Author's Note: Sorry I took so long, our puppy got the parvo virus and all we've done is take care of him, so I didnt really have much time. Thank fully he's doing better now. Any way I hope you enjoy this chapter. As long as you guys keep enjoying it, I'll keep writing it. Thanks for reading and please review. :)
Chapter 2: Celery Stalks and Peroxide
Ozians and Munchkins disappear and are suddenly replaced with Shiz Students and a lovely Celery Stalk-I mean Elphaba
Shiz Students: singing When we're in the Home or out in the streets we'll always remember who we shunned, that celery stalk at our days at Dear Old-
Galinda re-enters AN:in what I think is the fastest costume change in history on top of luggage filled with "hair supply"
Galinda: OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOsings so high she makes Shiz Student #1deaf old
Shiz Student #1: OW! My ear! I think my ear drum exploded!
Galinda: oops, I did it again…um sorry?
Shiz Student #1: WHAT! I can't hear!
Shiz Students: Ignoring Shiz Student #1 Shizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Shiz Students and Galinda minus Shiz Student #1 who ran away screaming finish their song and look strangely at the Celery Stalk-I mean Elphaba.
Elphaba: Sees them staring at her I guess you guys AREN'T colorblind then? Shiz students and Galinda shake their heads No, I'm not a vegetable or any kind of plant-
Shiz Student#2: under his breath Are you sure?
Elphaba: I heard that! No, I'm not but if I was I'd be a Venus Fly trap
Shiz Student #2: Why?
Elphaba: Gets close to his face and whispers So I could eat you…alive Opens her mouth and closes it quickly making a snaping sound. Shiz Student #2 wimpers while everyone else goes on ignoring him
Frex enters with Nessarose
Frex: Elphaba!
Elphaba: Annoyed What do you want? I mean, Hi "beloved" father-who-shuns-me-all- the-time-but makes-me-take-care-of-a-daughter-that's-not-even-his-in-the-book.
Frex: What was that?
Elphaba: Innocently Nothing. Oh look, this is my cough half sister Nessarose, as you can see she is a perfectly pasty white color such as yourselves.
Frex: Stop embarrassing us! The only reason I brought you here was-
Elphaba: Was to make sure that Nessa could stalk Boq all she wanted.
Boq: What?
Elphaba and Frex: Nothing.
Frex: Anyway, here my precious little Rose hands her a box
Nessa: Oh, silver shoes! I love them Daddy!
Elphaba: WTF! She can't even walk! What is she gonna do with silver shoes! Hang'em up from the wall like a Disco Ball?
Frex: Elphaba, shut up.
Elphaba: under her breath Make me
Frex: I would, but child services won't let me. Nessa I love you and remember-
Nessa: I'm your favorite!
Frex: That's right. He pats her on the head Elphaba-
Elphaba:Yeah, I know you don't like me
Frex: Exactly, AND?
Elphaba: AND make sure Nessa doesn't get lost at night while she stalks Boq.
Boq: What?
Elphaba and Frex: Nothing.
Frex: Goodbye my favorite child, goodbye-
Elphaba: Yeah I get it, just leave. Frex walks away as Elphaba flips him off
Nessa: Sorry about the sho-
Elphaba: That's ok, Frex is just a jealous prick because I have head full of hair and he's just a stupid bald man who can go suck it for all I care…I mean I don't even like silver shoes…
Madam Morrible enters
Madam Morrible: Ahh another year teaching complete idiots…Welcome I'm the Head Bitch-sorry typo-Head Mistress. Whether you are here to learn to lie, cheat, steal, or all the above I guarantee you will excel in taking over any governments your little heart desires…or you get your money back.
Everyone looks shocked at Morribles statement
Madame Morrible: Now, now I'm just kidding, we don't give money back… It was a joke, relax…Everyone relaxes and laughs nervously Now on to room assignments…Miss Nessarose you will share a room with me---
Elphaba: What! That's not supposed to happen-Frex said I had to take care of her and Elphaba's thoughts: wait! why am I complaining? This means I can be free! On second thought…
Madam Morrible: Oh but Miss Thropp, you don't have a roommate…
Elphaba: That's okay, I'll live outside with the Animals if you want me to…
Madam Morrible: No, looks at chart Let me see here…Looks at chart some more as Galinda and her posse talk amongst themselves
Galinda: When is this plot gonna start moving? I swear, I'm like the most important person here, what the hell is taking her so long.
Posse: You should complain Galinda, you're just too good to just stand there and not do anything.
Galinda: I should huh? I mean look at me, I'm beautiful and perfect-How dare she?-
Madam Morrible: Any volunteers to be-
Galinda: Ooo That's my cue! Madam! Runs over to her
Madam Morrible: Oh perfect you're gonna be The Celery Stalk's roommate. How "good" of you.
Galinda: Wait what?
Elphaba: Huh? On second thought I'd rather room with my sister…
Madam Morrible: No too late, starts to wheel Nessa away
Elphaba: NO! I will not room with Barbie on Crack!
Galinda: I'm not a Barbie!
Everyone stares at her
Galinda: I mean I'm not on crack…
Does weird magic thing and Nessa comes back to her
Nessa: Elphaba! You know I hate the handless wheelchair ride! It makes me nauseous!
Madam Morrible: Oh my God! I thought you were just some green freak! Turns out I was right…but you're a SPECIAL green freak. You will be in my weird sorcery seminar! And one day or in the next couple of scenes the Wizard make you his "magic grand vizier" under her breath, Or what I like to call, my next paycheck And as for the rest of you- I will ignore because you are simply not important to the plot.
Galinda: WTF! What about me! I'm important too! I was supposed to be in the seminar! What the hell is going on here? I broke a nail, I ran out of hair-um ties, I'm not getting what I want, the world is surely coming to an end!
Madam Morrible: Oh just suck it up. Exits with Nessa
Posse: Oh Galinda let us comfort you!
Boq: No! Let me comfort you!
Glainda: Why don't you guys just carry my luggage, for I'm feeling sooo "weak"
Posse and Boq: yes Galinda, you goddess you! They all exit except for the celery stalk
Elphaba: Did that really just happen? Have I actually understood…that I have to share a room with the Barbie on Crack and that my sister has to live with the Head Bitch-oops sorry typo-Head Mistress?
AN: Did you just forget that the Wizard could make you his "magic grand vizier"?
Elphaba: annoyed If you would just let me finish!
AN: scared for her life sorry.
Elphaba: -And that the Wizard could make me his "Magic Grand Vizier"?
AN: Yeah it did just happen, could we move on?
Elphaba: Stop pressuring me!
AN: hides in a corner Okay.
Elphaba: Now let me sing my song that's dripping with forshadowing…LalalaMy weirdness is a talent lala me and the Wizard could best friends…lala he might even degreenify me if I'm lucky…lalal I'll be making good…lala ONE DAY THEY'LL BE A CELEBRATION THROUGHOUT OZ THAT'S ALL TO DO WITH ME…lala the Wizard and I..lala I'll be making good…maybe Frex will stop hating me..no, no he wont he's just a big prick..lala maybe Nessa will finally enjoy the handless wheelchair ride…no she's just a … never mind…lala…and though I'd NEVER SHOW it, I'd be so HAPPY I could MELT…lalala more foreshadowing..lala I'll be making good, they'll call me "Elphaba, The Good"…has kind of a ring to it no?
AN: Um, yeah…
Galinda and Elphaba's room
Galinda: Dearest, Darlingest Momsy and Popsicle...
Elphaba: Dear Frex, whom I hate and I don't even know why I'm writing to you since you don't like me that much either…
Galinda: I didn't get what I wanted!!!!
Elphaba: I have to share a room with The Barbie on Crack!!
Galinda: I heard that! I don't do crack, crack is wack!
AN: um Okay Whitney Houston
Galinda: My name is GALINDA! Oh OZ! What is the world coming to! The author doesn't know my name and I didn't get my way!!!!
Elphaba: Would you shut up and stop whining Barbie?
Galinda: No, you, you, you struggling to insult her gerrr well you're Green!
Elphaba:sarcastically Really, I didn't notice…..
Galinda: I, I ,-
Elphaba: What? Peroxide got your tongue? Or should I say hair?
Galinda: How dare you? I don't like you!
Elphaba: Yeah, well I LOATHE you!
Galinda: I-I-don't know what that means!
Elphaba: That's what happens when peroxide sinks into your skull!
Suddenly Galinda's Posse enters
Posse: singing Galinda you are just too good-,
Elphaba: Whoa! Where the hell did they come from?
Posse: Stops singing We were hiding in Galinda's closet. Contiues singing What did you ever do deserve this kind of torture? We just want to tell you, we're all on you're side! We will shun the green thing just please you! Sure we could get to know her and find out who the real bitch is, but then it would't give us plot, so we will shun her until you tells to stop!!! They freeze in place
Elphaba and Galinda: I'm gonna hate you forever!!
Elphaba: You're roots are showing.
Galinda: Ahh! Where's my peroxide!