Once Upon a Drug Trip Chapter 2: NOT THE CURTAINS YASHAMARU!, a naruto fanfic

Well, here's chapter two of my crackfic.

and just a warning...this chapter's not very long.

I've been having some writer's block about the hallucinations. haha.

anyways...

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto. I just own the plot of this story, a Happy Bunny poster, and a glass rose.

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Once Upon a Drug Trip – Ch. 2

The leaf and sand-nins watched in horror as Gaara's giggling turned into laughter, uncontrollable, maniac, laughter. Everyone was afraid Shukaku was going to come out, until Gaara pointed to Kiba.

"I seen a bunny like you! It rode a unicycle! I like bunnies! Can I pet you, Mr. Bunny?" Kiba went wide eyed and started making strange, guttural noises as Gaara walked closer and closer to him. Gaara then lifted his hand and stroked Kiba's hair.

"Mr. Bunny, do a trick. I wanna see a trick. Will you?? Huh? Will you?" Kiba shook his head furiously. "Fine. You're mean Mr. Bunny. Real mean." The drugs seemed to make Gaara act like a small child.

No one knew what the mushrooms would do mixed with the medication. No one even knew what the medication was, or what it was for. Suddenly Gaara stood up and struck Lee and Gai's signature "Nice Guy" pose.

"Make cookies, NOT war! … No, seriously. Anyone got any cookies? I need cookies to go with my milk!" He said pointing to an apple. It was, in Gaara's mind, milk.

Gaara Vision:

Surrounding him were strange people and creatures, the sight of them making Gaara laugh. Where Kankuro was sitting only a moment ago, there was a lime-green and black Cheshire cat singing "Yankee Doodle" and playing checkers with a cockatiel. Across the table was a grey tree with a spiky top and a cloud above it. Its acorn eyes blinked lazily at Gaara, who laughed and waved at it. Next to the tree was a tall, yellow, four-leaf clover, staring at the tree longingly.

"Hey, you got any cookies?" He asked the Cheshire cat. "Nope. Sorry Gaara." It replied. He turned his attention to Sauske, who was sitting next to the Cheshire cat.

"Hehe…I like cockatiels. And that sure is an ugly frog." He giggled looking at Sauske and Lee.

Normal Vision:

"Eh, guys? Why is Gaara waving at me?" Shikamaru asked.

"Did he just call me a cockatiel?" Sauske growled.

"A f-frog? He thinks I look like a f-frog?" Lee started tearing up.

Gaara Vision:

Turning away from the Cheshire cat, the cockatiel, and the ugly frog to further inspect his surroundings, he spotted Ino and looked horrified.

"N-n-no…NOOO! NO YASHAMARU!! NOT THE CURTAINS!! NOT AGAIN!!!" Gaara screamed in Ino's direction before crawling under the table, shuddering.

"That can't be good." The Cheshire cat/Kankuro stated.

By this time Sakura was staring at a ceramic turtle on the shelf behind her, batting her eyelashes and sighing dreamily all the while.

"AHHHHHH! NOOOOOO! NOOOOOO!!!" Gaara let out a bloodcurdling scream and crawled behind a large plant that he saw as a vanilla ice cream cone, in the corner.

Forgetting about Ino for a moment, Gaara started licking the plant that he hid behind. Once he took a bite he looked at the plant disdainfully.

"That is the most disgusting ice cream in the world! I wish it were chocolate, instead of vanilla…"He scanned the room, wandering over to another plant and licking it. "That's much better. Mmm. Neji, your chocolate ice cream is better than your vanilla." Neji seemed to be the only one he recognized. Then he caught sight of Ino again and backed into the corner again, yelling.

"I PROMISE! I PROMISE! I won't put Temari's bras on Kankuro anymore! I PROMISE! Just don't…not the curtains…" Gaara started crying. Looking at a bewildered Ino the whole time. Then he crawled over to Sakura, whimpering.

"Mommy, will you read me a bedtime story?"

"I'm your mom!? When did I have a baby? When did I even have SEX??" Sakura asked him.

"NO! He CANNOT go to sleep!" the yellow four-leaf clover said to Gaara's "mommy."

"Sorry dear. Hulk Hogan says you can't sleep. How 'bout you, me, and Dad go for a walk?" She asked pointing to the ceramic turtle, which she then picked up.

Sniffling, Gaara nodded and stood up again. Choji took this time to lock all the windows and doors. Then he pushed the table up against the wall with help from Shino, Hinata, Kiba, and Naruto. Shino and Hinata making sure everyone was out of the way while the others pushed the very large table. After that, he grabbed a chair, sat back, and enjoyed the show.

During their walk around a giant blue Jell-O mold with red Swedish fish swimming in it, Gaara saw a table lamp with spiky blonde hair fishing in the Jell-O with an umbrella. He ran towards the lamp, but was jerked backwards when Sakura grabbed his shirt collar.

"Mommy! I wanna go talk to the lamp!!" he whined.

"Stay away from my daughter, Sasori! You won't get my child!" Sakura warned a very confused looking Naruto menacingly, while pushing Gaara's face deeper and deeper into her cleavage. "Even though I don't remember having her." She added looking at the ceiling.

"…need…air! …need…air…mommy…" Gaara gasped, grabbing at Sakura's shoulders. The he went limp, unconscious.

"NOO!" screamed Temari and Kankuro. Until it seemed as though Shukaku, who had also been affected by the three bowls of stew eaten by Gaara, was unconscious as well. It was Sakura everyone focused their concern for now. She had dropped Gaara and picked up the broken ceramic turtle she had dropped upon seeing Sasori/Naruto, rocking it back and forth slowly in her arms, weeping.

What'd you think of chapter two?

I'd reallly reallly like to know. Plus lots of reviews makes me happy :D

R&R please!