Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, Foaly, Koboi, Cabaline, or Trouble, nor Butler. Please read and review. Chapter Three coming this Sunday.
"Yes, Trouble, I am requesting a job as an LEP consultant," repeated Artemis, clearly growing tired of the surprise.
"Artemis, I don't even know if that's legal. You're, you know, human."
"Not entirely…" Even Artemis knew this was unlikely to convince Trouble.
"Well, Artemis, exactly what could you give to the LEP? If I know for a fact you have something to offer, I may be willing to reconsider," said Trouble.
"For starters, I could track down any remnant of the goblin smuggling ring. Unlike you, I can easily blend in without shielding to hunt down the humans still smuggling," claimed Artemis.
"You mean, Butler could," laughed Trouble.
"Yes, yes… but I also have something I want to show Foaly… I device I hope to find Koboi with." Artemis smiled, something he could now do without seeming to be overly vampiric, as he played his trump card.
"Fine. I'm offering you three months to find Koboi. Find Koboi, and you're a consultant. Report to Foaly tomorrow, he's head of the technical consultant branch of the LEP." Now, the vampiric grin appeared, but not on the face of Artemis but Trouble's.
"Thank you, sir," quipped Artemis.
"Dismissed," laughed Trouble.
As the fog of sleep lifted from Artemis' eyes, he recalled yesterday's conversation. Donning his customary suit, Artemis glanced over his shoulder at the suspiciously free of sharp edges room, and stepped out the door.
The breeze cut across his pale visage, and Artemis loved it. He was outside for the first time in one year. Three hundred, sixty-five days… and seventy-three time five in three hundred sixty five.
Raising both hands over his head, as was customary for Havinian taxi-hailing, a startled sprite finally agreed to carry him to Police Plaza.
"P-p-police Plaza? But… you're a Mud Man!" stammered the poor sprite.
Artemis arched his eyebrow and held out his fare. The sprite's speed did not drop below seventy miles an hour, which was ridiculous for a taxi in Haven for inner-City delivery.
The lights of Haven dazzled Artemis, from the neon signs to the fake sun. The colors of the buildings were brighter and purer than anything seen above the Earth's crust.
Finally the taxi pulled to a screeching halt, and Artemis nimbly threw his legs over the lip of the taxi onto the blacktop plateau of Police Plaza.
A helpful map glared near Artemis, allowing him to quickly find his way to Tech. A small satellite dish tracked his movement across the blacktop. Blacktop, mused Artemis, are the fairies really that alike to us?
Any further musings were interrupted by a jesting voice.
"Fowl! Follow me… to your cubicle."
"C-c-cubicle!" Artemis was lost for words, for the second time since his 6th birthday.
"Yes, Mud Boy, cubicle," jeered Foaly.
In actuality, the cubicle wasn't that bad. Much of the word must've been lost in meaning between species, as what Artemis came upon was a shared office.
Why is this room so… familiar? I fear my office-mate is quite paranoid. One way glass, for goodness sake, and plasma tile… Oh!
"You work in a cubicle?" inquired Artemis.
"Aw come on. I thought I could get you complaining about it, Cabaline would've loved doing a PPTV episode on annoyed Mud Boys…" trailed off Foaly. "So what about this new invention…"
"Yes, here I have it." Artemis reached into his coat and pulled what appeared to be a miniature rocket with a green circle for a nose.
"Not bad. I suppose that was all you could do, but it is an improvement on ours," said Foaly. "What exactly does it do?"
"It works very similarly to your 'scopes,' in that it can hack into satellites and steal audio or video. Also, it is highly portably and aerodynamic. Due to the perforations in the sides, a patent design of mine, it can fly with minimal propulsion. Once it's going, it needs no fuel. The flaps on the side can steer. Lastly, the iris cam on the tip can relay video," monologued Artemis.
"How does the iris cam charge? No brain power charging this," Foaly complained.
"It absorbs and processes nitrogen particles," quipped Artemis smugly.
"Oh…." Said Foaly, shocked by Artemis. "The hunt for Koboi starts tomorrow."
From across the room, a young centaur comes through the door.
"Daddy?" cried the young centaur. "I can't find Mommy! All that I found was a note.
"Read it, Colter," said Foaly.
"Foaly, Artemis – Stop looking for me. There is no way you will find me. If you continue the hunt I will take more of the people you love."