Remus POV
As soon as we were back in the common room I slumped onto the couch parallel to to fireplace. I noticed Sirius was staring at me, rather unsubtly, from his perch on the window sill. James was sitting next to me. Peter had run off somewhere. All I wanted to do was sleep.
"James am I allowed to sleep now?" I muttered.
James shifted his body so he was facing me. He sighed. "Moony. You don't have to ask, ever. If you need to sleep, just sleep."
Then a scoff came from the window. Both me and James turn around, seeking an explanation for the rather rude reaction.
"Sirius. Care to explain the scoff?" James questioned.
"No. James you keep playing mommy while I get kept in the dark, about actually important things. Like, oh I don't know, the fact that this happens on an apparently regular basis and THIS is the first time I've heard of it!" He started to raise his voice. I saw out of the corner of my eye James visibly flinchingevery time he said a word louder. "Did you ever stop and think that maybe I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF? No...of course neither of you did. And I'm judging by Peter's reaction he didn't know up until now either. DID HE?!"
I could feel a mixture of anger and guilt boil up inside of me. I clenched my fists trying to keep Moony down. "Pads. Shut up." I almost whisper. Now was not the time. Not this close to the full moon. Not after a seizure. Not when I'm tired. The last thing I wanted was to lose it. And that's where this was headed.
"NO! I DONT THINK I WILL REMUS!" He screamed. I stood up. James followed suit. "Im so SICK AND TIRED OF BEING IN THE DARK! Why? For what?" Sirius was so blind with rage that he didn't realize that I had crossed over to him.
James was holding my arm, quietly reassuring me that Sirius didn't mean any of it. I ripped my arm away from James and grabbed Sirius by the collar of his robes and slammed his back into the wall. Sirius gasped for air as I towered over him.
"You know what, Sirius? You have no right! You know how James found out? It happened in front of him! You found out the same bloody way! I DIDNT WANT YOU TO GET INVOLVED IN ANY OF THIS! YOU BEGGED ME TO LET YOU HELP ME! THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO HELP! YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE PAIN IM IN RIGHT NOW AND HOW MUCH PHYSICAL RESTRAINT IT TAKES TO NOT SNAP YOUR BLODDY NECK YOU SON OF A..."
"Remus. Enough." James grabbed my shoulder. It wasn't till he dragged me back did I realize how terrified Siri looked. His eyes were filled with unshed tears, his hands trying to break my hands from his collar, and his face extremely pale. "Rem! Let him go! This isn't you!" James shouted.
I dropped my hands and James pulled me back several feet, away from Sirius. "S-Siri. I-im sorry." James had hold of my shoulder, keeping me from running. What have I done! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? WHY?
I covered my mouth with my hands and sank to the ground. James wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He nodded to Sirius, which seemed to have meant 'go on'. Sirius obeyed and ran, no, sprinted back up to the dorms."Why'd it have to be me?" I said in between sobs.
"I know Moony. I know" he comforted. We were leaned up against the wall, me in his arms sobbing.