A/N: back again. If only I could be this creative with my original stuff. Sigh. Anyway, second part of my little humour fest. (Still haven't gotten any better at it from last chapter. Lol) I hope you enjoy, if nothing else, just giggle at the idea of Edmund in a dress, because you have to admit, he would look really strange. Lol.
Enjoy
King VS Jack... or should that be Queen?
There was a long moment while the gathered men tried to reconcile the image Edmund presented in a dress, to that of Susan, who was admittedly a very beautiful young lady. Edmund, while not unhandsome for a boy, was hardly the prettiest when pretending to be a girl. Susan stepped forward, seeing her brother was becoming fidgety, and the last thing they needed was for him to make his wig fall off or anything else as drastic, which is what would probably happen.
"My sister does not appreciate your staring at her good sirs. It is rather impolite."
The men immediately began to apologise. "We are sorry Queen Susan, but we were merely thinking of what exquisite beauty must run in your family to produce two wonderful specimens such as yourselves."
Susan felt herself blush, and Edmund snorted, just a little, and hardly noticeable, but Susan still sent him a warning glare. He just gave her a look in return, wondering how she could possibly find this man charming.
"If you would like to lead the way, we'll follow you; we would like to speak to your king as soon as we can." Edmund said, remembering to force his voice just that bit higher than normal, he smiled politely, not liking this smooth talker at all. In his head he added. "So we can get out of here that much sooner."
The man smiled, what Edmund assumed was supposed to be a charming smile, judging from the way Susan smiled in return. His eyes narrowed a little. He would need to watch this. He waited until Susan was back inside the carriage before glancing round at the men suspiciously, not bothering to hide it. He itched to have his sword right now, but Lucy had handed over her precious knife, so that he was that bit more convincing, and a small vial of her potion, just in case it was needed.
She had given him such a look when she had given it to him, and warned him not to go around stabbing people with her knife that looked at him wrong. He would never do something like that. After all, the knife would hardly inspire any fear in some overzealous man who wanted his big sister, and if any man even tried it with him, well, stabbing would be the least of his worries. His bare hands could work just as well.
x
"Edmund!" Susan said sharply when they were on their way. "That was no way to speak to our welcoming party."
Edmund rolled his eyes. "He was a cad Su, don't go falling for him." He warned her.
"Oh Really Ed, is that all you think I do?" she asked him, annoyed at his behaviour. "He was a perfectly nice gentleman, and you didn't even let me get any of their names! How are we supposed to make a good impression if you insist on making a scene?"
Edmund slumped back, reaching up to fiddle with the unnaturally long hair now around his shoulders. "I didn't make a scene." He informed her.
Susan rolled her eyes. "I saw you glare at them Ed." She told him bluntly.
Edmund shrugged. "They were watching you get into the carriage, like you were some kind of show or something. I don't like them."
Susan sighed, exasperated. "That's because you are a boy Edmund. Men look at women all the time. When you're old enough you'll understand. I promise. I'll even get Peter to give you the 'Talk'." She said it so sincerely, but Edmund could easily see the wicked gleam in her eye, this was her way of getting him back for his perceived slight.
"O ha ha." He said dryly. "I still don't like it."
Susan sighed. "Just try to behave more like Lucy would you? If they know anything about us, they'll know she doesn't act the way you are, and we can't afford to just throw away this chance at an alliance. You know that Edmund." She studied him for a long moment. "You wanted to come, and you wanted to do it this way, so you're just going to have to follow my lead, ok?"
He heaved a sigh. "Fine, but if any of them do more than just talk to you I reserve the right to kick their arses."
"Edmund!" she reproved.
Edmund shrugged. "Still reserve the right to. Ok. So more like Lucy and less like me..." he sat still for a long time, eyes closed as he considered the changes he would have to make. He opened them again, took a long look out the window, gathering himself before turning back to Susan.
The transformation was astounding. One moment he was normal broody Edmund, and the next... It was definitely Lucy's smile, something the two youngest siblings shared, but Edmund rarely let himself go like that, not since he was very young, and his eyes shone with a happy light. "Oh Susan! Have you seen, everything's so very pretty here. Not nearly as pretty as home, the trees don't dance, and I don't suppose there are any talking animals here are there? What do you suppose this King is like? Aren't Peter and Edmund just so silly for worrying about us?" he actually giggled at the end, managing to sound remarkably like her as well, only his voice was that bit deeper no matter what he tried.
He changed again, leaning back and smirking. "Is that 'Lucy' enough for you?" he asked.
Susan shook her head, but couldn't stop the smile that spread over her face. "Really Ed."
"Uh uh, It's Lucy, remember." He corrected a slow smiled spreading over his face as well.
x
The reached the king's castle two days later, Edmund had managed, with surprisingly few slip ups, to act like Lucy. He let Susan do most of the talking, after all, this was her mission really, he was just here to act as backup should something go wrong, or if these people did turn out to be like they had been informed. This was why Edmund had decided to go pretending to be Lucy, because had he gone as himself then their behaviour would change accordingly to fit with an obviously protective brother.
He had managed to not glare at any of the men when they eyed his sister. He knew she was attractive, but honestly!
The castle was old, and big, they were led through long and winding corridors to the throne room. Compared to Cair Paravel, where everything was so open and airy, this place was practically claustrophobic. Edmund had a hard time not pulling on the high collar of the dress he was wearing. And remembering to walk the way Susan had shown him was hard. But he managed, mostly because she had threatened to make him wear heeled shoes if he couldn't do it in flat ones.
They weren't even high heels, but they were painful.
Edmund decided he would never understand girls. Ever.
The King welcomed them graciously, and of course offered them dinner, as it was getting rather close to then. Susan spoke to him for a short time, Edmund half listened, but occupied himself more with looking around the room, so he was taken by surprise when he turned back, thinking he heard someone say 'Lucy', and found himself staring at the King, who stood about two heads taller than him.
The King looked somewhat concerned, and Edmund was horrified to find he had flushed slightly. He could see Susan give him an exasperated look.
"Are you quite all right Lady Lucy?" the King asked. "We had called you several times."
Edmund thought furiously for a suitable response. "Well, I am simply tired from the long journey. I do apologise Sir, Trinnian." He said, for once not having to force his voice higher. It was horrible this sudden nervousness. He blamed it on the fact that the King was standing far to close to him, and was looking at him, studying him.
Edmund was suddenly afraid he could see through his admittedly slim disguise.
"Perhaps you would like to freshen up and rest before dinner?" King Trinnian suggested, not taking his eyes off Edmund.
Susan watched, and Edmund didn't like the small smile that was growing on her face. "That would be most pleasant Sir." She answered.
"You shall join me for dinner, yes?" the king asked, though from the way he was still looking at Edmund, the question was obviously directed at him.
Edmund was at a total loss. What on earth would Lucy say in this situation? Thankfully Susan saved him.
"We shall indeed be there."
King Trinnian called a servant to take them to a set of joined rooms they would share.
x
"It's not funny Su." Edmund complained, glaring at his sister in the mirror as she fussed with his wig, she was smiling widely at him, and it was obvious that while he did not find this amusing, she most certainly did.
"Oh Ed, isn't this the best way to find out if they are like the letters say?" she asked him, sounding completely reasonable. "I mean, isn't it better it's you and not the real Lucy?"
Ed slumped a little, sullenly; he muttered something but didn't actually say anything loud enough to hear, though he knew Susan had interpreted it the way she wanted, making one final adjustment to the wig.
"There, now you'll look just lovely. I'm sure you'll get many compliments." She told him.
"Su!" he cried, annoyed. "This isn't funny! Why did he decide he liked me? I mean, I don't even look like a roper girl, let alone a pretty one. This is ridiculous! And surely he knows Lucy is only fourteen, I mean, he's what? Forty? How could he possibly think this is ok?"
Susan giggled a little at that, loving that her little brother was so uncomfortable. "He's only twenty six Ed, and beside's. Your not really Lucy are you. And maybe he likes boyish looking girls." She teased.
"Su!" he tried again, but she wasn't listening to him.
"Now you just behave, and don't do anything to mess this up ok. Just ac like Lucy, and you should be fine." Susa said tutting a little and straightening the dress.
Edmund let out a frustrated sigh and muttered. "I bet Lucy would have kicked him in the shins."
Susan looked at him, and smiled. "No, she wouldn't have, she would put up with his misplaced affection for the good of an alliance."
Edmund glared at her again, hating that she was right, and that she was going to actually make him behave. "You had better hope misplace affection is all it is." He warned.
Susan shook her head to hide her smile. "Don't worry little sister, I'll look after you." She turned away, leaving him spluttering for a moment too long to answer her. "Now, we have a dinner to get to. Come along."
Edmund gathered up the cumbersome skirts and followed, muttering. "I'd better not have to sit next to him!" Of course Susan just laughed, but Edmund meant it.
Told you my humour hasn't gotten better. It's really late now, but I just wanted to finish this chapter and post it. So it's rather choppy. I may fix it up at a later date. Please review.