Chapter 2

"Clare..."

Her name barely escaped his lips and he already regretted it. It had been some time since he had last seen Clare. The last time that he had seen her she had been angry. She had been hurt. She had told him, as he had run down her street, that she hated him for what he had done. Her now ex-boyfriend, Eli Goldsworthy, had managed to convince her of the truth of his actions. That he had molded this personality in order to get into her pants.

His plan had worked.

And that was why Clare loathed him. Her gaze was seething and Fitz thought, just for a moment, that she was trying to kill him with her eyes. If looks could kill, he would have been dead a long time now. Even after I'm dead, Fitz thought to himself darkly, She would still wish harm upon my corpse. Shaking that thought from his mind, he risked looking into her eyes.

"Don't you dare say one word." Clare said, her voice complete ice. "I know what you are trying to do. I know that school is not even in session but I'm on my way right now to go talk to Mr. Simpson."

He needn't ask but he did, regardless. "Why?"

"Because I saw you bring Father Greg with you to talk to him." Clare retorted. "I know why you brought him here. You brought him there to aid in your case because up until that point, Mr. Simpson had no sympathy for you."

Fitz managed to hold her gaze. "I want to go back to Degrassi, Clare." He explained, making no sudden movements as if Clare might pounce on him. "I've told you that I was sorry and you forgave me. Father Greg is a trustworthy man. Mr. Simpson needs to know that I am sorry."

"He also needs to know how you manipulated me into having sex with you." Clare said. "I'm sure Mr. Simpson hasn't forgotten about Darcy and her rape." Fitz could tell that Clare was clearly in control of her emotions and was using them as a weapon against him. He didn't know where she had managed to get such control but that didn't matter now. "If he remembers Spinner being readmitted, surely he has not forgotten that, either."

"And is this your revenge, Clare?" Fitz asked quietly. "Is this how a true Christian acts? Forgiveness..."

"I stopped being a true Christian when you stole my virginity from me." Clare said with finality. "I believed you. I forgave you. And you used me. I will never forgive you for that."

Try as he might to try and dismiss her words as nothing, they stung. Even after two months of not seeing Clare at all, she held such resentment. By the sounds of it, she wasn't going to let it go any time soon either. "Spinner gained forgiveness." He recalled as she started to walk away. "It took some time but he earned it."

His answer was her back as she walked away and disappeared around the corner.

"Never is a long time" Fitz said to himself. "And I only have one more year.." He allowed the sentence to trail off and decided not to finish the thought. With a nod, he turned and walked into The Dot before he was late for work.

As Eli Goldsworthy sat on his bed, listening to his Ipod, his thoughts began to drift. He hadn't allowed them to slip for some time but the song that he was listening to reminded him of someone he was trying desperately to forget. He closed his eyes as the memory of leaving her on her steps flooded back to him. Her sobs that broke his already wounded heart to smithereens. He had to do it. He had to leave her. There was just no way that he could forgive her for what she had done.

"Oh, Clare..."

His voice trembled as he said her name. It had been the first time in two months that he had uttered her name. Her name now joined Julia's on the list of names that caused him an almost physical pain. He clutched at his shirt as his heart ached. He needed to think of something else.

Anything else.

But he couldn't. It took him some time before he realised why she refused to leave his thoughts.

He actually missed her.

He shook his head. No. No, that can't be. He hadn't missed her in the two months that he hadn't seen her. He hadn't missed her. She... she wasn't his angel any more. She wasn't the same person that he had fallen so dangerously in love with. Missing her? That wasn't it.

Nonetheless, he couldn't quite convince himself that he didn't miss her. No matter how hard he tried.

His phone vibrated and he was happy for the distraction until he learned who had sent him a text.

Clare...

He felt like he had stared at the screen as if it lied to him. He didn't know whether he should open it or not. He had the sicking feeling that if he did, he would only regret it.

He opened it regardless.

I miss you... Please. Can we talk?

If it had been two months ago, he might have sent a reply that there was nothing for them to talk about. That there was nothing for them to talk about. Ever. They were finished. Over.

But she had caught him at this moment. This moment that seemed to defy reality where he actually missed her. Missed everything about her.

He sent a simple one-word reply.

Yes.

He didn't wait long at all for her reply.

Can I come over?

He sent her another yes.

She didn't reply right away and he assumed that she must be on her way. He got up and turned his Ipod off. He left his room and ignored his parents as if they didn't exist. He opened the front door.

She was already there; hand raised that she was about to knock on the door.

Before he could say anything, she threw herself on him and sobbed. No hello. No greeting. Just an unbelievably tight embrace and tears.

The ice that had developed on his heart melted and he wrapped his arms around her. Trying to comfort her. "You wanted to talk?" He whispered into her ear. He didn't like this. A hug was too much for right now.

She continued to sob, finally detaching herself from his shoulder. She reached up with one shaking hand and cupped his cheek. "I've missed you so much..."

His throat tightened and he felt like he had lost his command of his vocabulary. He managed a nod, his eyes looking down.

"Have... have you missed me?"

"I... was just thinking about you." He admitted and instantly regretted it. Clare's eyes had widened and he could see the hope that had just blossomed.

Her lips tugged into a smile, she reached out to touch his cheek again.

He caught her arm.

"I haven't thought about you for a long time." He said, trying to fill his voice with ice. "Today was a moment of weakness."

Her arm fell and he was reminded of two months ago, when he had done a similar gesture and left her. Surely this would not need to happen twice. Please, Clare. Eli begged mentally. Get to the point and go away.

Her lips had pursed into a tight line as if she was trying to keep them from trembling. Although her facial expression suggested she was trying not to cry, her eyes betrayed her. New tears spilled from her eyes onto her cheeks.

After a long silence, she finally broke. "You still hate me. Don't you?" More tears. "Well, Eli, guess what. I hate myself for what I did! I thought... I thought you loved me!" With each word, her voice raised and became more and more unstable. "I thought that if I gave you time you would forgive me! I should've known better!"

Eli found that he couldn't speak. Even a thought process was beyond him right now.

"All this hatred is directed at me." Clare said, backing away. "Fitz is the one who used me! Why aren't you mad at him!"

"I AM MAD AT HIM!" Eli bellowed at last. "IF YOU REMEMBER, I WAS THE ONE WARNING YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM! YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME!" His hands had curled into fists and he had taken an involuntary step forward.

Clare flinched as if she had been stung. Fresh tears poured from her eyes and she began to tremble slightly. "You're right, Eli... You were right, okay?" Her voice was barely a whisper now. "Please... please forgive me... I'm sorry..."

He looked away. He thought about going back inside and forgetting that he had ever answered her text. Forgetting that he had ever known her at all. He could feel his lips begin to contort into an angry scowl. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Clare take a step forward, reaching for his cheek again.

He took another step backward.

Clare chocked on a sob before whispering, "I wanted to give it to you."

And with that, she took her bike and jogged as fast as she could away from him.

It was a long time before he finally went back inside.