Fallout Undertale

by Mercury Freelancer

Fallout and Undertale. Two legendary RPGs that have defined generations and have tested the morality of toughs who played them. But what happens when the original hero of Fallout, the banished Vault Dweller, meets the desperate world of Undertale? Will diplomacy be his weapon of choice or will he let bullets do the talking? Find out in Fallout Undertale.

2. Chapter 2: Nuclear Winter

Chapter 2: Nuclear Winter

The Vault Dweller steps out into a frozen forest. The air is cold and still and the trees are tall and line up almost perfectly. The Vault Dweller looks back at the vault door. He puts his hand on it. For a moment, the Vault Dweller feels a deep regret. The peaceful life he had lived and the people he held close to his heart. He left it all behind… again. He takes his hand off the door and notices a bush and something metal in it. A…camera? Maybe Toriel uses it to keep an eye on the vault entrance. The Vault Dweller disregards this, says one last "Goodbye." underneath his breath and begins walking down a snowy path. After a few moments he sees a branch on the path. It's a tough-looking branch. He tries to pick it up but it's too heavy. He walks over it instead. After a few short steps, the branch breaks! The Vault Dweller inspects it. It's been smashed like it was nothing… The Vault Dweller equips his pistol just in case and proceeds along the path. The air is silent. All he hears is his footsteps in the snow. It feels like he's being followed. Eventually, the Vault Dweller comes across a small bridge with a gate of some kind over it. He holsters his pistol and gazes at the gate, contemplating why it's here. Suddenly, the air howls and goes completely silent. It is so quiet the Vault Dweller can hear his own heartbeat. The Vault Dweller feels a great unease, as if the sins of his past are crawling on his back. He tries to reach for his pistol, but his hands cannot move. He is frozen in absolute terror. Someone is behind him.

?: "Human. Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand."

The Vault Dweller turns slowly in place and faces the one who was following him. He sees a black shadow standing in front of him. It stands at half the Vault Dweller's height but the Vault Dweller feels that one wrong move will give him a bad time. The shadow extends a hand. The Vault Dweller grabs it firmly.

Pppppprrrrrrrttttt…

Vault Dweller: "…heh…heh heh… HAHAHAHA!"

The comedic sound of a fart noise puts the Vault Dweller at ease. He lets go of the shadows hand and the "shadow" is revealed to be a short grinning skeleton wearing a blue jacket.

?: "heheh… the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it's ALWAYS funny. anyways, you're a human, right? that;s hilarious. i'm sans. sans the skeleton."

Vault Dweller: "Uh, nice to meet you… sans." *the Vault Dweller sees the irony of this situation*

sans: "im actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but… y'know… i don't really care about capturing anybody. now my brother, papyrus… he's a human-hunting FANATIC. hey, actually, I think that's hum over there. i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone."

sans and the Vault Dweller cross the bridge and go through the gate thingy and arrive at a small clearing with what seems to be a checkpoint or sentry-station and a lamp that is conveniently shaped like the Vault Dweller.

sans: "quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp."

The Vault Dweller moves behind the conveniently-shaped lamp. A tall skeleton wearing some kind of white and orange armor and a cape walks on screen. He also seems to be grinning but he seems more annoyed than happy.

sans: "sup, bro?"

PAPYRUS: "YOU KNOW WHAT 'SUP,' BROTHER! IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T… RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!"

sans: "staring at this lamp. it's really cool. do you wanna look?"

PAPYRUS: "NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!" *PAPYRUS STOMPS ANGRILY* "WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE!? I WANT TO BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN!" *PAPYRUS' MOOD CHANGES TO MORE SELF INDULDGED AND HE STRIKES A POSE WHERE THE WIND IS BLOWING HIS CAPE. HEY! THE WINDS BACK!* "THEN, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT… RECOGNITION… I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK, TO, BE MY, 'FRIEND?' I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING."

sans: "hmm… maybe this lamp will help you."

PAPYRUS: "SANS! YOU ARE NOT HELPING! YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!"

sans: "hey, take it easy. i've gotten a ton of work done today. A skele-ton."

The screen zooms in on sans, he winks, the comic effect drum plays and the screen zooms out again.

Vault Dweller: *snicker*

PAPYRUS: "SANS!"

sans: "come on. you're smiling."

PAPYRUS: "I AM AND I HATE IT! SIGH… WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME… HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TO GET SOME RECOGNITION…"

sans: "wow, sounds like you're really working yourself… down to the bone."

The same thing happens just like the last time sans made a horrible pun, only this time he has his arms out in the "I dunno" pose and he is grinning even bigger.

Vault Dweller: "hehehe."

PAPYRUS: "UGH! WHY DOES THAT LAMP KEEP SNICKERING!?"

sans: "donno. guess it just has a lose bulb." *sans silently winks at the forth wall*

PAPYRUS: "OH, THAT MAKES-SANS!"

Vault Dweller: "*struggling to hold in his laugher*

PAPYRUS: "I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES… AS FOR YOUR WORK? PUT A LITTLE MORE, 'BACKBONE' INTO IT!"

Vault Dweller: *laughing uncontrollably into his hands*

PAPYRUS: "NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!" *PAPYRUS WALKS OFF-SCREEN THEN WALKS BACK ON* "HEH!" *NOW HE WALKS OFF FOR REAL*

sans: "ok, you can come out now."

The Vault Dweller comes out from behind the conveniently-shaped lamp. His face is flushed red and he's breathing heavily. He's recovering from the bad puns.

sans: "woah buddy, you ok there?"

Vault Dweller: "Yeah," *clears throat* "that was just, really funny."

sans: "im glad someone else also enjoys my horrible comedy…" *sans pauses for a sec* "actually, hey… hate to bother ya, but can you me a favor?"

Vault Dweller: "What kind of favor?"

sans: "i was thinking… my brother's been kind of down lately… he's never seen a human before. and seeing you might just make his day."

Vault Dweller: "He seemed pretty serious about the whole human capturing thing. Won't he attack me and try to take me prisoner?"

sans: "don't worry, he's not dangerous. even if he tries to be."

Vault Dweller: "Well… you two where pretty entertaining. Alright, I'll show myself to him."

sans: "thanks a million. i'll be up ahead." *sans walks off-screen*

The Vault Dweller walks along the path and sees another save point and touches it. (The convenience of that lamp still fills you with determination.) The Vault Dweller also notices a box with a sign next to it. The sign reads "This is a box. You can put an item inside or take an item out. The same box will appear later, so don't worry about coming back. Sincerely," the words end here but below the sincerely is a picture of a rock and a snake. Odd. The Vault Dweller ignores the box for now and decides to walk to the left/up in the fork. He finds a stream and a fishing rod affixed to the ground. He decides to reel it in but all that's attached to the end is a photo of a weird-looking monster… (Call Me! Here's my number!) The Vault Dweller decides not to call. He proceeds back to the fork in the road, encounters a snowbird looking monster that gives a lame comedy act that the Vault Dweller still laughs at and goes the right way this time. There he sees sans and PAPYRUS chatting.

PAPYRUS: "SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE," *PAPYRUS SEES THE VAULT DWELLER IN THE CORNER OF HIS VISION AND HE CUTS HIMSELF OFF AND STARES AT THE VAULT DWELLER*

The skeleton brothers then engage in a strange back and forth of looks that ends up making them spin in place really fast. At the end of this weird display of curiosity the two turn their backs to the Vault Dweller and converse.

PAPYRUS: "SANS! OH MY GOD! IS THAT… A HUMAN!?"

The two look in the Vault Dweller's general direction but somehow end up looking at a rock BEHIND HIM.

sans: "uhhhh… actually, i think that's a rock."

PAPYRUS: "OH."

Vault Dweller: (What?)

sans: "hey, what's that in front of the rock?"

PAPYRUS: *NOW SEEING THE HUMAN* "OH MY GOD! (IS… IS THAT A HUMAN)"

sans: "(yes)"

PAPYRUS: "OH MY GOD! SANS! I FINALLY DID IT! UNDYNE WILL… I'M GONNA… I'LL BE SO… POPULAR! POPULAR! POPULAR!... 'AHEM' HUMAN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN… THEN! I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S NEXT. IN ANY CASE! CONTINUE… ONLY IF YOU DARE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" *PAPYRUS RUNS OFF NYEH HEH HEHING*

sans: "well, that went well."

Vault Dweller: "Yeah, peachy."

sans: "don't sweat it, kid. i'll keep an eyesocket out for ya." *sans walks off*

The Vault Dweller continues down the path the skelebros went and notices a poorly crafted sentry stand on it with narration on it. YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER… I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN! (NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN.) The Vault Dweller laughs under his breath and continues onwards. The next thing he notices is a sign next to a sentry station. The sign reads "Absolutely NO MOVING!" The Vault Dweller moves because he knows he cannot progress the story without moving. Slowly yet suddenly, a… humanoid cybernetic dog with his brain floating in a jar on his head, wearing a wife beater with a red bull on it and holding two knives emerges from the sentry station.

?: "Did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. If something WAS moving… For example, a human… I'll make sure it NEVER moves again!"

FIGHT start! Rexxo blocks the way! The Vault Dweller selects ACT and attempts to move closer to Rexxo.

Rexxo: "AH! MOVING! MOVING! MOVEMENT!"

Rexxo swings with a magical knife and it hits the moving Vault Dweller, causing minor damage. Rexxo is confirming the moving object. The Vault Dweller ACTs again, but what's this? The Vault Dweller notices a second panel in the ACT options. It's his Fallout Abilities! The Vault Dweller picks 'Sneak[100%]' and manages to get close to Rexxo, where he proceeds to pet him.

Rexxo: "WHAT! I'VE BEEN PET! PET? PET? PET? PAT? POT? PAT? WHO IS PAT?"

Rexxo has been pet and the Vault Dweller selects MERCY and spares Rexxo. YOU WON! You earned 0 XP and 30 golden bottle caps.

Rexxo: "S-S-S-Something pet me… Something that isn't m-m-moving… I'm gonna need some dog treats for this!"

The Vault Dweller walks off to the right and notices some bone shaped objects on the ground. (Someone's been smoking dog treats.)

Vault Dweller: "…" *the Vault Dweller has nothing to say about that*

The Vault Dweller continues on the path and enters another clearing with another fork in the road covered in ice. sans is standing nearby and the Vault Dweller speaks with him.

sans: "hey, here's something important to remember. my brother has a very special attack. if you see a blue attack, don't move and it won't hurt you. here's an easy way to keep it in mind. imagine a stop sign. when you see a stop sign, you stop, right? stop signs are red. so imagine a blue stop sign instead. simple, right? when fighting, think about blue stop signs."

The Vault Dweller thinks back to his FIGHT with Rexxo. He remembers Rexxo's knives turning blue when he slashed at him.

Vault Dweller: "Wish I would have known that in the last battle, but thanks for the advice."

The Vault Dweller steps on the ice and he slides to the sign in the middle. It reads "North: Ice, South: Ice, West: Ice, East: Snowdin Town… and Ice." The Vault Dweller then goes North iin the fork and meets a snowman.

Snowman: "Hello. I am a snowman. I want to see the world… But I cannot move. If you would be so kind, traveller, please… Take a piece of me and bring it very far away."

The Vault Dweller nods accepting the snowman's task.

Snowman: "Thank you… good luck!"

The Vault Dweller takes a piece of the snowman and puts it in his pip-boy. (You got the Snowman Piece.) After that he ventures to the right side of the fork and once again meets the skeleton brothers conversing.

PAPYRUS: "REALLY THOUGH! THAT HUMAN! DO I KNOW THAT PERSON?"

sans: "do you not know… who you know?"

PAPYRUS: PBPBPPBPT! OF COURSE I KNOW WHO I KNOW! I WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW… I KNOW WHO I KNOW AS MUCH AS I KNOW I KNOW WHO I KNOW!... YOU KNOW?" *PAPYRUS AND SANS NOTICE THE HUMAN STANDING ACROSS THE SQUARE IN THE SNOW* "OH-HO! SPEAK OF THE DEVIL! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU… MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE… QUITE SHOCKING! FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE… ELECTRICITY MAZE! WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE, THIS ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP! SOUND LIKE FUN? BECAUSE! THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE, IS ACTUALLY RATHER SMALL I THINK. OK, YOU CAN GO AHEAD NOW."

The Vault Dweller walks forward and suddenly the orb electrocutes PAPYRUS.

PAPYRUS: *STOMPING ANGRILY* "SANS! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

sans: 'i think the human has to hold the orb."

PAPYRUS: "OH, OKAY." *PAPYRUS WALKS THROUGH THE INVISIBLE MAZE, LEAVING A TRAIL IN THE SNOW, AND ENDS UP RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE HUMAN* "HOLD THIS PLEASE!" *PAPYRUS THROWS THE ORB IN THE AIR AND IT LANDS ON THE VAULT DWELLER'S HEAD* "OKAY, TRY NOW!"

The Vault Dweller follows the trail left by PAPYRUS and effortlessly navigates the invisible maze without getting shocked.

PAPYRUS: "INCREDIBLE! YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL! YOU SOLVED IT SO EASILY… TOO EASILY! HOWEVER! THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE EASY! IT IS DESIGNED BY MY BROTHER, SANS! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" *MOONWALK OFF SCREEN*

sans: "hey, thanks… my brother seems like he's having fun. by the way, did you see that weird outfit he's wearing?"

Vault Dweller: "It's a little hard not to. What's the story behind it?"

sans: "we made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. he hasn't worn anything else since… keeps calling it his "battle body." man. isn't my brother cool?"

Vault Dweller: "Believe me, I can relate."

The Vault Dweller continues his journey. He meets a monster selling 'Nice Cream' in the middle of the woods and buys one. It's been ages since the Vault Dweller had ice cream so he savors it. In reality, it tastes horrible, but the Vault Dweller has had much worse so to him it tastes like paradise. After he finished his Nice Cream he finds a strange mini-game where he pushes a snowball that decreases in size every time he touches it into a hole. He succeeds and a flag with the number "13" comes out of the hole. He also gets 10 gold bottle caps. After that he finds a snowball that is actually a snodecaherdron. He also encounters sans again.

sans: "i've been thinking about selling treats too. want some fried snow? it's just 5 caps."

Vault Dweller: *nods*

sans: "did I say 5 caps? i ment 50 caps."

Vault Dweller: "Sorry, don't have that kind of money on me."

sans: "that's ok. I didn't have any snow."

The two exchange winks and pistol hands and the Vault Dweller continues progressing. To the right of sans he finds two more sentry stations right next to each other with a sign between them. It reads "SMELL DANGER RATING Snow Smell – Snowman WHITE Rating, Can become YELLOW Rating. Unsuspicious Smell – Puppy BLUE Rating, Smell of rolling around. Weird Smell – Humans GREEN Rating Destroy at all costs!" Inside the sentry stations are two signs. In one it says (His.) in the other it says (Hers.) The Vault Dweller then goes down and proceeds proper Again, he meets the skeleton bros.

PAPYRUS: "HUMAN! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR… SANS! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE!"

sans: "it's right there. on the ground. trust me. there's no way they can get past this one."

The Vault Dweller walks over to and picks up the paper on the ground. It's a word search. The Vault Dweller uses his Perception[6] and easily solves the word search. He shows the finished puzzle to sans and PAPYRUS.

sans: "dang. i knew i should have used today's crossword instead."

PAPYRUS: "WHAT!? CROSSWORD!? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! IN MY OPINION… JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST."

sans: "what? really, dude? that easy-peasy word scramble? that's for baby bones."

PAPYRUS: "UN. BELIEVABLE. HUMAN! SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!"

(Which is harder?)

Vault Dweller: "[Speech 40/40] You know what's really hard? Sudoku."

PAPYUS: "HMMM… YOU HAVE A POINT HUMAN! I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE BASICS OF THAT ONE!" *PAPYRUS RUNS OFF*

sans: "you're right. sudoku is tough. but papyrus… finds difficulty in interesting places. yesterday he got stumped trying to 'solve' the horoscope."

The Vault Dweller laughs and then proceeds on. He enters a clearing with a note on the ground, a table with spaghetti on it, another table with a microwave on it and a mouse hole. The note reads "HUMAN! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI. LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP… DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU! YOU'LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT… THAT YOU WON'T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T PROGRESSING! THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NYEH- HEH- HEH, PAPYRUS"

The Vault Dweller inspects the spaghetti. It's frozen. In fact, it's so cold, it's stuck to the table… The microwave is unplugged. All of the settings say "spaghetti." The Vault Dweller decides to save. (Knowing the mouse might one day find a way to hear up the spaghetti… It fills you with determination.) After saving, the Vault Dweller continues to another puzzle. This time he finds a hidden switch after un-snowing a map on the ground to lower some spikes blocking his path. He crosses another tiny bridge when suddenly two hooded monsters carrying giant axes approach.

?#1: "*BZZZT* What's that smell? *BEEP BEEP*" ?#2: "*BRRRT* Where's that smell? *BZZZT*" ?#1: "*BEEP BEEP* If you're a smell…" ?#2: "…identify yoursmelf! *BZZU*" *the two run around franticly searching for the smell and then stop right beside the Vault Dweller, flanking him on both sides. ?#1: "Hmmm… *BZZZZ* Here's that weird smell… It makes me want to eliminate." ?#2: "Eliminate YOU!"

A FIGHT begins! The hooded monsters pull back their hoods and are revealed to be two humanoid robot dogs! CyberDogi assault you! The Vault Dweller ACTs. The male's name is Robodogamy and the female's name is K-9aressa. The two seem to be rubbing noses. They must be married. The Vault Dweller inspects them and notices something peculiar. Their eyes are broken. That must be why they were saying smell, they can only identify things through their sent sensors. The Vault Dweller remembers the sign he read earlier. Roll around. The Vault Dweller rolls around in the dirt and snow while the CyberDogi attempt to hit him with their axes. After rolling around for a little while, the Vault Dweller smells like a weird puppy. The Vault Dweller ACTs again asking the CyberDogi to smell him again.

Robodogamy: "*BEE-BEEP*What! Smells like a…" K-9aressa: "*BELELE*Are you actually a little puppy!?"

CyberDogi is confused by this. They blow white and blue hearts at the Vault Dweller and he avoids them. They think he may be a lost puppy. The Vault Dweller ACTs and pets the CyberDogi.

Robodogamy: "Wow! *BZZZT* Pet by another pup!" K-9aressa: "A dog that pets dogs… *BZT*Amazing!"

The Vault Dweller selects MERCY and spares CyberDogi, earning 40 golden bottle caps.

Robodogamy: "Dogs can pet other dogs? *BRRR*" K-9aressa: "A new world has opened up for us… *BEEP*" Robodogamy: "Thanks, weird puppy!" *the two run off*

The Vault Dweller proceeds on and encounters another puzzle involving turning Xs into Os and PAPYRUS standing behind some spikes.

PAPYRUS: "WHAT!? HOW DID YOU AVOID MY TRAP? AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY… IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME?"

Vault Dweller: "Uh, yeah. I left you the whole plate."

PAPYRUS: "REALLY!? WOWIE… YOU RESISTED THE FLAVOR OF MY HOMECOOKED PASTA… JUST SO YOU COULD SHARE IT WITH ME? FRET NOT HUMAN! I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS… WILL MAKE YOU ALL THE PASTA YOU COULD EVER WANT! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH!" *PAPYRUS RUNS OFF SCREEN*

The Vault Dweller finishes the puzzle, the spikes lower and he proceeds to the next puzzle where PAPYRUS is waiting for him.

PAPYRUS: "MY BROTHER STARTED A SOCK COLLECTION RECENTLY. HOW SADDENING… SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT HE WOULD DO… WITHOUT SUCH A COOL GUY TAKING CARE OF HIM? NYEH HEH HEH!" *THE VAULT DWELLER WALKS OVER TO THE NEXT PUZZLE AND PAPYRUS FOLLOWS* "HUMAN! HMMM… HOW DO I SAY THIS… YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE, SO… I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE… BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE. UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND. NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT! AND, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND. I SUPPOSE WHAT I AM SAYING IS… WORRY NOT, HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SOLVE THIS CONUNDRUM! THEN WE CAN BOTH PROCEED! MEANWHILE, FEEL FREE TO TRY THE PUZZLE YOURSELF! I'LL TRY NOT TO GIVE AWAY THE ANSWER!"

Vault Dweller: "[Speech 100/100] Oh, but this puzzle was crafted by the Great Papyrus himself. A mere human such as I, who barely managed to complete your previous work, could not even dream of solving a puzzle in your likeness. Please, oh Great Papyrus, will you not aid this poor soul in his time of need? Surly any monster worthy of a spot in the Royal Guard would aid those weaker than they."

PAPYRUS: *HIS EYES SPARKLE AND HIS SMILE SEEMS TO HAVE GROWN* O-OK! *PAPYRUS TAKES HIS HEROIC CAPE FLUTTERING IN THE WIND STANCE* "THE ANSWER TO THIS PUZZLE, HUMAN, IS A SWITCH. THE SWITCH IS AT THE BASE OF THAT TREE!" *PAPYRUS POINTS AT THE TREE IN QUESTION*

The Vault Dweller finds the switch at the base of the tree and pushes it. All the Xs turn into Os causing the spikes to retreat into the ground. PAPYRUS Nyeh heh hehs and runs away and what do ya know, sans is waiting just beyond the spikes.

sans: "wow. you sure know how to schmooze an egotist over. good job. you didn't even need my help. which is great, 'cause i love doing absolutely nothing."

The Vault Dweller continues to the next screen where PAPYUS and sans (how?) are waiting beyond a field of 50 different shades of grey tiles and standing next to a machine of some kind.

PAPYRUS: "HEY! IT'S THE HUMAN! YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE! IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS! YOU SEE THESE TILES!? ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH… THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR! EACH COLOR HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION! RED TILES ARE IMPASSABLE! YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM! YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC! THEY WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU! GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM… YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER! ORANGE TILES ARE ORANGE-SCENTED. THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL DELICIOUS! BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. SWIM THROUGH IF YOU LIKE, BUT… IF YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES! THE PIRAHNAS WILL BITE YOU. ALSO, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A, YELLOW TILE, THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU! PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY! YOU WILL SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE! HOWEVER, THE SLIPPERY SOAP… SMELLS LIKE LEMONS! WHICH PIRAHNAS DO NOT LIKE! PURPLE AND BLUE ARE OK! FINALLY, PINK TILES. THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING. STEP ON THEM ALL YOU LIKE. HOW WAS THAT!? UNDERSTAND?"

Vault Dweller: "Yes. Lie"

PAPYRUS: "GREAT! THEN THERE'S ONE LAST THING… THIS PUZZLE… IS ENTIRELY RANDOM! WHEN I PULL THIS SWITCH, IT WILL MAKE A PUZZLE… THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! NOT EVEN I WILL KNOW THE SOLUTION! NYEH HEH HEH! GET READY…!" *PAPYRUS PULLS A SWITCH ON THE MACHINE*

The grey tiles begin changing colors rapidly. It gets faster and faster until suddenly… it stops with only two colors on the ground. A red line, a pink line and another red line. This pattern allows the Vault Dweller to cross with no hassle, at all.

PAPYRUS: *SPINS AWAY…*

The Vault Dweller crosses the pink Austrian flag and talks to sans.

sans: "actually, that spaghetti from earlier… it wasn't too bad for my brother. since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. i bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible."

The Vault Dweller proceeds and finds another clearing. The Vault Dweller finds another sentry station with a sign next to it and a mongrel wearing armor staring at a pile of snow. On the floor of the station is a box of sugar bomberasians. The sign reads "AWARE OF MONGREL pleas pet mongrel". The mongrel is staring blankly into the snow, waiting for it to turn into art. Save point. (Knowing that mongrel will never give up trying to make the perfect snowdog… It fills you with determination.) After saving, the Vault Dweller notices brahmin looking monster standing in the clearing only this one has only one head and is wearing a sweater.

One Headed Brahmin Monster: "That mongrel considers itself an artist, but doesn't ever know what to create. It probably doesn't help that its brain is the size of a piece of kibble."

The Vault Dweller continues to another puzzle involving ice and Xs and Os. He also finds a buff snow Papyrus and lump of snow with the world "Sans" written on it with orange marker. After completing the puzzle, he slides down a long corridor of very tall trees. He emerges from the other side with a little Vault Boy made of snow on his head that quickly falls apart. He also falls off a cliff but lands safely and finds sans at the bottom.

sans: "say.. are you following me?"

The Vault Dweller walks a little to the right to find sans again-wait, what!?

sans: "you sure do like to exercise."

The Vault Dweller disregards this, undecorates a radstag looking monster and proceeds. He has reached the highest point of the cliffs. All wind seems to have stopped. The snow isn't falling either. The place is covered in snow poffs. There is a tiny doghouse with a sign that says "Woof." next to it. The Vault Dweller walks across the field of snow poffs. The silence is deafening. Not even the slightest breeze can be felt. The Vault Dweller can hear every piece of snow break as he walks. He makes it to the last snow poff when suddenly… a tail appears out of the snow poff. Then a head appears out of the snow poff. It is a dog with black and white fur. The dog barks playfully, and time freezes. The dog begins to rise from the snow poff slowly revealing its true form. The ground begins to shake, trembling in absolute fear as if the world was ending again. The snow flees in terror from the dog, revealing a massive suit of power armor and a perfectly conditioned super sledge. The power armor has numbers on it. 13-1 13-2 101-3 111-4. The shadows below cower in fear as if the devil himself was ordering a full retreat of the forces of hell. Almost certainly, the Vault Dweller could hear the cries of angels. Their voices passionate yet fearful out of righteous respect for the dog. The Grim Reaper himself kneels before the dog. A bright light shines on the dog and Vault Dweller as if GOD himself is watching. The forces of light and the forces of dark, none feel worthy to stand in the presence of this dog. Man, mere worms. Monsters, simple creatures. Holy and unholy, meaningless titles. Reality itself, is but of mere insignificance.

Vault Dweller: "…Dogmeat?"

It's Dogmeat. The FIGHT begins but the mere presence of Dogmeat causes the game to crash and the computer they were in to explode. However, by his will alone, Dogmeat pulls himself and the Vault Dweller into our reality so that they may continue to fight. They are in a cave deep below the Earth's surface much like the one in Undertale. The Vault Dweller ACTs. He checks to see what has happened to Dogmeat. (Dogmeat ∞ ATK ∞ DEF It's so excited to see its original master again that it thinks fighting is just play.)

Dogmeat swings his super sledge at the Vault Dweller. The Vault Dweller dodges, only being missed by molecules. The Vault Dweller ACTs again. The Vault Dweller beckons Dogmeat.

Vault Dweller: "Dogmeat, Let's Play!"

Dogmeat bounds towards the Vault Dweller, klecking slobber into his face. The slobber glimmers in the darkness as if it was made of crystal and gold. Dogmeat barks at the Vault Dweller, causing the entire underground to shake and would have caused the Vault Dweller's eardrums to explode if he hadn't covered them. The Vault Dweller regains his composure and ACTs. He fights all of his fears off as hard as he can, extends his hand and pets Dogmeat. Dogmeat curls up in the Vault Dweller's lap as it is being pet by him. Dogmeat gets so comfortable it falls asleep. For a moment, the world goes completely silent. All wars and fighting stop. All arguments and bigotry halt. Every conflict that could be ends. The Dogmeat wakes up! It's so excited! The conflicts of man begin just as quickly as they ended and this time with more force. Dogmeat grabs the Vault Dweller and they rocket out of the underground onto a battlefield in the Middle East right in the middle of a sandstorm. Bullets are flying, men are screaming, chaos is everywhere. Dogmeat grabs a tanks and throws it at a fighter jet, hitting it and causing a massive explosion. The Vault Dweller ACTs quickly, grabs a metal bar from a wrecked helicopter and throws it for Dogmeat to fetch. It lands in the sand. Dogmeat picks up all the sand in the area and brings it to the Vault Dweller. Now Dogmeat is very tired… It rests on the Vault Dweller right in the middle of the battlefield. Dogmeat wants some TLC. The Vault Dweller ACTs and pets Dogmeat. As he pets Dogmeat, it sinks its entire weight into him causing an earthquake… The Vault Dweller is somehow not completely crushed, but he still hasn't pet enough…! Pet capacity is 40-percent. The Vault Dweller ACTs again. He pets decisively. Pet capacity reaches 100 percent. Dogmeat flops over with its legs hanging in the air. The Archangel Michael, the Valkyrie Gunnr and Chuck Norris descend from Heaven from the eye of the sandstorm. They endow the Vault Dweller with the ability to spare Dogmeat. The Vault Dweller selects MERCY and spares Dogmeat. The world begins to glitch. Reality itself seems to be tearing at the seam. Life Death Love Hate War Peace. Everything fades to black for a moment. Suddenly, the Vault Dweller is returned to the multiverse videogame crossover with Dogmeat standing in front of him. Dogmeat is out of his power armor wagging his tail, revealing its cute four-legged dog form. The Vault Dweller kneels down and pets Dogmeat as Dogmeat licks the Vault Dweller. When Dogmeat conclude his affection, he jumps back into his power armor head first and walks away. Despite everything the Vault Dweller went through, he is glad to have seen his old friend again. The Vault Dweller proceeds on a very long rope bridge connecting the cliff he was on to another cliff. At the end of the bridge he, once again, meets sans and PAPYRUS.

PAPYRUS: "HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!"

A spike ball on chains, a spear, a dog on a rope, a torch with fire spewing from it, another spear and a cannon appear above and below the bridge.

Vault Dweller: "DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?"

sans: "what, you mean that dog that just walked by? he's harmless."

Vault Dweller: "Wha…I … Dogm… harmle… the… reality… ARG, FORGET IT!"

PAPYRUS: "ANYWAYS, WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNOS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN! ARE YOU READY!? BECAUSE! HERE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!"

Nothing happens.

sans: "well? what's the holdup?"

PAPYRUS: "HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I'M… I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!"

Nothing happens.

sans: "that, uh, doesn't look very activated."

PAPYRUS: "WELL! THIS CHALLENGE! IT SEEMS… MAYBE… TOO EASY TO DEFEAT THE HUMAN WITH. YEAH! WE CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR! AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED! BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL! AWAY IT GOES!" *THE TRAP GOES AWAY* "PHEW. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!? THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS! NYEH! HEH!... HEH?" *QUICKLY WALKS AWAY*

The Vault Dweller makes it across the bridge and talks to sans.

sans: "I don't know what my brother's going to do now. if i were you, i would make sure i understand blue attacks."

The Vault Dweller continues his journey in the next chapter…