"Just this once…" she murmured softly, tears streaking down her cheek.

"Please…"

She cried, cried, cried for all that could have been, cried that hadn't been, cried for things that would have been.

Cried for the bloodied face of Li Syaoran, amber eyes dark and blank, body limp and cold.

Underneath the rain, within her shivering body, she suffered.

"Why?" she screamed up to the heavens. "Why will you not give me this one happiness I have been longing for a millennium?"

And as her tears mingled with the rain splashing on her cheek, she closed her eyes and wished, for the first time, that she would hurry up and die.

Again

Hello, good-bye, let's hope to meet again.

The soul tires after so many years of feelings, the brain suffers from too many memories. Which is better, which is worse?

Everything was white in a hospital. It symbolized purity, maybe hope.

It was disgusting.

Sakura stared at the white wall disgustedly, bitterness coating her eyes.

She was tired, tired, tired. Maybe… maybe it was time to give up. She was just far too tired to continue this tirade, hoping before her world crashed all over again.

Maybe she would have to be satisfied of getting the elusive Li Syaoran once in her many lifetimes.

It would have been so much easier to do so if he would just stop. Appearing. In. Her. Life!

She was already in her thirties, many wondering why she didn't get herself married already, as it wasn't as though there weren't people who liked her. She was a very likable person, if she could say so herself. But… all those she dated, her mind imagined another person in front of her, taking her out.

Everything had gone downhill soon.

Tomoyo, her beloved sister, getting crippled, still in a coma. Her father's death. Losing her job in the midst of mourning. And she couldn't even pay for her sister's much needed operation.

Someone cleared their throat, and she looked up before cursing violently in her mind.

Of all the nurses and doctors to send to see her, it had to be him.

"Ms. Kinimoto?"

Sakura watched him warily, not wanting another heartbreak.

"…Yes?"

His face was schooled into a mask of indifference, though she and she alone could see behind it, to the pitying look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry to say this, but as we were waiting for the money for your sister's operation, she passed on."

The silence, how it was deafening. How she wanted to curl into a ball and forget the world, forget everything. This, this life of hers, the time she had spent with her sister in this life, it was far too quick, everything was happening so fast. Wasn't it supposed to go slower, as everything hit her like a ton of bricks?

"…Is that so."

She didn't even have the money for a proper burial.

"Thank you for telling me."

That was a lie.

"Can I…" Sakura cleared her throat as her voice cracked suddenly, mentally berating herself for being so weak, "…can I see her?"

"Of course."

Five days later, she had burned her sister's body and spreading the ashes across the forest they used to visit when they were little and still had parents. Then, she burned the house of Kinomoto down to the ground.

One day after doing so, she killed herself, painting the ground with her blood.

Kinomto Sakura was thirty-one. Li Syaoran would later on hear of this story, and feel so guilty to the point he took his life as well at age thirty-three.

Time moved forward for mortals; apparently, that was not so for the unmovable force of fate and destiny, what was meant to be.

No, not even those goddesses that believed themselves so high and able to choose a man's fate. They were the ones being dictated through the true fate.

The mortals called her Hestia, as did her brothers and sisters. Goddess of the hearth and home, she was often forgotten and blended into the background.

Ah, her brother Zeus, once upon a time (though that didn't seem right, as they lived both further into the past and further into the future) known as Li Syaoran, and known that in most of their lives.

The gods were as fickle as the mortals. Hera, jealous little Tomoyo, never suspected that the reason she had sworn an oath of chastity was because of her playboy husband. How those two had gotten together and stayed together was a mystery to her.

Because she didn't want to be lured into the trap his golden eyes offered.

She was a well-loved goddess, though she didn't have nearly as many stories to offer as her family members. Aphrodite; how in the world did Rika become such a kind person later on in life? Or, perhaps, how did she become such a flirty goddess? She certainly was beautiful enough for the job of the goddess, but it was unbelievable that Rika was… that.

However, no one looked at Hestia with hate and anger because of petty squabbles. She was the calm one, the one no one suspected of being the most troubled.

Sometimes, it was hard to remember things, how things would come to be, what had happened in each and every of her lives. And that was more frightening than anything else.

Syaoran was her brother. Oh, how wrong it felt. How people married family in this age! Yet, she was still completely in love with him…

Hestia, Zeus, Aphrodite, Hera, and all other gods and goddesses would disappear when the Greek civilization died down, and the belief in them was down to nothing.

Ying Fa she was in body.

Kinomoto Sakura she was at heart.

Concubine of the Emperor.

Sakura wanted to retch. Her? Concubine? Emperor? The emperor being Eriol?

That was just scarring in so many ways.

Syaoran, this time, was probably somewhere she would never find him. A peasant living a simple life, hopefully.

Eriol didn't seem very interested in women, luckily for her. He was far more interested in his work, in being a good Emperor to the Chinese people.

She was relaxing in the library, passing men sending her the most disbelieving looks she had ever seen on a face. As a woman, they believed she should be out in the garden flaunting her good looks or getting laid. Sakura, quite frankly, shuddered at both thoughts.

The books in the vast library were far more appealing than the other two options.

Maybe she could take the civil service exams, sneaking underneath the guise of a man. Not like poor Eriol would notice her disappearance, nor would anyone else care. There were just too many concubines offered up to the Emperor for anyone to keep track of everyone, not to mention Eriol himself.

"It's unusual to see a woman sitting in the library, peacefully reading a book," a kind voice remarked.

Sakura looked up to meet up to see who would be known as Tsukishiro Yukito, know most probably known as Yue.

"Thank you," she replied, smiling softly.

"You're welcome," he said, smiling back at her, sitting down across from her.

"You don't mind if I sit here, do you?"

"Of course not."

"And if I may be as blunt to do so, may I ask your name?"

"An Ying Fa. And you?"

He colored softly and Sakura realized how she had gotten a crush on him in one of her lives.

"Ah, that was terribly impolite of me, was it not?" he murmured, looking rather embarrassed. "I am Yue Liang."

"Moonlight," she mused. "And your family name?"

"Tu."

Rabbit? she wondered, an amused smile playing by her lips, remember how Yukito had meant 'snow bunny'.

"You'll probably know my brother better," Yukito, now Yue Liang, continued on. "He's a general. Tu Yue Ying."

Sakura had, indeed, heard of Yue Ying. A name opposite of Yue Liang, meaning moon shadow. Shadow was a very good description for her future guardian. Not completely dark, not completely light; a fitting name for a judge.

"Would you happen to be that new concubine sent by the An family?" he asked, not meaning any harm.

"Yes." Her reply was short, bitter, sharp.

Yukito, Yue Liang, whoever he was, seemed to realize that this wasn't a subject to pursue, and they quickly turned to other subjects, finding himself impressed with the girl's knowledge.

Sakura would, eventually, marry him, and die happy for the first time in so many lives, though she never burdened him with the knowledge of what she knew.

She died at 65, Yukito following her soon enough.

Li Syaoran, unknown peasant, rose to a general while Sakura still lived, but they never met, and he died in a squabble against a rebelling family.

"Sakura-sama. Lead us."

Those words were what lead her to this; leadership of a tribe deep into a forest no one but they themselves knew.

"Stranger, why might you be here?" she asked, knowing perfectly well why he was here. He had gotten lost, just as she had.

He gave her a sheepish grin. "Erm… I got lost."

Sakura threw back her head and laughed, forest green eyes sparkling with mirth.

"At least you're honest. Eriol, aren't you?"

The grin lowered into an expression of shock. "H- how did you know that?"

"She knows everything!" a little girl in the back piped up, dirt brown eyes filled with admiration. "Sakura-sama knows everything about everyone and everything, figured out all of the forest's secrets before we did, knows all about medicines, knows how to keep the annoying foreigners away, knows everything!"

Eriol whistled, looking rather amazed himself. "You figured out this forest? It's huge!"

"Listen to the earth," she replied with a serene smile, "and you will find your answers."

"And she doesn't reply to your questions at all," grumbled a ruby-eyed girl around Sakura's age.

"So it's true," Eriol wondered out loud. "That there is a woman deep in the forest, leading a group of forest people infamous for hating 'foreigners' who was a 'foreigner' herself who knows all and everything."

Sakura groaned, twisting a lock of her auburn hair in a strange habit she had picked up in the years. "I don't actually know everything."

"Yes you do," was the immediate reply from all in the vicinity.

Sakura rolled her eyes and turned to Eriol. "You are welcome to stay, but be careful of overstaying your stay. The forest will not tolerate strangers forever."

"Are you speaking of yourself as well?" he asked, and from the look in his eyes Sakura reassured herself that it was here curiosity coming from him. Though, that knowing look in his eyes was far too familiar for comfort. Had her father spoken to him?

"The forest and only the forest can answer that," she said, inwardly smirking at the frustrated look people from all sides were giving her.

"Oh, and your friend can come out," she added, keeping her smile on.

The familiar form of Li Syaoran came to light, looking surprised, obviously not expecting she would spot him.

"…You truly are amazing," he murmured, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"Thank you." And Sakura truly meant it, sincerity in her voice. She had not spoken to her lost love in her past fifty lives. They had never met… or she had gone to great lengths to avoid him.

Because it was painful. Painful to know he was there, a symbol of her crumbling world and times she would rather not remember, wanting to keep her fake happiness close to her heart.

Perhaps it was time to try again.

"The same applies to you."

"I'll be sure not to overstay, my lady," he said, a teasing glint in his amber eyes, bowing dramatically.

"Be sure not to." She sniffed just as dramatically and left with specific orders to her tribe members of keeping their guests happy.

Just because she was giving him another chance, it didn't mean she wasn't going to give him a hard time about it. This time, Sakura hoped, she could finally properly fall in love with, and vice versa.

Her hope, just this once, came true, and they lived through generations and generations, before the forest decided their time was up, and they fell asleep to wonderful dreams, never to wake up again. Their children's children burned their bodies and scattered their ashes throughout the forest, so they could forever live and grow with the forest.

"…I've missed you."

"Hah, sorry about that."

"You should be."

"It's my turn to forget this next millennium or so, hmm?"

"Yeah… And I swear I'll make you remember before you managed to."

"You wanna bet?"

"With what?"

"Good point."

"…You think we'll be all right this time?"

"Hai. Zettai daijoubu da yo."

Hey! So here's the second part of Again. Does anyone still want me to continue? .