A.n. Hello everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving and if you went shopping over the last couple of days I hope you had fun, i know i did! Thanks for everyone who had read, replied or put this story on their alert list, it really means a lot to me. As always I hope you enjoy this chapter.

xoxo

queena

Chapter 2: Heartfelt lies

im trying hard to pretend

it wont happen again

and again like that

After my big fight with Damon I had every intention on letting him go and moving forward with my life. I hadn't anticipated falling right back into things with Damon, but there was something about him that wouldn't let me run away even if I wanted to. He was standing in my face finally fighting for the two of us, fighting for me and although I knew this was all to pacify me, I couldn't let him go. I had fallen for him, hard very hard and even though I knew that the end result would most likely crush me, I couldn't let him go. I loved him- god I loved him, it was the kind of love that was consuming the type that made you feel like you couldn't breathe whenever the person was near you and when you were apart all you wanted to do was rush to be at their side.

I wasn't naive enough to think that what we had could ever take the place of Katherine or Elena all I knew was that when we were together we fit. Damon had once given the analogy of a drug addict and I had to agree we were dependent on each other and probably highly addicted that was why it was so hard to let go because sometimes it was like we needed each other to function properly.

"Bonnie, so nice to finally see you I'm glad you're finally coming up for air." Caroline cooed in her mock pissed but slightly proud voice.

I rolled my eyes. "It hasn't been that long." I dead panned. "I spoke to you yesterday." I reminded her.

"Yes, but you've been shacking up at the Salvatore manor doing god knows what." She said with an eye roll. "You do realize that you and Damon are the definition of dysfunctional unhealthy relationships." Caroline pointed out.

"Thank you very much have you been watching Dr. Phil again?" I asked a smile on my lips.

"Are you avoiding the situation again?" she posed a manicured brow lifted. Shrugging her shoulder, she spoke. "I'm just saying. He's probably got you to swap blood and everything" she mused while looking through a magazine. Dropping the magazine at the mere silence of her best friend, she spoke. "Seriously B! You've shared blood?" Caroline asked scandalized.

Subconsciously I tugged my long hair in front of my exposed neck. "Okay, we are not getting into this in public" I whispered looking around to spot Matt at the bar. The last thing I wanted to do was get into it with my vampire friend about my vampire boyfriend whom I had shared blood with, in the heat of the moment. It was bad enough, I got a lecture from Stefan about what kind of bond forms between a vampire and whomever he's shared blood with. Just thinking about it made me shudder.

"Ok, I may be a newbie but, even I know that- that is not a good thing." Caroline continues bringing her voice down to whisper.

I rolled my eyes I didn't need to hear about how bad Damon was for me, I had known that all along. It was why I had kept my distance from him in the past, I knew that we were going to end up here and it scared the hell out of me.

"Next topic please." I said exasperated but the mere thought of the train wreck that was Damon and I. I didn't want to have to defend myself or my relationship. I just wanted to hang out with my friend and catch up without talking about boys and bad guys that were trying to kill us.

"Ok," Caroline exclaimed her eyes dancing. "Lets talk about the reason you didn't dump his sorry ass after that stunt he pulled with Elena?" Caroline questioned a brow raised.

I nearly choked on my hot chocolate at the utter disdain that not only crossed her features but the venom that was laced with every word she uttered. The night I had decided to end things with Damon, I had called Caroline a crying mess and like a true friend, she had offered to come over and beat his ass if needed. "We made up." I said shrugging my shoulder nonchalantly as if that night hadn't hurt me. It still stung, one week later and I still trying to get over it.

Nodding she reached for her tea before speaking. "It must have been one hell of a make up because I've barley seen you and when I do your wearing a scarf to cover your neck." She pointed out a grin tugging on her lips.

I looked down at my ensemble. Today I chose to wear an oversized grey sweater that hung off my shoulder, a grey and black newsboy cap, pink scarf and light blue skinny jeans with black booties. It didn't scream. Hey I've spent a week in bed with my vampire boyfriend. Or at least I hoped it didn't.

A grin tugged at the corner of my lips. Damon and I had spent the week making up and I had never felt closer to him. We had lye in the bed late at night talking and early in the morning instead of rushing to leave the house we'd lye in bed content being near each other. "I don't know what your talking about." I lied feeling the blush creep to my cheeks.

"Sure you don't, is that why you look like you've been thoroughly screwed."

"Caroline" I chastised shocked that she would even bring up the sex. It was bad enough Stefan could not only hear everything but he could smell everything as well.

Winking she spoke. "I'm just saying." Leaning forward, she reached for my hand. " B, Im really glad that you're happy, I just want you to be careful Damon is dangerous" she said meeting my eyes. "And now he has your heart."

I squeezed her hand as a faint smile formed on my lips. "You can't help who you love Caroline, and I love him." I admitted honestly. " I know he's not perfect but the last week it's been a dream, he's been patient and caring and I know you never get to see the softer side of him- but it's beautiful...he's beautiful." I whispered tearing my eyes away from my friend.

Sitting back in the chair, she spoke. "Have you thought about what is going to happen when Elena comes back from her vacation?" she asked causing me to gasp. Elena was the elephant in the room, she had gone on her vacation with Ric and Jeremy and though I missed her- my relationship with Damon had gotten better with her absence and that made me feel like a horrible friend.

I didn't have a chance to answer her question, Stefan had soon shown up with his perfect time and it made me love my bff even more. He was right on time to save me from the impending doom this conversation was headed. I didn't know what would happen once Elena came home, and truthfully I didn't want to think about it either. I just wanted to stay in my happy bubble and be happy for once.

DS-DS

Damon

cause you made me happy baby love is crazy

He felt like a caged animal that was itching to break free. His body felt like it had been electrified, and he was itching to touch her butterscotch skin. They had spent nearly a week coped up in his bedroom in a self induced haze that had consisted of much skin to skin contact as possible. God he couldn't get enough of her- the way her green eyes lit up with specks of yellow when she was close, the way she smelled...hmm gardenias. Whenever he smelled the delicious scent, he thought of her. And most of all the way she looked at him like he was the best and worst thing that could ever happen to her.

It had only been a couple of hours and he was already missing her. Being coped up for one week had him love drunk and he wanted more, he needed more. Everything seemed much more intense since they had been sharing blood, this morning was his last hit of her body...and her blood and he felt like he was going insane. All he could hear were her moans of breathy moans of pleasure, all he could see was her butterscotch coated skin and all he wanted was her. Today was his birthday and he was going to rip her from blondie and teach her a lesson about leaving him, she'd never leave his side again and he'd remind her why they stayed locked in his bedroom for so long.

It had been a long time since he felt like this..in fact he felt the feeling had been so foreign to him that it scared him. Happiness was something that he had always wanted but he had never been able to achieve. And for the first time it appeared that he was happy. Elena was safe with Ric and the bad guys had apparently taken a much needed vacation. And then there was Bonnie, she was a big part of the reason he had been in such a good mood. The thought of her made a distant feeling come over him something like fluttering in the stomach and it made him want her even more to capture that moment and hold onto it.

Grabbing his leather jacket he headed for the door swinging the door open with such force he thought it might break, the pull to be near her was too strong, he wanted to touch her skin to feel her moving beneath him...around him..on top of him. He just wanted her close. Swinging open the door he stopped dead in his tracks at the girl standing in front of him. Elena gilbert had recently gone on a vacation with her vamp fighting father figure and waste of space, brother and now she was standing before him with big brown eyes and a smile that had radiated so much light that it had him forgetting the reason for leaving the manor in the first place.

"Surprised?" she asked while throwing her arms around him in a hug.

"Very" he says enjoying the way she feels against his skin. It had been too long since he'd seen her and if it were possible she had gotten even more beautiful in her week vacation. He knew he was being a traitor and for the first time understood what Katherine the bitch felt because one look at Elena and it was like he was back to being the same love sick fool that had chased her for so long.

"Happy Birthday" she exclaims removing her arms from around him. "I bought you a good luck plant!" she boosts a toothy grin on her face.

For a moment he is silent as he watches her movements he's never seen Elena Gilbert so carefree. He had never seen Elena so happy, so full of life well except when she was with Stefan and even then she had her gloomy days. He blamed it on Mystic falls and the fact that when Elena was involved you wither wanted to kill her or in his case screw her.

Clearing his throat he took the tiny plant out of her hands and set it down. "Just what I need a plant." He says pretending as if her gift was not precious. He'd take care of that damn plant for the rest of his undead life.

"Stop it" she says rolling her eyes. "We all need a little good luck and you my friend need a lot." She said walking further into the house, noticing that Stefan was nowhere to be found. Turning around she faced him. "Besides it's the thought that counts right?" she asked grinning again.

His undead heart warmed at the mention of thinking of him and that had him giddy as a school boy. "How about we make a toast to me?" he suggested while grabbing a bottle of whisky and filling two glasses one for him the other for her.

She debated for a moment. "Fine, one drink." She said taking the glass from his outstretched hand. "Happy Birthday Damon, may all your dreams come true."

He smirked and with a clink of glass his birthday celebration started.

It was electric the moment they crossed paths

actively attracted but attempt to walk past

Twenty minutes they are all over each other...the alcohol giving them wings when they never needed to fly. He's unsure who started it but he knows that it'll be finished tonight.

The moment he felt her warm lips touch his- he knew that he was a goner. Here was a newly single Elena Gilbert in front of him with big brown eyes begging to be saved from whatever was plaguing her. She was lost that much he could tell and he wanted to help her find her way. Whatever she needed he would willingly give and for the first time it seemed that what she needed was him. Elena Gilbert had finally needed...wanted him.

Bang, Bang,

Kiss, Kiss

You & I got to put

end to this

He had never felt more clumsy as he walked her back to his bed. Every movement every touch caused him to melt under her touch as he basked in the glory of having her in his arms. Elena was everything he had ever wanted, loyal, smart and beautiful and she was offering herself up to him as the perfect present. Even the strongest man wouldn't be able to resist. So he kissed her hard, he kissed her with everything he had and she had given it back full force. She wanted this, she wanted him and he wanted her. Finally he was going to get the girl.

Stop, breathe, count to 3

is she worth it

Words are not spoken and he's sure it's because break the enchanted spell that has the two of them itching for skin to skin contact. It was always a possibility the two of them, he was in love with her and she was attracted to him, they were meant to do this- meant to give it a try. So he ignores the smell of gardenias the run through his senses. He ignores the thought of a broken hearted girl and he ignores feeling as if he is the scum of the earth.

BB-DS-SS-EG-

After a quick change into something that was more suitable for a birthday party Stefan and I soon arrive back to the Salvatore mansion. It had been a long time since anyone within our immediate group of friends had been given a reason to really celebrate and I wanted to celebrate with two of the most important people in the world to me. Together we were celebrating Damons birthday and the mere fact that the guys were finally healing old wounds. It seemed that once Elena was out of the picture the guys were trying harder to brothers because their was nothing left to fight over.

"Do you think he'll like it?" I asked gesturing to the balloons and such. "I mean I did promise something different this year," I rattled on out of nervousness, only to stop once I noticed Stefan was grinning my way.

"Relax Bons" Stefan says immediately calming me down. "He'll love it because this is all from you...You're more important to him, then even you know." He said giving her a reassuring smile.

My teeth gnaw at my bottom lip because if one thing is true, it's that I've fallen for Damon Salvatore and I wanted him to know how much I loved him, without saying the words. "I hope so" pause. "I love him" I say, giving Stefan a small smile. "And I almost told him this morning, but I chickened out." I say finally meeting his eyes.

I let out a shaky breath my nerves were shot and I had come to conclusion that they were shot because I had finally admitted to someone beside myself that I loved Damon. And Stefan was the perfect person to tell all my secrets to because he understood me, more then anyone...sometimes more then Damon. And that was why the three of us were such a good team.

Soon Stefan has his arm wrapped around me affectionately. "My brother is very lucky to have you Bons, you've saved him from his inner demons and you love him with all your heart." He said pausing. "You're everything he's ever wanted." He smiles.

I grin back at Stefan nudging our foreheads together. "Thanks Stefan." I say, tugging him inside.

The first thing we hear is the sound of shattering glass-which was not unusual seeming that Damon had an avidity of breaking glass whenever the mood suited him. I tossed a look in the direction of Stefan who rolled his eyes in reply. Approaching the sitting room yet another sound of shattering glass nearly startled me, followed by a loud thump and finally a drawn out moan. A moan belonging to a woman.

Stefan was suddenly breezing in front of me as if to halt my movements. Everything seemed so loud. I could hear everything. The sound of heavy breathing and loud breathy moans filled my ears, causing my hands to shake. In an instant our eyes lock both knowing good and well what's going on behind closed doors. Stefan pleads with me silently before using his mouth to do so.

"Bonnie," Stefan pleads knowing that the moment she opens the door her heart will be shattered as well. Bonnie had been the best thing to happen to Damon and in true Damon like fashion he had a feeling his brother would destroy everything without even meaning to. He knew his brother well enough to know that Damon was waiting for the bottom to fall out from underneath him. And sometimes it was easier to give up and give into temptation and Damon had been tempted.

"Maybe we're wrong?" I say the words tasting bitter "Maybe he's in trouble and he needs us," I further lament. Fear crept up inside of me because I had a feeling this was the end. "Either way, I need to know the truth." I say suddenly breaking free of his strong hold.

Pushing open the door I revealed two people. Two people who were engrossed in each other as they shared a deep kiss, two people one being Damon and the other being Elena.

"Bonnie!" Elena gasps catching sight of her friend in the midst of her obvious betrayal with Damon."This isn't what it looks like" she exclaims taking a step back from a very shirtless Damon.

I narrowed my eyes her way feeling the heat radiate off me. " So you're telling me you weren't about to have sex with my boyfriend? I asked sarcastically. "Or did you already do it?" I asked chancing a look over In the direction of Damon who wouldn't look my way.

Turning around I notice the look that crosses the face of my best friend, he looks like someone has driven a stake through his heart. And suddenly im crying because in the back of my mind I knew this would one day happen but I never imagined I would take my bestfriend down with me. Together the two of us hug as if we are hanging on for dear life. Stefan looks as pained and betrayed as I feel and I can only imagine the way I look in this very moment. Blindly I reach for as pain literally rips through my body. I've never had a broken heart before and it feels like someone had snatched my heart out of my chest.

"Bonnie...Bonnie I can explain." Elena says her big brown eyes filled with tears. We were drunk, celebrating his birthday and one thing led to another." She cried while buttoning her shirt. "I never meant to hurt you...you're my sister" she cried before looking over to Stefan. "Stefan, you believe you know I would never hurt you guys. I love you two- you're the most important thing to me."

I licked my dry lips. 'Did you sleep with him?" I asked quietly.

She let out a gasp before speaking. "No...no we didn't. We would never do that to you."

I blinked back a few tears before speaking in a low whisper. "I don't believe you. 'I admitted, feeling sick to my stomach. One of the hardest things was knowing that I couldn't trust someone that I had viewed as a sister. Elena may not have wanted to admit it but she was just like Katherine, she wanted both Damon and Stefan and she would probably have both. She gravitated toward both Salvatore brothers and I would no longer pretend that it was okay because this was my sister.

"We got carried away...that it. Bonnie, if I could take it back, I would." She declared while taking steps closer to me.

"You can't!' I screamed back at her. "He meant everything to me..." I declared sadly. I wanted to say more but I feared that I would fall apart and I didn't want to do that, especially in front of Damon or Elena, neither deserved a damn thing from me nor Stefan.

The sound of clapping caused me to stop my emotional rant. I wasn't in the mood to deal with bad guys attempting to kill us right now because if someone was going to hurt it was going to be anyone who dared to mess with me at this point in time.

"Oh, don't stop on my account" Katherine cooed whilst putting an arm around Stefan and grinning over at me.

"Katherine" Stefan sighed unable to hide his content for the female vamp.

'Stefan." Katherine grinned twirling a lock of her curly hair "Bonnie!" she winked my way.

The sound of an annoyed gasp caused me to turn my attention to my ex friend who had the nerve to let out a smart remark. "Last time I checked you were no longer welcomed in this house." Elena said causing me to give her a dirty look whilst Katherine laughed in her face.

Whirling around I faced my former friend and smirked firmly planted on my lips. "Wow! One time and you're already staking claim of the house." I sneered causing her brown eyes to go wide. "What's the matter Elena?" I asked walking closer to her. "Afraid you were just the girl with her face?" I asked smirking in her face as she all but runs back to the side of her dark knight.

He had been silent for so long. It was due to the look of pure hurt that had been on her face. He had seen her hurt so many times, but this was something else. 'That's enough!" he yelled causing everyone to stare forward. Stefan had approached Bonnie yet again and began to rub circles along her back and he couldn't help but let out a growl at the sight. He had no right to be jealous but seeing the way Bonnie had quickly began to relax under the touch of his brother had caused his body to run hot with jealousy "You're mad at me, leave Elena alone" he says his voice coming out harsher then he expected because her vibrant green eyes had turned a shade darker.

"Look at you coming to her rescue like a perfect boyfriend." I said walking over to him. "You two are perfect for each other, you can whine about never being loved and she can whine about being loved too much. "I said biting my lip.

Realizing this was his chance to stop this epic train wreck he spoke up. "Elena is telling the truth- all we did was kiss." he said.

I let out a scuff and crossed my arms in front of my chest defensively. "Why would I ever believe you?" I asked squaring my shoulders as I turned to face him.

He walked over to the bar needing something to calm his suddenly jittery nerves. Bonnie had fire in her eyes and he knew one wrong move could send her over the edge and with Katherine fanning the fire. 'Because it's the truth."

I didnt want it this way

I only wanted to say

I loved you right

I wanted to point out that they were both losing clothes that Elena's perfectly straight hair was a mess probably from him running his hands through it but that didn't matter, if it did happen or didn't happen was no longer a factor. What was done wether that be a kiss or more was done and so was I.

I bit my lip again and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. 'But you thought about it right?" I asked knowing the answer already. I just wanted to hear it from him. "If Stefan and I hadn't walked in would you have taken her to bed?' I asked causing him shift his blue eyes my way.

I watched as he placed both of his palms on the bar before turning my way. "Bon..."He let out a sigh and looked down. The look on her face sent chills down his spine. He knew that look it was the same look he had given Katherine when she had broken his heart. Now he had done so to someone who had given him everything. He could practically hear the sound of her broken heart falling to the ground and he couldn't do anything to help her because he was the one that broke it in the first place. "We got carried away...that's it." He stammered out feeling the heat of her stare.

"Ok" I said letting out a huff of air. "Answer this one question and I'll end the interrogation." I voiced causing his blue eyes to meet mine. "If Stefan and I hadn't walked in here, would you have had sex with her?" I asked raising my eyebrow up at him. This was his chance to be honest with me because he had lied for so long.

"Say it" I nearly screamed his way. "Tell me" I screamed again this time marching over to him and slapping his precious whisky bottle to the floor. My anger exploded as yet another bottle of whisky had exploded shattering to the floor. I looked down at my bleeding hand and closed my eyes willing myself to heal the wound.

He sucked his teeth before speaking. "I don't know!" he yelled back resisting the urge to come clean because if he did he'd lose her and he couldn't lose her

"Yes you do." I say quietly. "And so does everyone else. So why don't you just admit it so we all know where you stand Damon!" I raged again.

Feel the fire cause

its all around

burning up forever and always

Although he knew, everyone could hear his words including his ex girlfriend Katherine who only loved his brother Stefan, which happened to be his current girlfriends bestfriend and Elena the girl who was caught between it all- he still needed to get closer to Bonnie.

"Don't do this Bonnie. Not here, not now." He pleaded, gaining a stony look in his direction. "I could lie to you and say that I would turn Elena away but the truth is- I couldn't, not even for you." He admitted feeling worst then the scum of the earth. He had done some shitty things over the years but nothing like this. He couldn't turn Elena away because if he did then he'd continue to hurt Bonnie, he had to at least kiss Elena to know if what he was feeling was real or if it was all in his head. He wanted to feel it, the way he felt it when he had first kissed Bonnie. That way he'd know the truth.

His words hit me harder then I expected. Although I knew, the answer all along hearing them hurts...so much more. And I find myself in the arms of my bestfriend. "Take me home Stefan...please take me home." I cry, as sobs threaten to escape my mouth.

You shot the bullet

you shot the bullet that killed me

not feeling my heart beat and now its dying

Suddenly I find myself ripped from his clutches and starring down at a teeth baring Damon. Before I can react, Stefan is in front of me shielding me from her venom. His back is rigid as he squares off with his constant companion...his brother.

"You're not going anywhere with her. "Damon growls causing me to lock eyes with his. How dare he act as if we have something to talk about. He had made his choice and now I wanted nothing to do with him.

"Touch her and I'll kill you" Stefan seethes causing me to touch his shoulder. I had never heard Stefan speak so deadly in the time that I've known him and for a moment I'm afraid of what he will do next. His eyes are wide as they dart between Elena, and Damon as if he is begging for one of them to make one wrong move so that he could ease my pain...his pain...our pain.

Katherine cackles throwing an amused look at Damon before speaking."Someone has competition on the protection of the Bennett witch."

I watch as the two of them fight which has probably been a long time coming but I refuse to let this happen in front of him. As much as I would love to see Stefan tear Damon to pieces, I knew that the two of them fighting would hurt them in the end and I didn't want that. With a blink of an eye I cause an ear pitching scream to erupt causing the two vampires to stop fighting. I watch as Elena rushes to check on Damon while Stefan is now as my side and I erupt.

Soon I felt my skin heat up as my blood literally boiled, I felt pain as if someone had hit me with all the force in the world and the only thing I wanted to do, was share that pain with the person who had caused it. Without much of a warning I let out everything that was boiling up inside of me loose. I focused all of my energy his way, channeling all of the power that was bestowed onto me, in sharing the pain that Damon had brought not just to me but to all of his victims. I watched as he fell to the floor clawing at his chest as if that would stop the pain.

Damon screamed as he held onto his head. "BONNIE, BONS" he grunted out in pain as tears fell from his eyes. I could see the pain in his eyes and it was then that he knew what I had felt upon finding him, with her. Our eyes met and I soon began to cry. It wasn't supposed to be like this, never did I think it would hurt like this. With all my might I concentrated on the person that was giving me the most pain before I felt the cool hand of my bestfriend. Stefan had wrapped his arm around me spinning me around to face him. As his hands came to cup my face I felt tears running down .

"Bonnie, you have to stop you'll kill him." Stefan calls shaking me out of my staring contest with Damon, as he wiped my tears. "Bons, he's not worth it." Stefan says and in that moment it all clicks together. Damon didn't just hurt me. He hurt his brother to and all in the name of love. Damon didn't love me and he sure as hell didn't love Stefan, in fact I was sure he only loved himself. Once Stefan words finally registered in my head I quickly turned to face him as he hugged me. Pulling away from him I made it to the door just as blue eyes bore into me.

"Please just-just forget about everyone else and focus on me, listen to me" he pleads, blue eyes wide as saucers. His voice shakes as do his hands as he tried to hold me in place, fear evident on his face. "You never gave me a chance to finish." He pleads

cause the wall burnt up

and our love fell down

I shook my head. "I don't want to hear your explanations. It's obvious what happened. You couldn't fight it any longer!" I yelled. "Katharine and Elena will always be between us no matter what I do I will never be enough for you." I said yanking myself out of his grasp. I wouldn't use magic to hurt him because I wanted my words to last longer. 'This isn't your fault Damon, its mine..." I said pausing. "I knew who you were... it was my mistake thinking you could have been anything more then a pussy whipped, bastard." I said causing his blue eyes to bleed black.

Burning up forever and always

And then he grabs me and before I can even think of a spell to render him a whimpering mess he's taken me away from Elena, Stefan, and Katherine and we're left alone.

Song credit: I in Lie by Patrick stump and Disaster by Jojo