Chapter Two
Steven Hyde was nothing short of aloof. Growing up the way he had required him to learn how to take every emotion capable of making him vulnerable and cramming them inside an indestructible case of metal. With an absentee father (who showed up on rare occasions only to pass out on the front yard and disappear again, taking with him whatever was valuable enough to sell) and a mother who was negligent, addicted to alcohol and drugs, while living various romances with random men, Hyde had to burst the smoke cloud he was caught in. His life would never be what it was for Forman (or for any of his friends). Life was hard and complicated, and the only way for Hyde to survive was to remove his beating heart from his chest so nothing would make him crumble. And he was damn proud of such resistance, nothing could shake him—until Jackie Burkhart decided she was in love with him, that is.
Daydreaming about Jackie's wide, mismatched eyes, beautiful and brilliant under any light, was something Hyde had stashed inside the prison he had built. At first it was only because they were on the opposite ends of the spectrum, then it became about how stupid he felt when he longed to see her smile. It was that kind of sappy bullshit that made one weak, and Hyde was not—could not be weak. Like with everything else in his life, he attached her name with things he hated. It was easy, really; she had fallen prey to Kelso's (surprisingly) good looks and became a member of every pompous clique as the years progressed. It was honestly a miracle for Hyde that Jackie was dumbed down by her daddy and the cheerleading squad. He never had to endure her presence other than in the halls (if they were passing each other) or when she would walk over after school to talk to Kelso (which she didn't do much because of the gang).
Then came the year when Hyde was a Freshman in high school and Jackie was caught in her last year in middle school (both grades in different buildings on opposite ends of the town). His detachment to most things (and pride) would later make him say that it was the most peaceful year of his life, but, really, he caught himself several times waiting for Kelso to bring up her name. On the outside he would curse and roll his shaded blue eyes, but a part of him that had not be vanquished breathed easily knowing she still existed. Of course, Hyde would later drink, smoke a joint with the guys, and forget all about her. It was the way he attempted to kill her from his head. He succeeded most of the time; rock and roll and drugs led to sex with hot, loose girls that wanted nothing more than to make him put all his desire in them.
Before Hyde knew it, Sophomore year arrived and with it came the wave of new underclassmen. Jackie immediately found her place among the mainstream crowd, sporting her new cheerleading outfit, and looking down at those her clique called freaks. She was new meat in the building, clearly beautiful with her luscious, curly hair and sparkling eyes, that guys from every year wanted on her. It made him ball his hands into fists every time he saw some jock or dweeb slobbering after her, but he had to remind himself he didn't want her. Kelso, on the other hand, pulled Jackie off the market by claiming her as his girlfriend. Kelso was attractive to most girls (for some damn reason), but he did not have much else going on for him in the lists of expectations rich, popular girls like Jackie had. Nonetheless, she turned a cheek on his low IQ and loser friends.
Hyde ragged on Kelso since the day they met (occasionally kicking his ass and setting him up for hysterical accidents), but he did not wish him bad. Despite all of his terrible qualities, Hyde was a solid friend. He was loyal (and that's all the good anyone could get out of him). When Kelso officially started dating Jackie, Hyde pushed himself even further behind the line that led him to her. He set up an act to hate her, and eventually, after pretending long enough, Hyde did. He could not stand being in the same room as her, hearing her shrill, demanding voice and poor taste in music, or seeing her swap spit with Kelso. No, Hyde no longer found her appealing. He set his eyes on someone else. Of course, trying to win Donna over was having to step on Forman, so, naturally, Hyde did so for a few months before he accepted that the saucy redhead only wanted her skinny neighbor boy. That was fine, too; the older he got, the deeper the pool of chicks he could sleep with became. It was the single life for him.
Fate was tricky and a downright bitch, of course. It did not matter that Hyde had found a road he liked, that worked for him, that kept him from feeling, the world decided it was time for an earthquake. The ground under his feet shook, throwing him off until he was crawling to the nearest, stable path he could find. His earthquake came when Kelso decided cheating on Jackie was a golden idea. It started with Pam Macy: The idiot made out with Pam in front of an audience, and that audience ran to tell Jackie exactly what her boyfriend had been doing. Being the fiery person that she was, Jackie did not let Kelso see her break; the planned trip to her parents cabin was still on and they would all be going without him. The entire car ride there Hyde found himself constantly glancing back at her; that gaze of hers was stormy, robbed of its color and light, and her features were blank like the snow they traveled past. A part of him that would never let her go wanted to reach a hand over, take her shaking fingers and clutch to show her that she was not alone, that she had him—but Hyde would not be weak. Even when later that evening she wrapped her arms around him, crying into his chest, filling his nostrils with her vanilla scent, he did not lose himself.
Assuming most people would feel remorse for being blatantly caught cheating, Kelso continued to play darts with Jackie's heart as the bullseye. He asked Pam Macy to the prom over his girlfriend. How does Fate reward Hyde for Kelso's stupid mistake? It leads with Hyde fixing his tux in front of a broken T.V. he used as a makeshift mirror. He was angry, how could he not be when he was tangled into attending such a ridiculous affair (especially since the year before he had launched eggs at the couples before entering the school), but when he saw Jackie on his front doorstep he forgot how uncomfortable he was in that itchy suit. The silver moonlight fell on her like a spotlight and Hyde did not want to look away. He can't remember how they got to prom because his memory only lands on the slow dance he shared with her. Time stopped in that moment; all Hyde could feel was the banging of his heart against his bones, rioting in attempts to be let out of its prison cell, his hands on her small waist, holding her close to him, closer than he ever dreamt of being with her, and that sweet scent of hers that has never left him. He bit down on his lips for so long to keep him from telling her that she was radiant, that she was worth so much more than how Kelso made her feel. But she was in love with him, so when Kelso wanted her back, Hyde had to tear his hands from Jackie's body and put them on Pam Macy so it could erase everything the brunette had made him feel.
He told Donna once that a true friend never ratted out another friend; Hyde meant it of course, he lived by that rule, but when Kelso began to cheat on Jackie, this time with Point Place's very own whore Laurie Forman, he had enough. He would deny it to himself and anyone that asked him, but Hyde was setting up Kelso time and time again. He justified his actions by saying it was for his own entertainment, but the reason was, and always will be, Jackie. Regardless of her domineering attitude, she worshiped Kelso. It was pathetic to see her give him everything she was, oblivious that her boyfriend was dusted by the fingerprints of someone she learned to like (as much as Jackie could like Laurie). When Kelso was finally caught in his lies, everyone thought Jackie would never return to the basement. Hyde had wished it so.
Of course, nothing works out for Steven Hyde. Ever. When he thought he would finally be freed of her and the turmoil she caused inside of him, Jackie set her eyes on Hyde. At first it was her being lonely, needing someone to spend time with so she would forget about her broken heart and shattered illusions. Hyde had taken special care to show her he hated her for the past couple of years, yet it all seemed to have been in vain.
The first time was his fault. When she followed him like a lost puppy, he was coaxed by her beautiful eyes into spending the day with her. He refrained from being a complete asshole, but when she assumed it would be a daily thing now, like she owned him, Hyde had to remind her just how much he despised her. At the first sight of her tears he thought the world stopped. He had been hard with her for so long, but she had tough skin, nothing broke her – Hyde didn't break her. He panicked at the thought that he now was, but then she threw herself at him, pressing her lips to his. It lasted less than a second, but he was sure it took him two lives to decide to push her off. Hormones and secret desires wanted to devour her, but, above all, Hyde could not forget whose ex-girlfriend she was. Kelso did not deserve her at all (something Hyde told her, too), but he could not ignore the mess Kelso also was because of their breakup.
The second time was her fault. Jackie's interest in Hyde had begun with noting how they were both lonely and in need of a companion, but it then turned to want. She wanted him and she was unabashed for saying it. The gang bought Hyde's dislike for her, unaware of what demons with Jackie's name he carried in the dark corners of his mind; they laughed at the possibility of that ever happening, but Jackie was nothing short of determined. She would not stop until Hyde liked her.
Her persistence was maddening – not because she put work in trying to win his heart, but because Hyde had been fighting since he was a child to lock her out of it. With her banging on his walls, armed to the brim in order to conquer, he was often on the brink of surrendering. The only thing that saved him was the years spent in the red shades of his anger to give in that easily. He doubled his hate, wearing it like protective gear, and went to war against her.
Then Chip happened.
Jackie would later claim her plan of making Hyde jealous was a success, but he will forever tell her to get bent. But, yes, he had been. When he saw her walking up to Forman's, her arm linked with that asshole's (and his stupid, suave hair and guitarist rep), Hyde felt victory turn in her favor. He pretended long enough that he was not waving a flag of surrender, until Chip crossed a line that gave Hyde the perfect excuse to punch his lights out. Jackie came running up to him, wonder in her giant eyes, knowing she had won the war.
They went off in her dad's Lincoln and drove for almost an hour. He settled on buying her a cheeseburger wrapped in tinfoil and she eagerly accepted anything that came from him. When they parked on a hill that overlooked the town, a silence fell on them. It was comfortable – the most at ease Hyde had ever been with a girl without being high or drunk. His senses were acute; he needed them to be so he could feel her body heat on his side, to see the stars reflect off her mismatched gaze, and the moonlight bathe her skin. He wanted to look at her forever, this enchanting being that had power to turn his world upside down. That's how it always felt, like she was unraveling everything he worked so hard to keep imprisoned; so when she made the point of showing how she understood him, how she saw the real him and loved what was exposed, he knew nothing would ever be the same again.
And it wasn't.
She leaned into him and he followed pursuit. When their mouths met and her soft lips were on his, he could barely remember his own name, let alone what to do. Then, when her hand reached for his face, holding on, he knew it was real. He pushed his desire for her into the kiss, wanting nothing more than for them to become one.
Of course, the spell Jackie was under broke at the stroke of midnight. Terrified at how easily he crumbled at her touch, Hyde gratefully put on his pretenses and carried on in a different direction than hers.