(Authors Note: Just wanted to let you know that I will be doing my best to post a new chapter each week, but as this is not my only fanfic currently in progress there may be some delays. As always I would love to read any reviews so feel free to review.

PS: If you are a fan of Disney's Descendants please be on the lookout for my new story due to post the first chapter in the next few days.

Thanks much love,

Cheshire)

Chapter 2

Isabel felt as though she was falling as the darkness swallowed her into her nightmares, but she had been plagued by them for so long that she no longer fought the darkness. As the dark around her dissipated she found herself standing on a dimly lit street and quickly looked around; she was completely alone as the sky above her swirled with heavy clouds. A shiver ran down her spine as she realized that she knew this place and the tears began welling up behind her eyes.

"Oh god, please no!" She pleaded taking a staggered step backwards as she stared up at her childhood home. Turning around she prepared to run only to find her feet unable to move. Looking down she saw the shadowy tendrils wrapped around her ankles and felt her blood run cold. A scream tore from her throat as the tendrils ripped her off her feet and dragged her into the house. Inside the tendrils receded back into the shadows and Isabel rose to her feet to look around. She knew better than to try the door knowing it would be locked, it was always locked. The panic inside her rose as she started into the living room, following the sound of an oven opening and a woman softly humming. As she came the doorway she saw her grandmother pulling a sheet of cookies from the oven as a younger version of herself stood on the stool beside the counter and tried to grab one.

"Not yet sweetheart, they have to cool first." Her grandmother smiled as the little girl giggled and hopped off the stool. Isabel felt the hot tears running down her cheeks as she turned to look back at the door just as it was kicked in. Back in the kitchen her grandmother ushered her younger self into the cupboard and told her to stay there and not to come out no matter what she heard or saw through the slatted door. Isabel watched, frozen, as the gunman walked through her into the kitchen aiming at the old woman. The gunshot was deafening as her grandmother's lifeless body fell to the floor between the table and the cupboard. Just like that the gunman was gone and Isabel watched as her grandmother's blood flowed silently under the door, remembering the feeling of it pooling around her bare feet. Closing her eyes tightly she fought back the tears before walking toward the cupboard, the scent of chocolate and copper mixing in her nostrils as she passed the blood splattered cookies on the counter. Her hand trembled as she reached for the door handle, but she knew that the only way out was to keep moving forward. Bright light washed over her as she opened the door and stepped through into the next memory. It was a beautiful day at her family's summer home, but she knew what awaited her as she walked toward the house. As she drew closer she could hear the happy laughter of her brother as he played in the back yard with their dogs. Even without her nightmares she remembered this day all too well and knew that her mother was out back gardening. It had started out as such a happy day, but she had learned the day her grandmother had died that even the happiest days could change in an instant. The tense feeling in her chest spread, making it hard to breath as she walked into the house and headed to her parents room upstairs. As the door swung open she felt her heart breaking and the tears began to soak her cheeks all over again.

"Daddy?" She heard behind her as her sixteen year old self stepped into the room. Her father turned slowly, his pistol resting on his leg as he gave her a weak smile.

"Go back outside, baby doll." He said softly, but even from across the room Isabel could see the red puffiness of his eyes and the salty trails painting their way down his cheeks.

"Okay," younger Isabel said uncertainly, pausing to look back at her dad, "I love you, dad."

"I love you too, baby, always. I'm so sorry, baby doll." She heard her dad say softly. She wanted to scream at her younger self to turn around, to run back and take the gun away from him, but she had tried that before. She had screamed herself hoarse trying to get her younger self's attention, but it never worked and now, as she looked back at her dad, all feeling abandoned her in an attempt to protect her from what was about to happen. She felt empty as she watched him put the barrel of the gun in his mouth just as her younger self reached the top of the stairs.

"Daddy!" Her scream mixed with the sound of the gun going off and the tears flooded down her cheeks as her younger self ran back into the room and collapsed at the foot of the bed. She watched, lost in anguish as the other her hugged her dad's legs desperately trying to will him back to life. It felt like an eternity passed before she was finally able to pull herself away from the door frame and make her way down the hall to her bedroom. Pushing the door open she stepped through, leaving the memory behind as she found herself standing before an empty grave. The rain poured around her as she raised her eyes to read the name on the headstone. It was her own and she fell to her knees as two figures stepped forward and wrapped their arms around her drooping shoulders.

"It's time to go, sweetheart." Her grandmother said as she stood and stepped over to the grave to their right. Isabel's gaze drifted up once more as she watched her grandmother's ghost evaporate into the rain. Her dad stepped forward next taking his place to her left and lifting his hand for her to take.

"You coming, baby doll?" He asked as she stared at him. She paused for a moment, her hand only inches from his as she contemplated giving in and going with them. Shaking her head she withdrew her hand just as every time before and looked up at him in desperation.

"Daddy, I'm so scared. What about mom and Ty? I'm not ready, daddy. I'm sorry." She sobbed as more tears soaked her face. Reaching down her dad put his hand on her cheek and brushed a tear away as he smiled at her.

"It's okay, you know we'll be here for you when you are. I love you, baby doll." He said with a smile before he too evaporated.

Loki gently brushed his hand over Isabel's cheek, surprised to find her face drenched in tears, as she let out a small fearful whimper. Sensing that she was waking he stepped away into the shadows feeling a pang of guilt as he left her to her demons.

"Daddy!" She cried out as her upper body launched forward off of the bed. She gasped for breath as her mind reeled in the wake of the nightmare. Finally realizing that she was indeed back in her room she ran a hand through her sweat drenched hair and pulled her knees to her chest as sobs sent tremors throughout her body. She could faintly sense that someone was close by, maybe even in her room, but in that moment she found herself unable to care. Her heart ached as her dad's face flashed behind her closed eyelids.

"I'm sorry, daddy, I'm not ready to go yet. I know it'll happen before long, but I'm so afraid. I don't want to die, daddy." She said softly into her knees. Little did she know that her words had reached the keen ears of her shadowed observer who raised a curious brow as she made her way into the bathroom. Stepping out of his hiding place Loki eyed the closed door wishing he could ask her what her nightmare had been about, why she had been crying, but he knew that rather than welcoming his concern he would most likely be met with immeasurable hostility. With a resigned sigh he left the room hoping one day he would understand what she had meant. Isabel stood in the shower letting the hot water run over her body as she leaned one arm against the wall. True, she was used to the nightmares, but that didn't mean that it ever got easier or that the pain ever lessened. She knew that some day she wouldn't be able to say no, she knew that some day she would have to take her father's hand and follow him into the void that awaited her.

"I miss you so much, daddy." She whispered into the steam around her. She wasn't sure how long she just stood there under the water, but as she made her way back to her bed she felt the remaining fatigue from her restless sleep wrapping around her like a blanket. Curling up in bed she hoped for a peaceful sleep, but as the world around her once again grew dark she knew that luck was not with her. The alarm sounded all too soon, though she felt as if she had been trapped in her nightmares for days. Rolling over her hand collided with the alarm clock sending it flying into the wall across the room.

"Shit." She groaned as it shattered against the wall. Sitting up, she ran a hand over her face and surveyed the broken electronic from across the room, momentarily considering going back to sleep and skipping training. It was with a heavy sigh that she threw her comforter back and swung her legs off the side of the bed. Steve wouldn't be very happy if she were to skip out on her second day of training so she set to work getting ready to head to the gym. Loki had only just raised his hand to the door when it swung open revealing Isabel dressed for training, but now all the god of mischief could see was the frightened sleeping woman from the night before. His hand still raised, he simply stared at her for a moment fighting the part of himself that wanted to brush his fingers over her cheek again. Quickly clearing his throat he straightened and lowered his hand in a gesture for her to go ahead of him. He was quiet as they walked to the gym, but given her restless night Isabel opted to ignore his strange behavior and focus on her training. Again she, Steve, and Sam went for a run around the lake and again she demonstrated her skills in the gym; it wasn't until she was headed to the kitchen that Bucky's absence dawned on her and she wondered where he had been.

"Oh, Pepper!" She called as she made her way toward the front doors later that evening. The red haired woman stopped at the base of the stairs and looked up from the file in her hands. Isabel jogged over to her, but paused to look out the doors where Nat stood by her car waiting.

"Umm, I was wondering if there were any foods that you know of that anyone won't eat or foods that they prefer." She asked cautiously. She was admittedly surprised when Pepper simply smiled and handed her a folded piece of paper and a credit card.

"There's a list of everyone's allergies and some suggestions on what they like. The card is to an account I set up especially for the compounds food budget. Tony only ever orders pizza and no one else likes grocery shopping so there's about $5,000 on there." She explained at Isabel's puzzled expression.

"Pepper, I can't possibly use your money, especially not that much." Isabel objected, but Pepper cut her off with a laugh and a wave of her hand.

"Don't worry about it; if you don't use it it'll just sit there and build up. Besides, it's technically Tony's money." She added with a wink as she made her way up the stairs. Isabel stared at the card in her hands for a moment longer before heading out to meet Natasha at the car. It was some time later that they made their way back to the compound where, after six trips back to the car, they managed to get everything to the kitchen. As Nat left to take a shower Isabel set to work putting everything away and setting out what she wanted to make for dinner.

"Where's the pizza at?" Sam asked as everyone made their way into the commons area to find Pepper sitting on the sofa.

"Sorry, but the days of having pizza every night are over." She said as she stood, pulling Tony's phone from her pocket as she did. Snatching it from her hand Tony gave her a puzzled look and followed her as she left the room.

"I'm sick of all of us living on pizza, so starting tonight we're going to start having real meals around here." Pepper explained as everyone followed her to the large dining room that half of the team had honestly never seen. A collective feeling of shock and awe passed through everyone as they saw the delicious foods covering the table.

"Okay, I'm not paying for a cook, so how did you pull this off? When did we even get groceries?" Tony questioned turning to Pepper.

"We went shopping earlier and fully stocked the kitchen; Isabel's the one who cooked." Natasha said as she walked in from the kitchen followed by Isabel carrying a stack of plates and silverware.

"You made all of this?" Steve asked, wide eyed. Isabel felt her cheeks warming and shrugged as she began setting the table.

"Well I wanted to do something to show my thanks. You've all been so nice to me even though I have the least training and can't really help out that much." She said as everyone filed in and took their seats. It was quiet as she filled each of their plates before getting her own food and taking a seat between Steve and Sam.

"Wow, Isabel, this is amazing!" Peter exclaimed as he took a bite. Isabel simply watched with a quiet smile as everyone enjoyed their meal and fell into casual conversations, but she couldn't help noticing that two people remained silent. Loki and Bucky spoke to no one as they ate and she occasionally caught one of them glancing her way, but decided that they were most likely just being their normal brooding selves. Once everyone had finished eating Natasha and Pepper helped her get the dishes to the kitchen and put the leftovers away, but she waved them away from the sink full of dishes telling them that she would take care of them when she got up in the morning. Her bedroom was pitch black when she awoke aside from the glow of her alarm clock that showed 12:23am meaning she had only been asleep for just over two and a half hours. Laying back on her pillow she let her forearm rest on her forehead that was now drenched with sweat; the nightmares always got worse when she moved to a new place. The clock read 1:07am when she check it again; she had been trying for half an hour to get back to sleep, but it was a sleep that refused to come. Finally giving up she climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom to wash her face before heading to the kitchen, if she couldn't sleep she may as well do something useful with her time. As she walked down the hall past everyone's sleeping quarters her keen ears caught the sound of a faint thump coming from one of the rooms. It wasn't until she was about to pass the door that she realized the sound had come from Bucky's room. After a moments thought she stopped and gave a soft knock waiting a minute before knocking again. She was about to leave when she heard a quiet voice from the other side of the door beckon her to come in.

"Hey Bucky, it's just me. I heard a noise, are...are you okay?" Isabel asked as she slowly opened the door. Bucky looked up from where he sat on the edge of his bed, a bit surprised to see the young woman now standing in his doorway, and cautiously slid his gun back into its holster hanging on the bed post. Isabel didn't miss the ever so slight movement as he put his gun away and frowned deeply taking a cautious step into the room.

"Do you always have nightmares?" She asked, remembering how many times she had been woken up by her father having nightmares, and how many times she had been awoken by her own.

"Not always." Bucky replied, combing his metal hand through his hair as he leaned forward. Walking forward Isabel placed a soft hand on his shoulder to get his attention and smiled as he looked up at her.

"When my dad would have nightmares I would make him hot cocoa; why don't you let me make you some? I'm headed to the kitchen anyway." She said gently urging him to his feet, pleased that he wasn't objecting.

"So, why are you awake?" He asked, taking a seat at the island counter when they reached the kitchen. Isabel hesitated briefly in her search for ingredients, but hoped he hadn't noticed as she set the ingredients on the counter and pulled out a small pot.

"I have insomnia, so I don't really sleep a lot." She said as she mixed the milk, chocolate, vanilla, cinnamon in the pot and waited for it to boil. They both fell into a comfortable silence until the hot cocoa was done and Isabel placed Bucky's mug in front of him.

"Want some?" She asked pulling a can of whipped cream from the fridge. He gave a small nod in reply and watched as she stood on her tip toes to reach his mug.

"You're tiny." He chuckled as she topped the cocoa. She looked up a bit surprised by his remark before giving a lighthearted laugh causing him to meet her gave.

"Well, maybe you're just really tall." She said, catching him off guard as she sprayed a tiny bit of whipped cream on the end of his nose. She laughed louder at his surprised expression and turned in one swift motion to her her own mug sitting on the counter behind her. She missed Bucky's smile as he wiped the topping from his nose and licked it from his fingertip, but as she turned around to face him again she noticed his mood become somber once more and his eyes drop to the mug between his hands.

"So, your dad had PTSD?" He asked. Isabel was happy he was looking down and unable to notice her tense slightly at the mention of her father.

"Yeah, it got pretty bad sometimes. He never really talked about any of it, but I was the only one that could ever get him to calm down." She explained as his gaze lifted to her face in gentle curiosity.

"When he first came home from deployment my mom would try to make him his favorite foods, but he didn't trust anyone; he thought she was trying to poison him. If he had a nightmare or a flashback he would become violent and no one could go near him. My mom decided to bring me home from private school to help with things around the house, but when I came home dad changed, he was more like his old self again. He used to say that I brought the light back, used to call me his north star. When I made him food or cocoa he would eat, so I decided not to go back to my school. Thankfully they let me finish out my schooling in online classes so I was able to stay with him." Bucky watched as a sad smile came to Isabel's lips and her icy blue eyes became dark and clouded with memory.

"What happened to him?" He asked, recognizing her broken expression, it was the look of someone who had lost everything.

"He killed himself." She admitted softly. It was the first time she had told anyone about her father's suicide outside of her closest friends and family, but she felt strangely at ease telling Bucky. She was lost in memory when the sudden feeling of something cold touching her hand made her look up to find his metal hand over hers. Following the lines of his muscles she looked up to his shoulder and bit the edge of her lip lightly.

"Does it still hurt?" She asked as he followed her gaze.

"Not so much, not since Shuri made my new arm, they removed a lot of the scar tissue." He said softly, watching her fingers trace over the cool metal to where it met flesh. He winced as he realized he had worn a tank to bed that night, but the sad look in Isabel's eyes made his chest ache with something other than fear.

"Thanks for the cocoa. I'm going back to bed." He said quickly as he suddenly stood and left the room. Isabel stared blankly at the untouched mug on the counter, her hand still hanging in the air as he left her wondering what had just happened. Bucky trudged down the hall and threw his door open before slamming it closed behind himself. Safe inside his room he leaned back against the door and slid down to the floor throwing his head back against the wood with a satisfying thump.

"What am I doing?" He scolded himself rubbing his metal hand down over his face. Pausing, he moved his hand back and inspected it, his chest tightening as he remembered the feeling of her hand on his arm. Her touch had been feather light, but the sensors in his prosthetic had still been able to pick it up and relay the feeling to his nerves and he felt a small shiver run up his spine as he thought of how gentle she had been. It seemed that keeping her at a distance was going to prove more difficult than he had originally thought. In the kitchen Isabel watched Bucky's forgotten cocoa as she finished her own. Grabbing his mug from the counter she felt a small spark as her hand covered the same space his had just minutes earlier and she could swear she still felt the warmth from his hand on the mug. She watched the chocolate swirl down the drain thinking back on how close they had been and the way his metal arm had felt under her hand and felt the heat rise in her cheeks. Closing her eyes she gripped the edge of the sink and tried to shake the thought from her mind.

"I'm such an idiot; I can't get attached. It's bad enough that I'm putting Clint and Natasha through all of this, but I can't put him through that." She sighed heavily. She couldn't put someone like Bucky through something so painful, but at the same time she knew that she couldn't tell him her secret either. She couldn't tell anyone her secret.