Chapter Two

What It Is Wouldn't Be, And What It Wouldn't Be It Would

Jasper's POV

I was suddenly so nervous, being here with Jacob like this, cognizant of his every glance and mannerism directed towards me, as he and I seated ourselves at table close to the expansive windows.

The sky had turned a velvety blue-black and the powder snow continued to fluttered down atop the town, making for a truly peaceful view for the two of us to behold as we sat across from each other inside the bright, somewhat occupied diner.

"This is why I like this place so much...not too many people know of it, so it never gets too crowded here," I explained conversationally to the dark-skinned American male before me while we both shrugged off our coats and got more situated inside our burgundy and wood-grain booth.

"Nice...I like it," Jacob agreed with another one of his brilliant, joyful smiles, the affect of which once again catching me mildly off guard and I had to hesitate and divert my eyes from such positivism.

He was so carefree, so easy-going, as if nothing in this world could possibly bother him.

I found myself envying that about him in an instant, envying it because I knew how truly valuable it was to possess; it meant the difference between freedom and pain.

I allowed a small, personal smile to grace my features as I internally mused that someone like Jacob probably would not know the horrible affects of real pain – he was too full of life for that, too full of bliss and merriment to even care to know what hell felt like.

I blinked appreciatively at him, a bit lost in my own thoughts, as I watched the whole picture of him, everything he had to offer, as his long-sleeved black thermal shirt perfectly matched his messily spiked hair and brought out his lovely mocha skin tone.

"So...what's good here?" Jacob asked me after a beat as he picked up a menu from the wire rack at the far end of the table and began perusing the list of entrees and drinks, his brow furrowing a bit as he scanned intently over the items the diner had to offer.

I smirked now that his eyes were directed somewhere else, feeling my nerves easily soothe within me, reminding me that I had nothing to be scared of with someone like him around, someone who was not tarnished as I was.

"It might be a Hungarian dish," I began answering his question with a comical roll of my eyes once I said the word 'Hungarian', pleased when I saw Jacob crack a smile and lift his sparkling eyes back to meet mine, "...but I do recommend the goulash."

"Hungarian goulash it is, then..." Jacob affirmed confidently as he closed the menu and dropped it on the table, his immaculate teeth showing in his broad smile, and this time I could not look away.

Jacob truly was a sight to behold, his happiness making him even more beautiful in my eyes, as his very nature drew me to him, drew me into wanting to see that smile, that joy...

A modest clearing of a throat broke whatever trance I had been placed under as Jacob and I both turned our heads towards the petite, middle-aged woman standing besides us, a smile on her face as she waited for our attention before setting down two glasses of water and silverware.

"Ya magu vam pamoch?" the waitress asked if she could help us, prompting me to open my mouth to begin speaking to her.

"Dva goulash, pazhalusta," Jacob suddenly ordered for the both of us, his cheeky grin still in place as he winked at me upon earning my surprised gaze.

The waitress quickly scribbled the dinner order down on her notepad before murmuring 'sure thing' in a barely distinguishable English, and then trotting towards the back.

"Tricky...I'll have to remember that you're tricky, Jacob," I joked with the chuckling American as he fixed me with an inviting stare, his endearing eyes tracing over my snow-kissed features for a firm moment before he replied.

"Does that mean...that you would want to see me again sometime after this...?" Jacob asked carefully but playfully, his voice going up at the end of his question as he quirked an eyebrow up at me and regarded me pseudo-critically.

"Um..." I needed a minute to think over exactly what Jacob was asking me, my thoughts dabbling with ideas of having a friend, a real friend to rely on finally, to finding someone I could possibly love after all this time, someone to open up to, to cherish...just like I did with him...

"Da...I would like to spend more time with you," I admitted a bit awkwardly, avoiding his eyes until I felt a blissfully warm, strong hand gently grasp the top of mine as I had my hands clasped together and perched on top of the table.

I snapped my wide eyes to his, seeing his onyx bangs that had fallen a little more into his eyes from the weight of the melting snowflakes, no doubt, as he had his head cocked just the tiniest bit the side as he held my shocked gaze with so much patience, so much underlying understanding as if he knew of my secret pain and was already expressing that he would help me through it.

"Good...'cause I would love...to really get to know you, Jascha...for as long as you let me," Jacob's American-accented words were sincere and full of so much depth that I continued to find my words leaving me, my brain hushing pleasantly, and allowing me to only feel for once.

My lungs took an involuntary deep breath, something Jacob did not miss, as he smiled even bigger at me, his thumb rubbing comforting circles across the top of my wrist before the sounds of footsteps made us slowly break apart.

"Vot, vazmite. Na zdarovye!" our waitress presented us with our food and told us to enjoy as she carefully set down the steaming plates of seasoned beef and noodles before Jacob and myself.

"Spasiba," I thanked our upbeat waitress with a nod of my head, watching her already cheery face brighten even more so upon hearing my expression of gratitude, something I had admittedly let fade from my usual speech to people lately.

I saw now just how much something so small could mean for someone else, though.

My gaze swept across the room for a second, taking in the other few patrons that sat in pairs, eating quietly and chatting amiably with one another, before my attention landed back on my companion.

Jacob was already chewing his food, his chin resting on his wrist as he had one elbow propped up on the table, as he watched me with a knowing smirk and eyes that shone with adoration, eyes that felt like they were figuring me out, and that were happy that I was happy.

"Vam nravitsa?" I smiled shyly as I asked him if he liked his food, turning all of my body back to my own dinner as I retrieved my fork and knife and began cutting up portions of the spicy beef.

Jacob grinned handsomely as he swallowed, his eyes still staring heavily at me from across the table, even as I busied myself with digging into my own food, feeling the weight of his eyes blatantly admiring me which made me feel excited and bashful and...totally desired.

"Mne eta ochin nravitsa!" Jacob exclaimed that he, in fact, really liked it, as he finally took his chin off of his wrist so that he may resume rigorously eating his meal.

The air between us was light and comfortable, capable of totally putting me at ease, with our mild banter and his effortless smiles that transitioned into making my own more genuine, more full of something I knew I had lost a long time ago but was now able to feel it coming back to me.

Our meal had been excellent and Jacob's wit had been even better, as the black-haired American male had told me all about how he was a Quileute Native American, born and raised on a beautiful reservation called La Push in Washington.

He told me about the spanning rock cliffs that oversaw granite-blue waters, all of it blanketed with lush greenery where fresh rain kept the trees tall enough to pierce the clouds and allow for a gentle silver sheen to coat over the entire area, something a bit magical known only to the people who lived there.

It sounded beautiful.

"It is beautiful;" Jacob confirmed, our Hungarian goulash having long since been devoured as we now just sat and talked about whatever we wished, as I was captivated by his descriptions, the passion he obviously held for his homeland and family, of life in general, "...you should see it...you look like the kind of guy who would appreciate beauty at its finest...I know I do."

My breath hitched in my throat upon seeing Jacob look at me through his long, dark lashes, his subtle hint and more than significant gaze not going lost on me at all, as I swallowed hard at such bold words, words that were more of a question to me than anything else.

"I...I should probably be going now...it is getting late, you know..." I muttered lamely, suddenly feeling the need to put some distance between myself and such sweet words coming from such a wonderful person, the undeserved tenderness coming from him making me feel edgy, a bit out of control, and I agreed with myself that I needed some time to get back in touch with reality.

Jacob stood the instant I did to put on my coat, his face still watching me compassionately without any hint of confusion or wonder, as if he had known I would react this way.

"I agree, it is getting late...one in the morning if my watch is still right," he commented coolly, surprisingly me with the time of night it was as he checked his dark-brown leather wristwatch before also retrieving his coat.

"It was really nice meeting you, Jacob..." I offered quite sadly, unable to help the regret blossoming in my voice, as it had already swelled tremendously within my chest as he and I both went through the motions of parting ways, the American slipping on his heavy coat as well.

"Here..." Jacob said simply, catching my attention from fussing with my hair and collar too much as he deftly grabbed a napkin from our table and then retrieved an ink pen from the inside of his coat, jotting down his name and number on the delicate material before passing it to me.

I accepted the contact information with slightly trembling hands, already feeling my rue gradually begin to subside now that I clutched something from Jacob inside my palm, my eyes lifting up to search his once more.

"I won't even ask you for your number, but I do want you to have mine...in case you ever need to talk or go grab that drink...I want you to know that I'll be there...okay?" Jacob purposefully ended his thoughts to me with a question, his cocoa-colored eyes soft and enveloping as I gratefully nodded my head.

"Okay...really...thank you," my voice was small, meaningful, and Jacob knew it.

"And don't worry about the bill...I got this one," Jacob winked at me one more time this night, his grin growing into a full-blown smile as he picked up our check and merely held it in between his fingers for a moment, the moment that I knew cued our farewell.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat, feeling quite like I had been in a blissfully fogged daze for a prolonged period of time, a lovely reverie in which none of my problems existed...and it had been all because of Jacob.

Without truly thinking about otherwise, I stepped forward, barely noting how Jacob's eyebrows rose in pure surprise as I smoothly wrapped my coat-covered arms around his taller, broader frame.

Jacob immediately reciprocated my embrace without question, hugging his long, heavy arms tightly around me, as securely as our multiple layers of thick clothing would allow, as he lowered his head to be closer to my own, the paper check falling forgotten to the floor all the while.

"It's alright, Jascha, I gotcha..." Jacob whispered for only me to hear, his rich timbre of a voice strumming through me, coaxing me into even more of a state of contentedness, as I breathed in his spicy, pleasing scent, cherishing how his soft coat cushioned our embrace as if I was surrounded by a cloud, "...I'm here for you now...there is nothing to worry about anymore."

Wordlessly, I took my time in retracting myself from the intoxicating warmth of Jacob's arms, honestly feeling better, more human, than I had in months.

"Thank you...again...I'll see you around," I spoke calmly before finally taking a step away from Jacob and turning towards the exit of the diner, my hands fastening the buttons along my coat all the while.

This time, I felt the need to hold onto the warmth that still lingered around me.

Author's Note: It only gets better from here. I promise no dramatic downfalls, no more DEATHS. I super swear that one, people. XD Cheers!