"I think you've got something to say to the crew, 'Elizabeth,'" Carth said, glaring at the ex-dark lord.
The venom in his voice stung her. So that was what Saul had told him. Surely he could see that – I mean, surely he's not SO stubborn that… What am I thinking? Of course he is. Elizabeth gazed sadly at Carth's deep brown eyes, the pools of warmth and comfort that lit up in her presence… Or used to. She could see it there. He blamed her for it all. Telos's destruction, his wife's death, Dustil's dark path, despite her aid in turning him off of it. All of the work they had done to get to this point, with only one Star Map remaining to be found. Her face fell. He hates me now, doubtless…
"What is it, Lizzy?" Mission asked her. The young twi'lek's face was curious and concerned.
"Should I tell them, or will you?" Carth said, folding his arms over his chest.
"Carth, you of all people should know this. I don't care what Malak or Saul said, that's just not who I am anymore!"
"Who aren't you? Whaaat?" Mission was getting more confused by the moment.
"What's going on, Elizabeth? Something you're not telling us…?" Canderous raised an eyebrow. Zaalbar released a questioning bleating sound.
"I'll tell them… Malak, he… He said that I'm Revan."
Mission gasped. "But how is that possible? Revan's dead!"
"No. Malak assaulted his ship. Bastila was a part of the team sent to capture Revan – me – and she kept me alive after his attack. Then the Jedi council wiped my memories as Revan and gave me a smuggler's identity."
"Whoa, you… Wow. But… But you're not Revan, now, are you? I mean, not evil?"
"Of course not, Mission! Why would we be on a quest to destroy a dark lord of I were?"
"Oh, I dunno. To reclaim your title and get revenge on your mutinous apprentice?" Carth said, scowling.
"Carth, I can't believe you would say that!" Mission shouted. Elizabeth blinked, startled. Mission looked at her. "You don't even remember being Revan, do you?"
"No, just those Star Map visions."
"Then it doesn't matter. I followed, and I'm friends with who you are now, and who you used to be doesn't matter at all – Me and Zaalbar will stick by you, right Big Z?
/Even without my life debt, I would follow you,/ Zaalbar said. /You have proven yourself to have a kind heart and a wookie's honor. You've helped my father, and me, and all the Wookies on Kashyyk, and for that I owe you twice over./
Elizabeth looked over her group of friends. "Canderous? Jolee? T3?"
"Didn't I tell you already? Good or evil, I'd follow you. Battles and honor trail behind you, and you're a damn good fighter, too – it's too bad, you would have made one hell of a Mandalorian." Canderous punctuated his short speech with a firm nod.
"I've seen a destiny in you that I haven't seen since Andor Vex hit Kraat's engine," Jolee said. "I want to see how this turns out. I do not doubt that there is great good in you, but there's no knowing where this path is going to take you, and this old coot wants to be there to find out."
T3 released a long string of whirrs and beeps that Elizabeth interpreted to mean something along the lines of "You're my master, and I will follow you. But you have shown kindness I have yet to see in many humans." Elizabeth smiled.
"Little guy wouldn't hold a grudge," Mission said, giving the droid a thumbs up.
"What about you, Juhani?"
"What can I say? You were my idol as a child, as you are a great inspiration to me now – you turned me from my dark path, so why should you not be able to turn from yours?" Juhani drawled in her lilting, feline voice.
"HK?"
"Statement: I am experiencing something strange, master."
"What is it?"
"It seems that the homing system deliberately restores my deleted memory core upon… Upon returning to my original master."
"Revan was your original master?"
"Indeed. It seems you built me while you were still in power."
"Well, would you look at that," Mission said. "Don't see that kind of thing happening every day."
"We are dealing with the Force, here," Canderous said. "At this point Malak could drop from the sky into my lap and I wouldn't bat an eyelash."
"True."
"Well, HK? You don't think I'm like Revan, do you?"
"Observation: That does not matter, master. I am your droid, regardless of your actions or personality. Besides, you saved me from that terrible Yuka Laka. I still would like to crush his neck, master."
Elizabeth looked back to Carth, who was leaning against the cold walls of the Hawk, scowling. "Don't be such a big baby," she teased him, but he only glared at her. It was uncomfortably silent for a few moments. And the silence stretched. A few moments took the place of minutes. Many, many minutes. "…Carth?" she whispered. He looked up at her. "I'm not Revan anymore. You have to believe me."
"How can I? You're a god damned Sith Lord!"
"No! I'm not! I…" Tears budded in Elizabeth's eyes. She blinked them away and turned to her crew. "There's… There's still a chance Bastila can be saved. And if there's a way, we've got to try it. But it's doubtless Malak has her. Either we wander the galaxy and hope we bump into him, or we find the last Star Map, the Star Forge, and in turn, Malak and Bastila. C-Carth, fly us to Manaan. We've got one more map to find."
With that, the ex-Sith Lord walked with stiff shoulders to the starboard dormitory, curled up on her bunk, and focused all her will on not crying. She failed.
Carth watched her go and frowned. He'd made her cry. He was a gentleman, of sorts, and it did not sit with well with him that he'd made a woman cry. Even if she was a former Sith Lord. He sighed and walked off to the cockpit, leaving the rest of the crew to their own designs.
He leaned back in his chair and sighed. All he knew or cared about at the moment was that they had been hunting so long for Malak, and they'd had his old master right along with them the entire time, listening to all of their plans and…Carth shuddered at the thought. His head hurt, and he really didn't feel like thinking about everything that had happened.
The Hawk arrived on Manaan after sunset, so they retreated to their quarters for some hard-earned rest. But few on the crew could really sleep. Their thoughts all hung on the discovery of their leader's previous identity, and what it meant to them.
Carth in particular tossed and turned in his bed, completely unable to get comfortable. He grunted unhappily after adjusting himself for the hundredth time, then gave up and buried his face in his pillow. It can't just go back all of the sudden. Not after this, he thought. It was too weird. Now I really feel like a fool. I'd opened up to her. I told her things I used to not even consider, not in a million years would I have thought I would have spoken to anyone about. I was getting buddy-buddy with a Sith Lord!
Canderous dealt with inability to sleep in different ways. He got up and went to the swoop bay, where he greeted HK-47 and proceeded to spar with him. If it was not the rhythmic motions of battle, it was the utter fatigue tat overcame him after one that was the Mandalorian's perfect lullaby. And HK was an amusing sparring partner.
"Statement: Oh, I wish all meatbags shared your love of killing. The galaxy would be far more entertaining that way…" HK mused as he blocked a swipe from Canderous's vibroblade.
"Sure, it would be. And the Mandalorian Wars would have been longer, that's for sure. Too many weak planets willing to run and scream and die without fighting back."
"Depressed Confirmation: It makes the death so much quicker. There is no fun in that, despite my love of screams ringing through my audio receptors."
"I've gotta say, droid, you're much better with a blaster."
"Agreement: With which the better to splatter the guts of your enemies gloriously across a room."
"Hey."
Canderous turned around and HK paused in his unsuccessful attacks. Elizabeth stood in the door to the swoop bay, shivering – she was only wearing her soldier underwear. Her black hair was in a mussed-up ponytail.
"R-Revan?" Canderous stuttered. He wasn't used to seeing her like this. He shook himself and regained control. "What in the hell are you doing up?"
"I could ask you the same thing. But you woke me up. HK wasn't quite silent either." She threw a lopsided grin in the droid's direction.
Canderous shrugged. "It helps me get to sleep."
"Why couldn't you sleep?"
The Mandalorian tensed up. "I don't ask you personal questions." Elizabeth was startled. It was like he suddenly threw up stone walls. His face was hard and unreadable. "Just because I told you some old war stories doesn't mean we're best friends."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess. I didn't know it was personal…"
"It is. And I don't need your concern."
Elizabeth was silent for a moment, then she spoke up, rather angrily. "You don't have to act like such a lone wolf all the time! Everyone gets lonely sometimes. A little bit of human contact wouldn't kill you!"
"Mandalorians don't need anyone," Canderous shot back, glaring at her. HK was watching with what would be a droid equivalent of an amused grin.
"If you don't need anyone, then why should you care what other people do or think? Why should it matter to you if you tell me why you can't sleep!? Something that small shouldn't matter anyway!"
"You're the most damn persistent woman I've ever met!"
"Yeah. I've heard that before." Elizabeth hunched up her shoulders and stared at the floor.
Canderous was almost knocked breathless by realization at his own stupidity. Dammit. I should have known better. You're too old for this, anyway. Too old for this…
He looked over at her, so slight, so delicate, and he doubted this woman could ever have been a Sith Lord. Especially the one that felled the Mandalorians. But she was. The clues were all over, but no one had seen them.
Mandalorians don't need anyone.
"I…" Canderous started. Then he laughed a little. "I'm a damn terrible Mandalorian."
Elizabeth looked up at him. "Why?"
In a few steps, before she knew what was happening, he was there in front of her, his strong arms wrapped around her. His body was pressed against hers, and in his gestures she could feel his hunger for this – lust more than care, but the caring was there.
"Because I need you," Canderous said, more of a sigh than anything else. With that he tilted her head up and kissed her.
Carth grunted once more as he got up from his bunk, figuring a walk around the Hawk couldn't hurt. He stretched his legs and began walking quietly, barefoot, across the cold metal floor, not even noticing Canderous's empty bunk.
He stopped first in the cockpit, moving his hands over the familiar controls. Born to be a pilot, they'd said, a natural. Not seen one better. For a ship, perhaps, but piloting ships? It was one of the easiest and least important of things to know how to steer, and which way. Carth looked out the windows at the empty Manaan hangar, quiet as a graveyard save the splashing of the endless ocean against the foundation on which Ahto City had been built.
Elizabeth pulled away from the kiss in moments. She had enjoyed it, but she knew it was just because she was lonely. She felt distant from everyone in the crew, lately, regardless of their kind words. "Canderous, what are you doing? You know that… That…"
"That you love Carth? Yes."
"But I don't-"
"You'll figure it out," he interrupted her. People did that a lot lately. "But I'll be damned if this old heart," Canderous gestured to his chest, "will ever know any sort of affection again. Will yours?"
Odd question, she thought. "I feel like I really screwed up," Elizabeth sighed, deciding to let up and tell him a bit. He'd shared enough with her to make up for this at least, even if what he had shared had been worthless share material to him. "Like it's all my fault, somehow."
"Consciences are nasty things. But there's not a whole lot one can do about them."
"Funny thing to say for someone who doesn't seem to have one," Elizabeth teased him, then sobered up seconds later. "I want it to be okay again. I know he hates me now. He has every right to, but –"
"What in hell gave you that idea?"
"I… I've been a terrible person, regardless of if I am now. Who's to say I won't be again."
"I am. You're not Revan anymore, and you know just how abhorrent it is to me to be talking to the mastermind that defeated my people, but not."
Elizabeth smiled. "But you still call me Revan."
"A man can dream."
"You dream of things other than honor in battle, Canderous? Impressive. Will you show mercy to an opponent, next?"
"Don't push it, girl," Canderous said, but he was grinning. He still had a hand on the wall behind Elizabeth's head. He wondered for a moment if he would kiss her again, just one last kiss. He didn't give a damn what most people thought, especially Carth, whiny Republic lackey as he was.
Neither Elizabeth nor Canderous noticed Mission watching the entire display from behind a doorframe, wide-eyed, upset. Nor did either notice as Carth walked in while Canderous stooped for his last kiss, as he stepped back, walked away, ever so quietly.
Elizabeth broke the kiss again. "Canderous!" she said, borderlining threat.
"All right, all right, cool your jets, girl. I'm satisfied now, anyway."
Elizabeth glared at him. "I don't get you."
The Mandalorian backed away and smirked at her. "I think that's for the best," he said, before retreating to the port dormitory. Elizabeth watched him go, thoroughly confused, then went back to her bunk, exhausted and troubled, while Mission scurried back to her own bunk and pretended to sleep.
Author Comments: Bad Candyman! But... This won't be the last we'll hear from him. -evil cackle-
Whoops! That there was a spoiler, wasn't it.