Chapter 2

Simon held Kaylee tighter as he thought back over that day. Just like he did every morning he took a breath and opened his eyes. He let his breath out in a disappointed hiss when all he saw was darkness. He wondered if there would ever be a day when he would just wake up and get out of bed without thinking about his blindness. Would there ever be a day when he didn't hold his breath in anticipation hoping that by some miracle that would be the day that he would open his eyes to find that he could see again. At least now he had begun to adjust to his disability, the first few months after his accident had been hellish.

"Ow Gorram it!" Simon yelled and held his throbbing shin in his hand.

"Simon are you ok?" Kaylee of course. Simon sighed, he loved Kaylee so much, but in the month since he'd been blinded she was with him almost constantly. She followed him around making sure he didn't bump into things and when she wasn't with him she was watching him.

"I'm fine Kaylee I just hit my shin on something." Simon replied sounding more irritated than he meant to. He knew that he had been short and mean to everyone on board since he had been hurt. It was just so frustrating all the time, walking into things, having to ask for help for simple tasks, needing people to do things for him, and not being able to be a doctor. He felt useless now, he didn't have a job anymore, couldn't help out his friends when they were hurt. Sometimes it made him just want to fall to his knees and scream until his voice gave out.

Everyone on the ship was being kind about his attitude, even Jayne, and this somehow irritated Simon more. He couldn't see, but that didn't make him helpless, he wasn't some fragile thing that was going to break. Simon heard the familiar ring of Kaylees' boots as she hurried over to him.

"Oh Simon you're shin is bleeding. Come on lets go to the infirmary and put a weave on it ok." Kaylee soothed as she grabbed his hand and tried to lead him to the infirmary.

"Kaylee its not that big of a ship, I can make it to the infirmary without you leading me there like a child." Simon snapped. He heard the slight intake of breath from Kaylee and knew that he had hurt her feelings, again. It seemed like all he did lately was look like an idiot and snap at the people who loved him. Simon reached out his hand for Kaylee and managed to find her shoulder. He pulled her to him and embraced her.

"I'm sorry bao-bei, I didn't mean to snap at you. Its just, well my shin hurts and its frustrating knowing I hurt myself just by walking into something, I don't even know what it was."

"Jayne's weight bench, that's what you hit." Kaylee said her voice slightly muffled because she was still pressed into his shoulder. It only took a few seconds before Kaylee forgave him and returned his hug, holding him tightly, like she was hoping she could make things better if she just held on tight enough.

"Damn I thought I was getting a lot better at knowing where things are on the ship. Can't believe I walked into the weight bench." Simon replied trying to make his frustration seem lighter than it was.

"It got moved, it's not where it usually is. That's why you hit it." Kaylee comforted trying to make him feel better. They had reached the infirmary by then and Kaylee washed out the cut on his leg then applied a bandage. She then hopped up onto the table next to Simon and held his hand.

"Simon I know things are bad for you right now, but its gonna get easier. Everyone on the ship is here for ya. We'll get through this, I'm always gonna be here, you know that right?" Kaylee said and laid her head on Simon's shoulder.

"I know Kaylee. I just…well you shouldn't have to be with some blind guy who needs you to take care of him. You deserve better than that. If you think this is too much, I won't blame you for not wanting to be with me. Really I won't be upset, I want you to have the best."

It was right about then that Kaylee slapped him across the face.

"Simon Tam how can you even say that to me?! I love you and I ain't goin nowhere. Is this your way of sayin you don't want to be with me? Cause if you don't you better just grow a ruttin pair and tell me straight!" Simon sat shocked for only a second before he burst out laughing.

"Damn Kaylee that's the first time since this go-se happened that you talked to me like a normal guy. You have no idea how good that felt!" He laughed again and then moved his hand to Kaylee's face. He brushed his fingers gently over her cheeks and the adorable tip of her nose. She was so clear in his mind right then that it was almost like he could see her again. He pulled her over and began to kiss her deeply. Kaylee was so shocked by the sudden turn around in Simon that for a second she couldn't even kiss him back. Their kisses became longer and deeper and soon both of them had removed their shirts. Kaylee pushed herself away from Simon suddenly and sat up.

"Simon maybe we should go to your bunk, someone could see us here in the infirmary."

Simon sat up and pretended to look around the room, "Well I don't see anybody, I think we're safe." Kaylee burst out laughing and then stopped herself, she wasn't sure if his blindness was something to be laughing at.

"Hey Kaylee its ok. I mean I'm going to be like this forever so lets just stop worrying about the fact that I can't see ok?" Simon said and pulled her back down on top of him to resume their previous activities. It was the first time they had made love since he'd lost his sight and for Simon it was a turning point. The day he accepted the fact that this was what his life would be from now on.