A/N: I probably should point out real quick that different chapters will be of different lengths (so expect drabbles right along with a 1,000+ chapters), as well that, unless stated otherwise, none of these chapters connect. I'm only combining them into this one multi-chaptered fic because of any possible vast differences in length between the chapters and of course, they are part of one overall theme (angst). Also, I really wanted to use the title '30 Angst Bunnies'. ._.;;
Extra notes: This chapter made me cry. A lot. I'm a bit of a softy, I'll admit, but I rarely write stuff that makes me cry. So read the warnings below before proceeding. (Warnings will appear whenever I see a need for them.) Also, 'Ich liebe dich' means 'I love you' in German.
Characters: Momiji, Momiji's mother
Prompt: #21 - Lost memories
Genres/Warnings: Gen fic. Heavy angst involving thoughts of death, hate, and loss. Drabble.
Word count: 360
Summary: Momiji's mother loved him, really she did. But it's so hard to love someone who you can't hug.
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Lost Memories
Momiji had been very young when his mother had tried to raise him. She was a beautiful and loving person who was always kind to him. He didn't know until later, how she would break down in tears after he had fallen asleep at night. How she thought of her son as a monstrosity and wondered if it would be better to kill the small boy. Momiji hadn't known how many times his life had almost been ended by his mother's hands. If he hadn't been such a bright and adorable child, the guilt might have been lessen somehow. As it was, when Momiji's large brown eyes turned to his mother, the guilt of her thoughts crashed down on her and she would hug herself to keep from hugging him and repeating her cycle of hatred for him.
Momiji loved his mother greatly, even after he had learned all these terrible things about that she had thought about. He understood her fear, especially once he overheard her pleas to forget and her reasons why.
That final night before her memories were erased, Momiji's mother tucked him into bed and kissed him goodnight for the last time; her face a mask of carefully hidden grief and lies. Her eyes were tired and dull as she forced herself to smile. She was sick with her grief and her decision. If Momiji hadn't been born a Sohma, she wouldn't have this problem, she thought to herself for the hundredth time.
The blond haired child placed his pudgy little hand on his mother's, squeezing it gently. All the while trying to keep up his own facade so his mother wouldn't know that he was acknowledging her decision. He smiled bright and honest at his mother.
"Ich liebe dich, mama." He said, because he needed his mother to know it, even if she wouldn't remember it come tomorrow night. This was his last chance to let his mother know that he would be okay and that he would always love her.
Even though he was going to be alone.
Even though his mother wouldn't remember him as her child.
Even though he would always remember.
-End-