Hey readers. Jitterwhack here.

Disclaimer: The following is a nonprofit fanfiction of RWBY. RWBY belongs to Monty Oum(RIP) and Rooster Teeth. Any likeness to writings of others is not intentional. To help with improvements: Read and Review!

Chapter 2: Bear-able

Today was not a good day for Weiss Schnee and Ruby Rose. Why you may ask? One reason. They f**ked up.

How bad a they f**ked up? Well. Imagine the most horrible, most regretful, most horrendous mistake you could make, and multiply it by AIDS and cancer.

They not only pissed of Yang. They somehow angered Nora, Pyrrha, Sun, and Neptune to a degree where they are currently hiding in Professor Port's stuffed replica of a Boarbatusk.

They would have chosen the Edgar hole like a certain knight did a few days ago but…

Meanwhile in the Edgar hole

Jaune Arc was currently wrestling a Beowulf in a muddy Edgar hole wearing nothing but a loincloth with a mass of students watching. Yang found him and thought making him fight for his freedom would be a fitting punishment.

Snapping the wolf's neck with his bare hands and hearing the cheer from the crowd, he looked up at his tormentor. "Ok. It's dead. Can you let me out now Pyrrha? Please?" asked our blonde knight while panting heavily.

Pyrrha would have taken him out of the hole a few days ago. But Yang persuaded her to keep him in there. In her words 'Imagine it P-money. Jaune, all hot and sweaty fighting for his freedom. He'll be looking to you to set him free from his cage. And just like all gladiator that fight, he'll be wanting a prize.'

Knowing of what male gladiators have gone through and what their 'prizes' were two-thirds of the time, Pyrrha donned the roll as an empress forcing him to fight.

"Not yet slave! This last fight will be your key to your prize and freedom." Said the red headed empress while looking down with half lidded eyes to her entertainment. Turning to a certain green clad teammate, Pyrrha prompted him to get into position. "Release the oil."

At her command, Ren poured massage oil on Jaune whilst looking to him with sorry eyes. Used to the routine of oiling himself up before the next beast, Jaune unintentionally gave a show to most of the female spectators.

'Oh yes. You dirty boy.' Thought a certain cat faunus.

Standing up, Pyrrha waved her arm to signal the beast out. "Are you ready slave?"

"I, who am about to die, salute you." Stated the unfortunate blonde while facing his captors.

"God send!" shouted Pyrrha. "RELEASE! THE CREEP!"

'Don't worry Jaune. I'll rescue you at the last second if you can't beat it.' Thought Pyrrha smiling deviously. 'I'll also be sure you thank me properly too.'

And the fight commences.

With Ruby and Weiss

Street of Vale

"This plan is horrible Ruby." Whispered Weiss while steering clear of people trying to avoid the Boarbatusk strolling on the sidewalk.

"It's a great plan Weiss. We'll escape to Mistral on a boat, ditch this disguise, and live our lives with new names and a new start as strawberry farmers." Ruby said explaining her plan.

"There are so many flaws in that plan I don't know where to begin." Argued Weiss. "And we'd have a better chance of growing strawberries in Vacuo instead of Mistral you dunce!"

"But that's what makes it a huge success!" Ruby argued back forgetting to whisper. "Since Mistral doesn't have a strawberry farm, we'll be the their only local source for the stuff!"

"Ruby! Quiet down! People are staring!" Weiss said while panicking. Looking over to a corner, she saw Yang, Nora, Neptune, and Sun turning their way.

"There's the wild Boarbatusk those civilians were screaming about!" shouted Sun.

"Ruby! Quick. Do something!" panicked Weiss.

"Uh, uh!" Digging into her pockets, Ruby pulled out her 300 Lien savings for the strawberry farm investment. With tearful eyes, Ruby pushed the money out through the derrière of the Boarbatusk. 'Goodbye my strawberry farm!'

"That Boarbatusk is pooping money!" shouted a poor civilian.

Instantly, people started crowding around the Boarbatusk trying to grab the money. Luckily, there was still enough room for Weiss and Ruby to get out said Boarbatusk and out of the crowd. Unfortunately, they bumped into Yang at the end of the crowd.

"Looks like we found you." Said Yang while her eyes flickered to red. "Cuff 'em Sun."

Not hearing the sound of handcuffs, Yang turned to look for Sun. "Sun?"

"BACK THE F**K OFF! GET THE F**K OFF!" shouted Sun while trying to wrestle the crowd for the Lien. "THIS MONEY SH***ING PIG IS MINE!"

"Neptune, help us out here!" shouted Nora hoisting the Boarbatusk on her shoulders. "This is infinite pancake money."

"Uh! Junior Detectives! ALL CIVILIANS LEAVE NOW!" Neptune shouted over the crowd while pulling out his badge. "I'VE GOT A BADGE, SO YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE!"

"EAT A DICK COP!" shouted a male civilian.

"YOU GO EAT TWO DICKS, B**CH!" shouted Sun back while pocketing two hundred eighty lien and kicking a few hands away.

"NO! YOU GO SUCK… FIVE DICKS!" shouted an old lady.

"YOU'RE SUCKING EIGHT DICKS FROM EVERY DIRECTION JUST LIKE AN OMNIDIRECTIONAL DICK SUCK FEST!" shouted Sun losing his last nerve.

Sighing at their idiocy, Yang grabbed Ruby and Weiss by the back of their shirts before they could run and dragged them off back to Beacon.

"W-what are you gonna do to us?" asked a paler Weiss. Yang didn't bother to respond. "Yang? Yang? C'mon!"

Ruby was silently crying the whole way back.

A few hours later

"We, who are about to die, salute you!" shouted Jaune, Weiss, and Ruby all dress in leather loincloths. The only thing covering Weiss and Ruby's chest was a blue robe.

Jaune wrestled the Creep into submission and won his freedom. Unfortunately, Pyrrha threw him back in after twenty female students each gave him passionate kisses in a row.

"When I get out of this, I'm moving to Mistral to start a strawberry farm." Jaune said with conviction.

"I'll join you." Added Ruby hoping for freedom.

"After hearing Ruby's explanation… I am willing to follow." Grumbled Weiss. "Besides, you two wouldn't know how to give a proper price and might even give them for free."

"Silence slaves!" shouted Empress Pyrrha while sitting between Queen Nora and Mother Yang. "Bring out the Ursi!"

Back in Vale

Downtown holding cell

Sun was being held on probation for police brutality. The money he did get was given to the civilians as compensation. He still hadn't figured out the Boarbatusk was fake.

Jitter: Look forward to next chapter

Preview:

"U-um, Ruby? What are you doing?" asked a flustered and red Arc.

"Shush Jaune. I'm almost done." Said Ruby while getting to the third button.

Unfortunately, the elevator doors opened to show the rest of team WBY and NPR. To their surprise, it looked like Ruby Rose was stripping Jaune Arc shoulders down. Luckily, Nora was able to hold Pyrhha down, while WB and Ren restrained Yang.

"And what is going on here?" asked an irate Weiss struggling to hold a leg.

Looking up from her work, Ruby saw all her friends dressed for success. After opening Jaune's shirt to reveal a bit of chest, she grabs his blazer and drapes it over his shoulders. "Ta-dah! My very own Goodwitch! Male version! What do you guys think?"

Hope you enjoyed it!