Disclaimer: If I owned Saw or Costas Mandylor, I wouldn't be wasting time writing 'fantasies' on FanFiction would I...

Chapter 2: Between Life and Cake (SawManiac211)

"One day we're friends forever..."

"Next day we're friends for never..."

"You say – "

"She says – "

"SHUT UP!"

Amy and her friend Lisa looked up, confused. "That's not the lyrics!" Amy said reprovingly. "Geez Kat, I'd've thought you'd known the words by now!"

Kat glared at them. "Amy, all you have done today is sing crap songs by The Midnight Beast and be annoying."

"Oh...but I wasn't even trying this time!"

Kat sighed. "God, I'm surprised Jigsaw hasn't put you in any of his traps yet."

Lisa face palmed. "Don't mention stuff like that, she'd probably LIKE it..."

Amy smiled distantly. "Actually, I probably would."

"How come?"

"C'mon Lisa, with Hoffman within a metre radius would it really be so bad?"

"You're sick!"

"I know, and AWESOME at it!" Amy laughed and pointed. "Look, someone's been sick on Stealth!"

As they made their way to the exit of Thorpe Park, the theme park they'd spent the day at, Amy suddenly stopped short. "Guys!" She said excitedly, pointing. "LOOK!"

They looked – and gaped. Just on the corner was an arcade booth with a claw that scooped up a prize – and the prize was...

"MUFFIN PLUSHIIIEEEEEE!" Amy squealed and made for it. She inserted a coin and concentrated on the controls. "Aww, squirrel crap!" She complained as the time ran out and the claw ascended again.

"Amy, we've got to go!" Kat checked her watch. "We need to meet my dad at the car park in five minutes."

"C'mon, just one more go," Amy begged, making puppy eyes. "Plleeeeaaaassseee..."

"Fine." Kat crossed her arms. "One more go."

Half an hour later, they were still there and Kat was livid. "AMY!"

"I WANNA MUFFIN PLUSHIEE!"

"Well, we're going to be here all day if you – " There was a pinging noise and the three girls stared at each other as the muffin plushie landed in the collection box.

"YAAAAYYY!" Amy grabbed it and did a celebratory Amy-Shuffle, which consisted of odd arm gestures and jogging on the spot.

"Great, now I'm going to the loo before we FINALLY GO!" Kat stormed off, Lisa racing after her.

"Sheesh..." Amy pouted and looked round. It was getting dark and a few people were still hurrying to get home, but there was someone going in the opposite direction – someone with a very recognisable face. Amy froze then ran after the figure, weaving in and out of the families and friends. "Hey! Wait a sec!" She lost sight of him and stopped, catching her breath. Vaguely she realised that she was now standing near the now deserted Saw: The Ride area, the familiar warehouse looming. "Figures..." She shrugged – and then someone jumped on her from behind. "MY MUFFIN PLUSHIE!" She screamed as she was floored, and then she felt the syringe pierce her neck. Her arms tightened around her now-greatest treasure. "Can I keep the plushie?" She murmured up at the hooded guy in a pig mask before passing out.

"So you think you lost the plushie?" Izzy asked sympathetically, putting a comforting arm round Amy's shoulders as they made their way cautiously down the corridor.

Amy nodded, sniffing. "Unless Hoffman has it...mebbe he's hugging it..." She smiled at the thought.

"His cologne rubs off on it, bags I get it." Allana said.

"I had it first!"

"I bagsied it, too bad you're too slow!"

"No faiiirr!"

"Guys, shut up!" Ricky turned back to look at them. "There's a door."

There was a silence as they all stared at it.

"Can it see into your soul like in Charlie the Unicorn?"

"No, Amy..." Ricky slowly pushed it open and the four of them stepped inside. As soon as Amy had jumped in after a seconds pause, the door slammed shut and a TV screen flashed on with Billy's familiar face leering at them.

"Hello and welcome to your first test. Amy, you have a habit to annoy people and make jokes and references which only you understand and find funny. The rules are simple: the machines on either side of the walls will be firing off rubber bands in all directions – something that you have always found annoying. You and the rest of your group must make it across the room to the door at the other end in five minutes, otherwise the nail bombs in each corner of the room will detonate. I hope you have the skill to come up with a plan to defeat this situation – you certainly have the means to set a solution plan in motion. Can you do it, or will your smart mouth be the death of you? Let the games begin."

"Whoa, hang on." Ricky shouted at the winking camera. "Why are the rest of us in this?"

"I think," Izzy commented. "That it's his way of saying we're all annoying as hell."

"Some sweet-talker he is!" As if to prove his point there was a buzz and the machines let fire. They ran into a corner, looking nervously up at the nail bomb above them – and the firing stopped.

"Well," Allana sniggered as she stepped out into the open. "That wasn't very – " An elastic band narrowly missed her eye and she dived for cover, rubbing her nose.

"It's hopeless!" Amy wailed. "We're doomed!"

"Hang on..." Ricky waved a hand slowly in front of him and immediately snatched it back as the machines let fire again. "Oh my God! It's a motion sensor!"

"So?"

"So, he said 'You have the means to set a solution in motion'..." His eyes rested on the muffin in Amy's hand.

"Oh my God..." Izzy's eyes widened. "Amy, in order to survive you've got to throw away the muffin!"

"What?" Amy squeaked.

Allana nodded. "They're right: if we throw it towards the door the machines will be distracted by that – we can then run through relatively unharmed and throw it back to the next person to start the process all over again!"

"But my muffin..."

Ricky looked grim. "I think this is your true test Amy: throw away one of the things you love most or die."

Amy stared at the muffin, then back at Ricky: she had tears in her eyes. "But it's a chocolate chip..."

"I'm sorry."

Amy nodded, swallowed – and let the muffin fly from her hand. Immediately elastic bands sped in its direction.

"RUN!" Izzy screamed and Amy sprinted after it, a few machines focusing on her but only hitting her legs and arms. Once at the other side Amy picked up the slightly squished muffin and hurled it back. Ricky caught it one handed and followed Amy's example. He wasn't so lucky: an elastic band hit him on the side of his neck and left an angry red mark.

"MOVE!" He bellowed as he threw it to Izzy and looked at the timer. They'd wasted time; they only had thirty seconds left.

"Time flies when you're having fun." Izzy said sarcastically as she lobbed it at Allana. "C'mon girl, hurry up!"

Allana fumbled the catch and it dropped just within firing range: when she reached out to get it thirty elastic bands hit her hand with deadly accuracy. She screamed but managed to gingerly pick up the muffin and throw it limply across the room. She ran after it and hurled herself out the room, Ricky slamming the door after her. They counted ten seconds, and then there was a muffled explosion and a sound like falling rain as the nail bombs exploded.

"Well done, Amy." Izzy walked over and hugged her. "Your sacrifice saved our lives." Ricky came over and joined them.

"Uh, you guys?" Allana waved her injured hand at them. "More serious problems here...like how am I meant to attract Hoffman with a hand swollen up like a watermelon?"

Amy winked. "You never know, he might like watermelons."

"Shut up...just 'cos I bagsied your plushie..."

And so they completed their first test.