A/N: Yeah, I guess I should continue this.

Naegi was appalled, really. What inexplicable force made him decide this was worth the trouble? That made him think it could stand between him and his precious aspirin? That aside, there was no turning back at this point.

Ishimaru followed behind the plain student like a piece of gum on his shoe. The hall monitor's over dramatic cowardess was slowly picking away at Naegi's patience.

Finally, as they reached the cafeteria, Ishimaru sprinted behind the door, locking his eyes on Naegi. He made a crude hand gesture as if telling him to get on with it. Naegi shot back a glare telling the hiding student that he owed him one.

'I should just get this over with.' Naegi thought as his presence turned a few heads.

"Ah, Naegi! You're back! Is Ishimaru alright?" Maizono was the first to acknowledge his return.

"Oh, he's totally fine." Naegi said, a bit to matter-of-factly. "He just doesn't want to be laughed at."

"Why on earth would we laugh at him?" Asahina asked.

"Ohh, you'll find out soon enough." Naegi sighed.

"So what's the dude's prob?" Hagakure asked, leaning back into his chair. 'Typical of him,' Naegi thought. 'Ignorance is bliss for a guy like Hagakure.'

"He just-" Naegi was about to finish that sentence when an excruciating screech came from behind the cafeteria doors.

You know what? If he couldn't finish an explanation, Ishimaru had to do it himself. He pointed at the door, hoping it would suffice, and muttered, "I'm going to get some aspirin."

Ishimaru froze dead in his tracks. He didn't move. He didn't blink. He didn't even breathe. A hand was tightly held over his mouth as everyone continued to stare in his direction. It was all over. He might as well accept defeat.

Ishimaru stepped out into sight…very slowly, may I add, and kept the same hand over his mouth. Much to his displeasure, he hiccuped loudly into his hand, but still loud enough for the others to hear.

"You just have hiccups…? That's it?!" Fukawa screeched.

"Hey, lay off the poor guy!" Asahina defended.

Ishimaru squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment. Maybe this was a bad dream. Once again, he was distraught to open his eyes again to see the same thing. Yep, not a dream.

"Well, regardless…" Kirigiri interrupted, "how did we let this get us off track? We still have to actually start this."

"Well, how's that bro supposed to do all of the speakin' if he can't say one uninterrupted sentence?" Leon asked the lavender detective.

"I-I think we should help him out…" Fujisaki suggested quietly.

"Well, if all you're going to do is discuss petty hiccup cures, count me out." Togami declared, standing up to leave the room.

"I go wherever Togami goes!" Fukawa ran after her knight in velvet suits.

Soon enough, a few people trickled out of the cafeteria, until only Leon, Maizono, Fujisaki, Mondo, Junko, Celeste, Asahina and Sakura were left to console the hall monitor.

"Any ideas?" Celeste opened the new topic.

"Ah, I remember somethin'!" Leon snapped his fingers. "I remember…this one time, one of my teammates got this really bad case of hiccups during practice and we tried to ignore it…but we ended up forcing him to chug his whole water bottle!" He laughed out loud.

"So…drink some water?" Junko simplified.

"…and we had to hold him down by his arms! Good times…" at this point, Leon was now full on laughing about his baseball memories, until Fujisaki, Celeste, Asahina and Sakura followed Ishimaru to the kitchen.

The white-clad student had already filled a glass of water, and was eyeing it anxiously for some unfathomable reason.

"Well? Aren't you gonna drink it?" Asahina placed a hand on her hip. Ishimaru snapped his eyes towards her in a jittery fashion.

"U-uh…yeah…" He hiccuped shortly after. Halfway through downing the glass, he jerked forward, subsequently choking on the water.

Ishimaru coughed and hacked loud enough to make a few heads in the dining room turn while half-listening to Leon's incessant blabbing.

When a handful of seconds passed, and Ishimaru was showing no signs of improvement, Sakura took that as her key. She approached Ishimaru and began slamming her fist on his back. Well, that worked…but it ended up hurting more than helping. At this point, he was struggling to beg Sakura to stop. Finally, Fujisaki timidly yelped, "W-Wait, you're hurting him!"

Sakura pulled her hand away and apologized to Ishimaru. Once he could speak again, he accepted the apology, waving dismissively.

Attracted by the chaotic cacophony, Junko entered the room. Raising an eyebrow with an irritated attitude, she addressed her entrance.

"Alright, I'll bite. Like…how did turn into a full-on execution?" Her annoying voice whined.

"Why not call it…a lack of communication?" Celeste mused, looking as serious as ever. As if adding onto Celeste's account, Ishimaru tried to muffle a hiccup.

"Well, ya ended up chokin' 'cuz ya did it wrong!" She stated in a rather accusatory tone. "Ya gotta stand on your head!"

Ishimaru didn't dare mention the fact that he already tried standing on his head. It would ruin everything. Instead, he turned away, humiliated.

"If I were to-HIC!-do something as stra-nge as stand on-HIC!-my head, my c-HIC!-calm demeanor would be-HIC!-ruined!"

This guy…he needed to chill. At least that's what the look on everyone's faces said when they glanced at each other sideways.

"At least just give it a shot," she shrugged, turning to leave. "Oh, by the way, Mondo has a suggestion. He just doesn't give enough craps to tell you."

"What suggestion?" Celeste asked.

"He said somethin' about holdin' your breath." She said with her back turned as she left yet again.

"Oh, that reminds me! I have Internet access on my computer…" Fujisaki snapped his fingers. "Oh, and before you ask, I've already tried looking up anything useful about this place…I got nothing."

"Well, why don't you go get it while we try helping Ishimaru here?" Asahina smiled. Fujisaki nodded and started a trek to the library. Once Fujisaki was out of sight, the three girls turned to Ishimaru, motioning for him to get it on with.

Ishimaru took in a deep breath and crossed his arms. As he stared off into the distance, the others stared back in awkward silence. He hiccuped a few times, and soon enough, the others could tell something was wrong. His face was turning a concerning shade of blue, and was fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Breathe, you moron!" Asahina shouted in a panic. Yes, we're all aware here that Asahina isn't known to call people morons. Still, she was known to say things in a blind panic.

Ishimaru exhaled loudly, panting for a few moments.

"Why didn't you breathe?!" Asahina scolded.

"Even in such an insignificant situation, I must do my best!"

Everyone stared at Ishimaru as if he had grown another head. "Is something wrong?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Well, for a start, you finished that sentence free of interruptions," Sakura pointed out.

Ishimaru froze. She was right. A smile slowly grew on his face.

"Ha, ha! As I said, effort always yields results! I shall have to thank Mondo for his helpful tip!"

The three ladies scratched the back of their heads. Man, he had a weird way of speaking. Regardless, this pointless ordeal was over.

The four started to return to the kitchen, ready to resume the previous—

"Ishimaru!" Fujisaki panted as he returned with his bulky laptop.

Ishimaru, still unnecessarily jumpy, let out a less then masculine shriek and flew back.

"Friend Fujisaki! Don't scare me like…"

Screw you, Fujisaki…seriously. You're adorable, but screw you. Somehow, he managed to scare Ishimaru so bad, the hiccups came back. How, you ask? Logic, that's how. Try not to think too much about it.