A/N: Thanks for the reviews and follows. I really appreciate it I really hope you like this chapter. Please review and Fav/Folllow!
My arm was wound up to throw my pencil across the room after I just banged my head against the table when someone grabbed my in motion wrist. I turned around and was shocked for it to be no other than Kelly standing behind me. His hand tightly clasped around my wrist. Somehow he made his way from having a conversation with chief to scaring the crap out of me. "What's wrong with you?" he asked looking concerned.
"Well if you're asking what's wrong with the world, chemistry is what's wrong with the world. And if you're asking what's wrong with me, life is what's wrong with me." I replied not having any more tolerance for this crap.
"Hey now," he said stroking my dark brown hair, "let's have a look." After a good hour of Severide going from trying to explain ionic compounds and reassuring me that I wasn't stupid I began to dramatically bang my head on the table. He slowly pulled me toward him holding my shoulders and looking me in the eye. "How about we take a break and eat some dinner before you give yourself a concussion. Then me and Matt need to have a talk with you," he said grabbing the sides of my face and kissing my forehead. The comforting side of my Uncle Kelly was rare to anyone else except me. His deep concerned voice was reassuring and could make you believe anything he said. It was just what I needed right now.
"You are pretty warm," he said commenting on the temperature of my forehead.
"Lay of it," I said in a serious tone but smirking to show him that I was just kidding. Kelly grabbed my hand and led me towards the kitchen where the rest if the house was loading their bowls full of chili.
"Hey girly girl," Mills said rapping me into a side hug as he scooped chili into his bowl. Mills was like the older brother I never had, he was my partner in crime and I knew I could call him whenever I got myself into trouble. His hugs were always warm and long which at many times saved me from myself. All my friends thought he was adorable, but who am I kidding all my friends thought my whole family was adorable. Even Mouch. "I made your favorite,", finally letting me out his embrace.
"Wow everyone is being so nice to me today," I replied.
"That's because we all missed you," Shay said tapping me on the nose with her spoon when she said you. Her blonde ponytail swung behind her. "It's pretty boring around here without you around." I grinned back at her. Kelly grabbed me a bowl and placed it down at a seat next to him. Herman sat on the other side of me while Matt sat across from him.
"Do you not like it Saw," Otis asked in his rare concerned voice as he watched me flip my spoon through the chili over and over again.
"No it's really good I'm just not really hungry," I smiled at him. Oats as I called him was usually the one who got me in trouble, he always convinced me to do stupid things and we'd both share in the laughter and the consequences. I had a special relationship with everybody in this house, each unique in its own way, but I would give my life for every single one of the members of firehouse fifty one.
"I'm telling you you're sick, honey." Hermy said giving me a knowing look. "You're even looking a little pale.
"Will you just hush," I said punching him in the arm. He cringed like it actually hurt, I was hoping it actually did. I had already gotten enough attention today and I didn't need people tending to me like I was sick.
"I'm a dad I know these things,"
"I'm not sick," I sang in a mocking tone.
"You two knock it off, and you, I know you're not really up for food right know but try to eat some, okay babe." Uncle Matt said giving both me and Hermy a look.
"Yes sir," I said as I lifted my spoon to my mouth. Life was good. I was back in the states and bickering with Hermy just like usual. I was right where I belonged.
I got up and helped Mills with the dishes when I heard Casey talking to Severide in the other room. "Do we have to tell her now," Kelly's voice sounded vulnerable and shaky, "She's so happy and we're going to ruin that. Who knows when she's going to be happy after hearing this terrible news, can't we just wait until tomorrow."
"I know, I know, " I heard Matt mumble, "but the longer we wait to tell her the more she'll resent us, and the sooner we tell her the sooner she'll be able to cope with this,"
"I know but she's our baby, and I just can't see breaking her heart like this. Matt, she's been through so much already this is something that's just going to kill her. I'm not dealing well with this Matt. Me. Mr. Tough Guy is about to break down over this. How is a fifteen year old little girl going to deal with this news? He's the only blood she has left." I walked quietly to where Kelly and Matt were standing I needed to know what this was about.
"Uncle Kelly? What's going on?" I asked hoping not to hear something that was everybodies worst nightmare.
"Let's go talk in my office," Matt said rapping his arm around me holding me close. I could smell his cologne. We all stepped into his small office, my Uncle Matt in front of me, and my Uncle Kelly behind me.
"If this is about my grades, one, why did Andy tell you about my grades, and two, I'll bring my Calc grade up I promise." I joked trying to lighten the mood. But somehow I knew this wasn't about my grades. They both chuckled at my remark, something I was happy to see.
"Babe," Uncle Matt said placing his hands on my shoulders and bending down so he was eye to eye with me, "Today your Uncle Andy, he was in an accident, and he didn't make it babe," His hands were shaking on my shoulders and his eyes were glossy. I looked back at Kelly who had a stone cold expression on his face staring at the floor. Never in my life have I ever seen him show weakness until today.
"You're kidding right?" I asked hoping the answer would be yes. "Otis just put you up to this for me telling him I missed my plane in Mexico. Right Uncle Matt? Right? Tell me you're just kidding Uncle Matt this is all just an awful joke. Right? Uncle Matt please tell me you're kidding. Uncle Kelly he's just kidding right? Right guys tell me you're just kidding and this is some awful prank." I whispered trying my best to keep from going into hysterics. This couldn't be happening, old Andy Darden was fierce, he was as hard as steel, he was indestructible.
"I wish I could babe, trust me there's nothing more in this world I want than to be able to tell you this is all a joke." I started feeling dizzy and then I felt someone catch me and pull me against his chest. He tucked my head underneath his chin and nuzzled his face into my hair kissing my head as I collapsed against him thinking about everything he just told me. His hand was stroking my back while his other hand was repeatedly tucking my hair behind my ear. I tried to speak but I couldn't. "Babe, I'm here whenever you need me, Kelly's here whenever you need him, everyone in this house is here for you, we all love you more than you can possibly imagine. You're our baby and none of this will ever change that okay?" he asked while he pulled me out of our embrace and rested his forehead on mine. Looking me right in the eyes. I couldn't speak so I just nodded. I laid my head back on to his chest. I inhaled smelling his cologne. Something that I would never be able to do with Uncle Andy again.
I wasn't going to cry, there was no way in hell I was going to cry. Crying was admitting that it was real and this was actually happening, and never would I admit this was happening. My breathing was tiring me out, it was just as exhausting not crying as it was crying. I could here Uncle Matt's soothing voice in the background. "It's okay," I could hear him say in rhythm with him stroking my hair, "you can cry Sawyer it's okay cry, it's just me and Uncle Kelly there's no need to hide your emotions. Your safe here with us. I just looked up at him and mouthed the words "I'm okay" and threw myself back into him closing my eyes. He was wearing a short sleeve CFD shirt, and his warm skin felt so calming against mine. I was so lucky to have them in a time like this.
To both of their surprise I pulled out of this embrace and looked at both of them. Kelly now sitting in Matt's desk chair with his head in his hands. I went to open my mouth to speak and Kelly interjected" Monkey it's not healthy to keep in your emotions, you can cry it's okay. Everyone cries. The only reason we're not crying is because we cried as soon as we heard the news and we've accepted it. We could only accept it so fast because we have to be strong for you and we're grown men. You're just a little girl honey, let it out we're here for you, god put us on this earth to be here to wipe your eyes." The whine in his voice was profound like a little boys as he begged me to cry, but I couldn't not yet, not now, he wasn't dead so why did I need to cry.
"I'm okay guys really," I said with a little smile that wasn't fooling anyone not even myself, I was just ready to leave this office and forget everything ever happened.
A/N Let's just say tonight for Sawyer is going to be hard. I really hoped you liked it. Thank you so much for reading it. If you have any ideas feel free to leave them. Please, please, please review! It motivates me to write. And make sure you follow/fave :D
