A Promise Kept by God
My Testimony
The Lord promised my life to be saved, and so it was done, but it took quite a while. This time may have seemed short and there will be many who will say it took far too long. But I must say, if it brought me to Christ, then it was just right.
The journey began on the day of my birth, and gradually became more and more difficult as time went on. The devil wrapped chains around my body and blinded me with his hands. God seemed artificial and unreal, yet real. I knew He was in the clouds above the earth somewhere but I refrained from worshiping, praying and reading the Holy Bible. I wanted to live life by my rules and have no strings attached to the Lord, until the very end of my life came. Then, I would turn from my sins and have a one way ticket to heaven without any hard work.
So I continued life without the Lord, but it simply became worse. I would remember the past clearly and hate ignited a fire in my heart that spread unstoppably, like a wild fire in the woods of California.
I shall skip a few years of my life, since it is simply a complaint, and fast forward to the true struggle.
My freshman year of high school had to be the worst year of my life. I was extremely happy and cheerful the first day of school, and a few weeks later, I was too depressed to smile. The world became dark in my eyes, and shutting them felt the same as leaving them open.
I hadn't done this to myself purposely, like some have, but everything I desired hadn't landed on my plate. I used to stare at my table and the glass was half-empty, the plate was filled with scraps, and the fork wasn't shinning. Nothing could meet my high standards, and so dwelling upon it caused jealously to grow and my self-confidence to lower.
The greatest suffering I endured began when my mother was hired at her current job. She was paid a decent amount, yet, the stress and frustration could never match it. My poor mother brought home anger that soon gave us (my siblings and I) plans to run away again.
I never shouted at my mother, and I continued to be obedient but I couldn't take much longer. My family's painful words (which only brought death) gradually caused the anger multiply. These words were like daggers, piercing the soul and leaving merely warm blood to trickle down my chest.
The words of the devil were not wood for the fire, but gasoline.
Burn fire burn.
Soon enough, the perfectionist within me kicked in, and I fell for a trap the devil set. The demon of anorexia (certain demons attack each and every one of us, just saying) deceived me into walking on a different path, leading to a route closer to death than I originally predicted. I couldn't think properly, nor could I function without the thoughts of the past roaming in my mind, playing a clip of what I once found painful.
On that very path, I turned my head to glance at what was behind me. I was badly in need of a quick solution, and I found something I had forgotten: a light named Christ! We were far apart from each other, but His light was visible from such a great distance. That light reminded me of how great, loving, kind, peaceful, merciful, and dependable Christ was. My grandfather told me his story of how Christ saved his soul from death. In my heart, I felt as though He could lead me out of my suffering. I believed He could do the same for me. I believed Jesus Christ was my savior, after years of denying Him.
I swirled around in place and began walking towards the brilliant, white light. I walked by praying every night and reading the bible, even though I truly couldn't understand the reason why I prayed or the words I read.
The demon pulled me away as I walked towards Christ, but I still had sight of Him. Even though I cried every night, even though a smile never spread across my face, even though pain weighted my heart, even though I hurt myself for my fleshy pleasures, even though the devil attacked me with everything he had, I still knew there was a way out and it wasn't death, for my grandfather specifically told me, "Killing yourself sends you straight to hell."
Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life, just as the Holy Bible says.
One Sunday in December (the twelfth to be exact), I was invited to church and this time I agreed to go. I typically denied because I believed every church member would remember me. This was another attack from the devil, and it worked, since it kept me from attending church for a few months.
At twelve thirty in the afternoon, I stepped in the house of God and felt terrified of what others would think of me.
A church member stared at me and asked, "Have you came here before?"
I hadn't attended church, but I had entered it before.
I told her I had, and followed my grandmother to the bench. I sat beside my brother (he and my sister attended church every now and then) and kept silent.
The pastor asked for us to stand and give God praise, but I had no idea what he meant. I stood stiff as a bolder, as I watch what everyone else was doing around me. My grandfather raised his hands and shouted, my grandma raised her hand and clapped occasionally and my great uncles did the same. As I was glancing around, a woman suddenly began dancing uncontrollably. The steps were consistent, sharp, and it looked cool. A church member came beside her and held her while she danced. Then the women stopped, and her right hand began moving as she gripped onto the bench with the other.
I hadn't known the powers of the Holy Spirit. I couldn't comprehend as to why she danced like she had.
After the church stopped worshipping, the pastor and his wife (who was also a pastor) preached in English and Spanish. I could barely understand the message, since I was spiritually deaf. However, when the end of the service came, the pastor asked if anyone would like to accept Jesus Christ as their savior. God blessed me with the willingness and courage to rise and walk to the altar. My grandfather told my siblings to go with me, and they followed his orders.
The pastor asked me a question, and I couldn't hear him over the loud music, but it was about whether I came to the altar to accept Christ as my savior or asked for prayer. We told him we knew Christ, and so he left us standing. A short female asked my sister and me to hold hands, and to raise the other. We followed her orders as she prayed intensely for us. I couldn't hear her, but whatever she said made me teary-eyed. Once she completed the prayer, I felt as light as a feather and joyful, too. I wanted to dance and sing, to do things I hadn't done in a while. I actually felt peace after spending my whole entire life without it. I couldn't help but smile.
After years without Christ, I finally came to accept Him as my savior. He was mine and I was His. He saved me, and I loved him for doing so. He loved me, and I loved Him. I felt no need to do the evil I had once done. He pulled me out of my suffering, and I love Him for the greatest thing He has done in my life, for He blessed me with Himself.
Over a promise God had kept with a few faithful servants gave me all these blessing I have spoken about. This is a great example of how strong our prayer is, how much God listens to us as we weep and cry for souls, how much love God has for us.
I hope my testimony strengthens Christians and brings non-Christians to the Lord. If you have been saved, I ask that you never allow Christ's generous hand to slip from yours. And to those who haven't been saved, I ask that you accept Christ as your savior. He is waiting patiently for you!
He is the Christmas present I have been waiting all my life for.
He isn't a curse, but a blessing.
He is indescribable.
He fulfilled my wants and needs.
He is the Father, Son, and Spirit.
He is the love of my life.
He is my provider.
He is my savior.
He is the Lord.
The almighty Lord!
I thank God for saving my soul and may He be given ALL the glory!
When you review, please give God praise, not I.
Love,
Deeper Than Fathomless
PS: I will be re-writing my testimony because I want to give God more glory!