air suddenly seemed to freeze as his cousin froze in impotent shock, hand poised to knock the ash off the end of the cigarette into a saucer from a long since abandoned cup of tea.
"Your Godfather isn't he?" Ventured Dudley with feigned nonchalance, pretending he hadn't noticed his cousin's reaction to that statement. He'd never get anywhere with this conversation if he didn't push at least a bit.
"Was." Harry finally responded, "He's dead." He returned bitterly.
"Sorry." Apologised Dudley, for once in his life actually being sincere. So that was what had his cousin so fucking moody, his godfather was dead.
"So am I." Breathed his cousin, unshed tears glittering briefly in those too haunted eyes, before he brutally blinked them away, swiftly regaining his composure. That sure as hell wasn't normal, what kind of kid could push something that painful away so easily?
"Since when has Potter got so bloody good at masking his emotions!" cursed Dudley internally, this was not helping matters! "This time last year he was a ticking emotional time bomb!" He noted in impotent frustration.
"He was a good guy." Commented Harry, as though he were talking about the weather, "It's my fault…" He dropped in that little bombshell almost thoughtlessly.
"So apparently this is what's been eating him!" Realised Dudley, with sudden understanding; Potter was blaming himself for this guy Sirius' death! "Time for a reality check!" He decided with grim humour.
"Doubt it, 'less you offed him." He offered casually, exhaling a cloud of smoke. Hopefully that would help snap his irritating little cousin out of this everlasting funk.
"Might as well have." Snapped back Potter combatatively; apparently he still believed that all the problems of the world were his fault. Shit was this not good!
"And here I thought that was Voldiwhatsit." Parried Dudley coolly, not letting Potter's aggressive comeback get to him.
"One of his followers actually." Admitted Harry, cocking his head to gaze questioningly at his cousin. It was obvious why, there was no way in hell that Dudley should have known that but he did.
"I listen in doorways - remember?" Taunted Dudley, only semi viciously. Surely Potter remembered that? Time was that was something they did together, eavesdropped on his parents in doorways, they always did have to know every detail of what was going on around them, like 'The Secret Seven' or something, and god knew the last time they'd done it together had been memorable...it was when that god damn letter had first shown up.
"So it wasn't your fault." Reasoned Dudley, continuing to prove his point even as his mind was occupied in just how far their relationship had deteriorated if Potter couldn't even remember the kind of things he was likely to do. He was almost hurt by the realisation of how little his cousin actually thought of him. He wasn't thick! Maybe he wasn't as smart as Harry and never would be but he wasn't stupid.
"Feels like it." He countered petulantly, a hint of childish pout visible even with this incredibly serious subject matter.
No matter how tough his cousin pretended to be, or how thick the skin he showed to the outside world appeared to be he was still really just a kid…exactly like Dudley, he'd just had to deal with a helluva lot more shit than Dudley probably ever would.
"Well then don't get mad, get even." Suggested Dudley calmly, waiting to catch Potter's eyes, seeing his cousin's innate curiosity piqued he continued, "Everything this guy's taken from you…" he shook his head grimacing slightly at the thought of everything his cousin had lost, "... I'd be out for blood." He finished.
"It's not that easy." Potter returned, hopelessly shaking his head and taking another puff from his stubby cigarette.
"It's as easy as you make it." Countered Dudley easily, gazing at Potter until his cousin reluctantly met his eyes. Potter did not seem to agree with his assessment but Dudley wasn't done yet…
Going on a vicious offensive he continued, "What else are you gonna do, roll over and die?" He cocked his head challengingly at his eternally stubborn cousin. "Come on Potter, you always were a tough little git, shake it off!" he internally ranted as he waited for his cousin's reaction, when it wasn't forthcoming he continued to needle him. "Couldn't you have done that when I was trying to beat the snot out of you?" he questioned jokingly, finally cracking an involuntary smile out of his gloomy cousin.
"Sorry if I spoiled your plans." Apologised Potter falsely, the glint in his eyes told the real story… he wasn't sorry at all, in fact he was proud of his defiance and Dudley knew it. He always had been a contrary little bastard.
"No you're not." Responded Dudley automatically.
"No, I'm not." Agreed Potter readily, leaning forward to stub out his cigarette on the teacup.
Dudley smiled; apparently it wasn't as difficult as he'd thought to fall back into familiar old patterns. This felt like one of their old conversations, before magic, before any of this crap had kicked off, when it was just him and Harry, rivals, but sometimes also friends, and always family.
Returning to a more serious tone Dudley lit up another cigarette, proffering the packet and lighter again to Harry and asked in a would be casual tone, "You're not actually gonna let him win are you?"
Dudley had to admit he was curious about that, Potter hadn't been exactly thinking clearly lately. It was obvious he was depressed and it was also painfully obvious that this loony Voldiwatsit was trying to kill him, the million pound question was, how hard was his cousin going to fight to stay alive? With everything he'd already lost Dudley would almost have understood him wanting to give up…but he didn't want his cousin to die!
"Never." Answered Harry, without a split second of hesitation, as he fumbled with the lighter.
Well that made Dudley feel marginally better! Harry obviously meant what he said, and for the first time tonight Dudley was again getting a sense of his familiar old cousin, the stubborn git who didn't know when to quit. It was comforting to have this Harry back, and not the coldly ambivalent Harry of before who seemed not to care about his own impending death. Only his eyes still told the story of his torment, they were as dark and troubled as ever, but now, strangely resilient, tough. Harry was not about to be broken, by Voldemort or anyone else, that well remembered challenging fire once again burnt deep in those emerald depths.
"Now that sounds better." Encouraged Dudley, trying not to sound too pleased with himself. Attempting to retain some of his previous aloofness, he suddenly quipped, "You never did know when to quit." He calmly took another puff of his rapidly disappearing cigarette, using it to hide his smile as his cousin indignantly spluttered beside him, caught somewhere between laughter and outrage and clearly unsure which direction to take. Dudley smirked; it wasn't often that he got to wrong foot the great Harry Potter!
Finally getting a hold of himself, and trying to retain some semblance of dignity he responded coolly, "I never did." It would have sounded much more impressive and rebellious if he hadn't been fighting back a chuckle at the time.
"Good to know some things never change." Commented Dudley sardonically, before adding contemptuously, "You always were a tough little fucker." He cocked his head in mock challenge at his clearly amused cousin.
"Cheers." Laughed Harry in obvious amusement, inclining his head in agreement, happy for possibly the first time that night.
"You're welcome." Replied Dudley solemnly, biting back a wry smile before suddenly again changing the tone and asking a question, which while far from being tactful, was one he desperately needed an answer for, if only for his own peace of mind. He tried to make it sound as casual as possible, but he knew he wouldn't quite succeed, "So... not thinking 'bout topping yourself anymore?" He queried cautiously.
"What makes you think I was thinking about doing that?" Snapped back Potter, somewhat defensively, his previous lethargically happy mood gone in the blink of an eye.
"Why else would you be sittin' in the dark down here?" Parried Dudley logically, it was a perfectly valid question, and he wasn't about to back off just because Potter didn't feel like answering it! "You usually hide out in your room." He accused, stubbing out his cigarette, and leaning forward to hear his cousin's response.
"True," acknowledged Potter, somewhat more calmly, before once again retaking the offensive, "still doesn't mean that I was contemplating suicide though." He pointed out rationally, the kind of rationalisation that was too well thought out to be anything other than a cover up for something.
That realisation did not exactly fill Dudley with confidence about his cousin's previous state of mind, he only hoped he'd managed to get through to him... Everything that happened in the world was not his fault, and just because some nut wanted him dead that didn't make what he did his fault either. Sometimes Potter could be so bloody predictable that it just wasn't funny, he'd always been like this! Trying to take the problems of the world onto his shoulders and trying to save everyone. He just didn't understand that not everything was his responsibility, and sometimes you can't save everyone.
He decided a more specific frontal assault was in order if he was going to get Potter to admit to anything, or help him deal with this.
"That switchblade you nicked off me last week does though." He intoned seriously, glancing up to watch the expression in Potter's eyes and almost daring him to look away. Of course the courageous little idiot didn't, and Dudley could see the guilt and pain written in those dark green depths.
"So you noticed that." Muttered Potter blandly, finally blinking away from Dudley's too knowing gaze. He didn't appear to know what to say, or how to deal with his cousin's frank appraisal, it probably hadn't occurred to him that Dudley would care about what happened to him, until now...He obviously wanted to know what Dudley intended to do with this information.
Obliging his cousin's obvious interest Dudley acquiesced with the information, "I'd have ratted you out but Mum'd kill me if she knew…" He stated unobtrusively, "I'm not supposed to have it." He clarified. Didn't want his cousin thinking he was doing him any favours…especially about this…
"I know." Agreed Potter placidly.
"And that's probably why he took it in the first place!" Mused Dudley, half exasperated half admiring of his sneaky cousin; it was things like this that made him miss him in the first place! Where had that naturally devious mind been when he'd nearly been suspended for being caught sneaking out last term? Harry would have had a plan, a good one, better than the crap they'd come up with anyway. It was why they'd made such a good team, way back when…
Concerned Dudley pressed on in his interrogation, "What I want to know is, why?" He questioned in genuine confusion, "Is your life really that bad?" He pondered it out loud, looking beseechingly to his silent cousin for some kind of an explanation.
"Sometimes." Shrugged Harry unconcernedly. He didn't seem to care, or think that there was anything wrong with that.
"Well why would he?" Mused Dudley furiously, "It's the only life he's ever known!" God, sometimes it looked like his cousin's life really sucked; he didn't envy him that!
"I'm sorry." Apologised Dudley sincerely. He was sorry, sorry for his part in it, sorry for Harry's pain, sorry for his whole insane world for all the good that it would do.
"No you're not." Stated Harry simply. His words cutting as effectively through Dudley as a pack of razor blades applied directly to the skin.
"Now that hurts!" Cringed Dudley, sure he hadn't done much in the past few years to help, but what did Potter call this? He was trying to make amends, really!
"Actually I am." Reinforced Dudley, quietly restating his point.
"Grown a conscience recently?" Mocked Harry nastily, no doubt remembering all the nasty little things Dudley had done to him in the last few years, and there were a lot. No wonder he didn't believe him, Dudley was going to have to explain things somehow…in a way Potter would believe…
"We're still family." Dudley finally explained, "Sucks to see you all beaten down and know I didn't do it…" he smirked threateningly over at his cousin, causing an unwanted smile to flicker across Harry's too pale features, "that's my job." He grinned evilly.
"Sorry to deprive you the pleasure." Snarked Harry good naturedly.
Somehow they had apparently managed to get back to good natured banter, though god only knew how.
Going with the flow Dudley replied in kind with the same kind of good natured mocking, "No you're not." He retorted, rolling his eyes at the familiar immature one upmanship contest.
"No, I'm not." Agreed Harry happily, he energetically stubbed out his cigarette butt on the teacup, and suddenly looked up, eyes laced with pain, fear…and something else, regret, guilt…responsibility… Responsibility for what though, that was the question, "People are dying." He whispered softly, the guilt and pain almost palpable.
Well Dudley wasn't having that, how could Potter hold himself responsible for all of this crap? How could his so called friends let him hold himself responsible? Once again brining his cousin back to reality Dudley responded flippantly, "Oh… you kill 'em?" He questioned irreverently, forcing his cousin to admit what was already painfully obvious to Dudley; this wasn't his fault.
"No." Harry finally conceded, the word sounded forced, fake, as though on one level he didn't really believe it, but on another had to acknowledge its truthfulness.
"Not perfect, but it's a start." Thought Dudley pensively, trying to gage his cousin's reaction to his words.
Following up his reality check he asked his cousin a question he was positively dying to know the answer to, "Then how is that your fault?" He questioned, trying not to sound too eager; he really wanted to know the answer to that one.
"Just is." Shrugged Harry noncommittally, stating this grim statement as though it were a fait accompli, and beyond his control, something he had resigned himself to a long time ago. Now there was a horrifying thought!
"You really do have a martyr complex you know." Stated Dudley disgustedly. He didn't know who he was more angry with, that damn freaky school, or Harry's supposed friends who had sent him on his merry way, suicidal thoughts dancing in his head over things he couldn't change, and people he could never have been expected to save. Who exactly was supposed to be looking out for his cousin in all this? Because whoever they were, they certainly weren't doing their jobs properly!
"Wow big words." Mocked Harry, pretending to be impressed, "Know what that means?" He challenged arrogantly, cocking an eyebrow at his far from intellectual cousin.
"Do you?" Snapped back Dudley, with a meaningful look at his infuriatingly self-righteous relative, did Potter always have to rub in how bloody brainy he was? As if Dudley wasn't aware that he wasn't exactly genius material.
Potter shrugged, smirking self confidently, he knew what it meant, but then that had never been in question, he nearly always knew what things meant, understood things.
"Despite what you think I'm not completely stupid." Responded Dudley, caught somewhere both unfamiliar and unwelcome between hurt and anger. Just how thick did Harry think he was?
"No?" questioned Potter, rhetorically, in obvious and insultingly mocking disbelief.
"Now that's it, next bloody pithy comment and I'm gonna take his f---ing head off!" Threatened Dudley, silently fuming, before biting back his rage and responding almost calmly, "No. I'm not as smart as you," he conceded, grudgingly, "never will be," he admitted, "but I'm not completely thick."
Potter looked at him as though he had just grown another head, then stated amazedly, "When did you grow up?" He blinked at Dudley, as though casting scales from his eyes and seeing for the first time some particularly fascinating alien species. He seemed to be truly seeing his cousin for the first time in years, instead of just reacting to taunts and attempting invisibility.
"Maybe the same time you did." Countered Dudley thoughtfully, they'd both grown up a lot recently, it was hard to believe that only a year ago they'd faced that dementor together after getting in that god awful fight. It seemed like a hundred years had passed since then, for both of them…
"Everything's slipping out of control." Mumbled Harry absently; seemingly unsure what to make of Dudley's newfound maturity which seemed to threaten the very fabric of his existence and call into question everything that he had once believed. He didn't appear to really be seeing anything around him; he was just talking out loud, trying to work through his obviously tumultuous thoughts.
"So?" prodded Dudley, attempting to wake his cousin from his self induced stupor, waiting until Harry reluctantly met his gaze with somewhat dazed tired eyes he continued, "You're just a kid, it's not your fault, not your problem." He tried to emphasise these supposedly obvious things to Potter, apparently without much success.
"It is." Refuted Potter tonelessly.
"Then stop whining and crying and do something useful." Rejoined Dudley in obvious indignation at his cousin's irritatingly defeatist and self-flagellating attitude. When was he gonna get it through his head that this really wasn't his fault?
"Maybe never." Dudley grudgingly conceded to himself, though he wasn't about to give up just yet. He used to be good at getting Potter to snap out of his funks; maybe he still had some skill left…
"You know, for once you're actually right." Replied Potter, with more enthusiasm than Dudley would have thought possible a few minutes ago, eyes glittering with a cold burning fire which sent chills up and down Dudley's spine. What the hell had he managed to stir in his cousin now? It certainly didn't look good and Dudley had too wonder how bad things would have to be to produce such a hateful, frighteningly look in his normally amicable cousin's eyes. He had to know, steeling himself he prepared to ask…"Harry…" He began haltingly, unsure quite what to say, what he needed to ask to find out what he so desperately wanted to know.
"Hmmm…" responded Harry absently, picking at the tacky looking rose embroidery on the sofa cushion he had long since been grasping in an unconscious strangle hold. Who he imagined he was strangling Dudley was curious to know, Voldiwatsit, or someone else…
"Whatever's going on…" He paused uncertainly, "all the weird crap this summer…" He explained tentatively, "It's really bad huh?" he stated redundantly, unsure if he really wanted confirmation or not.
"Really, really bad." Confirmed Harry mildly, lifting his eyes to catch Dudley's light blue ones. There was nothing but honesty in those too frank eyes and it scared Dudley to death. What the hell was happening?
"Thought so…" breathed Dudley unhappily, briefly closing his eyes in fear and confusion, two emotions he was not fond of in himself, though he relished in others. He let the silence wash over him for a few long moments, and when it became apparent that Potter was not going to break it to elaborate he once again broached a subject which had been the cause of much concern on his part, "So are you gonna give me the switchblade back now?" He asked casually.
"Yeah…" responded Potter ponderously, as if just surfacing from a dream, "I don't think I need it anymore…" he admitted with dawning wonder, as if it had only just occurred to him that this was the case. Digging around in his pocket he retrieved the blade and finally returned it to his owner.
Dudley pocketed the knife, glad to finally have it back, and out of his cousin's clearly less than stable hands. He didn't think he'd be able to live with himself if the git topped himself with his knife….it would be like the ultimate indignity.
"Dudley…" Potter suddenly began again, unexpectedly.
Looking up startled at being called away from his musings by his usually less than sociable cousin Dudley wasn't sure what Potter was about to say. "Yeah…" he mumbled noncommittally, cocking his head as if questioning what Potter could possibly have to say to him.
"Thanks…" Stated Potter, his tone surprisingly devoid of any mocking or insolence. He really meant it.
"What are cousins for?" Retorted Dudley easily, unwilling to break their tentative truce by getting too deep or mushy.
"Night Dud." Potter suddenly sprung up to leave, with more energy than might reasonably be expected at four am. Dudley was suitably impressed, perhaps Potter wasn't as much of a goody-goody as he had previously thought, the guy certainly had stamina!
"Night cous…." Mumbled Dudley as he watched his cousin silently bound up the stairs, "Good luck, you're gonna need it." He muttered almost silently under his breath, unsure whether he wanted Harry to hear his words or not.
Quietly he moved to pick up the soiled tea cup (He'd have to remember to make Potter pay for that tomorrow!) and then finally made his way to bed, musing on everything he'd just heard.
Nothing had changed, they both had lives to live and images to uphold, but for a moment there they had been something other than enemies, they had been family. Something they always should have been and rarely were.
"As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone." 'Of Mice and Men', Chapter 5, page 93, by John Steinbeck
Written because Harry got over Sirius somehow, and God knows we didn't see it happen.
Could possibly fit in with 'Draco's Choice', as one relationship between cousins disintegrates, another is reborn, all in the same summer! Now that's what you call ironic…
Oh and if Dudley seems a little OOC to you think of it this way, what the hell do we actually know about Dudley Dursley anyway? For all we know this kind of conversation could be perfectly plausible, so he's a bullying toerag, but is that all he is? Just a thought!
Thanks for reading!
Please review!
XXX
Edited 12/3/07